Burn Out

I think there should be a new forum subject about Balance.

Giving each other support and ideas on self care and balance between this hectic profession, our families and ourselves. I know this and that works for "everything else" but I think this subject deserves to be at the top of the list.

I am counting the days till I am off. Next week I work 4 days and then I am off for 17 days and boy do I need it.

I am on the brink of a burn out and I am not hiding it well. I have chronic fatigue as a result and desperatly need to crash and burn.

A combination of... money worries having just lost 2 daycare kids so close to Xmas and my sons birthday. My husband has got a new great job but his pay schedule has screwed everything up for my mortgage and Xmas shopping so things are tighter than tight for the next couple of weeks. I started a new fitness program at 5:30am 2 mornings a week but pair that with 3 early drop offs a week(6:30am), and not finishing till 5:30 each day followed by being out literally every evening for one thing and another, is killing me.

My nearly 10 yr old son doesn't sleep more than 5-6 hours a night and doesn't stay in his room while he is up. Sometimes he reads but when he gets bored he comes to us. So because I am knackered from not getting a decent nights sleep, I don't have the energy for myself, so I'm eating crappy and not looking after myself.

There is light at the end of the tunnel, I'm just trying to hang on till I get there.

The 2 kids I have lost are the early drop off kids(they are in their notice period till the end of next week), so the new year will be a regular 7:30 start. Early drop offs, NEVER AGAIN.

I quit the bootcamp until I am feeling better, hopefully the new year I can go again.

17 days off to hit the floor and get back up again. I can't wait.

Just wanted to get this off my chest because I'm really not doing well. My two kids were off on Tuesday with the teachers strike and at 8:30am, my son said I looked terrible and why don't I go take a nap and he will watch the babies.lolol I know he mean't well but wtf!?! My kids even think I am rough.

Brights, I am really sorry you are feeling like this.... I think I am sorta feeling the same way my 6mo old daycare girl is the sweetest, but all she does is cry unless she is being held..In fact she is screaming as I type...She is on her fouth week... My husband is working 12 hr overnights, and he can't sleep with her screams....

I am off on the 21st and do not re open until Jan 2, and boy even though I am a wheelchair user I am so going to be doing a jig!!!!

Big hugs to you!

Aww...hang in there...one more week to go! Your schedule made me tired just reading it...no wonder you are feeling burnt out! I wonder, is there a reason your son sleeps so litte??? He must be tired too! I don't know how you get a ten year old to sleep longer, but have you seen a doctor? I think you should send yourself to the spa on your first day off...you deserve it!

[QUOTE=sunnydays;3376 0] I wonder, is there a reason your son sleeps so litte??? QUOTE]

My son is identified as "gifted LD" through the school board and via many assessments including a Psych Ed Assessment. Basically his brain is constantly going. He processes information slowly because his processing style is so complex. It makes it hard for him not to be thinking. He isn't hyper and there are no behavioural issues which I am very greateful of, its simply that the outside world can be so understimulating for him that he just naturally compensates for this in his head. It's only disruptive at night when he can't shut it off. His school program is modified to meet his learning style unfortunatly our school board does not recognize the Gifted LD only the LD so he has no enrichment in school which is part of the problem.

He reads a lot and does Math and science workbooks but he does A LOT of them so its hard to keep up. He has 26 books coming to him for Xmas (new and 2nd hand) and about another half dozen for his birthday on Xmas Eve and he will have them all read within about 3 weeks and he's read every book he is interested in at the local library.

He fortunatly goes in waves in his ability to sleep so it isn't constant but it can still last for weeks and weeks that he doesnt sleep well.

Wow Bright Sparks...I can see the problem now! I hope he will go back into a sleepign phase sometime soon so you can get rested! I have no experience with this type of situation, but just want to send you rest vibes...the spa, I say again, is your best friend ;)

Bright Sparks, So sorry to here about your soon "melt down", don't worry there is nothing wrong with you, at one point or another we all hit that point. Do you think you could have a little case of Seasonal depression? This time of year although Holidays are Great, but other than that, can be very dificult for a lot of people, it's normal! Maybe you need to take a visit to your Doctor just to explore the option of temporary support, just to get through the winter. :)
With your son, is there any way you can make a new house rule? He gets up too early that's fine but doesn't come out of his room or disrupt until after x am? He needs to know you need your rest, and would do you a huge favor by keeping his "early rising" quiet with respect of others in the household who may not wish to rise so early. Feel better soon, take some time to yourself this weekend and also time to really connect with your hubby and kids, nothing better to rejuvinate the soul than to get back to the basics.....and think about seasonal depression, you would be surprised how many people who are otherwise happy go lucky are affected by it! chin up!:wub:

:glomp: hugs coming to you!

Sleep is so very important ~ does your home town have any 'sleep clinics' cause I have had sleep issues in the past and went for sleep clinic studies and they were able to give me strategies to deal with insomnia (aka minds ability not to shut down) including journal writing to get things out of my head before bed, visualization therapy of putting 'ideas / problems / chronic pain symptoms' in a box before bed and locking it and cognitive behavior therapy of 'those things will not come out until you wake', lavender scents in my room, no light or 'digital waves' in bedroom at ALL to stimulate brain even the clock in my room gets paper put over it so it does not give off light , ... lots of different tips and tools to help promote healthy sleep and teach the brain to 'shut off'?

Sending you positive vibes for the New year and new beginnings!

I hope you enjoy your time off!!

Sorry things are so difficult for you BrightSparks. Being a Mom is the hardest job on the planet, but when financial struggles are combined, it's sheer hell. Been there, done that. I hope you enjoy your days off and get everything back into perspective.

We all do have to watch out for burnout and we've all felt it at one time or another. Lean on us! Vent away! We're here! And good luck filling the spaces in the daycare. People will be looking in January.

Thank you Bright Sparks for sharing your 'life balance" difficulties. Your days are long and very busy and you need to take care of you honey so you can care for those important to you. It is good to hear you have a long stretch of time off. It will do you go to have the mental/physical break from work. Make sure you do special things for yourself...........l ike have a nap haha.

Though my days are not as long as yours and my daughter is a teen, I have been dragging my butt lately as well. I had the cold that seems to last for 10 days, I know I look like hell from it and I am so glad I have one more week of work before I'm off till 01/07.

Like I said, thanks for sharing. There is comfort in knowing you are not alone. Big hugs to you.:flower:

Bright Sparks: I don't know the ins and outs of LD, but my son is symptomatic of ADHD and I have read a ton on it, one book I read called active or hyperactive I learned some info regarding the stimulation or over stimulation, one of his many issues he has to deal with. On reading I realized the truth to it, when we allow him to stay up a little later at night, he seems to maintain higher stimulation in turn sleeping less and waking earlier. IN TURN! driving us up the way 5-6 am rising! AHHHHH! kids need like 10 -11 hours sleep at night....he still needs the sleep but doesn't always get it IF he stays up late, only to effect his behavior and ability to cope well the next day. Just wondering if your boy might possibly need that same pattern, or maybe her already does go to bed at a good hour, but if he does stay up later and rise early, you may want to concider encouraging an early bed time, to help support a longer night sleep. not to mention, IF he is over stimulated could it be possible, reading and continuing to stimulate in the evening could be worse for the issue rather than helping it, maybe a suggested books down time and relax mode would help? again...i know nothing, just wracking my brains to help the situation! the stress of all you deal with def has a lot to do with why you feel the way you do, if you need anything, I am here to listen......situatio ns are a little dif, but very much the same! take care!!

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Do you think you could have a little case of Seasonal depression?

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Absolutly and so does my son. I just got a SAD light for the family, but you generally need to start a year ahead of time to feel the full benefits. Clearly because in our job, even with outdoor time, their is more isolation I think it makes it easier to be effected by this. My son's mood also changes dramatically at this time of year. I'm hoping the light will help.

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With your son, is there any way you can make a new house rule?

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I love your idea for this. I have obviously told him numerous times about staying in his room etc etc, but this generally happens during the night or at bedtime when I am little shorter with him and he is probably at his worst state as this is when his brain activity clearly goes even more out of wack. I will actually chat with him today. Sometimes aswell its the way information is delivered to him. Thanks for the suggestions kidlove.

Reggio... I think a sleep clinic would be a good idea. He went to his paediatrician just over a year ago who is a lovely woman, but said I should give him a warm milky drink before bed. LOL Nightmares anyone :) She also told me to send him to bed later because he obviously wasn't tired. This woman isn't a complete idiot I swear, but in this case I didn't take her advice.

I am familiar with this...

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visualization therapy of putting 'ideas / problems / chronic pain symptoms' in a box before bed and locking it

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It's call containment therapy and I do it, but I know from being taught it how difficult it can be to get the hang of it. I would love it if a sleep clinic would be able to teach him this and other techniques to slow his mind down.

kidlove... Clearly coming on here at 9am on a Saturday morning means you have been thinking of me and for that I am truly grateful for your show of compassion :wub:

My son could easily be mistakingly characterized as ADD. When he had his Psych Ed Assessment, the Psychologist specifically stated that he was not as she explained to me that once the findings of his assessment went to the School Board that would be their automatic identity given and it simply wasn't true. His LD and gifted status are extremely unique and effects less than 1% of the general population so in cases like his, people generally place kids in the wrong category because they don't know what else to do with them.

His brain is so active because he is understimulated and that's why it's hard to get it to stop because he very easily detaches himself and withdraws from the outside world, which is a common trait for ADD sufferers, but it's because he processes information differently and if he isn't being stimulated mentally in a certain way, nothing gets into his working memory.

My son will be 10 on Dec 24th and his bedtime is 8:30. The reading seems to help most of the time, but other times I worry that he just enters another world as most do when reading but for him it's a much more hightened state which can have the opposite effect I would like. He is generally allowed to read till 9/9:30 depending on what time he actually gets into bed and how tired he seems. A lot of times an hour after his light is off is when he first comes to complain that he can't sleep. Sometimes I tell him he can read for another 20 minutes and then thats it. This often works when he isn't going through a bad period and it will be just the thing that destracts him and he goes straight to sleep. Times when I have been a little tougher with my love I have told him not to get out of bed unless the world is ending or the house is on fire and he will still be lying awake at midnight!!!

His temperment is the same the following day and even if he has a bad week of 5 hours sleep each night, he still isn't grumpy. What I have found in the last few weeks is that he looks increasingly more like I do... chronic fatigue, so obviously low energy levels. Still an okay temperment but then he withdraws easier and it is very worrying.

I think what Reggio suggested about the sleep clinic will be my next path. I have also heard from a few different sources that supplementing with magnesium helps with sleep. People who suffer from any sleep struggles, the majority of the time, have a definciancy in magnesium. But how on earth do I get him to swallow a pill at his age??? Melatonin is the first thing that most recommend but it is dangerous for a males fertility so is not something I will entertain.

Thanks to everyone for the suggestions and ideas and their kind words of support. I think it helps that I own how I am feeling right now and have acknowledged that I know I'm on the brink of a crash and burn situation. I can make little tweeks here and their over the next 4 working days and then take my time off to relax and repair. Sunnydays suggestion for the spa is something my hubby is going to do for my Xmas gift and fortunatly he has seen me at rock bottom before so he is being a wonderful crutch at this time. Example, my kids have gone to the movies with friends for my sons birthday treat and he has told me to stay at home. 4 hours of peace....Ahhhh :)

Have a great weekend folks :wave:

sleep deprivation is torture (literally) I am so sorry you are going through this. Hope it clears up soon

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Originally Posted by bright sparks

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I think what Reggio suggested about the sleep clinic will be my next path. I have also heard from a few different sources that supplementing with magnesium helps with sleep. People who suffer from any sleep struggles, the majority of the time, have a definciancy in magnesium. But how on earth do I get him to swallow a pill at his age??? Melatonin is the first thing that most recommend but it is dangerous for a males fertility so is not something I will entertain.

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Magneisum is another awesome idea ~ I swear by it myself however I HATE pills so if I can find an alternate way to ingest something I will ...I tried 'liquid oral' option and it makes me gag ~ so I now invest in medical grade magneisum oil (have a past client who gets it for me and we share a big bottle lasts me about six months) and I put 1/2 cup in a foot soak for an hour and absorb it into my system that way ~ which is also helpful in the relaxation in general to sit and soak your feet before bedtime ;)

Would he do something like that ~ so while he is 'reading' to wind down can he do it in a comfy chair with a foot soak before bed?

Honestly since doing Magnesium treatments I sleep much more 'solidly' and have less pain to boot ... when we have to wait for a new shipment and I am actually out I notice a huge difference!

The way you described your son was like reading about my own. He is now 21 years old but even as an infant and through out his childhood he slept VERY little. His average daily sleep amounts were around 8 hours per 24 hour day until he was about 15 months old. At that age he stopped napping during the day altogether and slept for only about 5-6 hours per day. He is still to this day one of those people who simply does not sleep very much. He is healthy and has no issues from lack of sleep so I am not concerned about this as I am the same way and rarely sleep more than 6 hours at one time and I certainly never nap.

My son is also classified as a genius and has a very high IQ. His interests also are focused in math and science areas and can at times be a walking encyclopedia. As a small child, he was tested for ADD/ADHD, Aspergers and several other similar things, all of which he never quite fit into the categories enough to be labled with any of them.

He does have trouble calming himself enough to relax and go to sleep so over the years he has developed some routines that help. He does things like taking a long hot shower or bath before bedtime, turning the lights down low, NO ELECTRONICS of any kind and plays soft relaxing music such as ocean waves or a rippling stream. He also eliminated ALL red dyes from his diet and that helped tremendously.

He does suffer from severe migraines at times but other than that has no health issues and is basically pretty darn healthy. I too am really healthy and have no health issues due to lack of sleep. I just can't seem to stop my mind from going long enough to ever get past that 6 hour mark. 5 hours is a pretty average night for me.

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Originally Posted by Inspired by Reggio

Magneisum is another awesome idea ~ I swear by it myself however I HATE pills so if I can find an alternate way to ingest something I will ...I tried 'liquid oral' option and it makes me gag ~ so I now invest in medical grade magneisum oil (have a past client who gets it for me and we share a big bottle lasts me about six months) and I put 1/2 cup in a foot soak for an hour and absorb it into my system that way ~ which is also helpful in the relaxation in general to sit and soak your feet before bedtime ;)

Would he do something like that ~ so while he is 'reading' to wind down can he do it in a comfy chair with a foot soak before bed?

Honestly since doing Magnesium treatments I sleep much more 'solidly' and have less pain to boot ... when we have to wait for a new shipment and I am actually out I notice a huge difference!

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I am so grateful for this advice Reggio. Would you mind messaging me the brand of Magnesium oil and where your friend gets it from along with the ratio of the mix etc. My son would absolutly do this, and I would d tooo as I have a hard time shutting my brain down and as the sleep deprivation seems to be whats amplifing all of my stress areas I think it would be an all around helpful treatment for me and my son.

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Originally Posted by Serendipity

The way you described your son was like reading about my own. He is now 21 years old but even as an infant and through out his childhood he slept VERY little. His average daily sleep amounts were around 8 hours per 24 hour day until he was about 15 months old. At that age he stopped napping during the day altogether and slept for only about 5-6 hours per day.

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This is quite incredible as my son slept through the night a good 10 hours till just over the age of 1 and then everything went to pot! He slept strapped into his stroller in a 5 point harness for about 6 weeks at the worst point because not only would he not sleep, but he decided that he would scream histerically and ABSOLUTELY NOTHING would calm him. Walks, drinks, music, playing, movie, drive in the car, bath OMGoodness it was tough for those few weeks and then eventually we found a movie that he would shut up and watch on continuous repeat like a little toddler zombie lol. This didnt last more than the 6 weeks and he started to get into his pattern of waves like now. Periods of great sleep followed by periods of pure insomnia. His temperment never waivered and I just got used to it. He gradually got back to having an average of 7 hours a night and he would stay in his bed if he was awake. It seems to be the last 3-4 years on and off that it has gradually gotten worse.