What would you do!!!

Hello

I need some advice.

I have ( had) a daycare boy age 3 who turns 4 in a few days.

I started looking after him in July. He is a only child with two cousins that he rarely sees. His nonna provided care for him while his parents worked. He was brought to me because I live a block from the the public school he attends and his nonna lives too far from the school to provide care ( She lives close to dads work).

From day one he has been a handful. Spoiled does not begin to describe this child. He had everything done for him and when I absolutely refused to do it he would throw a fit. He constantly wets his pants, expects to be dressed, and is as slow as molasses getting him to do anything.. His parents/nonna never make him do anything and set no boundaries..
He can not listen and wants his own way 1000% of the time. His kindergarten teacher has the same complaint. Which does not happen here.

Daily timeouts are part of the care routine. (4 minutes on the chair once he is sitting quietly)

Last week he threw a fit when the other girl I provide care for wanted to play something else and not what he wanted to play, he got so mad he threw a heavy toy at her hitting in her in the head.. Luckily she was more scared than anything and he earned a hour on the timeout chair for that.

Yesterday he had another fit, resulting in his normal screaming. As usual I removed him from the play area to the bedroom to have him quiet down. I do this by taking him by the hand and walking him down. It took him a long time to calm himself and he did scratch his face in the process.

Once he was able to return to play I emailed mom to let her know. Her response ( as always) was that they would talk with him. That is all they ever do with this child.

Last night dad called me after pick up to ask about the scratches.. I only knew about one and I explained it happened during his fit.. He also wanted to know why his son's shirt was all stretched out. I said the kids had been playing rambunctiously and that was possibly why it happened. ( it was very cold and rainy here so no outdoor play to burn off energy) My 14 month old constantly pulls herself up on the kids as well.

Well it turns out the boy told dad.. I grabbed him and dragged him down the hall so NOT true.. but its my word against his and as a parent he wants to believe and protect his child. I completely understand that. He told me on the phone he did not believe I did that and as for the other scratch it could have happened during play or even at school. I do not recall seeing any other marks on the child other than the one scratch that he did himself.

This morning I woke up to the following email.

" After much discussion with ------ ( child) and my wife the decision has been madeto remove ----- from your care. While we are not accusing you of anything at this point, given the unexplained injuries and what our child is saying. we feel it necessary to seek legal counsel and will advice you in due course"

WTF? This email was sent at 1133pm. Anything legal will have to wait until this morning.

I am absolutely sick to my stomach about this. I have never ever had this happen before. It could very well ruin my livelyhood. For the most part I absolutely LOVE ( we all have days we do not lol) what I do.

Should I get a lawyer or wait and see? My husband is being awesome about this ( or as awesome as he can be via text he is already at work).
What do I tell the other parent ( I only have one other child in care right now). That child is a dream come true to look after and this is the same child the toy was thrown at.
Should I stop advertising for children?

I am very confused and scared at what all this means for my family.

Any advice would be welcomed.

First of all, don't panic. I know it can be scary and nerve wracking to hear about "legal counsel", but try not to let it freak you out. Unfortunately, you're just going to have to wait and see what it is that they do in order to see what your response should be. They may not do anything so it's too early at this point to hire a lawyer.

In terms of the other parent, you don't have to give out any information. Just tell her that so and so won't be coming any more and that his parents decided that something else would fit them better.

Good luck.

Scary and more annoying than anything for sure. As if we didn't put up with enough on a daily basis. The fact the child's behaviour is out of control at school too will certainly help in your favour. As far as the shirt goes and the scratches both are normal play/tantrum reactions. Child could have done it himself in frustration and there is no way for anyone to prove otherwise. A scratch is not considered abuse by anyone unless it happens on a consistent basis. Basically the parents don't have a lot to go on and doubtful a lawyer would procede with anything since it is all based on heresay and no facts.

They may very well call authorities and you may get a call or visit in due course but it won't be considered an emergency so it may take awhile. It really is nothing to worry about since they simply come, visit the daycare, talk to you. This is a good time to talk about the child's behaviour in general, school complaints, etc. the parent may not have made them aware of.

The good that might come out of this is that the child/family will get some help in dealing with the child's anger issues and lack of social skills.

But for now do nothing. Print out the email from the parent so you have a hard copy just in case something happens to your computer but do not delete the email from your computer.

Firstly, take a deep breath. Remind yourself that you have done nothing wrong and keep reminding yourself of it everytime you feel anxious. Continue with your business and advertising. You do not need get a lawyer unless you feel better with that level of reassurance. If the parents were serious in taking action they would be directed to children's aid who would take a report and investigate. That would most likely result in a visit to your home and a chat with you. Have you ever been reported to children's aid before, personally or business wise? If not do not be too concerned as every report to c/a must be investigated and you don't have a history with them.
Has the parent of the other dc child you care for ever witnessed this boys behaviour? Don't say anything to them, but document this childs behaviour issues in your home and any correspondence you have had with the parents. Remember, his teacher has the same issues with him. Just prep yourself mentally for questions that may come.
That being said, this could just be a nasty scare tactic and they will not proceed. It is awful how they are trying to make you feel but don't let this situation dictate your life. You have had a shock this morning and you have been frightened. Now think confidently and rationally and let them bring it on if they want to as you have done nothing wrong. Please keep us posted....this could happen to any of us.

Breathe. Don't panic.

Mimi and Playfelt had some great advice here. And yes, this could happen to any of us. Downside to this field.

I seriously don't think anything will become of this either. What are the parents going on? I cannot see a lawyer taking this on. It's ridiculous! :no:

You must document, document, document! their claims will be unfounded but think back to any incidents this child has had since in your care...try to think of dates as well....don't panic. :):):):):)

Thanks everyone for the encouragement and words of support.

I have already printed off every email I sent the parents regarding care and behaviour. This child was quite the handful. Each and every timeout resulted in a email to the mom. Very happy I kept all those emails.. ( Sometimes twice a day)

I also spoke to my nephew who is a police officer and he in turn spoke to his sargaent who indicated that if the parents did not contact the police immediately then, there is not much the police can do, and if they had contacted the police I would have been questioned already. Anything to do with a child at/in harm is taken very seriously.

They are welcome to call Children's Aid. I am already on record with them. My husband and I applied to be foster parents and its a long process but they certainly know me and my home.

Being a provider and a mom I know kids get bumps/bruises and scratches with or without watching the child 24/7. I have no doubt this child scratched himsel :)f in his fit.

All I can do is wait and see but I do feel better reading your replies. Thanks again for that
I am not sure what a lawyer would do if they went to one. I am not going to worry about getting one until there is a reason to do so.

At this point it's best to not discuss this any further with the parents and get your home ready for a visit.

I think you got caught up into a few dynamics you may not have been prepared for. First, taking a child who has been cared for by a grandparent often doesn't work out. Nobody on the planet wants you to be happier than a grandparent. Going from grandparent care to group care is like going from one end of the earth to the other. It would be a rare kid who could adjust from the permissive environment where they rule the home to a home where a stranger adult rules and the child's position in the home is one of many. The child showed you clearly what happens when his environment didn't allow him to be the King.

Also, there are some families who use free grandma care for a long time and when grandma surrenders and refuses to keep doing the free the family lays in wait for an opportunity to show grandma that SHE is not protecting her young and doing what is best for her grandbaby because the parents REALLY want the free granny care back. Often the catalyst to get grannie back on the free IS a claim of physical abuse towards precious. So ANY altercation or injury will be enough fodder to get the parents to convince granny that only SHE can care for and protect precious in their absence.

You may have unwittingly gotten in the mix with that. For them to pull the kid immediately shows that they DO have options for his immediate care. That would be free granny.

Next... NEVER take a kid with violence in their behavior. Unfortunately todays parents and providers believe that children getting physical is "normal" child hood behavior so the end game is just to work on it. We aren't allowed to exact ANY kind of real discipline so the result is that we have kids that are comfortable getting physical with us, our property, our kids, and the day care kids knowing full well that we can't do a single thing other than giving them words as a consequence. If we do time out they have the opportunity to fight all the way to and from time out and refuse to do the time out. That time when you are trying to give a consequence puts you on the fry for an accusation should an injury or a child's perception of your behavior bring into question what YOU did during the discipline.

Also.. NEVER admit to ANYTHING regarding what "could" have happened when you didn't see it. Your explanation of the child's shirt put you as much at risk as the child's allegation that you hurt him. You have basically said you didn't see anything but the kids were rough housing enough to stretch out a shirt. That means you weren't watching and that will land you in more issues.

I would also NOT discuss the days before hour time out. That will also land you with consternation from cps and could ultimately give you a founded case. The current public mindset is that time out should AT MOST be a minute per age. When you get into an hour you can have the worker evaluating it believing it is excessive.

The only thing that is really safe to discuss is that the child's behavior resulted in you needing to give the child his own adult. If the child needs their own adult and you don't have an adult for him then you can declare safely that you can't provide the care the child needs.

The child throws toys at the younger kids. In order to stop the child from hurling heavy toys you must provide him his own adult to stand between him and the kid he is throwing it at.

If the child refuses to go to time out you have to provide an adult to sit with him and one to one him for his four minutes.

If the child refuses to do self cares he needs his own adult.

If the child refuses to clean toys he needs his own adult

Get the picture? You use "needs his own adult" for EVERYTHING. Then the question becomes "can the parents provide his own adult AND pay for his slot in care?" That way you put the child's "needs" on THEM.

Never ever keep a kid that will fight an adult. If he struggled even slightly away from me when I was hand walking him from point a to point b I would have immediately called his parents and told them he is fighting the directions I gave him and he needs to be picked up immediately. I will not put my hands on a chlld who is doing resistant counter moves while I'm propelling him forward. The chance for injury (scratches) is too high and puts me at too much risk.

It IS getting to the point where we aren't allowed to do ANY ANY ANY kind of discipline other than redirection words and giving a child his/her own adult. Some states in the US are banning time out for under three's AND some are banning it all together. As time goes on and we get more and more kids who can't be disciplined in ANY way... we will see more violence and more accusations. Today is the day you know you can't say NO to a kid and expect ANY kind of compliance if the child disagrees with your no. That kid GETS to do whatever he wants whenever he wants. Either you can offer that in your home or you can't. If you can't offer that then he should have been gone after the first act of defiance or violence he showed you.

Lastly the shirt stretch out most likely occured by him bringing his knees up to his chest and pulling the shirt over his knees repeatedly. That could have happened at your house or during a school time out. When kids are left with NOTHING to do during time out they will use their clothing as a toy or something to amuse themselves. At four he is old enough to bring his knees up and pull the front of the shirt over his knees and stretch.

Good luck and do NOT speak of this again to the parents. They have told you that they WILL give further accusations with their line: While we are not accusing you of anything at this point, they are really saying "we are hitting up granny for her to get back on the free gran plan. She's okay with it today but should she say no to doing it tomorrow... or next week... we want to leave the door open to say words to you to get you to take the child back if we are in a bind." Since they don't know for SURE that granny will stick with it... they are keeping a slight opening in your door.

I don't have much to say that hasn't been said.... I am so sorry that this occurred. It is one of the hazards of what we do. No matter how awesome we are, Mom/Dad always believe little Johnny's story.
I am glad to hear that you have documented everything. That will be huge if anything ever comes of this. Note that I said "IF"! I would continue on with your business. Advertise, and run as normal. The other parents don't need to know why he left. Try not to lose any sleep over it, hard as that may be. IF they end up taking it farther, I would consult a lawyer, just in case.
Good luck, and prayers that this all blows over!!!

I wouldn't stress too much over it at this point honestly. Wait and see if they do anything.

Don't say anything to the parents of the other child in your care. If they ask, just say the family no longer required your services.

Keep advertising, run your business as usual.

A stretched shirt is not abuse in any stretch of the imagionation. I think it's interesting that the letter said they weren't accusing you of anything "right now" but were seeking legal council.

If I was afraid my child was abused in care I wouldn't call a lawyer, I'd call childrens aid! I'd want them to document the "injury" immediatly and be more concerned about a poor care giver still with children then getting "legal council"

Are there are fees for pulling their child out immediatly? Do you have a deposit still? Do you think these are threats to try to get out of paying any further or to get their deposit back?

I would cut off all communication with them other then by email. That way everything is traced. And if they do call, ask them to email you their concerns. "i have been advised to have all communication with you by email only" it may make it sound like you have a lawyer and they may just back right off.

Good luck, what a horrible thing to go through.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Like others have said, I don't believe they have much to go on (since you didn't do anything wrong) and doubt much (if anything) will come of this. Keep your head up and enjoy your time with the other daycare child! :)

I'm so sorry you have to go through something so terrible! I agree with the others, breathe, relax and try not to stress because, really, how stupid are these parents? Sorry, but it's true! We all know that little children embellish stories especially when prompted by their parents and when the parents are buying into the story. Kids thrive on attention.

Parents should always be diligent in making sure that their children are in good care and never suffering any kind of abuse wherever they go. I agree with that, but parents also have to use their gut instincts and talk to the caregiver about everything and not threaten lawsuits.

I also agree that if this happened to me I would not let the child come back, period! Too scary. All the others gave you wonderful advice. I'm just sending out support.

When I worked in a daycare center a child around the same age as the one you mentioned would help out with the younger children. This child "made up stories" about the teachers and the children and told their parents. It was taken seriously and looked into but it was proven that the child had made it up. Needless to say, when the child wanted to help out in my classroom I said NO. The parents were not happy, saying that it hurt the child's feelings but I was not going to put my career at risk knowing that this child makes up stories. (the child made up stories in her own classroom as well) It made me concerned about their home life. If children are making up stories like this they must have gotten the idea somewhere....

Incredible feedback. THANK YOU so much! I find it very useful and I am sure the other providers will too.

Mom has attempted to call me twice this morning. Her number came on up the call display but no message was left.
I had already decided not to speak to either parent. If they want to contact me email is fine.

Its a very good point that the email states " They are not accusing me of anything right now" and its not something I thought of.
In all my years of childcare this is the first time I have had this happen. I had a very active mischeivous boy break both his leg and his arm with in two weeks and his parents were absolutely amazing about it. 10 years later I still feel terrible even though I was watching that boy constantly.


There is no way this child is coming back to care. I also never thought about the parents " saying abuse" to get grandma/family members to give free care. This child was definitely the king of his grandma ( nonna's )'s home.

The deposit will not be returned as they pulled him from care without the two week notice required as stated in the contract.

I have already done up the tax receipt for the family and its ready for pick up.


I will continue to wait and see. I am hoping the worst is over.

Holy crap! :no: Again, I have nothing to say that hasn't already been said, just wanted to send my best wishes your way for having a happy/calm day despite what this family is doing to you. Wait and see is all you can do for now. Some people, I tell you! When parents say the untrue things that their kids tell them it's always good to reply with "yeah, you won't believe what he said about...." I'm sure we have plenty. We hear a lot of things out of their mouths, too! While children can't be ignored in claims, we and the parents also have to take it with a grain of salt and use some judgement, which obviously the parents have not done.

Enjoy some camomile for now and a nice glass of wine tonight! (Seems to be my answer to everything!) ;)

Good luck!

I"m assuming by your name that you like Doritos??? Red wine and doritos go together very nicely btw! Just saying....

I would not allow the family to pick up a receipt. You have until Feb 2013 ( I think ) to issue it. Do it at that time and send it registered to their home address.

A family that threatens you with legal action should have no place being anywhere close to you or your daycare. Email is a good way to communicate. If they feel the need to contact you through a lawyer then your lawyer can respond. But in no way should that family be anywhere near your home.

They sound like they are fishing for problems and you should not let them close enough to find any.

Be polite in your email responses and leave no opinions... just facts.

Some poeple are horrible! Just the fact that they said "not accusing yet" makes me feel like that's a threat.

I think you are right to keep the deposit, however, don't be surprised if that's what they try to come back for.

Apples and Bananas that is a very good point. The tax reciept can wait until February 2013. I will just file it away until then.

I have to say with him gone, the mood around here is lighter.. We never knew when he was going to have a fit because he was not getting his own way, or did not like snack, or did not like a activity etc. He could really really cry and it happened several times a day.

If they want the deposit returned all the power to them. It clearly states that if for whatever reason a child is pulled from care without the proper notice the deposit is forefeited.



GCJ I love doritos.. Most women are all about the chocolate give me a dorito anyday.. I think I deserve a bag today! I love the wine idea but I can not drink alcohol anymore.. The headache is so not worth it.

First of all so many many :glomp::glomp::glomp ::glomp:to you. What a horrible situation.

And NO they're not getting their deposit back! lol No matter what the reason, they pulled their son from care, which is a breach of contract and is the exact reason why people collect said deposits in the first place.

I also feel that no lawyer will take this case on, especially since they've made no police or CAS complaint to substantiate any allegations. Good effin luck to them. Yeesh.

Also, I want to add that I have a very hairtrigger 7 year old in my care. I have, more than once, had to physically pick him up and drag him somewhere else in order to stop him from harming himself, or another daycare child. Guess what?? I totally stretched out his shirt as I was dragging his ass across my yard after he hit me in the face. :blink: Unfortunately, violent children sometimes have to be physically removed from situations.

Thankfully, I had the complete support of his mother and father. I think the difference here between this and your situation is that MY dck's parents know how difficult it is to reign this little guy in when he was going full tilt. By the sound of things, your precious special little daycare boy doesn't get any consequences at home, therefore, his parents have ZERO idea what it's like to have to remove him physically from a situation. Hmmm, all of this is just my wordy way of saying, yes, we have to do what we have to do sometimes, and it sucks really really badly that we are sometimes made to feel liable for what we physically HAVE TO do for safety's sake.

First of all hugs to you. And remember you have done nothing wrong. Thankfully you have emails to mom regarding sons bad behavior so that shows his history Of poor behavior and moms responses of nothing more than 'I'll talk to him later'. Also good that his school teacher has similar complaints. I once looked after a child like this whom had to physically remove from play areas to prevent her from injuring herself or others. She would purposefully hurt herself and tell her parents I did it.......anyhow, they as well thought they should seek legal counsel, never did, but I know it's not pleasant or easy waiting on them.

I agree that you don't need a lawyer at this point. If it makes you feel better, go ahead and speak with one. Keep your documentation on hand invade you need it. Other daycare parents dont need to know what's going on right now, you can tell them it wasn't working out with little boy and he's no longer attendng day care with you. As hard as it is, try to remain calm and remember you have done nothing wrong at all. I would not contact these parents at the moment either. Let them be until they contact you. Also I would not be returning their deposit as they took heir son out of care. I wish you all the best and I hope they give up this ridiculousness and begin taking an active role in their sons discipline.

Hey
Just wanted to give a update.

I have NOT heard from either mom or dad regarding this matter. The child has NOT been in school either.
While I still hate not knowing what they are doing, the longer it takes the more I think nothing is happening.
I have been paid for the time he was here this week and I will keep the deposit.

With him gone I am actually starting to love what I do.. I never realized he was truly sucking the life out of me until he was gone.

I told the other parent it was not working out. She was perfectly fine with that.

Now if only I could replace him. Daycare life would be great.

Ahhhh, sweet relief. It's amazing how you do not realize how much stress you are under until the stressor in gone. You won't be hearing from them. Enjoy your days and good luck finding a replacement. :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DORITOSGIRL

Hey
Just wanted to give a update.

I have NOT heard from either mom or dad regarding this matter. The child has NOT been in school either.
While I still hate not knowing what they are doing, the longer it takes the more I think nothing is happening.

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He's back at Grannys house and she doesn't transport to school. Having free granny is better than paid day care and free school.

Ha Ha DCW you should be a detective!! I think you have hit the nail on the head :laugh:

I am glad they have left you alone! I doubt they will actually pursue the legal action. Enjoy the peace! :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mimi

Ha Ha DCW you should be a detective!! I think you have hit the nail on the head :laugh:

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I've been doing this for a long long long time. I've seen the free gran plan cycle many times. With granny they can come and go as they please, bring the kid in jammies, leave the kid overnight, take them when they are sick, etc. and not pay a dime. When granny gets to feeling used she lowers the boom. When they get a very small taste of real world day care they can come up with the words to granny that it takes to get back to the free granny. If they can sprinkle it with "see you can't trust anyone BUT you granny" then granny feels special and the parents get the free back. It's just words for the parents and a week or two of paid child care. You have to KNOW that you have a high chance of being accused of harming the child because the parents need that to get granny hooked back in. Also, the preschooler who comes from granny is very often explosive and has spent the majority of his day eating bad food, watching non stop tv, sleeping when and if he wants, and getting the adults to do WHATEVER it takes to get him to not cry. Granny is doing free so she can do all junk and all tv all the time.

The kid is a mess so the provider has a terrible time getting him to go native. That time from granny's to real world day care often leads to violent outbursts and it is within the violent outbursts that the adult caregiver is on the fry. Just MOVING a kid from point a to point b to separate is risky. If the kid can fully talk they will practice what they are going to say to their parents on the way to and from separating them. If they say "you are pulling my arm" then they will tell the parents you pulled their arm.

The whole thing is risky risky risky. It's best to interview that out. If the kid is coming from years of granny care then let the parents know up front that you don't allow ANY physical acting out and ask if the child CAN behave and not act out physically. Tell them you know that most people believe it is normal and often adults tolerate it but you don't. Most parents of a kid who acts out violently will run for the hills when you tell them you will boot the kid out if he gets froggy... the first time.

First off...take a deep breath. These things can and will happen to most of us through the period of this wonderful job, if they haven't already. Not sure what grounds there could be for a pulled shirt, and if they go so far to seek legal council I'm sure a first question will be regarding the childs temper/fits (as far as any scratching goes).....not sure how far anything this trivial could even go IF the parents aren't "bluffing". :) Do you have record of days and times these "fits" took place? Might be a good idea to search your records and have each account of fit, act of aggression, and time out available to go back to, just in the case it may be needed. And for future reference you may want to remember to ALWAYS document each episode from a child that may have resulted in an aggressive situation by that child. Spoiled kids are the best....sarcasm!!!! The parents will take the 4 year olds word over any other. Although it could be quite possible the parents are fully aware of the childs dif personality therefor they automatically jump to conclusions thinking that you went over the deep end after providing care for their "nasty" little boy. Oh I have had MANY of these ones come through my door, most often you can straighten them out (at least during the time they are with you) but there are always those few little ones that have the "spoil" outweigh the "right and wrong" you attempt to instill in them. This one sounds like a loss for sure. Cut your losses and attempt to move on! I know its not easy to try and forget about something like this, you fear the worst and in this job the worst can seem awful....but you did nothing wrong....ANYONE would have a hard time dealing with a child like that. Just make sure you have all your records set just in case you get a notice from licensing or an unexpected visit regarding the matter, that way you have all your ducks in a row. Future reference...once I had a little girl who threw nasty fits and I recorded her during a few of them, not sure why but something in me said, "cover your butt". Never had to use the records, but had them just in case. And always remember to address ANY marks a child might aquire during care at pick-up. It is quite possible that this boy has never had a fit like the ones at your house before considering he is so spoiled at home, therefor the parents may not be aware he has the capability to scratch at himself or pull his clothes in discontent. I have seen many kids get so mad in time out they do all kids of things, including bang their head on the wall and throw themselves down on the floor. High energy kids are known for this. Good luck with everything, stay relaxed and don't make a huge deal...legal council should only be looked for IF things go farther....which I doubt they will.

just read the latest posts.....:) so glad you haven't heard from them and I am sure you won't now. Just the fact that they have removed the child from school as well says a little more to the fact that they will "protect" their wonderful little ball of peace and joy they call their angel of a son...:) from ANY kind of "mean" person. Oh they may say it has to do with Granny not being able to transport, but I'll bet it has alot to do with the fact that along with you, the teacher had also spoke of having a hard time controlling their little bundle of sweetness. What would a day care provider or teacher know about the proper behavior of a child anyway? ha! maybe Granny can homeschool the little sweetie too?
Enjoy your new found peace, and carefully interview for a replacement.

Thanks everyone!
I have a interview today.. I know mom will want references I wish I could call the child's current provider for a reference. Mom is looking for new care as her current provider is pregnant and closing down for 6 months starting November 15.

The boy was at school today with Nonna who gave me the stink eye.. Whatever.

I am just going to chalk this up to live and learn.. and I never once thought of the dynamics of a child only cared for by grandparents.. It was a eye opener. It did not help this boy is the only grandchild for his Nonna either or at least the only one she sees.
I really appreciate all the love, support and the fact NO one was ever negative towards me. You are all amazing professional women!

Just to add a bit - coming from someone who has grown up 'raised' by an italian daycare provider, and has had many italian friends.....because nonna's 1st grandchild is also a BOY makes him able to walk on water in her (and the family's) eyes. So no matter what you'd do if it's not what the child wanted then you are evil.

Don't be hard on yourself...they're nutzo!

All the injuries they are describing are normal things that happen to kids everyday. He very well could have scratched himself kicking and screaming and having hissy fits. There is absolutely no proof of abuse from what you describe and any good lawyer would advise the parents not to persue it. They sound like parents who don't want to take responsibility for their childs ridiculous and unacceptable behavior. I have learned from doing home daycare that many parents can't parent their child and need a scapegoat which is daycare more often than not. They are threatening you and trying to intimidate you- Don't let them!