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Hey ladies!
Just wondering off hand. How many of you give warnings to the kids? how many until a timeout? Or do you just put them into timeout if they keep offending the same offence?
Just getting sick of repeating myself for the same things and I'm just feeling like they just don't respect me anymore.
Thanks in advance
If it is a timeout worthy offense then they get one warning then if it continues they go on time out. If they hit or shove someone, they get no warnings and straight to time out. They catch on pretty quickly this way and you don't have to keep repeating yourself.
Well, I give warnings for things like "In five minutes we will be leaving the park", but try to avoid getting into "If you do that you will have a time-out" as it is more a threat than a warning. I don't use time-outs often...really only as a last resort for particularly defiant, aggressive type behaviour. I try my best to use logial consequences such as removing a toy, having a child apologize, removing a child from the couch if they don't sit, etc. I also try to use a lot of positive reinforcement when they do something good. That said, if they know that they shouldn't do something and do it anyway, I would move straight to the consequence, whatever that conequence is going to be.
I give a 3 count, that's my warning. Most of my kids stop by 2 because they've learned that once I get to 3 I follow through. As for something like hitting, it's an instant time out. But I'm with Sunnydays, I try not to overuse the time outs.
I do the same thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by JennJubie
Yeah, I use 1,2,3 Magic as well and don't use time outs a ton but when I do they look like how I posted above.
I give three warnings usually, however this weekend I overheard a fellow mommy say to her kids "I've got a pocket full of time-outs and I'm ready to start handing them out!!" ....thinking I may try that one sometime!
it depends what the act is.
Anything agressive doesn't get a warning, they get seperated and spend time directly with me.
If they're climbing or doing something that could endanger themselves or other, same dea
My dcks know what they are not supposed to do so no I do not give warnings. To me that's like teaching a kid its ok to do it once or twice before you get in trouble .... That's ridiculous !
I don't give warnings or count, I simply tell the children not to do something if tit is unacceptable. I use my stern voice and face and instead of using the word No, I use words like, We don't do that, or Don't take your friend's toy, or Stop It Now! I also don't like to send any messages that it's ok to push their limits or their luck with me, there is just wrong and right, acceptable and unacceptable and if it's something they shouldn't be doing they must stop immediately.
I use 123 magic and for anything aggressive like hitting automatic time out.
P.S I'm not afraid to use the word "no" kids understand fully what it means.
I don't like the insinuation that people that are using warnings are being pushovers. Kids are not robots and they make mistakes. Yes, they know what is expected of them in my program for the most part but they are also impulsive at this age and do things without realizing at times. You can see when a child does something impulsively and stops themselves with a look of "what did I just do?" Those are genuine moments of learning and I don't agree with disciplining them with more then a warning as they have realized their error themselves and don't need to be given a timeout (unless for an aggressive act as I have zero tolerance for this). Also using 123 Magic is more about encouraging them to make the right choices and think for themselves e.g. instead of harping on them to get their shoes on or expecting them to run at your beck and call, count them in and they are empowered to make the right choice.
Ok what kind of warning are we talking ????? are we talking about asking a child to do something like clean up their toys or put their shoes on or are we talking about a child who takes someone's toy or throws sand at their friend ...... Totally different ..... I never count .... And when we clean up or go outside we all do it together so everyone is onboard .... If they take toys throw sand push ect the consequence is instant. No chances no warnings !
The younger the child the more warnings but the warning is not so much in the true sense as it is in reminding the child of the rule and yes younger children often need to be reminded more often because they forget what is not immediately used and are only learning that what applied yesterday applies to today too.
It is also about attitude in the child to me too and the temperament of each child. Some are so laid back they honestly don't remember or are so busy and impulsive it doesn't register with them. Anyone no matter what age that shows defiance when told no suffers worse consequences than the child that shows they are oops sorry attitude and yes I can tell the difference.
I think offences are divided into categories. Group one gets several warnings/reminders. Group two gets one warning and group three immediate consequence. Rules such as not hurting your friends are dealt with immediately regardless of age, reason, etc. as compared to forgetting to put away one toy before getting out another. One issue I often see in providers having trouble with discipline is they treat minor and major offences the same believing that they need to be consistent for the sake of the child. After awhile the kids just don't care as time outs become so commonplace it is viewed as just a normal part of playing which compounds the problem because now the provider gets annoyed because the children don't show any emotions akin to being sorry.
Crayola - Even though I do the 123 warnings for bad behavior, reading your post put a whole different light on it for me....it really doesn't make sense to give warnings when they already know that they shouldn't be doing something that warrants a time out. Wish Id learnt that sooner ! Thanks for the very useful post! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Crayola kiddies
I completely agree witih Crayola. I raised 4 children of my own and I know for a fact that children will push their limits if you let them. So my practice is to teach children that when I say something I mean it and they have to do it or stop doing it.
As far as cleaning up or trying to complete a task, no I don't expect them to be robots and we work together to get things done. But I don't give warnings when they must stop doing something wrong, I expect them to stop immediately when I say stop. When I ask them to do something and they are distracted I'll say it again, no problem, but there is a huge spectrum here!
Thanks guys .... I have 5 of my own and I'm telling ya I wish I knew with the first what I know now .... But truely it's a learning process and every child is different but they are also all the same ... They thrive on consistency and scheduling .... That's really what we do all day ....
Now with my own kids they have learned to tune me out and so when I ask them to do something like put on their pjs or come for dinner and when they don't move or even acknowledge me in ten seconds I say "one" in a louder voice and their feet hit the ground running cause they know if I say two the shit hits the fan .... I have to be the disclipinarian in my house because hubby doesn't seem to be able to find his big boy panties. For my daycare kids ... Well they know the routine cause we do the same thing every day so they know what comes next and they are ready. I never have to count but I have one 18 month old that is testing the boundaries .... Takes toys, pushes, tackles, shoves off chairs and I say "no don't (whatever he's doing) and when he ignores me he is removed instantly. It'll come eventually!
I had a daycare dad tell me one morning that he was having a tough time with his three yr old listening in the am so they are starting the three strike rule.... I just looked at him in disbelief .... He questioned me and I said well its your child so you need to decide what's best but to me all that's teaching him is you can do it twice before your going to do anything about it... He just said " huh!" I'm sure he thought about that on the commute to work and I'm not sure how they proceeded it I never heard about the three strike rule again from them.
Two warnings, go to timeout. If they act up at the park, they sit on the bench until we're ready to leave. If two kids are fighting over a toy, they're asked to stop once. If they still continue, it's put up until the end of the day and neither one gets to play with it. If it's shoving or more aggressive, it's instant. Safety before anything else.
For myself I don't count, never have. If they are fighting, taking a toy from another, standing on furniture or generally not following a daycare rule they are told that they are not allowed to do it and to stop. Usually they listen. The odd time I will get a attitude filled NO and it will be an instant time out. No back talking allowed! Any kids hitting or pushing get an instant time out.
When we get dressed to go out there are usually no issues as we are all doing it together. When it is clean up time if the older ones aren't cooperating they are given a warning that if they don't get cleaning up they will be cleaning up alone while everyone else gets to sit down. I have had to do that a few times and it isn't long until they realize clean up time means clean up time.
It totally depends on the situation and honestly, the child too. I have a guideline of rules and consequences but I firmly believe that sometimes you can not parent or provide care for all the children the same. For some children time outs work, for others taking a toy works better, for others they might be made to be last etc etc etc.
If it's an aggressive behaviour than it's an automatic time out and explanation of why we don't do that. I don't normally put children under 2 in time out, if they are this young and being aggressive than their time out is with me directly.
If it's doing something that I don't allow and they are a newer child or younger child they will likely get a couple warnings and the reason why we don't do it. If it's an older child or a child that has been here long and knows the rules than they get one warning(a reminder) and if it continues they are made to stop the behaviour or put the toy away.
I agree with the poster who said children are impulsive and they do sometimes forget in the heat of the moment or play activity. Yesterday, one of my 2 year old's hit another 2 year old in the face because she took her toy and almost instantly was saying "sorry, sorry, you okay?" She hit her out of frustration and I understood that. She still got a time out though but it would have been a much longer one had it been because she was being mean. Does that make sense? I know some won't agree with me though lol.
I do the counting to 3 if they are not following direction (clean up, time to go outside, put away art, come for diaper change etc). They all know that if I get to 3 there is a consequence. The consequence depends on what we are doing and what they are doing. If they are not listening for example and playing with toys than the toy is taken away.
Yup. Completely what the post above me says. :)
Thank you so much for this! I was reading your comment about clean up time and it's like a lightbulb went off! I have been having quite a few issues with a two specific dhk regarding clean up and I think this may be the answer! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by mickyc
As for warnings, I try to give 1 warning and then a consequence, the younger children usually get 2 warnings. But as most, anything aggressive or back-talking is an immediate time out.