Thanks everyone!
Thanks everyone!
You have to be happy with what you're doing. If there's a child you don't particularly LOVE, then I would equate that with like having a coworker that you have to put up with as opposed to one that you work well with, but if this child is disrupting everyone, and is making you dread your days, it's likely time to evaluate the situation more deeply.
I recently had to make the very difficult decison to terminate, and I have to say that even though I really do miss the little guy, our daycare is one hundred times happier and stress free with my new family here.
Good luck.
Thanks everyone!
I'm with Alpha! I terminated at the same time as her for similar reasons to what you described. I was a stress ball every day...dreaded teh bell ringing in the morning when I knew it was this child's time to arrive...literally felt my blood pressure rise as they entered the house. I terminated after 6 months of trying everything I could possibly think of and trying to work with the parents. Now my daycare is peaceful (well...was until my new dcg started throwing some curves at me last week...but that's another story...LOL.)
sunny, not to threadjack,but you're doing a lot better too? I have gone back to LOVING my job instead of waking up with my stomach in knots. I would seriously cry when I knew the family was coming.
So happy you're doing so well!
Daycare123, it sounds like you have to give this some more thought. If you're still enjoying him and are willing to work through it, termination might not be the right choice for you -yet. I urge you though to try and make the decision to terminate BEFORE you get to the point that sunny and I got to, because it was affecting my family by that point. No good. :(
Thanks Everyone!
Daycare123 I will pm you.
If the child was fine in the recent past and this is something new no matter how annoying it is then you could take the risk that it is just a phase that is very common to toddlers who suddenlly realize they have choices and wait it out. Personally I don't bother with time out for a tantrum because it just makes it worse. I tell them to knock it off in toddler terms of course and/or put them into bed - if they are going to scream they can do it from another room where the sound won't damage our ears. Often the child is overtired and the break/rest does them a world of good.
Having said that it doesn't work with all kids and how long the issue has been going on may mean a different course of action. If the child is being disruptive to the day such that no one can enjoy it then you have an obligation to the other families to terminate the "problem" child. When you look at it in those terms it isn't you giving up it is about the well being of the other children in care. As a side benefit to the other children being happier - you will be happier and more relaxed too.
Yes Alpha! I cuold not believe how calm, quiet and peaceful my days were once that one child was gone! My new dcg ended up starting early (was originally going to start in June) and first week with her was great. Now I am having some problems and not so sure. One thing I know is that this time I will NOT wait for six months to terminate. I was exactly like you...it was to the point of effecting my health and my family. I have vowed to myself that I will never let it get to that point again!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alphaghetti
Thanks Everyone!
You said the tantrums are when he won't listen to you. Think about what you are asking him to do and make sure that you aren't asking for something he sees as too difficult or something that means a quick shift in focus. Also toddlers don't get it when we say general things like clean up. When we have older kids in care they know what that means but I sure know what it is like on days I have jut the toddlers and say clean up and they just look at me and stare. They were just following the older kids and not understanding why. It means I have to go specifically with them, help them and lead the process meaning handing the child the bin and putting in a block or too and then asking him if he can find more blocks for your bucket. Takes forever but is less stressful and turns clean up into learning with sorting and interacting......And then I vow to myself to remove some of the toys for the next day so there are less blocks or cars or whatever to be picked up thinking it will mean less mess and then never do it.
As with anything pick your battles. If child tantrums over everything then maybe terminating is a good idea as that is too many problems to work with for a quick resolve. If it only involves some things like transitions (cleaning up is a transition from play to what comes next), or over meals, or going outside or some of the other complaints other providers have posted in the past then maybe you can find a way to make that aspect of daycare less of an issue.
Thanks Everyone!
Playfelt, as always, has great advice :) Also, I think it depends on how the parents are dealing with it. Are they working with you to try to curb the behaviour or do they just find it normal and acceptable. This was what happened with the dcb I terminated recently...I thought the parents were working on things until it became extremely clear that they didn't see anything wrong with him screaming at them every day, kicking and hitting them etc (he was 2.5). That is when I realized I was never going to get anywhere. If the parents are really working on it, he might get out of the phase fairly quickly and you will be okay.
the only way to fix it is to make him your shadow and you need to direct him to good behavior. It works trust me, its not going to work right away but once they discover that you are on them like glue they'll get it.
but I did have a child I did term. i stuck it out for almost a year. Every day saying that its going to be a good day, this child was the only one, who colored every where, bit the other kids, pullied thier hair, stole their toys and the last straw was that she was jumping on the other kids and trying to choke them. I discussed with the parents several times and got no one. When she left it was like a hundred pound boulder lifted from my home. The kids started to relax and play so well. Not one of the kids ever asked where the child was, I should have did it sooner.