Should I just give in and serve the packaged stuff!?

As a family we eat fairly healthy, I try and make most things from scratch and avoid processed/packaged food! I made extras for dinner and serve for lunch, be it homemade Mac n cheese, quesadillas, roast, etc. My kids love everything I make and will pick it or fruit over a packaged cookie! But I have a daycare girl (who is 2) that won't eat my homemade items! I'm not a horrible cook haha ! Her Mom says she eats TONS at home but its hotdogs, Kraft dinner, granola bars, bear paws, etc. I don't want to serve those things here, or at least in moderation....I don't want my children eating like that either! But I am tired of her eating nothing and being whinny and hungry and having to throw out the food I spent time and energy to make. So should I just give on and serve her Kraft dinner when I serve my homemade stuff? I also make homemade spaghetti-o's that everyone loves and she won't touch them but would eat a whole can of the other stuff! Is it my responsibly to make sure she eats healthy here when her parents don't care to follow through at home? I post the menu but they never read it or ask....they wouldn't care if I said she are Kraft dinner everyday! So should I just give in and stop stressing about it?

This little one is lucky to have a caring provider as yourself who doesn't chose the easy route by offering packaged food. I would continue to serve her the same meals as the other children. To give in to her wants does not satify her need for nutricious food. She will learn that her hungry tummy is her responsibility to fill and your offerings are the only option and she has the encouragement of seeing the other kids eating their meals. Do not give in. Unfortunately it sounds like your daycare is the only one supplying the nutrients she needs.

I totally understand how frustrating it is to work so hard preparing healthy meals and have DCKs turn their nose up at it. I have the same issue every day with one as well (in fact I saw a picture on FB recently of that family @ Christmas dinner...all of their plates loaded full of great holiday food...this 3 year old (& his 10 year old sibling) had just Kraft Dinner in front of him). I have worked very hard and have actually gotten him to just try a bite of what's put in front of him, after which about 70% of the time he does eat it. Please please do not start offering her crap. It's our job to offer (tiny serving so it's not so painful to see being thrown out) healthy food, their job to actually eat it. IF you start making the processed stuff then the rest will want exactly what she's having...you so don't want that.
I would also be very honest with the family as to how much (or little) she's eaten.

Also wanted to add...for sure stop stressing about it. Kids often find food a good thing to exercise power over...so, once my daycare kids have tried a bite & decide they don't like I just whisk it away once the rest are one...no reaction whatsoever. Takes the stress off me for sure.

To try and reduce waste only put a very small amount in front of the child, also this may help her feel less overwhelmed by foods that she isn't eager to try. If there are just 2 or 3 small spoonfuls of food and you offer her a reward like stickers or a sticker chart then maybe this would be an incentive for her and an easy goal if there are only 2 mouthfuls to get down for that reward. You could gradually increase the amount once her tastebuds adjust to your foods. The foods at home are just multilayered fats, sugar, salt and artificial flavours. No matter how good your cooking is, and I'm sure its great, it will always taste bland in comparisson to all those highly processed foods. You will create an either bigger problem if you give in to her. She won't starve. Eventually she will eat. I had a child barely eat for a good 8-10 weeks. It was infuriating but I persisted and very slowly it got better. I did however ask the parents to keep a food diary for me for a week. I told them it was so I could see what she eats and make something she is familiar with but it was simply so I could get a true understanding of the crap they were feeding her. She was 14months old basically only having pureed chicken and baby cereal together 2 meals a day and was still on a good 4 bottles a day. No wonder she wouldn't eat.

It is not your job to make sure she eats. It is your job to offer her healthy food. My own children (now adults) sometimes tried to create a power struggle over food, but I never let them. Food should be fuel for the body and not a power struggle. I always offered healthy food, and I respected their right to choose not to eat sometimes. If they got hungry later, I was always happy to warm up the food they had chosen not to eat earlier. If they refused, I knew they were not hungry. They learned very quickly that there wouldn't be any other option. With my daycare children, I offer food. One of them will tell me she isn't hungry, but ask 20 minutes later for something else. Doesn't work. I really need mealtimes to be pleasant times, not times of stress for either me or the children. If they don't eat, they don't eat.

If you give her Kraft dinner then the others will want it .... Nope no way she would sit at the table till the food is gone.... Simple as that and when she sees the other kids off playing or having a story read to them and she's still sitting at the table eventually she'll get it. I would just give her a teaspoon of everything and that way if she doesn't eat then it's it a waste. I would also not give her the "dessert" after the lunch what ever it is ....fruit, cookie, muffin, and tell her when she eats the food she gets the treat. I would never make a separate meal .

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But I have a daycare girl (who is 2) that won't eat my homemade items! I'm not a horrible cook haha ! Her Mom says she eats TONS at home but its hotdogs, Kraft dinner, granola bars, bear paws, etc. I don't want to serve those things here, or at least in moderation...

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I have a brother and sister that are the same here. The sister who is 4 is worse. Keep serving what you are and eventually the girl will eat.

Yesterday, I made Whole wheat carrot cake pancakes, the boy ate everything I gave him and she ate a whole pancake. It is the most either one of them have eaten since they started at the beginning of the month.

Like treeholm, I don't stress about what they eat, the kid either eat at the set mealtimes or they don't and are asked not to complain, they will learn eventually.

I agree with the others. AbsoLUTEly don't give in to her. She what's served, or she doesn't. Her choice. Do not give her the power of deciding! And if she wants dessert (usually a fruit or other healthy option) she'll finish what she's given. If you're worried about waste, as the others said start with very small portions.

Why should she have that kind of power to determine what you serve. No way!

I do the same. Daycare lunches are our leftover dinners. I find it easiest that way.

Hi,

Can I have your homemade spagettio recipe?. DD keeps asking for it at the store and I refused as its loaded with sodium and other crap.

I don't serve leftovers as my DH takes the leftovers to work as his lunch. I do have some extremely picky eaters, 3 infact and I do make boxed mac and cheese from time to time. With that said I serve Annies white cheddar Pasta as it makes me feel a bit better. http://www.annies.com/products/

I also serve turkey sausage instead of hotdogs once and a while.

The only left overs that we usually have is turkey or chicken breast & I usually make quesadillas, chicken alfredo or chicken salad.

You are doing a good job of feeding the kids well and healthy, don't lower your standards for one picky child....just keep serving her what the others are eating and don't get upset. She will def not die if she doesn't eat lunch every day, and the stress you feel is def the hardest part, just let go and let her be hungry if she won't eat the healthy food you offer. I have asked parents if they would like to provide the meals for kid with "picky" attitudes at the table, but to be quite honest, sometimes that just causes more grief on your part. I would continue to offer her the same foods as the rest and if she goes without lunch, snack time is right around the corner.....the only thing I would do is give her very little to start, that way when she doesn;t eat the food, you won't be as upset having to throw it away! ;)

I have a very determined 2 y/o picky eater as well. I used to allow it to frustrate me to no end and i did exactly what the others are saying and that is give very small portion, lots of praise when she does eat but I dont reward her for eating other than giving praise.

some days she eats some day not. I also serve alot of leftovers as well as home made stuff. very rare that i used processed or boxed food. If she doesnt eat at lunch, i warm it for her snack. If she eats it then, she gets her snack as well.

Definitely don't give in! I am with the others. I serve what I serve and if they don't eat, that's their problem. I have a 16 month old who never eats lunch...he just sits and looks at it...unless it's bread or cheese or a couple of other things. He does the same at home. I just serve him one tiny spoonful of each thing and hope that one day he will eat. You cannot force a child to eat and I absolutely refuse to serve junk food. I also have a 3 year old who is picky, but she has become much better over the 4 months she's been with me. She's really funny because she will try something and say "It's good!" and then I will ask her if she's going to eat it and she just smiles and says "no" :laugh: At least she's polite :)

I also started to include my picker eater in preping meals...even if it is just a taste as I am making it. They all want to see and taste and explore. If you can get her to just taste a few times she will realise it is yummy. One of my picky eater did not even try the food and went down from lunch whitout even a bite. It was so frustrating, but now he still does not eat much but he does TRY and will eat now things that he refused before. That's almost after 6 months of determination on my part ;0) But like the others I do not offer alternatives.

Love these responses! Thanks so much everyone! I will post my homemade spaghetti-o's recipe tonight in a new thread, for the lady that asked and anyone else interested!

Here's an example for you. I had a little girl here for 3 1/2 years and her Mom fed her things like canned spaghetti but I cook from scratch only with very few prepackaged foods. Lots of fresh veggies and fruit, protein like chicken breasts, pork tenderloin, roast beef, great quality food. My little dcgirl told her Mom after a few years here that she wanted her to learn to cook like me. :o the moral of the story is that you should keep doing what you are doing and putting the children on the right road in life to recognize fresh, home cooked food as opposed to prepackaged crap!

I have been there too. The parent told me her daughter was not a picky eater, however she doesn't seem to like anything I make. I will not make separate meals for kids, so since she is part time it isn't as hard for me. I know now what she likes, so I tend to make more of those things for lunch when she come. As for snacks, my snacks consist of a few items, so there is always something she likes on her snack plate.

So don't give in. I found some of the things she thought she didn't like, liked once she tried it.