Unwelcome guests...

Hello all,

Just had a quick question on how other daycare providers handle nasty parents during interviews? In my six years as a home daycare provider, I have for the most part had pleasant families come to my daycare. The other day I had a family come for a tour, and give nothing but "attitude" during the entire interview process. The first five minutes or so, I just put on my friendly face and answered their questions...after realizing they're going to be bitter and flat out rude for the rest of the tour/interview, I just wanted them OUT of my home. The child, his mother and myself were sitting in the infant area, while we conducted the interview, all the while her husband decided it's appropriate to tower over us the entire time, without saying anything more than a peep. I don't enjoy dealing with unpleasant personalities, and couldn't wait until they left. I received an email this morning that she would like to register her child....but there is unfortunately NO way I will have them welcome in my home again. :no: How do you all speed up the interview process when you would like a family to just leave your home... and never return??

I had a family very similar to this once...The father was making comments about our tv's, pc's and things..and he was busy towering over the mom and child... The pair seemed tp be focusing on the wrong things in regards to the interview process, and it just went sour.

Anyway..I ended it as quickly as possible quickly ushered them to the door, and breathed a sigh of relief.

- don't ask them any questions, just do the tour, ask if they have questions answer them will as little details as possible. When they say they have no more questions, tell them you have other interview scheduled and you have to take your of your daycare kids before they get here (if during dc hours) or just say you have to get ready for them. Thank them for their time and walk them to the door. don't waste your time if you know you don't want them. But keep in mind that all the people you interview might know other parents looking for care, so if they feel rushed or that you don't care then it will give you bad word of month.
I would just do the whole interview for the practice and hope for good "word of month" at the end. But that's just what I would do.

Kind of reminds me of my 'other' job...interviewing applicants...going through the motions when you just know they are not a good fit. Just remember, no matter how much you dislike them and want them to just leave, do it with grace...because negativity from one person can go a long way toward ruining a business. If you simply say to them (in a phone call after), I interviewed many applicants and enjoyed meeting you, however, I just can't accomodate you right now. Perhaps in the future they will say to their nice friends looking for Childcare...we met with this great person/saw an awesome set up...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Valerie E. M-C

- don't ask them any questions, just do the tour, ask if they have questions answer them will as little details as possible. When they say they have no more questions, tell them you have other interview scheduled and you have to take your of your daycare kids before they get here (if during dc hours) or just say you have to get ready for them. Thank them for their time and walk them to the door. don't waste your time if you know you don't want them. But keep in mind that all the people you interview might know other parents looking for care, so if they feel rushed or that you don't care then it will give you bad word of month.
I would just do the whole interview for the practice and hope for good "word of month" at the end. But that's just what I would do.

---

Just realized I just pretty much repeated what you said...oops sorry!

It's easy to think of what you could have done after the fact. I would have asked the father to take a seat and even pulled a chair up for him and stood there until he sat down. I also would no have asked them any questions about themselves and shortened my spiel about my daycare routines tremendously. I've had interviews with overbearing parents before and try to get them out of here in 1/2 an hour because I know I'm crossing them off my list.

Just send an email back to them to tell them you have had other interviews with families who are interested in your program and have to make a decision so you wish them the best of luck in their search for home daycares, but that you don't think you share enough childrearing philosophies to be a good match.

Yup... shorten the tour, the spiel, everything. "Any-questions-no-great-to-meet-ya-buhbye!" Lol
But keeping it courteous and professional. You never know where a referral will come from!
And I always end with letting them know that I have other interested parties. Gives me an out... ;)

Being professional and courteous with some can be difficult, but it is necessary in our "word of mouth" business. My neighbor also does d/c. She is a moody, loudmouth woman. I have heard her "kick out" a few perspective clients over the 3 yrs she's been in business. Her difficult nature has spread through my local d/c community.

Oh my! I feel for you. I have had a couple interviews that were uncomfortable .......my worst is mom was okay-ish but dad took it upon himself to look trough my kitchen drawers, cupboards.....even walked down the hall and looked inside the 'off limits to dayhome kids' areas like MY bedroom, office and daughters bedroom because he "just needed to make sure I wasn't a crazy person with swords hanging above my bed".....um wth? At that point I nicely told him those are MY PERSONAL areas, not for dayhome use and asked him to kindly stay out of them. At which point he got angry and stormed out. It's always easier to see what we could've done AFTER the fact. NOw, if I have an interview that is uncomfortable/people are being rude/trying to intimidate me I try to quickly do a tour and not encourage further conversation without being impolite. Then if they want to send their kids after this is all done andI still don't feel good about it, I tell them very nicely that I have had a few other interviews and will be offering the spot to people in the order they were interviewed or else that I no longer have the position open. Sorry you had to experience this! HOpe you find a great fit for your spot soon!

I have been there ! Interviews where you just know within a minute of opening your front door that this would not work and these are not the right family or kid for the daycare.

I think everyone's advice is spot on. You still have to do the interview and answer any questions they may have, you may even have to throw in a courtesy question or two their way but I would also keep all answers shorter than usual. I might talk in great detail about our days and crafts and learning activities to parents I want but keep it very concise for parents I don't and just say that we do crafts a couple of times a week.

Sometimes when I talk to parents who seem like a bad fit - there are moments during the conversation where I do try to feel them out and make sure I didn't jump to a rash decision based on appearances etc but generally I have never changed my mind.

I would be very polite, concise, thank them for their time.

I have also been contacted by 'red flag' parents saying they wanted to sign up but I usually email them and say what a pleasure it was to meet them and how adorable little Joey was but I have chosen another family or think that our schedules just wouldn't work etc but that I will keep them in mind if another space should open down the road.

It is tough. I hate wasting the hour knowing it isn't going anywhere but I also don't want them to bad mouth my daycare or myself if they get offended so it is a 'grin and bear it' situation

A lot of dad's aren't comfortable sitting on the floor. Normally when I do an interview we use the couch and I pull up a chair for myself. We are in the baby area though so I encourage them to put the child down on the floor to play and pull out a bin of toys for them. I like to see what the child does out of mom's arms.

Then if they move to the floor with the baby we all usually eventually gravitate down there too.

What was it about them that made you feel the most uncomfortable. Be sure that there really is something tangible and that it wasn't just parents not sure of how to do an interview - did they say how many they had done - or parents exhausted from doing interviews.

The fact they actually called back and want to place their child means no matter how you felt during the interview you managed to pull of friendly and competent so kudos for that. If you truly feel you can't work with them then ok but otherwise is it worth giving them the benefit of the doubt and having another meeting. This time you take full control adult to adult to work out the business side of things and more or less ignore the child part of it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by playfelt

A lot of dad's aren't comfortable sitting on the floor.....

---

Agreed ~ I always 'offer' them a chair and if they turn it down than you know they are just not comfortable sitting at the moment.

However choosing not to sit aside ~ if they were seeming rude or wanting things you do not offer so not a positive match in that manner than I agree with still being professional while not wasting too much of your valuable time ~ they have no clue what a 'normal interview' entails for your home so I would totally scale back going above and beyond to 'sell them' and just show them the basics and move them through with do they have anyone questions and than thank them for their time and let them know you have other interviews and will get back to them ... so while my normal interview takes anywhere form 60 minutes plus depending on how 'chatty' the client makes me a family who I can tell is not a match on my end is in and out of here in less than 30 minutes max and honestly more on the 20 minute side of just walking them through the basic day in the program and basic services the program offers, answering any questions they might have and walking them to the door ~ we do not 'sit down' in the playroom for me to learn more about them or anything!

Thank you all for your thoughts! I did make certain to make my unwelcome guest feel welcome..(as I do with any tour) until the interview was over. Kill them with kindness sort of approach, lol. I was more curious on suggestions to get them out as quick as possible without being pushy. I guess if this sort of situation pops up again:rolleyes: I wouldn't answer questions so much in detail, and try to keep things short and sweet, as most of you have mentioned. I've been extremely lucky with the families i have had over the years, and haven't had an issue filling spots, or dealing with "difficult" interviews... so I will take the good with the bad and move on :)

Oh, I missed that! You were sitting on the floor? I always sit on the couch or chairs and have the parents do the same during an interview. It's all business at the interview and I'm taking notes and sometimes, not often the parents are taking notes or have a list of questions that I usually cover before they even pull them out near the end. Good luck with the next interview.

If you have decided that for some reason you are not comfortable with the family then your other option is to actually come right out and tell them what is not working for you and there may be a very good reason for the way they are acting that you can all get past. Coming into someone's home puts the parents at a disadvantage because it is your personal space not a commercial space and they maybe having mixed feelings on top of the mixed feelings about the whole needing daycare concept itself. Every family is different just as their children are different and while we have to bond with the child we don't really have to bond with the parent the same way. If the ideals are the same and the needs for days and hours work with your program there is still a chance it can work.

On the flip side as soon as you have determined that for whatever reason you are not interested in the family in your care I just cut the interview there and say you know I am not happy with some of the information I am hearing and I don't feel that my home is going to be the right daycare for your child. Then stand up and say thank you very much for coming and I wish you all the best in your continued search for care.... have had a few parents get very agape of mouth but generally they start to gather their child and belongings and prepare to leave. Some try to get more info from me and in other cases after some talking we come to an agreement and they become good parents. It is letting them know from the get go that you are the one in charge and interviewing for an opening and you have the final say.

See I always find my 'best matches' have been those clients who just 'feel right' from the moment they enter the house and by the time you leave at the end of the interview you can imagine them sitting down and having a cup of coffee with and shooting the breeze ... I made mistakes my first year taking clients who did not 'feel' like that and well now I am of the opinion if I have to see these people everyday twice a day in my HOME for the next 4 or so years I want it to FEEL GOOD to see them coming up the driveway and if they are sending a negative vibe at the start I am not sure I want to take the 'risk' that it is just nerves!

First, when parents come in, we sit in the family room and talk about what they need and what I offer. IF I like them, then I invite them for a tour of my home (and daycare space). IF I don't like them, then I show them the door.

I have had a couple of rude, inconsiderate parents show up at my home, and I've showed them the door within 5-10 minutes. You can respect me and my home, you don't deserve to be shown my business!

I hate awkward interviews like this. It seems to be every other interview for me. I have no doubt that its the area I live in (a very well to do area *GAG*).

I still smile the whole time and ask my questions and answer theirs.

I still google over the baby and keep the interview the same length as I would anyone else.

It doesn't bug me too much because some parents just come off like this because they are scared to death of this process. They come off rude and snippy when really they are sad and scared. I, myself, come off very very rude when I am feeling shy. It's something I'm still working on in my adulthood.

I wwould definitely hold my ground if they got very rude or went through my cupboards and what not because that it totally crossing the line.

It's just something to keep in mind when having a bad interview.

And I agree that word gets around so I would do the same interview as a great family and have a glass of wine when its all over.

My fiance and I usually shut the door, wait till they are down the walkway and shout 'NEEEEEXXXXT!"

What about a parent that isn't at the interview but drops by at another time. I just signed up 2 brothers with the mother who is pretty easy going. She had made a point twice of saying how protective her husband is of their sons. This is starting to sound of a red flag.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by daycaremom9

What about a parent that isn't at the interview but drops by at another time..

---

I will not book the interview unless BOTH parents and the child who will be attending are able to attend ~ interviewing is already time consuming process for me cause mine has 3 stages of a phone interview, evening interview with family, play date interview during the day and than fr the final stage if we want to move forward orientation and contract signing to secure the space .... my evening time is most valuable so I am not wasting it on doing multiple interviews with the SAME family during this stage of the interview process ... you all come the first time and if you like me and are 99% sure you are signing on and I am 99% sure I want you than you get invited back for a 2nd interview and I do not care who comes with the child for that one having met both parents already!

A client like this would get told find the earliest night you can both attend a tour but please note that I have other interviews lined up as well ~ I am aiming to have the space filled by X date.

Seriously this is your child's daycare ~ the place they are going to spend over 50% of their waking hours in childhood ~ IMO make it a priority and do what you need to do to secure a quality childcare space for them by respecting your potential providers own FAMILY TIME!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by daycaremom9

What about a parent that isn't at the interview but drops by at another time. I just signed up 2 brothers with the mother who is pretty easy going. She had made a point twice of saying how protective her husband is of their sons. This is starting to sound of a red flag.

---

Same as Reggio. I won't book an appt without the WHOLE FAMILY there. What's the point then?! I want to see how the whole family interacts with one another.

I agree with ValerieeMC, I would just keep the answers as basic as possible and maybe not engage in a lot of eye contact, sending a message of a little dis interest but keep professional at the same time, be thankful that they came but when they leave maybe give a sure "I will let you know if I have room" and maybe give a call a week later with.."I'm sorry, hte spot has been filled, it was very nice meeting you though" and inform them you will be in touch if anything might open. I have learned in this job, you def shouldn;t burn ANY bridge, although you may never take them in, you still don't want negative talk about your business floating around town, just be pleasant and move on to the next. ;)