Pick up disaster

I have a dcb who is great all day with me, listens well but the minute mom steps on to pickup, wow!!! He turns into a little crazy hooligan while she waits at the door and does nothing to calm him down. He gets so upset and runs off to the point that I can't even control him and wonder why the heck mom doesn't just grab him and take him home!!! What do I do? She doesn't see it as an issue, just thinks he is being silly meanwhile I want to just say "take your kid and leave already" it makes me look bad as a provider because I honestly cannot control this child because he goes nuts!!!! Help

I have a few like this from time to time and it must be his age. He sounds like he's 2 to 2 1/2?
If you can try having him dressed before Mom comes to the door. Does she come close to the same time every night?

I had one today that was on and off challenging with her behaviour, throwing toys for attention, yelling at me for attention, then when Mom came she was just as challenging for her. The only good thing was at least her Mom go to see what I had to deal with. It does make you feel like the parents are wondering why is little Susie behaving like this?

It's so hard on them to be away from there parents that all those bottled up emotions come rushing out when they see their mom's.

does mom come everyday at the same time? if yes then have him ready at the door with his gear on and plunk him on a chair to wait and when she comes in ...say " jonnys all ready you guys have a nice night." that's the cue to leave. or just have the parent text you when they are 5 mins out. I have a gate at my entrance way so they cant get back to the playroom once they are beyond the gate. I have one little guy who doesn't like to put his coat on for mom and so when she is about to turn on my street she texts me and I get him ready ....so when she comes in he is happy to see her instead of a fight because I have no problem getting his outdoor wear on. most of my kids don't want to leave and instead want to show mom or dad EVERYTHING they played with that day so it is much easier to have that gate so that there is the point of no return.

Agree that this is a good idea but the prob is that mom thinks he is just being silly and there's no real issue. When he goes bonkers, she just stands there not doing anything. If that were my child, I would grab them, put their gear on and away we go!! The very idea of me getting him ready would throw her off and she would think I'm being rude! Trust me, this is a very 'special' type of mom!!!!!! Arghhh

What about getting daycare boy to say he is surprising her to show her how big a boy he is?

Oh I feel your pain! It is really hard when a parent thinks the behviour is normal and fine and we see it as totally inacceptable. I have one like that too.I have no advice, only empathy!

Not fun!

Is there a way to put a gate up at your door? My parents come down to my basement to drop off and pick up. There is a gate across my playroom entry separating it from the area where coats are hanging. After I buzz the parent in, they come down and I lift their kid over the gate and the parent gets them ready....no where to run! I can stand on my side of the gate and chat with parents but they are in charge of their child.

We know this behaviour from dck is common. When one of my dck starts these antics, I will have a chat with them just before pick up to remind them how they are expected to behave and I say this in a stern voice with eye contact. This always helps though if they start the misbehaviour then I give them the stern eye contact as a reminder of our chat. I also when I can, have them partially dressed for the trip home.
As for Mom, I would hand her dck's coat and tell him mommy will put this on and then back off and let her deal with him while I attend to the other kids or just tidy up. Message clear - he is your problem now.

Yes I think what homeschool mom said .... Start a dialogue with mom saying that since Johnny is having a difficult time at pick up you will get him ready beforehand so that when she arrives he is excited to see her and head home..... That way it's something she will expect and will not translate as rude.

I had the most rude 3 y.o. girl at my daycare for 6 months. She was soooo rude to her parents at arrival and departure. During the day with me, it was 85% attitude. I tried some advice I got, telling her to give daddy a big hug when he gets here and the first time it worked, but she was still being silly and not listening. I told myself hey its a first try. Well I didnt get many other tries, the next morning, tried to ''intervene'' when mom dropped her in as she was being so rude with her mother. The little brat started crying, it turned into a argument with the mother and me and how I was just trying something new and positive, result : mom gave me her notice on the spot !!!

Now I just let them do their thing and I keep on doing my things to get ready to close. But lucky me, my entrance and kitchen have a little door that separate the space and also my kitchen to playroom. So once parents get here, they wait in the entrance, I bring the child (or they walk to them) and then I close the door. Sometimes the kids want hugs and I say ''Only when you finish getting dressed'' :P

If I do intervene I do it with the child with the idea of "excuse me but that is not the way we act when we are at ms Sharon's house. We use our manners" then leave it at that. Child has been warned, parent too in a way that what is going on isn't acceptable and to do something.

I've only had one boy like that and he went through phases of tantrums at dropoff and pickup but he was awesome for me all day long. So I named him my Jeckyll & Hyde boy. I was constantly trying to get him under control, but part of the problem was that his Mom liked to chat for a while and the longer she talked the more he wanted her undivided attention and freaked out!

I learned a trick about pickups though, getting the child ready to go and excited to see their parent and in the mindset of going home to see their parents so they were calm about leaving daycare and ending their day.