Teaching Independance

Okay, so I have a two year old boy who absolutely refuses to stand up for me after nap time so I can lift him out of the playpen. He just nods his head yes at me everytime I ask him to stand up. Any tips on how to get him to comply? I've tried just leaving him in there until he is ready to stand up, but quite frankly, I think he would stay until his mom came to pick him up. Normally when I talk to them, they don't really engage in the conversation with me, no responding verbally to my questions, just blank stares.

I'm not sure if I would go too far with that, maybe try and encourage him playfully..."come on" with a smile! Maybe he is just lazy tired, he just woke up and he doesnt want to move alot?! I would just pick him up from the crib and place him on the floor just outside the crib, don't carry him out of the room like a baby, hold his hand and guide him out. that would encourage independence FROM the room, would that suffice?

Just to clarify, I only leave him in there for an extra 20 mins or so, and then I will stand him up in the playpen and tell him this is what I want him to do and then walk him to the other children.
I go in every 5 mins or so and ask if he is ready to stand up.

I take their hands and pull them to a stand then to the side of the playpen to get out. Just laying there is very common.

This is why I move them to a cot before that age so they can get on and off independently ~ that would kill my back to pick up a child of that size and weight out of the pack and play specially if they were not cooperating!

Hope he starts to meet you in the middle soon in the meantime be careful with your back!!!!

Now this is going to sound harsh, but he's two years old. He's manipulating and playing you, period. It's a power struggle to see if you will cave. Never cave! These little people are very, very clever, don't underestimate them. I would not allow this to happen. Do you speak very sternly to them when they are not listening to you? A firm voice works wonders. For a two year old who won't stand up after a nap I would tell them that we are having snack so we are changing all the diapers and hurrying to the snack table. I've never run into anything like this.

I have a two year old who was refusing to take off his boots, coat, snowpants...somethin g I know he is capable of. I just left him in the entranceway until he finally gave up and did it (checking on him of course without speaking to him...not giving him attention for it). Also, tons of positive reinforcement when he finally did it...now he is eager to do it to receive the big "bravo!" when I see he did it all by himself...he is getting faster and faster now. It's a combination of not giving in and giving tons of praise like they have just done the most marvelous thing in the world when they do it right.

Put the child in the playpen at a time you don't need him to get up. Tell him to get up. If he does not get up then come back in 5 minutes and tell him to do it again. Keep trying and don't let him out until he gets up.

Start in the morning after breakfast and dont give up. He will stand up by lunch. If you have a camera put it on him so you can see right when he gets up and get him right away. He may drop as soon as you open the door. If he does then go to him and tell him to stand up. If he refuses then start over.

You could also make it a game to begin with by holding a favourite toy just out of his reach...that may be enough to get him to stand up and then praise him up and down and eventually wean him off needing a toy to do it.

dont forget to ask the parents to take part as well, they need to do the same as home or it just wont work

have you tried moving this guy to a cot or floor sleep, perhaps he needs to be given a little more independence?

I have had a child like that as well, so for me I usually motivate through peers. I ask my 5 year old to go into the nap room and read and play with the kids while I get snack ready.

I'm usually ALL about independance and not allowing them to manipulate in ANY way.......but in this case, I think he's just 2, he just woke up....I don't see the big deal. I'd do like kidlove and just place him beside his playpen. As long as he's in a playpen, he's not being told he's a big kid, so he's enjoying a little perk perhaps...sometimes I feel like I have to be dragged out of bed, too :laugh:

If your back is an issue, then he's definitely big enough to be on a mat and problem solved!

agree completely gcj. we pick our battles in this job...i do understand it bothers you bookworm, I have a nephew who is VERY spoiled and he too, will sit, sometime lay in the crib and wait for me to pick him up. Sometimes I will others I pull him up to the side and say "out"? he puts up his arms and I lift him out. I do agree that IF he stays in a crib he is very likely to keep up the "baby like" behavior....first, talk to mom and dad about what they do at home, next....move him to the floor or cot and let him know he is now a big kid. on a cot, when it is wake up time you can go in and say to him..."time to get up, come out when you are ready".....he will if he wants to take part in the day!

The challenge with two year olds is that they swing between needing interdependence and needing independence ... aka sometimes they want to be 'big' and do it themselves and other times they still want to feel that they need you ... my guess would be that just upon waking it would be natural to want to be a little more interdependent ... I know when I wake up I like to snuggle my man for a bit before we get up ~ this behavior is likely no different he wants to be snuggled a bit as he wakes up and is motivated enough to just lay there until that need is met!

I have a few who when they wake up just want to come and sit on my lap on the couch ~ some of them are 4 and still needing that extra babying so to speak!