Help!! Need some advice!

Hey everyone.. So I'm just wanting some feed back as to what you guys would do for your day home?!

A girl I used to work for started bringing her son beginning of December. He is 1yrs old and hardly eats anything, won't smile, will only sleep in a swing, but that's another story. He comes from 10-4 mon to Fri. Starting in Feb the hrs will be 10-230 mon to Fri. Since the hrs are less she feels she should pay less. My issue is a) I'm still feeding him 2snacks and a meal b) he is still coming mon-Fri and therefore I cannot take on another child paying full rate mon to Fri. C) I called around and my full price is still 10 dollars cheaper than average.

In my contract I have definitions: Full time: Care Monday to Friday. Part time: less than 4days a week ex: mon-wed wed-Fri. Less than 6hrs.

Have I screwed myself over by putting in the less than 6hrs? He is still coming mon to Fri... If it wasn't someone I knew it wouldn't be so hard....

Any advice welcome!!

How is it that you are feeding him so much? I have breakfast snack at 8:30am, lunch at 11:30am and snacktime after 3pm, which is after naptime and diaper changes. I would not allow that client to pick up her child at 2:30 because I protect the naptime of all the children and pickup time is not allowed before 3pm. I don't allow dropoffs after 9am because we go outside and leave the property to go to parks and the library all the time.

As for money, a space is a space and I don't have half-day service since a child has to be here from 9am-3pm minimum. Maybe you could change your contract to indicate the 6 hours must fall into this time frame?

Thank you for the reply... They want him to have a snack at 1030, lunch at noon and snack at 230... He hardly eats anything sometimes.. And his nap time is a disaster.. Sometimes he sleeps 10min, sometimes 30-60min... I regret telling her to bring him :(

Let me ask you one more question. 'THEY WANT?' I'm sorry, but WE have routines, rules, policies, hours of business and a contract that is a legal, binding agreement between two parties, a business owner (YOU) and a client. We accept families into care who fit within our rules. We do not accept families into care who push us around, want us to make changes that will make our lives unhappy or make unreasonable demands. I think it's time you lay down the law and tell the woman the times you serve meals and the time the children are expected to nap. A one year old boy should be sleeping in a playpen for at least an hour 1/2 or two hours daily.

I think I'm too soft and need to grow a back bone. They co sleep and has never had to nap without them until now so they said use the swing.. I tried the playpen, but he just cries and they do not beleive in letting him cry it out...

If it were me, I would politely but firmly tell her that she is already receiving a very good rate for her child's care - and even if she requires your services for fewer hours every day, your daily rate is not going to change. I would also use the conversation as a springboard to discuss/explain the situation. I would explain that fewer hours do not necessarily mean less work - as you said, you're still prepping a lunch, snacks, etc. It also doesn't translate into lower expenses - you still need to provide a playpen for naptime (even if the child is only attending partial days) you still buy toys suitable for their age, you still have to pay insurance rates for your daycare, etc. I've dealt with a lot of parents who split hairs over the "but he's only there for a few hours hours - why can't I pay half rates ?" question (Answer: because your child's 10 to 3 shift is just as much work as the other kid who comes from 8 to 4) It's a bit of a pet peeve of mine. :mad: Just tell her that while you love her little guy, and would like to help her out, a space is a space and it makes more economic sense for you to have a full time child in that space than a part time one. If you have the wiggle room in your program to have a part time child that's awesome - maybe you don't need to terminate/replace this client. But - if you're already "losing" money on this one I'd suggest that you cut your losses. Again - keep things polite and professional - you could just tell her: "I appreciate that your caregiving needs have changed and I no longer feel that I am able to meet your needs. As per our contract I am providing X weeks notice that our care agreement is terminated. Effective date X I will no longer be able to provide care for Baby X" Personally, I don't offer part time care because I want a full time income. You are actually taking a financial loss to help this woman out. :flower: If she has any sense of decency at all, pointing these facts out should end her requests for a lower rate. Sadly, if she is quibbling over this kind of stuff I think things will get worse before they get better - you may want to start looking for a new family.:no:

Finding some to take that spot would be no problem at all as I get a call at least once a week asking for openings so I don't know why I'm having such a hard time cutting them!

Great advice from everyone. Mine? Please do not allow your clients to dictate what happens in your business. The decisions and policies are yours. If the client can abide by them great if not....... I also do not justify my rates. They are fair and that's what I charge. :)

you just need to lay down the rules (politely but firmly ) with her....if she doesn't like what she hears she will look elsewhere and you will be off the hook, not by your choosing..;) if she doesnt mind and decides to change her picky preference and understands she needs to pay for a full time spot because that is what your contracts state, you could have a good client on your hands. she may just need to understand you are the one in control, up to this point you have pretty much allowed her to make the rules...just let her know....1) your contracts clearly state Mon-friday = full time pay. (the child is taking a fulltime spot even if a few hours shorter per day) and 2) you feed the children by a set schedule not by each parents desires. point out to her that is how you get the day to flow properly. sometimes you need to remind parents their child is not the only one in care and IF you catered to all parents specific requests you would run yourself ragged. Good Luck! this one can be saved...your right you just need to get tough! :)

I'm hoping you have a contract and policy book ... Mine states no drop off or pick up between 12 and 3. That child still comes m-f and therefore full time oh and by the way my part time is more expensive so if she wanted to pay part time I would gladly accept it. Also I would say ....NEXT .... To this family ..... I have a schedule and your child follows it not the other way around .... This child is a poor sleeper because this is what they have created .... Kids CIO in my daycare .... They go to bed dry full and tired and they stay there till nap time is over. I would not give get a break on price and maybe she'll leave but in any event I would tell her age needs to start napping him in a playpen at home cause the swing will not be safe for him to be in much longer if its already not .... Unless he's really tiny the swings are only rated for 20lbs most 1 yr olds are hovering around that size. For liability I would not be putting him in a swing and he would be in a playpen. You have to make some rules and stick to them ..... Perhaps you need to tell her a different daycare would be more suitable to her needs

I am wondering how a one-year old even fits into a swing anymore??? Yeesh!! :blink:
In any case, it is hard to do when you have been "giving in" for the duration of your business relationship, but there is no time like the present to grow that backbone.
Put together a short list of the things that need to change, and your proposed solutions. Approach mom, calmly but firmly. Not asking, not "what do you think?", but saying "THIS is what needs to happen".
And then stick to it. :)
Good luck!!

Thank you everyone for the advice and support. I spoke with her yesterday and has agreed to pay the full amt as she doesnt want to loose me. Understands her expectations are a bit over the top wjen I have 5 other kids during the day. As for his sleeping she doesnt wantbto have to cross that until he is too big for the swing... Le sigh... My swing goes to 30lbs and he is 23 lbs... Baby steps lol One day he will sleep in the playpen!!

That's good news. You might want to mention that sleeping in the swing is bad for his back as opposed to sleeping while lying down.

Update on the situation.. The last two weeks have been Hell! He has been so winey. I cannot leave his side or he screams and freaks out. It's ok for him to leave my side but if I move from my spot he freaks. Also he is starting to freak out if I put up a gate. He wants to be picked up but then put down right away..I think he is spoiled! No matter what I do it's not helping and he is starting to not even sleep in the swing. My other day home kids are starting to comment on how he is always crying. The 2yr old told him the other day to STOP crying. My husband has told me to terminate this child or close the day home because it is stressing me out and not fair to the other kids... The hard part is I told her she should bring her kid to me bc we used to work together, but he is a gd kid when he is the only one. I'm giving her two weeks notice tonight to find new care... This is the first person Iwill have to let go and soo nervous about it but will feel relieved!
:unsure:

sounds like you made the right decision. I hope your termination notice conversation goes better than mine did LOL

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by gramma

sounds like you made the right decision. I hope your termination notice conversation goes better than mine did LOL

---

Lol that doesnt sound promising!!!!
O

If it is stressing everyone out that much, than you've definitely made the right decision. Good luck, and I hope it goes well for you!

I also think you made a good decision. Doing home daycare is busy and stressful, even on a good day. Add a crying, screaming, clingy child who doesn't eat/sleep well is enough to make anyone go cuckoo! I get that you were trying to help a friend out (you're helping each other out) but it's causing stress in the home. if the child is not adapting well to the daycare then it's best for them to find another DCP.

I had a child in my care last year that both mom and child were hard to deal with and dad was too passive. The child started out decent but then became a cryer, pusher, biter etc. She would wake up my kids when she came in the morning, then cry off and on the whole day, which affected my kid's naps too. Mom was overbearing, over protective and holier than thou. Then, She started making up her own rules as she went along. I knew i was only going to watch the child until mom went on maternity leave, and boy was i counting down the days. Then the dad's hours changed and they needed me to start watching the kid at 6 am and i said no dice!

I have a child in my care that cried for weeks! I think it was like 8 weeks. She is the daughter of friends of mine from high school. She used to cry for hours and hours on end. She wasn't a good eater or a good sleeper and it was really taking a toll on me. I have a good relationship with DCG's mom so I had a sit down with her a few times and i told her if her child didn't start adapting within 2-3 weeks, then they would have to find another provider because the child was not adapting well into care and it was upsetting the 'flow' of the daycare. The child ended up being sick for a week and they scrambled the whole week to find care for her. Turns out it was the best thing for me and the child LOL. When she came back to me, she was a different child. Now (after 6 months) she is wonderful. She eats well, sleeps 2 solid hours (up from 20 minute cat naps) and gets along very well with my daughter.

Thanks for the help. Im going to suggest that maybe at this time they find someone to go to their house bc he hates the busyness of the other kids and get him used to sleeping other than their bed! I just have alot of anxiety to talk to her.

I think we have to start out on the right foot with these kids. I would not allow a child to sleep in a swing at all. They go in pack and plays in my house. And if they donh't like it... too bad!

i don't pick children up. I will come down to their level and give them a hug when they put their arms in the air.

I serve snack and lunch and nap and snack at the same time every day. I don't work around parents schedules, they work around mine. It's simple... if a parent asks me to do snack at another time my answer is no, I do snack at 9:30.

It took me a year to learn this. The first few days of care is hard on some kids. But! I have kids who sleep here for 3 hours and won't even go to bed at home without a fuss. They adapt quickly.

I am glad you made the decision to terminate this client as I don't think there was any way you could have fixed the situation.

I provide half days at a lower rate but hours must fall in between 7 30 and 12 OR 12 30 and 5 (4.5 hours). It's $20 wether it is an hour or 4 in that time frame. All other hours are considered full day even if it is 4 hours between 10 and 2 ! This allows me to fill a morning or afternoon spot if need be.

Good luck with the termination! Sounds like the best decision in this case. Next time, make sure you tell the parents in the interview that you cannot let a child sleep in a swing or anywhere other than a playpen and that you cannot rock them to sleep. Ask the parents to prepare the child for this by doing the same thing at home. If parents know from the beginning, you will not run into this problem of them "telling" you what to do. You absolutely cannot be following different routines and schedules for different kids...you will be a basket case! Good luck!

Sighs... So that went well...NOT! She is insisting we try it for February and I only have him for 4.5hrs starting this month and if she needs to she can pick him up at 1 instead of 230 if he is not happy.. Why not just stay home then?! And how will she find someone to watch him for limited hrs? I'm like I think it's best for him to have 1:1 as he doesn't like not being Center of attention... She is like we will talk more when I pay you tonight.. I feel like saying dont bother just be done!! It's so not going to be pretty if hubby is home when she stops by with the cheque tonight. I feel like saying ok we will do feb.. Watch him till mid feb and then tell her I'm taking some time off and not sure for how long! Bla

It's really hard to terminate a client and I'm bad at it. I tend to stick it out way longer than I should and I need to have a tougher backbone sometimes but our sanity is really important. We have to pay our bills but we have to take care of our health. Stay strong!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Momof4

It's really hard to terminate a client and I'm bad at it. I tend to stick it out way longer than I should and I need to have a tougher backbone sometimes but our sanity is really important. We have to pay our bills but we have to take care of our health. Stay strong!

---

Glad Im not the only one without a back bone! I used to be a nurse manager and fire people.. Yet I cant terminate a kid lol

Nurse, the way I look at it is that she's leaving you space that is 'unfillable'. That's how I put it to my clients. I had one that wanted to increase to 4 days/wk and I said no. It's impossible to fill 1 day per week. I reckon it would be even harder with just a few hours to play around with on each day. In my opinion, she should continue to pay full rates. If you've tried to term her and she's not accepting it, I fully understand your position. I HATE confrontation and my codependent streak makes me want to make everyone happy....except myself. It sounds as if you may suffer from the same affliction - Niceness :) Do what you need to to keep your sanity and for your business. I know it's hard, but once it's done, you'll feel much better I'll bet.

Update: So after many weeks or procrastination and dropping hints her son is not happy with me, I bit the bullet and gave them their notice today.. In my contract I say I will give two weeks notice. In this instance I gave her almost 3 and she is all peed off. She then asked if I would take him for drop ins! Umm no! I'm so relieved to have finally told her :) but feel like I could use a drink lol (hardly ever drink). Thanks to everyone for ur advice!

Good for you, Nurse!! And go and have that drink ~ you deserve it....but maybe wait until all the kids have gone home! :p

Oh Nurse, congrats for getting your backbone that we talked about before. I got my backbone last week and terminated my problem family. It was horrible and awful and I never want to go through that again so I'm going to be an even more thorough pre-screener before contracts are signed in the future. How about you? However, without the child here this week was stress-free and all the other children were so much more relaxed and happy too. It is a necessary evil of our business.

I've put in my contract P/T- mon to thurs or less/ and 4 hours per day or less- also I have it that part time pays $10 more per day than F/T- I would change your policies ASAP for new parents - but since she signed a contract that stated 6 hours, I think you need to abide by that contract

I know I posted this way back.. Bt I received a email from this mom last week asking me the real reason for terminating as I have hurt her feelings?! I explained I felt he was to happy and so forth and she is like why weren't u honest with us.. I like WHAT! So I told her how it was and they she is like well I appreciated what u did for him and the care u give... 3 days later I come to find out their new day home is closing...

[QUOTE]I think I'm too soft and need to grow a back bone. They co sleep and has never had to nap without them until now so they said use the swing.. I tried the playpen, but he just cries and they do not beleive in letting him cry it out.../QUOTE]

My parents don't believe in letting their children cry it out either, but every single one of the children has become a great napper because I let them cry it out. If they don't want their child to cry it out, one of them would have to quit work and stay home with the child... The parents do NOT get to dictate how I handle nap time in my business.