Running into DCK outside of usual environment

I have a little DCB who turned 2 today. They live in our neighborhood, so I dropped off a present for him. He was playing outside & as soon as I came around the corner to say hi...he almost started to cry! Same with another DCG (she's 2 as well)...ran into Mom & her in the park...she clung to Mom & started to cry when she saw me. i was horrified! Both mom's laughed it off; both kids are strong 'routine kids' & get easily freaked out by any changes in that routine. These same children (as are all of my DCKs) are so happy and joyful arriving to daycare every day, they play happily all day, are cuddly and affectionate. The Mom's both laughed off their children's behavior (both actually apologizing)...meanw hile I felt like I must look like the worst provider in the world if these kids are crying when they see me! My husband says that it makes total sense, they associate me with Moms & Dads leaving? Have any of you noticed this behavior?

Yup perfectly normal at that age for the reasons your spouse shared it is that 'shock/confusion' and at that age they only know how to express it any other way but to cry or get shy ... I have had even older children who look at me wide eyed like I have three heads if I bump into them out and about and will say things like 'why are you here? you go back to daycare' like I am some sort of zoo animal who is not allowed to leave that setting and seeing me in the store or what not is like seeing a giraffe strolling through ;)

I had a 3 year old who I bumped into on a Saturday who just could not understand why I did not have all the other daycare kids in tow ... she grasped that while SHE got to spend time at her home in her mind everyone else lived at daycare and she was confused by the concept that no they all have homes just like you :rolleyes:

The older they get and the more they grasp that people can be associated with more than one part of their life the easier it gets ... I have had 4-5 year old age group who be line through stores with excitement to see me out and about like they got a treat :)

Happened to me too. I ran into one at the grocery store and she clung to dad like I was a complete stranger. I think I represent leaving mom, if they see me out of my home they think I'm going to take them away and they're not expecting it. I just keep my distance, waive and smile and talk with the parents and remind the child that I'll see them tomorrow at daycare. LOL Kids are funny.

At the age of 6 I have a very clear memory of seeing my first grade teacher in the mall. I can still see her in my minds eye. I was so shocked to learn she left school aka her home, and shopped like regular people. :laugh:

Lol mimi. My daughter just saw her preschool teacher at the grocery store a few weeks ago and was super excited to see her, but she kept asking me "why is she here?". lol

Yes, I have had some kids worse than others (usaully the OCD type behaviors are worse) I always put myself in their shoes....Here they are walking along with Mommy at their side, safe and content (remember...this is a working Mom...so their time with her is soooooo special) then,...here you come, and they are like..WHAT?! I want to be eith my Mom today, not her again. Not that they don't care for us, just..Mom is their "first pick". As it should be.
I find I get this behavior more from the "introvert" children than the outgoing "speak their mind" sort of child.
Either way...being the provider...IT STINKS! :) just feels like they don't like you, not so though!

Also think it has ALOT to do with seeing that person OUTSIDE their normal that can FREAK some kids out. We shop regularly at the Tractor Supply Store and my daughter and I saw one of the Girls who works there, we talk to her like we are friends at the store...saw her out and about and it was "strange". Just outside the normal felt strange. :)

You may be misreading what they are doing and personalizing it. Very common response but if you know the root of why they do that it will help you to handle it differently in the future. The reaction of the kids is more that their position or power position changes when you are with them. Imagine them walking along... being at the top of the heap and in control with their parents... and bam... they run into the one person who they are NEVER the top of the heap and never in control. What's a kid to do? Grasp their power source (parents) and hold on for dear life. Who wants to come down from the top?

So next time you run into a kid away from the house do "no touch" "no talk" "no eye contact". Completely put them on ignore and position your body so that they don't see anything but your side or back. Do ALL the talking to the Mom and be VERY chipper. Don't say anything to the kid and don't look at the kid. Completely ignore and focus on the one who writes you a check every week.

If you do this the kid will see you have NO interest in them and their position is secured. Let them be a bystander but not a participant. Now they may see you are shunning them and try to engage you but don't buy it. Just stay focused on the parent and leave the kid out of it. If the parents try to force the kid on you just say "oh he's on his day off... he's on MAMA time" :yes:

Totally agree with the power thing, I always get the look of "oh ,no...is she going to put me in timeout?" ha ha . makes me wonder sometimes if I'm too hard on the kids? or are the parents too soft? :)

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Originally Posted by daycarewhisperer

So next time you run into a kid away from the house do "no touch" "no talk" "no eye contact". Completely put them on ignore and position your body so that they don't see anything but your side or back. Do ALL the talking to the Mom and be VERY chipper. Don't say anything to the kid and don't look at the kid. Completely ignore and focus on the one who writes you a check every week.

If you do this the kid will see you have NO interest in them and their position is secured. Let them be a bystander but not a participant. Now they may see you are shunning them and try to engage you but don't buy it. Just stay focused on the parent and leave the kid out of it. If the parents try to force the kid on you just say "oh he's on his day off... he's on MAMA time" :yes:

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OMG this is EXACTLY what happened; I told little guy that I was just visiting quickly, & got talking to Mom...within a minute he was smiling and visibly relaxed!!

Thanks everyone! You so eased my mind!!!