The new kid!

Have a new one starting today. He is almost 2 and I wondered during the interview if he had a developmental delay, there is definitely some speech delays. He seems to be adjusting really well for never being in daycare. He seems to connect well with my 14 mos old, not so much the 3 year olds. It has become clear however that everything is done for him at home. When it came to getting dressed he just stood there waiting for me to do it for him and eating was a challenge as well. I just left the food in front of him and some stuff made it in his mouth. I offered to help him (won't be a regular thing just wanted a sense if he "could" feed himself or if he just wasn't eating because it's a new place, different food etc plus it was a tricky food, chilli) but he refused. He sleeps in a big bed at home so I tried a cot, it was a no go so I put him in a PNP and he cried for 15 mins then went to sleep, pretty good. I think mom is going to need a lot of support as he hasn't been napping at home and won't go to bed until 9:30 pm! He is quickly learning the expectations here (played with his food/dumping it, took another kid's food so lunch was over for him).

Maybe it's just because I have girls or maybe because he has been coddled but he just seems really behind in a lot of ways. I guess I'll see as time goes by.

Spoke too soon. As I was typing this he started crying/screaming. Like really screaming! Turns out he wasn't asleep, just had stopped crying. I feel so bad for the 3 y o down there trying to nap. Just layed him down again and he is now doing a high pitched scream. Pretty horrible.

Argh transitions

I have the exact scenario. My dcb is almost 20 mths and can't do anything for himself. Same thoughts on this one where mommy must do everything for him. I hand him a spoon and he looks at me like a deer in headlights! I try putting on his boots and thought it was natural reaction to push your foot into the shoe but nope!! Same with putting jacket on, instead of giving me his arm, he lifts his foot up or just stands there. Very frustrating and just don't get why mom keeps him in 'baby Zone' instead of encouraging development and independence. That being said, the other dck bulldoze him in a way because he simply doesn't react if someone takes his toy away or gets in his space. Just makes for a lot of hands on/intervening because I almost feel sorry for him. His vocabulary consists of about 5 words and the rest is either sign language (I totally am against signing as I feel it delays speech) and or mumbling. If it were my child, I would be a bit concerned but it's not so not my place to say anything. Mom is obviously ok with his development and makes comments about all the wonderful progress she 'thinks' he is making at home!!! Yikes, I feel like shedding some light on her as truth of the matter is he is with me 80% of the time (when awake). I guess you just have to go along with it and hope that they learn through a stimulating environment and other dc kids.

Mambia can I ask why you think sign language delays speech? I have always incorporated sign into my programming and my daycare kids are all on track speech wise. I find it absolutely wonderful that they can sign more, milk sleep etc before they are developmentally able to speak. It takes away all that wonderful screaming when they want something and don't have the words yet to tell you. The school boards even use sign to help children along. When I sign to a child, I always verbally say the words too so that they are hearing them over and over as well.

It's interesting to hear the different perspectives. I know signing is encouraged however maybe it is just coincidence, but every child that I know that did signing with their parent spoke less often and later then other children. It may just be in the way it is presented by the parent. Perhaps the parents take the sign as the child's answer and don't follow up with the word like you Michelle. Who knows. I didn't sign with either of my children and they were both early talkers. Their grunts were always followed up by me with "use your words" and then I would say the word and they would try to repeat it to get what they want. You would be amazed what my 14 mos old can tell me verbally.

I had the same experience as torontokids with the sign. It defeated the teachings we normally give kids in the sense of just standing there and pointing and grunting does not get you the toy off the shelf. But just standing there and make a "gesture" with the fingers and they expect the toy - um no - over a certain age - you use your words. At minimum make a grunt or some other verbal sound that shows me that you have made the connection between verbal words and communication.

I've had a few people say they hate signing so I just wanted to see why they feel that way. It is interesting. maybe I'm just lucky that I've had luck using it and my daycare kiddos still use words. I refuse to answer to grunting and the phrase 'use your words' should just be recorded and put on repeat in my house lol. Both my children were early talkers too but they also both signed until they had words. I hate when kids scream to ask/get something. That drives me nuts. I would rather they sign it but I also encourage verbal words along with it.

If they are just signing and not speaking to their child then for sure it will delay speech as the child knows they will get what they want/need just using sign. Generally, my daycare kids use both. They will sign for more at lunch and then say more :) I was one of those moms that talked to my kids all the time ( I do it with the daycare kids too). When we had lunch I always talked about what we were having and what colour and shape the food was. Bath time we talked about bubbles and splashing and body parts lol. I used to have people glare at me at restaurants because I talked to my kids all through the meal

I'm a firm believer that talking to children is huge. Not baby talk either or 'fake' names for things like bubba for bottle. I can't stand baby talk and refuse to use it with the daycare kids. I ask them if they would like milk in their bottle/cup. We talk about the grass, the trees, the clouds on our walks etc. Its amazing how much they take in and understand :)

I have had a few kids whose parents used sign language and found it had no relation to how early/well they talked. I have one 17 month old who is an amazing talker and he also has some signs and will use them while talking...it hasn't hindered his speaking at all. I have another recently turned 2 year old who is only now starting to speak a bit and I wish I had started using signs with him eary on so he could have at least communicated some things. He is also behind in many ways, but parents coddle him, so it could be that or simply genetics...some kids do things earlier than others. He is progressing, so I think he will get there in his own way.

I have a 26 month old dcg. Very smart girl. Her parents still sign with her so she trys that here. Her verbal skills are so poor. She will just grunt for the affirmative and shake her head no for the negative. I have had her for a year and always ask her to say the words I repeat to her and she does that only when asked. I think her problem is the parental signing at this age. They think her gruntal answers are cute.

I. Hate. Transitions. Ugh. I feel your pain :(

I had the exact same dcb as you described. He's been with me for 4 months and he's made great inroads. Sounds like he needs much socialization with his peers.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by torontokids

It's interesting to hear the different perspectives. I know signing is encouraged however maybe it is just coincidence, but every child that I know that did signing with their parent spoke less often and later then other children. It may just be in the way it is presented by the parent. Perhaps the parents take the sign as the child's answer and don't follow up with the word like you Michelle. Who knows. I didn't sign with either of my children and they were both early talkers. Their grunts were always followed up by me with "use your words" and then I would say the word and they would try to repeat it to get what they want. You would be amazed what my 14 mos old can tell me verbally.

---

I too agree with you. I don't do sign language here either. I talk to them all day so really there isn't no need for sign language.

I personally don't encourage signing because with each child that I have witnessed parents teaching sign language, it just so happened that none of them used their words, just signed! If they follow their sign with the word or atleaat try to say it then that's fine, however in my case, there is just signing, absolutely no effort to say the word and I think at the age of 2, this is a bit concerning (IMO). I even observed this dcmom while her child signed, she made no effort to say the word nor encourage him to speak. I'm sure it's a wonderful thing when uses by lil ones who do not speak but I'm all about using your words here. I will not accept a grunt if they want a toy or a head shake if they don't want something! After all, I feel my role as a provider is to help them grow and develop.

I agree with the signing ... I don't do it .... I too find it delays speach .