What do my kids have against sleeping?

Okay, so this may be long, but please bear with me... I need to vent.

My children both are very difficult to get down to sleep for the night. I am going insane trying to get them to sleep at a reasonable hour. My husband has been working late for the past couple of weeks, and probably will be for the next little while, so I don't have him to help me any more (we usually each take a kid and put them down for the night).

My daughter will not stay in bed. She cries because she is afraid of the dark (she has a night light) and is afraid of monsters (have tried everything to convince there is none in the house) and continuously gets out of bed and comes downstairs. If she doesn't get out of bed she is yelling at the top of her lungs for me to come see her, thus keeping her brother awake. I am trying to be sensitive to her fears, but at the same time, I do not want to encourage her behaviour. The only way I can get her to sleep right now, is to lie down with her (which I do not want to do).

My son it seems I am constantly having to wake up so that he will go down for his next nap/bedtime. He normally does not fall asleep before 9pm, more often between 9:30-10pm (He will normally just talk to himself in his bed until he falls asleep. I currently put him to bed at 8:30). I have to wake him up in the morning by 8am or he will not go down for his nap at 12:30-1pm. He normally talks to himself again until he falls asleep, usually around 1:30pm. I wake him up at 2:30 because if he sleeps any longer...well you get the picture.

Am I missing something here?! All my other dck's go to sleep no problems. Why is it that I can get other people's kids to sleep but not my own?

Sound like 'sleep time resistance' to me ... so it has nothing to do with being tired and more to do with not wanting to 'miss' anything that might be going on in the house.

This website has lots of awesome resources on sleep and tips for promoting healthy sleep patterns with kids ... I like it because it is medical research people who are passionate about sleep and not written by people who have a bias to sell you something or profit from something ~ just people honestly passionate about the role of sleep and your health!

http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/sleep.htm

Thanks Reggio! I will definitely check this site out.

My son also went through an afraid of the dark on monster phase. No amount of telling him there were no monsters would work, or that monsters weren't real so we finally gave in and taught him how to make them go away. He sticks out his tounge and says go away monsters! We also showed him cookies monster and explained that some monsters just bring yummy cookies. Now he's ok with monsters and we no longer have that bed time fight. As for scared of the dark we either leave the hallway light on and door open or door closed and his lamp on. Sure it wastes electricity but it solves the problem and my sleep is more important.

What ages are your children?

I agree with Toregone ~ children's fears are generally 'real' so giving them tools to fight those fears has more success than trying to just tell them they do not exist ... making a monster / bad dream catcher or monster be gone spray (lavender water) are a few things I have seen work so the children has the power when the fear comes along to direct it toward something concrete ~ spray their spray or tell the dream catcher to 'get it' and so forth.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Inspired by Reggio

I agree with Toregone ~ children's fears are generally 'real' so giving them tools to fight those fears has more success than trying to just tell them they do not exist ... making a monster / bad dream catcher or monster be gone spray (lavender water) are a few things I have seen work so the children has the power when the fear comes along to direct it toward something concrete ~ spray their spray or tell the dream catcher to 'get it' and so forth.

---

The 'monster' spray worked like a charm for us...instantly! We used water with vanilla in it (it was all I had on hand that would give it a scent).

I kicked my sons monster out of the house (like went to the front door and everything) Now he goes to bed with his monster sword (a plastic toy from the doilar store) to fight them if they ever return. LOL

Thanks for the ideas ladies! I cant remember exactly what is was now, but before she fixated on monsters, she used to get upset because something else was in her room so my husband and I have both taught her how to get rid of them and the monsters (we got her to roar at them). We've both "kicked" out all the monsters several times too. I will try the monster spray to see if that works. We've also talked about real vs pretend too as well as friendly monsters too. Funny thing is, she will ask us to tell her a monster story at bedtime, which we refuse to do for obvious reasons.
I know sometimes she uses it as a stall tactic, other times she does seem like she is afraid of them.
Toregone- My daughter is 3.5 and my son will be 2 in February.

With my own children I had a nightly routine of stories and songs and then I darkened the room and tucked them in and sang a few songs while I sat on each child's bed and rubbed their forehead or back and made sure they were relaxed. I was very strict and stern with them about getting out of bed for anything except to pee. Use consequences for your daughter's screaming by removing privileges, etc. whatever you use for discipline. Don't let her continue or believe me she will only get worse. She's playing you like a finely tuned instrument and it's up to you to put a stop to it. I know it isn't easy, it takes a lot of time and patience and consistencey. my youngest daughter was a special little monster so I completely understand what you are saying.

At 3.5 you can be stern with her. What are her current punishments for getting out of bed or screaming? I am a frim believer in consequences for actions. A repeated punishment every time she gets out of bed or screams should help.

Depending on your comfort level have you ever thought of just closing the door and walking away? She will scream that is for sure but if you keep going back to her then it just leads her to believe that her tactics work. My own son would just open the door when I did this so I keep a child saftey doorknob lock thingy in his room and when he is in a "big time out" or if he won't stay in bed I pop it on. Then after the time out or once he's asleep I remove it. You'd have some rough nights and I'm sure your other child wouldn't sleep with the screaming but a few nights of that and it might just work.

Well we got her to go to sleep by herself last night. It took us about an hour to get her down, but she did go down by herself. We shall see how tonight goes. My son is another problem all together....he didn't go to sleep until 10:30pm. Ugh...one child at a time lol.