Stressed....

So... I'm not sure what to do... Debating about closing my day home :( The last 3 weeks I don't know what happened, but I have lost the spark. I cannot stand anymore the constant screaming, running, not listening, purposefully destroying my house! We have rules and they are inforced each and every day! Also as of late the parents seem so slack about their childrens behaviours and coming to be with insane expectations.. Also I guess I going a little story crazy as I have time to do nothing or get out of the house except to the park. I usually have kids mon-Fri with two kids every other Saturday. I almost feel burnt out. I look around and see the toys and am like let's pack them up. I feel horrible to feel this way as each of the kids have a special spot with me and I'd miss them. (A little background)( I am a Licensed Practical Nurse and decided to try something different, we do not have kids of our own but I have always loved kids. We have been one of the unlucky couples that suffer from infertility. I don't know if all of this is bugging me due to the fact that 3 of my day home moms are now pregnant and all they do is complain about their pregnancy and their children annoying them.). I have thought about closing end of June or wait till one of the moms start her mat leave mod August. My husband wants me to shut down end of June as he wants me to be complete done in September as we want to try IVF. I just feel bad to close and these parents hate me and have to look else where :( Also my husband will be gone away with work most of summer and I would like to visit him.. Just need some advice :(

Aw, sorry to hear you're feeling down :(

I know this job can be tough at times and it's definitely not for everyone. I found the first couple years difficult. I felt isolated and hadn't quite cut my teeth on the home daycare aspect of the profession. However, now 12 years into home daycare, I love it and find it to be the least stressful job of all. However, last year I did take a child on Saturdays as well and that was too much....kids all the freakin' time! Have you considered just letting your Saturday clients go? I found that having just 5 days on with 2 days for myself to look forward to was much easier. I too saw burn out on the horizon. Dropping the Saturdays helped immensely!

Sorry also to hear of your infertility. That's a shame and I hope the IVF goes well for you both. Is that something you can manage with a daycare? I have a friend who went through it and found it hard. I think it was more due to the mood swings and inconvenience of appointments though. I doubt the mothers complaining about their pregnancies and kids is meant to be intentionally insensitive. I know I complained at points in my pregnancies and continue to about my kids from time to time. It's natural and they probably look at you as a 'friend' of sorts :) But I can understand your frustration completely.

If shutting down is the best thing for you, then do that. However, I will say that it does get better with time and experience. If they're not listening to you or following rules, become a hard ass (like me)....and pick your battles. And most of all, just enjoy the kids. Get silly with them and try to enjoy things like you could be a kid too. Do things you want to do and let go of curriculum....just have fun! Whatever route you choose, I wish you all the luck in the world. Chin up :)

Thanks so much :) I have been a bit of a hard a$$ with the rules... I know the moms are not intentionally complaining. I have heard it gets easier. I didn't feel this way prior to my two new kids.. Perhaps they are the culprit? Time will tell.

Are they the weekend kids? Honestly, drop the weekends. It's not good for us to not have any down time. It made a (no exaggeration) massive improvement on my outlook. I've found too, that this time of year is beneficial. Our curriculum goes out the window. We might do a craft, but not often in the summer. Once nap is over, we're just outside for free play. I'll do a circle out there to keep in practice. Other than that, I might sit and blow bubbles, chase them around with a spray bottle of water, sing a couple songs, all pile up for a 'cuddle puddle', what have you.....but there's always a good chunk of time when I'm sitting on my butt having a cup of coffee while they play happily. It's pretty sweet! And after the heinously long winter, we've all earned a little frivolity ;)

Yes we have been spending as much time outside as possible or at the park when. It's quiet there, but I have to watch them constantly so they aren't hitting or biting each other.. Throwing rocks or climbing the play house trying to go over the fence! My Saturday kids are the easiest but I did give notice to them that I would not be taking them July/August.

Hitting or biting? Throwing rocks? I would terminate the problem kids and you will find that your entire outlook will change. Maybe it is a case of a couple of bad apples ruining it for everyone.

I would then have to terminate half my kids lol

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Originally Posted by Nurse

I would then have to terminate half my kids lol

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I have heard of that being done...LOL. Are the parents working with you on the behaviours? I have kids who occassionally go through a phase of hitting or the worst, biting, but it sounds like your whole group is acting out. How old are these kids? What kind of consequences do you give them for aggressive behaviour?

The problem kids are ages 3&4. Our consequences are time outs... Not playing with their favorite toys and no sticker at end of day... The parents say they are working on it, but I don't think so.. The one that bites and hits his mom says its bc he is jealous of the older kids and if he says sorry he means it....

You need to sit down and decide what us best for you and your husband. TTC can be difficult if your stressed, trust me I know. Do what's best for you, can you go back to nursing or do your need to recertify?

I can go back to nursing any time.. I just stuck in a rut I don't know if nursing is what I want to do I burnt myself out really bad with it :(

Get rid of the biter and then wait and see if that changes the dynamics.
Also go to Canadian tire and get a free standing pantry (or two) with doors and arrange your toys on the shelves and put child locks on the handles only open one each day and at the end if the day (or tidy up time) the toys are put away with tge kids doing most of the work and the doors are shut and you don't have to look at them. You wont always feel like your at work. If they are misbehaving they don't get to open a door and they only get to play with what's always out.... Book center, dolls, kitchen center , tool bench.... What ever you always have out.

So.. I have decided to keep the biter till first week of August as that is when I'm taking two weeks off and his mom goes on mat leave.. The other two kids that are stressing me out I have decided to terminate.. Now I'm trying to decide how much notice to give them.. My contract says 2weeks but I also don't want to be a b*tch... Hubby says end of June but I almost have anxiety thinking ill have them another full 4 weeks.

If your contract says two weeks, then that is all you need to give. Do you think they would worry about giving you more than two weeks of notice if they decided to pull the kids out? Not likely. Do what is best for you as that is all you can do!

If I want to be nice and give a longer notice I would give them till the end of June but let them know that that was the maximum date and that if they found care sooner they were free to leave with no notice. Normally they will be so angry they will take the first place they can find and get out of your way just to be mean.

So.. I made their last day June 19. The mom is like 19 of July.. I like no June.. She wasn't impressed..

It turns out I had to terminate immediately yesterday as the dad totally snapped n me for wanting to take a day off and I gave them a weeks notice!

Holy crap, good riddance to the screwball family. So sorry you had such a stressful week. Have a wonderful, restful weekend knowing that it is over. Best of luck in the new chapter in your life.