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I know a lot of providers say they prefer to start kids right at 12 months or even younger so they can adjust easier, etc. I am wondering though, is there a particular age that you ladies think is the worst/most difficult age for a child to start daycare (or a new daycare for that matter)? Just curious because I only have two years of experience and it's not long enough to know whether I am seeing a pattern or if it is simply random chance ;)
I am new as you know so I don't have enough experience to even comment but it seems to me to be so individual to the child. My 3 yo who had never been in daycare and didn't nap was a lot of work but now he is amazing. My 2 yo is also new to me and daycare and his days are great, still working on napping though.
I find that around the age of 18 months is the worse time to start them. Thats just my expetience though, any other age they seem to adjust more quickly!
Actually 12 months is the worst. Taking a child who is in an excellerated period of development and then taking away their stable base is not a good thing. At 12 months they are cutting first year molars along with other teeth, learning to walk, feed themselves, use a cup, becoming less dependent on mom but with that independence comes the need to know that they are still there. One of the reasons we have so many tears.
Start a child at 4-5 months or 7-8 months and see just what a difference there is once that child reaches 12 months because now your house is normal to them too and they have the base to work from.
For any child that is coming from another care situation which is common when taking an older child or an older child that has never been in care and must go through the establishing a base/rapport again there will be problems for them adjusting.
I started with mixed ages, but I later found out that for me it was easier to start with babies. Currently I accept as young as 6mos. They get to be great eaters (even if they started about 12 mos and being a somehow picky)... Potty training is easier for me, too. They learnt to wait for the turn at young age and that has helped me a lot to do not go nuts later =)... I like older kids too. They are fun and you can do so much with them, but for me it has taken more work (eating well, potty, behavior, etc)...
So Playfelt, given that we normally only get 12 months and up kids (although I did have one start at 9 months and boy was he a dream! Never cried once at drop-off!), if you had to choose a child to fill a space with and had the choice of 12 months, 2 years, or 3 years...which would it be? I ask because I have two spaces for August...one is filled now with a 12 month old and I am really going back and forth on what age to fill the other space with. I would ideally like a 3 year old to play with my daughter as her friend will be leaving...but what I seem to get in terms of interest are 12 months or just turned 2. I just started a just turned 2 girl and it has been a bit bumpy...starting to wonder if this is a terrible age to start a child as I had this same experience awhile back!
For sure I would take a 12 month old so I can train them up my way instead of having to undue someone else's training. But I started in daycare many years ago when maternity leave was only 6 months long and women were discouraged from working right up to term and often had the last month off meaning I took kids into care at 4 months old. All the babies cared about was that they were fed, had a comfy place to sleep and the odd cuddle. By the time they were learning to do things they were seeing older kids and we rarely had a child reach a year without being fully off the bottle and on a cup at least during daycare hours, no issues with going down for a nap, on table foods only, etc. - all of the things we are now starting at 12-14 months to do with the kids. They learned to talk and had vocabularies at a year that would put many 18 month olds now to shame. Kids aren't any different now than they were 10-15 years ago but the problem is no one has taken on the task of teaching parents what to do once the first 6 months is up so they just maintain the status quo instead of letting the child learn in those 6 months what they would have learned in daycare.
In terms of deciding on an age remember that the 2 year old you have now will be closer to 3 by Fall and will play fine with your daughter - let her be the big one for awhile is ok too to learn leadership skills. If you can get another 2 year old for the summer would it be an issue of the other two so used to each other that they wouldn't accept the new child. Also do you have any in the 18 month range now that will be 2 by Fall and ready to hang out with the big kids. Will there be another baby of sorts for the new one to grow up with or do you need to take on what will become the first baby's new bet friend.
It has nothing to do with age kids, that are secure and have been exposed to many different people and situations do the best at adjusting. Parents that constantly pick up there kids for every little thing and engage all there play etc... Have kids that just can't go with the flow.
When my DD was 11 months and she started daycare she became very clingy after a few weeks and I couldn't get anything done all she wanted was "up". I called my daycare provider and found out that she was being constantly carried and coddled like a doll. She was the youngest and everyone wanted to hold her and hug her,I asked for her to please stop as my very secure 12 month old wouldn't let me out of her sight. After a few weeks she was back to normal.
It's all about balance!
I had a Mom come for a play date to see if my daycare was for her and her 14 month old was within an arms reach of her at all times. Her DD fell on my playmates and the Mom freaked out
Of course the baby cried. After they left I sent her an email that said thanks for coming but I didn't feel we were a good match. NEXT was all I was thinking!
I have 2 18 month olds who will be 2 in the fall, but one is leaving I just found out. Then I have two just turned 2 year olds who will be 2 1/2 and then my daughter will soon be 3 and her 3 year old friend is leaving for school. I had them in nice age pairs...so I am trying to decide whether to take another baby to match with the other new baby or take a 2 year old (I have a family interested) who will match with the other little boy who is going to be 2 (they are exactly the same age) or hold out for a 3 year old...which may or may not materialize! I think my concern with the 2 year old is that then I will have 4 two year olds...which means if they all stay they will all leave for school at the same time. Plus, the 2 year old has been home with mom until then...so I'm a bit concerned that he will have a hard time adjusting. I really love the 3 year olds...you can do so much with them...but it's true, eventually my current 2 year olds will be 3...if they don't go off on mat leave with their moms...sigh.
From my experiance you need to go with the child that is the better fit over all. I used to go by age so all children have playmates etc... but the most secure child is always a quick transition and will adjust to your group best as a whole. Go with your gut instinct not your heart!
It depends on the child and on the parents. I've had older children come in who worked out fantastic but others who had learned some really bad habits already. I've had the happiest babies come in and be happy from day one and others who took months to transition.
Basically, it all depends on the kind of parents you deal with. If the parents are on your side and will listen to your suggestions to help their child learn to adapt to daycare life the child will fit in quickly. Some of them think we are trying to tell them how to parent or something. Why can't they understand that the 3 of us, parents and caregiver have the same goal? Happy, healthy children?