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So it looks like my husband and I will probably be separating in the near future. I would be the one moving out of the house (possibly this weenend as we haven't spoke two words to each other since Tuesday). How much notice would you give the families in your care? I would like to give at least a month, do you think this is enought time? Thanks
Why are you moving out? Your income is contingent on you staying there. Your husband needs to move. Do you have children? I have some suggestions if you're willing to listen.
:glomp::glomp::glomp :
We are going through something similar at my house. We are going to do counselling and try to see if we can learn to communicate, but counselling isn't a promise.
If you need an ear, to vent or to talk it out, please pm me.
Kelleyg19, I'm so sorry you're going through this with your spouse. You must be under so much stress and heartache right now. Hugs to you. :glomp:
I agree with Sandbox Sally, is the option of you staying in the home an option to you? But in terms of giving notice, I would say a month is plenty of time, especially if your contract only provides for the standard two weeks. It's considerate of you to think of your clients as well and try to minimize the impact on them, but you have to do what's best for you.
I am very sorry that this is happening to you. I have been there. Not fun.
I agree with the others though, your business is run from home and he needs to leave. Its possible these families may stay with you through this transition and your eventual move. I would give them all 1 months notice about your move.
So sorry to hear you are going through a rough time. It must be very difficult to keep smiling with the kids when you are going though emotional upheaval :( If it is not possible for whatever reason for you to be the one who stays in the house, is there any way you would be able to rent a place suitable for daycare (a townhouse maybe?) that is in the same area and then you could just move your daycare there? Also, please make sure you are sure this is what you want/need to do before telling your daycare families. Is there any way you and your husband might be able to work through things? Hugs to you...this is not a good place to be in :(
Do you want to close and move on from this marriage? If yes, then I would give one months notice to your dc families. If you don't want to close and yes to ending the marriage, I would stay in the home as you are still contributing to the family unit even if it is fractured and ask your spouse to leave. The marriage ending does not mean he has to lose his job right?
If you want this marriage to succeed, I would make a strong attempt at counseling. My first marriage broke up so I understand the stress and the pain you must be feeling. Even if the marriage does not survive, if I were you I would pursue counseling just for you then to help you deal and sort your feelings. I did, and I know I was able to move on much faster than if I hadn't spoken to a proffessional.
I send you hugs and wishs for you to have strength and wisdom in all the decisions you must have to make. Good luck hon:glomp:
Often when we are in this situation we make rash decisions based on emotion. I left my marital home without taking a thing out of my kitchen.
Stop and think rationally before you decide to pick up and move. My ex and I lived together for a year (on separate levels of the house) before I moved out. It was hard, but best for my kids and my pocket book at the time. There's a lot to be sorted out. You need time to do that.
If your marriage is going south start planning. You will regret leaving the home and your business behind.
I've been through it, it sucks! I wish you all the best.
Hello every one, first time in this forum, It is very hard to run a Daycare and at the same time run our family, our marriage, specially if your have children's but listen life can be very hard specially in situations like this, but you are not alone, you have a live person that LOVE YOU SO MUCH and that person God in the name of his son Jesus , I don't know you and I don't know your situation but Jesus is your answer turn to him he knows and for God in Jesus name his son you have the victory, the real happiness can from him is him that you need and he can fix your marriage , sick God first put him en the first place in your life before every one and then the rest, don't surrender TRUST IS HIS LOVE AND MERCY, he is waiting for you.
GOD BLESS IN JESUS NAME AMEN.
Kellyg19...soooo sorry to hear of your troubles. I've been there myself (many moons ago) and it's a bad time for you now. Believe me when I say that there will be a day when you feel better and life will be good again. I'm 13 years divorced now and blissfully single. You're at the scary part now, but just take it one day at a time:)
Why must you leave the home? Your income is contingent on you being there. Unless he wants to support you outright with spousal (and yup, he'd probably be ruled to do so if your livelihood was cut short because you HAD to move), would it not be better for everyone if he left? Take some time to think things over. Someone posted some very good advice....DON'T make any major, life changing decisions right now. Trust me, trust me, trust me.....this is not the frame of mind to be in for making sound decisions. Is there any chance that this could be just a 'blip'? Maybe with some counseling and soul searching on both sides, can the marriage be salvaged?
Feel better and lean very heavily on your girlfriends. That's what women do best....support each other through the s&%tstorm. Hugs to you :)
Kelley, I'm really sorry you are going through such a rough time but as a twice married and divorced woman let me tell you that you are in for a lot of hard work and a rough road. First, if you have children don't leave them with your spouse because you could lose custody. Second, why should you leave the house? Your business and livelihood are based there? I hope you can work things out so that you can live a happy, peaceful life, but it will take time.
To answer your question, a month's notice for your clients if you are closing is generous. Hopefully, they will be very sympathetic to your problems.
Thanks ladies for all your support!
I decided not to move out this weekend, although i did have all my clothes and sons clothes packed. My son is almost two and i just couldn't take him away from his dad even though he would see him every day. We will see how the rest of the month of june goes and if things dont get better between my husband and i, we are going to separate. I would move out because i can go live with my mom where my husband doesnt talk with his family and financially couldnt afford to get a hotel or another place to live. If it gets to us separating, i will be going back to work and putting my son in daycare three days a week (he has one day a week with his aunt and his dad doesnt work fridays).
thanks for all your support ladies, very much appreciated.
Before making your plans I would contact a lawyer for sure to be sure all things are in writing.
Do not want to scare you but from experience with daycare families that have split I see some issues here that could be a problem down the road for you. If dad is still in the matrimonial home and one of his relatives is caring for the child one day a week he would stand a very good chance of getting custody of your son if he applied for it. You might want to consider that in making your plans.
I think you've just received some very wise advice from playfelt. I strongly agree.