Parents are dumb!! [Long]

I'm SO Annoyed!!!!!!!
10mos old dcg arrives this morning at 8:20am and mom says she was up at 6am and ate at 6:30am. Mom doesn't have her on a consistant wake up schedule. Some days its 6am others 8am...if it was my daughter up at 6am I'd give her a bottle and back to bed missy! but no, whatever time she's up at is right to play time.
At around 10am I got a text from mom but I didn't answer it. We were at the park and they text too many times asking how she's doing, what she ate etc. etc. so I'm slowly letting them know I'm BUSY and have time to answer those questions at the end of the day at PU!!

When I read the text at 11:30 I was shocked....Wanting me to keep the baby awake from 6am to 12pm....no morning nap & wanting me to follow the routine set at home. All in hopes baby wont wake up during the night anymore since she'll be so tired and act 'more like 'herself'.

a) Are you kidding me? she should follow MY routine not yours since she is here 5 days a week and only 2 days with you!
b) you are a pushover who has created this monster and are now complaing about it/her!!! she wakes up at night wanting her soother which is in.her.hand to be put back into her mouth and you "sillys" GO RUNNING to her and do it for her!!! How about the fact she can put it back in on her own and....and....and... ..that she doesn't even use one when shes here!!!! Stop running to her everytime and she WILL GO TO SLEEP!
c) all kids act differently at daycare vs at home!!! It's a fact.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRR!!!!!!!!!!

So here I am acting like an fool. Making her believe I'm following HER rules as she BELIEVES is MY BOSS and I must PRETEND do as she wants! I hate this! Even though I'm doing it my way anyways I just hate having to lie like this!

Sorry for the long post....this is really bugging me today.

She isn't your boss, you are. If the child is up that early and is that age, yes she needs an a.m. nap. Mother must adjust child to the daycare schedule not vice versa. You are correct in limiting your responses to her text. You are a child care provider, not an answering service. Don't let her bug you, just follow your instincts. :glare:

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Originally Posted by mimi

She isn't your boss, you are. If the child is up that early and is that age, yes she needs an a.m. nap. Mother must adjust child to the daycare schedule not vice versa. You are correct in limiting your responses to her text. You are a child care provider, not an answering service. Don't let her bug you, just follow your instincts. :glare:

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Exactly this! She is NOT your boss, she is a client who is using a service you provide. That's like Hiring someone to come fix a roof and you going up there and telling them how they are suppose to be doing their job. You are not the roofers boss, you are using them for a service...it's the same thing. A child that age getting up that early NEEDS a morning nap and this woman is an idiot! Keep doing what you're doing and just smile and nod.

Ya, I'd tell her the truth. This is what works with my schedule... I have XXX amount of children and if I bent for all of their individual schedule's I'd be trying to nap kids all day.

You can offer to start to wean her morning nap out. maybe 45 min max and go down to 1/2 hour as you see fit. Maybe she'll see that you're working with her, but under your rules.

I can't imagion how frustrating that is to deal with.

I love when clients txt me during the day. Like I have nothing better to do then up date you on your one child.... I'll just ignore the other 4. LOL

It really depends on the child. I have a 9 month old who has weaned from her morning naps at my hand. I kept her on them for the first few months she was here, then slowly eased them out as her afternoon nap was a dismal 45 mins, then another 45 at 5pm. She was exhausted by the series of short naps, so I changed it to one long one. She's golden now :) She stays awake easily until 12pm and sleeps till 3pm and is happy as a clam. However, some kids are sleepier. If your little one needs a morning nap, by all means, keep it up. But it could possibly be that the morning nap is causing problems at other sleep times.....along with mum not providing any consistency. Would she be receptive to a conversation about a strategy? I know my youngest stopped morning naps at 6 months and stopped napping altogether at 1.5 yrs. He just wouldn't sleep at night. Removing naps resolved the issue.

If I didn't see this child be TIRED then I wouldn't care but today for example - by 9:30 she was getting just nasty. Screaming, growling & pulling at her hair.....I tried distractions, we were at the park and went for a walk then I tried the swings etc. anything but sleep just seemed to piss her off even more. So I gave her the soother & her bunny and she was out within 5min! She herself woke up in 45min at aprox 11:00am

We got home and ate lunch by 1pm she was getting cranky and yawning again. This time in her playpen, soother & bunny and she slept until 4:15 when I went in to wake her up! Dad arrived at 5:20 and she yawned 3 times while in his arms as they were leaving. She's tired!!

They just expect her to no longer wake up during the night so they can sleep SO they want to tire her out so much that she'll "knock out". I mean my 2.5yr DD still wakes up with terrors or something during the night (not every night but 3 our of 7 days for sure) so it's normal to expect a child of that age to wake up a few times too BUT if you cater to them they will PLAY you.

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Originally Posted by apples and bananas

I love when clients txt me during the day. Like I have nothing better to do then up date you on your one child.... I'll just ignore the other 4. LOL

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Exactly!! :laugh:

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Originally Posted by Mamma_Mia

BUT if you cater to them they will PLAY you.

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This part here is dead on! Even at 6 months old, a child knows what they want and how to get it. It's the parents that train their kids how to have bad sleep habits.

I don't mean to speak for you Mamma, but I think you meant that this woman was acting as if she was your boss, not that she IS your boss, correct?

OH MY GOSH! ALL CAPS FOR THE 'ANGER' THIS GIVES ME!!!!! HA HA
REALLY?.......I HAVE THIS ON A REGULAR BASIS WITH "NEW PARENTS" THEY KNOW NOTHING!!!!!!!
AND TRY TO TELL US HOW TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR KID WHILE THEY GO TO WORK!!!! SO FRUSTRATING....HAVE YOU EXPLAINED TO HER SHE GETS TONS MORE STIMULATION AT YOUR HOUSE? DO THEY WALK HER TO THE PARK EVERY DAY? DO THEY HAVE MULTIPLE KIDS ALL OVER THEIR HOUSE GIVING HER SOOOOO MUCH TO SEE AND DO, EVERY DAY? HERES ONES...HOW BOUT IF YOU ASK HER TO GET ON YOUR SCHEDULE INSTEAD. ??????????

I feel for you seriously, I have had sooooo many "new parents" do this crap to me. Ask in the am "could you please have her nap more in the afternoon? she has been getting up through the night at random times to eat, thats not her ussual." I have to look at this Mom and hold back what I really want to say: " you f-ing moron!!!! your baby is a baby...they have unpredictable schedules and needs, they have weeks of growth and weeks of sleep, they have different needs. If you didnt want to "get up in the night to take care of your own child" you should have kept your legs crossed!!!!! i do everything for you during the day because you choose to work instead of raise your daughter.....how bout a thanks for all you do!!! rather than a "you could do this better, and this and this!!!!" Geese, just shy of coming to your house in the middle of the night to take care of her for you, I think I do quite a bit. FREAK!!!!!!!! and God forbid, we (able and knowledgeable providers) ever make a "suggestion" to these "book-smart" "doctor lead" parents regarding the care of their child, they look at us like we are crazy and make comments like "you mean to tell me my doctor isn't right?" like as if the Doctor is God himself and IF they go against his recommendation they will be condemned to the FIRES OF HELL! AAAHHHH I hate these kinds of parents!!!!! (if you can't tell:)) where has basic intelligence gone?

BTW. This Mom is only frustrated because she wants to sleep all night with no interruptions because she is tired, works all day and has to get up early to go to work!!!! She wants you to FIX her problem. It's so easy to "blame it on the Day Care". My kids a Brat..must be the day care. My kid doesnt sleep well...must be the day care. my kid says "I hate you" ...must be the day care. so much easier to hold others responsible.

If I were a parent reading this thread, I would be very sad to think that this is how my child care provider views me. Just sayin'...

This is Not all parents...just the "ignorant" ones! :) and there are almost as many as Great Parents unfortunately!

oh my! just read back my response from earlier, oooooooh, a little harsh.:o I guess if a parent read that they certainly would be like WOW!!!!! Sometimes a "typed" vent can seem quite crazy!!! :) The truth is, sometimes we (providers) are expected to "fix" everything for parents when it doesnt work out to their "liking". Bottom Line: WE DO A GOOD JOB "raising" these kids 9-5 and should be thanked, not scrutinized!

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Originally Posted by Alphaghetti

I don't mean to speak for you Mamma, but I think you meant that this woman was acting as if she was your boss, not that she IS your boss, correct?

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Yes :) Anger doesn't let me think clearly.

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Originally Posted by treeholm

If I were a parent reading this thread, I would be very sad to think that this is how my child care provider views me. Just sayin'...

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Too bad! :mellow: Don't like it? leave... and maybe....JUST MAYBE they'll learn a thing or two from reading it!

You mean to tell me you'd be ok with a parent coming into your home and demanding you to follow THEIR rules so they THEY can get a full night's sleep insted of taking care of their OWN child?? They would rather have me put up with a constant screaming from a tired child for the sake of them being able to sleep that night (which wont work anyways! babies wake up...especially ones who are almost 11mos and have been teething so bad AND don't have ONE single tooth yet). Maybe I should do that.....not give her a nap, let her cry & scream for hours until it's "MOM's nap time" and see how that goes!! Ya'think mom would be happy then?

I knew I liked you mama-mia, :laugh: reading your threads I bet you "say it like it is". nothing wrong with that. I have to say...I have gone for years feeling disrespected by parents and "having NO ONE to talk to about it" unless you are a provider and go through the same things, you just don't understand the "hardships" of the job. We have to be "pleasant" and "kind" "softspoken" and "understanding" all the while have random parents blow into our house like "tornados" and attempt to run the show. When they have chosen to hand you the reins, but try to keep a hold at the same time. Just doesnt work that way so well. and you have to let it out every now and then. :) thanks for your vent, thanks for allowing mine!

I think we need to remember that this is a public forum and is a website where parents come to look for a prospective daycare provider...when they come to do their search, the forum is right up there on the home page...and if I were a parent looking for care, the title of this post would definitely catch my eye and would probably anger me. While it can be challenging dealing with differing parenting values etc, I do think we need to be careful not to scare new parents away from home daycare by referring to them in such terms. Sometimes it is simply because new parents really don't understand what it is like to care for multiple children...how can they understand if they have no experience with it? I think it is our job to help them understand in a repectful way.

I'm a parent and I know I've made lots of mistakes ... Just ask my kids ; )

I know this post was not about making mistakes it was about parents wanting us to cater to them and how unrealistic it really is .... But ..... Like the poster above I think this thread casts a bad light on dayhome providers ....JMO

Every once in a while I do remind myself that it is a "public forum" for providers and parents alike. :) Other times, I feel like its a private chat with friends, where else can we (providers) go for a vent? Being careful what is typed SHOULD be priority, completely agree with you...and how mamamia stated: "sometimes our anger takes over", completely agree with that too. :) Sometimes we come here to share joys, sometimes to share troubles and sometimes just to "spew"...I guess bottom line...we all are who we are, take us or leave us. For those parents who read this and dont like whats said can do the latter of the two. :) If you can't "spew" sometimes to a "friend", what do you do?
In regards to the "how can they understand if they have no experience with it?"....my point exactly, so why are these "new" parents treating us (most of us) "seasoned" providers, as employees who must follow their demands, instead of treating us with respect and asking for advice or simply listening when we talk. Can't speak for anyone elses experience, but my issue stems from first time parents who are "clearly" (IMO) doing things wrong and having "issues", yet rather than taking advice, are actually "telling" me what to do with their child every day. Nap, don't nap, feed, don't feed....there is a fine line between working together and trying to make someone work for you. If they want control that badly, they just need to stay home and raise their own child 24/7. Otherwise, return the respect that is originally offered in the first place. :)

me too, crayola kiddies....tons. :rolleyes: