Afraid of stepping on parent's toes??

Anyone else afraid of stepping on parents toes? I have one dc child who started with me a few weeks ago. After asking mom for pull ups for nap time after an accident she told me flat out No, it was regression and if I wasn't ok with that she would give me my 2 weeks notice. Apparently that was his first accident in a year. He's had 2 more, one being today. I have asked for extra clothes and still haven't gotten any so each time I do a load of laundry and let him borrow my son's clothing in the meantime. I'm done worrying about stepping on her toes and sent her a polite email asking for a few sets of extra clothes. If she doesn't want to work with me then see ya! I can't run my business in fear that anything I say I will just be threatened.

Note: he is my ONLY dc child.

No, I'm not, because it's my way or the highway. If you would like pull ups for nap times, tell her that they are required for his next day in your care or he will not be allowed to return. You shouldn't have to be doing her laundry for her!!! If she threatens to leave, so be it, you can't let her bully you like that.

Is this the child's first time in daycare or is he coming from another situation - potentially having been let go for similar reasons. Does sound from mom's adamant refusals that you are not the first person to suggest this. How old is the child?

It is normal for the stress of a new situation to cause a few accidents in some children. The refusal to bring clothes though would be a violation of the contract.

I would be taking him to the potty regularly and not asking him if he needs to go and if he has an accident call mom to come and get him. No way would I be washing his clothes. If child is old enough to talk ask him about the accidents and if he has them at home or just at daycare and he might even admit to doing it at the old daycare too.

His last daycare closed. He's 3 1/2 yrs old. Same age as my son (who still needs pull ups when he sleeps). She hasn't refused to bring extra clothes, just hasn't.

His first accident was in my son's bed and it soaked EVERYTHING and I had to throw out his pillow and mattress and buy new ones. Now he sleeps on a cot that I bought just for him which I still have to wash and also wash the carpet. Mom also mentioned in passing one morning that she and her son both have ADD. Would have been nice if she mentioned it in her interview.

I think you have to explain to this mom that daycare is different then home. It's not like you're forcing the child to pee during nap. It's not your fault! It's a change in environment. A change in schedule, that's all. A pull up isn't a bad thing. Cleaning up pee while you should be watching her child is a bad thing in my opinion. Tell her that you require 30 dry days before you move on from the pull up.

I have a 3 and a half year old in care that we have just stopped naps for in prep for school in the fall. Although he still takes a cat nap on the couch every now and then, he was wearing pull ups to every nap up until naps stopped.

As far as the clothes are concerned... well... it's nessasary. It's very expensive to be doing laundry mid day un nessasarily.

If a parent ever told me that if I wasn't ok with something they'd give their 2 weeks, I'd turn around and give them their 2 weeks. How dare she speak to you like that.

This client will not last.

I completely agree with the others.

But holy cow, she threatened you with quitting if you don't do things her way? Oh no, no, that's not how it works. We are not nannies or employees, we run our businesses with our rules and if a parent signs the contract and policies they must be aware that ALL policies must be followed.

Of course, if the way we run our business is not to the parent's liking then they should keep looking and find a daycare who runs things in a different way. But they should never sign on and then try to change our policies. That is not how it works.

I would not be washing kids clothes ... If the parent doesn't remember to send spare clothes then a call to pick up her dripping wet kid would probably refresh her memory. She would also have to pay for the damage caused by her child's bed wetting. She would be getting an invoice from me.

If she doesn't want to supply pull ups at 3 1/2 and no accidents for a year then I can see her perspective although her attitude stinks. But as a provider I know that something has to be in place for accidents that are likely due to the change. Ask her instead, to supply you with waterproof sheets which can be picked up for as little as $10. That way it is protecting your sleeping surface without the worry of regression. Two sheets give you a spare so you can send soiled sheets home to be washed for the next day. A lot cheaper in the long run than pull ups too. Honestly cutting the pleasantries, if she doesn't go for that, don't prolong the inevitable and tell her not to let the door hit her on the way out.

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Originally Posted by Crayola kiddies

I would not be washing kids clothes ... If the parent doesn't remember to send spare clothes then a call to pick up her dripping wet kid would probably refresh her memory. She would also have to pay for the damage caused by her child's bed wetting. She would be getting an invoice from me.

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Do you have a clause in your contract about damages? I make my parents sign an agreement that any and all damages caused by their child must be paid for in full before care can resume.

I would tell this Mom it is for health reasons that he must be in a pull up for nap. Regress? No it is much better to have the child feel bad for soiling themselves and for putting you in this position of having to stand your ground for the cleanliness of your daycare. I do not wash the children's clothes, that is their parents job.
Of course, like the other posters have said, if dcm had given me the threat of two weeks notice, I would have terminated her right then and there. Speak to me with respect, not threats.

From reading everyone's responses it seems that we're pretty much all appalled that your client seems to be misinformed on how the daycare provider/client relationship should work. However, I think you set the precedent by washing her child's soiled laundry and accepting the issue of no pull ups at naptime. If she was truly respectful of your business relationship she would have brought the extra clothes and suggested other ways to avoid soiling linens, etc. such as the plastic bed liners. I would nip this in the bud now. I would firmly tell her in no uncertain terms, what you expect and stick to it. If she has a problem, give her notice. This client does not sound promising.

I just wanted to add that if this issue of having accidents at naptime is new, I am wondering if it is just the change or if he is drinking too much right before naptime? WHile the mom is clearly out of line for threatening you that she will leave, I do understand that she doesn't want her child to go back to pull-ups at this point especially if he will be starting school in the fall. I would make sure he doesn't drink too much before nap and make him go pee twice. Then you could ask the mom to supply waterproof cloth training pants or a waterproof pad and lots of extra clothes. This is one of the reasons that I would never have a daycare child sleep in one of my family beds. In my opinion, if I put the child there for nap, it is my responsibility to pay for damages caused by accidents. In fact, even though neither of my kids normally has accidents at night or nap, I have waterproof covers on their beds because I know that things can happen with kids. The can vomit, they can be feeling unwell and have an accident, etc.

I didnt read all the post but I am so upset at your situation, I dont think I would of handle it as well as you. I would have given that woman my two cents !! As soon as she would of ''threat'' me with her two weeks notice, I would of said FINE ! I did have that with another parent for another situation and when those words came out of her mouth thats what I said, I was no enraged !!

PLUS: I would never use or have the daycare kids use my own kids stuff, cant believe you had to spend money for a new mattress wow I dont even want the daycare kids to touch my kids nap covers nevermind sleep in their bed :O

Dont put up with difficult parents, you'll end up stressed out of your mind !!

I love brightsparks idea of asking for a waterproof sheet. I may add this into my policies for new children starting that have been recently trained.

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Originally Posted by bright sparks

Do you have a clause in your contract about damages? I make my parents sign an agreement that any and all damages caused by their child must be paid for in full before care can resume.

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Yes I do. ; )

First there is a really really good chance she is lying and trying to force you into keeping him up or getting him up through nap. I would ask him who is on the pull ups he wears at home. If he is wearing them overnight then he will know the character. He most likely isn't napping at home on the weekends. Also there is a chance he was booted out of the last day care and has had multiple day cares cuz if moms behavior around toileting. She threatened you so I would assume she has done this before.

I don't allow parents to make decisions about my equipment. That's what she is doing. It's free for her to say words like "regressing" to put your equipment and time at risk. She needs to say words like “I will pay for damages and your time" She is not putting money into her words. She is putting your money into her words.

Tell her if she is willing to come get him immediately and pay for a cleaning service to clean your carpet and equipment then you can try another day or two but she must put down a 200 dollar deposit to cover time and damages. She will gladly pay it so he doesn't regress! Or she will decide the word regress is more expensive than the word pull ups.

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Originally Posted by daycarewhisperer

First there is a really really good chance she is lying and trying to force you into keeping him up or getting him up through nap. I would ask him who is on the pull ups he wears at home. If he is wearing them overnight then he will know the character. He most likely isn't napping at home on the weekends. Also there is a chance he was booted out of the last day care and has had multiple day cares cuz if moms behavior around toileting. She threatened you so I would assume she has done this before.

I don't allow parents to make decisions about my equipment. That's what she is doing. It's free for her to say words like "regressing" to put your equipment and time at risk. She needs to say words like “I will pay for damages and your time" She is not putting money into her words. She is putting your money into her words.

Tell her if she is willing to come get him immediately and pay for a cleaning service to clean your carpet and equipment then you can try another day or two but she must put down a 200 dollar deposit to cover time and damages. She will gladly pay it so he doesn't regress! Or she will decide the word regress is more expensive than the word pull ups.

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Well put Tori.

I agree with everyone else. this lady needs a reality check. if she doesn't provide extra clothes, I would be calling her to come pick him up. put it back on her. trust me, once it becomes her problem she will sing a different tune. don't take her blatant disrespect, you don't deserve it

I totally agree with calling her as soon as he wets himself and saying "You are going to have to come pick your son up as he has wet himself and has no clothes". She will definitely remember to bring them the next time. As Crayola kiddies has said, I would also advise her that you had to spend a lot of $$ on new items due to her child having an accident. If you don't want her to come and pick him up, maybe advise her that if she refuses to have him in pull ups, there is a fee per pee? Every time he pees and you have to do laundry (sheets, clothes, carpet, etc) that costs you money. $5 per pee? Sounds a bit crazy but she might think twice about him wearing pull ups at Daycare.

You have a great suggestion there Mama W2, but I would charge 20.00 per accident that required items to be laundered.

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Originally Posted by Mama W2

I totally agree with calling her as soon as he wets himself and saying "You are going to have to come pick your son up as he has wet himself and has no clothes". She will definitely remember to bring them the next time. As Crayola kiddies has said, I would also advise her that you had to spend a lot of $$ on new items due to her child having an accident. If you don't want her to come and pick him up, maybe advise her that if she refuses to have him in pull ups, there is a fee per pee? Every time he pees and you have to do laundry (sheets, clothes, carpet, etc) that costs you money. $5 per pee? Sounds a bit crazy but she might think twice about him wearing pull ups at Daycare.

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He needs to go home and bathe and return the next day for a new start.