Hey Everyone!
I am just wondering if the lack of adult interaction is hard on anyone else? Don't get me wrong-the kids at my daycare are quite funny and great little people!And I love being home with my own children!
Thanks!
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Hey Everyone!
I am just wondering if the lack of adult interaction is hard on anyone else? Don't get me wrong-the kids at my daycare are quite funny and great little people!And I love being home with my own children!
Thanks!
Cultivate some online friends you can chat to during naptime and well forums like this let you know there are other people out there.
Some find another caregiver in their area and go for walks together if kids young or meet at the park if older. Just going for a walk and seeing people driving helps to feel a part of the real world even without speaking to them.
I know it is hard when your own kids are little but if you can join a club or activity with other adults that helps too. Also a hubby that understands and lets you ramble on about your day is good.
Even having the radio on - talk show type station on in the daycare room while kids play is like having other adults around.
Daycare IS a boring job - especially if you have been at it for years. You will find, after four or five years, as your group turns over that you are doing/rotating the same themes, crafts etc. It is also boring from the standpoint that there is a lot of "down" time. And by that I mean time where the kids are just playing and you are watching and supervising.
Daycare is not a job that requires a lot of constant brain function. Lots of providers won't admit that because they feel the need to justify their fees and their job. But the simple fact is that, yes, daycare IS boring many days. No adult interaction, saying the same things over and over from day to day (don't snatch toys from your friends, good job putting on your shoes by yourself, stay seated while eating lunch, don't run in the house etc etc) doing the same routine. Yeah.....boring..... ...
When I am bored I think about how it could be on the flip side - running my butt off all day and trying to pretend to be busy during slow times at any out of the home job. THAT would suck way more!
I'm really lucky that I can travel to our downtown library where I meet 2 other caregivers with our daycares every Monday, then I travel with my group once or twice a week to meet other caregivers at parks or playgroups. I love it! Lots of variety for the children and some adult interaction for me. It IS important.
We also have two parks close to my home so we can go there and I always talk with the other Moms, then they start asking about my daycare and advice on how I make the children behave so well, ha!
But I am rarely bored. I plan something different every day including one day of theme of the week lessons/crafts/learning and I love being self-employed and working at home. Now, mind you I spent all my life working for other people and being a # in large companies where nobody cared about anybody else so that's the reason I love being my own boss now and working at home.
I'm the opposite of Judy in this case! I usually agree with her 100%.
Thanks Everyone!
Actually I am with Judy in the boring category. We pull out the same things year after year and well let's face it kids love repetition much more than we do so the third or fourth day of playing the same game or singing the same song does get boring. And my group plays so well by themselves that I do spend more time in the background during freeplay instead of hovering over them and constantly interjecting myself into their play.
This is when I have to remind myself that freeplay means I am free to play too so that is how I can be on here right now checking emails while they play and then we will do a group activity and then.... the day flits back and forth between me with them and them without me.
I try to keep a basket of things to do while they play nicely to fill the voids where I am just standing around lost since they don't need me - mend a pair of pants or fold a tub of laundry, empty the dishwasher, glance through a magazine.
Also remember at least here in Ontario while having visits and playgroups in our home are not allowed we can have a mom and her children visit us. So to get the adult interaction you are craving you could advertise for a mom such as one home on mat leave interested in bringing her child over to play. As long as the mom stays apparently you are legal since the mom is in charge of her own child not you. It is only another person's daycare children you have to count in your five.
As Judy pointed out it is the standing/sitting around waiting for the children to need you that is the boring part and what makes the day seem long and as if we have no purpose.
Momof4 it is great that you can get out as often as you do. I just find with my young group the getting there hassles negate anything positive that happens once there and we all just end up miserable so while I have little ones I stay closer to home - as in at home unless we are walking the neighbourhood.
For mental boredom what about doing the crossword puzzle or suduko from the newspaper while the kids play.
Judy- I gotta say I agree with you on a lot of fronts. I do find that there is a lot of "down time" where I am supervising and while I do look for those teachable moments I do think tht the children do need to play together as a part of a healthy development.
I do agree that there are tons of perks to working the job that I do but I just miss having adult interaction!
thanks everyone!
One trick to the repetition is to change it up such as a nursery rhyme but have it available in several formats so you can do each one but what they are really doing is the same song 5 times. Such as pictures you have coloured and made into a book, done as figures to use on the feltboard, smaller figures to use in a pocket chart or on a table to put in order and then sing the song and so the children can act out the song too, figures on sticks as puppets, done as hand puppets etc..... when you vary the technique used you get bored less and the kids get what they want in the repetition.
Boredom really isn't how I would describe it. I have been doing this for just over 7 years now and while themes are the same, I never do the same activities twice and over the years of surfing the net and especially since Pinterest and so many great homeschooling blogs have surfaced, there really are an incredible amount of activities that can be done. For me, it's the lack of intellectual stimulation which slowly has my brain dying. A portion is obviously the lack of adult conversation but I have managed to get a great circle of friends to socialize with outside of work and as my kids get older I am now able to have some adult time without them having to come with me everywhere.
I am very intellectual, and I don't mean to be arrogant when saying that. I crave knowledge and love to learn so to be in this job where I am SO isolated, and the learning plan is so mundane and basic, it really takes its toll on me. I am an analytical thinker and can always see the bigger picture and love complex and multilayered subjects, so simple concepts that can only grow minimally bore me quickly and under stimulate me.
It is my intention over the next year or two, to adjust my family's lifestyle to be able to pay everything except our house off, learn to live MUCH more frugally and be in a position to live off one wage and go to university to study Psych and Sexuality. Because I have this short term goal it keeps me motivated when things seem a little stale and repetitive. It also forces me to savour every moment with my daycare kids as I know that I will never get these moments back and when I become a student I will miss the two hour nap breaks in the afternoon when while I am generally busy I still have the option of saying screw it, and putting my feet up and watching some daytime crap with a cup of tea and some biscuits :-)
Bright Sparks- I hear ya!
Anyway, it sounds like I am not alone in feeling a bit isolated. Thanks for all the replies everybody!
There are some days during which I wouldn't mind a little change, but for the most part, I find my days go by quite quickly and I really enjoy myself. I have good relationships with the parents who will often come in for a chat or a coffee at the end of the day. I have 1 mother who often joins me for a morning coffee at drop off as she has a flexible schedule. My neighbour joins the kids and I for our morning walk in the summer, which is quite nice. There's another provider who lives around the corner from me who brings her older kids to the park behind my house, so we chat by the fence. Most of my evenings are full socially with friends from the old neighbourhood, social activities with clients, boyfriend, what have you. We have regular activities (today was tie dying shirts) and don't seem to have much problem filling our hours at all. We seem to have a nice balance of scheduled activities. All in all, I find I'm rarely bored.If all else fails and I'm starved for adult company, I'll call my mum :)
But during the early years....OMG!! I thought I'd go crazy!!! Any poor slob who came in to do repairs or maintenance on my home were subjected to a barrage of small talk as I almost begged anyone (ANYONE) who didn't require a bum change or nose wipe to talk to me. Ugh....the first few years were a little slice of hell in that regard.
The age mix we have makes a huge difference too. There are days when I have all young ones needing morning nap leaving me and another 2 year old to entertain each other that are bad for sure. Right now the oldest I have is turning 3 in September and while she talks ok is not a great conversationalist so really there is no one to talk to. When I had school age kids at least they could answer questions and interact verbally. Even when I do a circletime or equivalent it is me doing the talking and singing for the most part so again that isn't even as much give and take as would be nice.
It is something you get used to and on some days appreciate - especially when your own kids are in school and you know the minute they walk in the door it is non stop talking about their day, helping with homework, feeding them, getting everyone to the right activities and back again and the next day when you are bored cause the kids are playing and don't need you you take advantage and get a cup of tea and hide in the corner and enjoy the pretend solitude. One of those what is boredom now will become the most welcome part of your day in a few years.
I know that doesn't help you get through them now. I find those lulls is when I do prep like cut out parts for a craft or make things for a new resource or sit with a clipboard and lesson plan. I also crochet around the kids but there are strict rules about how close they can come to me till I have put the hook in my bin and they are good with it so I can make little things for them to play with or work on a larger item that will be a surprise in a month or two - I try to work in advance like I am making fall stuff now but mostly just experimenting with patterns to see how it goes and then ripping it out since I am only partly concentrating on what I am doing. That helps me to feel like I am doing something for me even when it is really for them if that makes sense and saves me a task needing to be done in the evening.
Daycare123, you said your dckids are too young to get to the park. Mine are 16 mos, 22 mos, 2 1/2 & 3 1/3 and in a month we're adding a 9 month old. I have a double stroller so only the two smallest can ride. So right now the 22 mo old, who is quite small, is practicing walking long distances so that we can still get out and about. It takes months of practice and strengthening but by the age of 2 all of my dckids have always been able to do this for over 5 years now.
I bought the puppies and ponies backpacks at Walmart for $20 and they have a long rope that hooks onto my wrist or my stroller. That way the walkers are very safe and can't dart out into traffic at any time. I live near downtown and all the roads we travel are very busy with traffic. There's no way I would be stranded in the house without travelling after I've developed this system of going to so many different places each week. The parents love the variety I provide to the children. I love the variety!
We have a park within walking distance but they took the sand out and put in bark chips and removed the two spring horses the babies could ride so it wouldn't be fair for me to go to the park too often and expect those not able to walk and climb on the structure to just sit in the stroller and since dog walkers use the park not letting them on the grass either - hence we use our backyard too.
Walks now only happen when my daughter is here as my one child is in a wheelchair and the other 4 ride in the foundations quad or the wagon and oldest was walking till she left in June. But have wondered about the logistics of putting own child and baby in wagon which can work weight wise as it is rated high and then using the backpacks to leash the other three to the wagon but then we would be limited to walking on the road and not on the sidewalk due to width. I also feel little ones spend so much time in stuff I prefer to let them loose in the back yard for outside time.
For the most part I find my days fly by and I don't have much time to get bored or sit. This could just be because I am in my first year of the job but when the kids are free playing I am usually prepping snack, cleaning up or changing bums. I think my boredom comes a little bit from the same routine everyday. I love it and won't stray from it because it keeps them sane but sometimes I wish I could just spice it up a bit.
I like to be outside a lot and so do they. We mostly stick to the backyard but go to the park as well and on Fridays when I just have 4 kids (my 2 and dc 2) we go to the splash pad. I think it can be a bit harder to be mobile when you have your own kids on top of dc kids unless you own a quad or 6 seater. My stroller seats 3 and the others walk (I have 6 kids including mine).
I think to mix it up I might try and do some outside crafts/activities as we generally free play outside. Currently we do a lot of water play, bubbles, ride on toys and small games e.g "Mr Wolf."
I would like to try tie dying. Any other ideas? Today we dug for "fossils" in the sand box but it held their attention for only 5 mins.
Have had good success giving the older ones a place to make a garden - just cleared an area of grass to show the dirt and they could dig and weed and gave them plastic flowers from the dollar store to plant - so no issues of the flowers not growing but they still had to weed and well watering was for fun.
Sun pictures are fun - give each a piece of black or dark blue construction paper - the cheaper the variety the better as it fades better. Then have them find small things in the yard to lay on their paper - pebble, leaf, feather, etc - maybe even make it a scavenger hunt. Then leave in the sun all day and go back out at end of day to remove the items (save them) and see the shadows. Then laminate the papers and use them for games having them sort and match up the pieces to the shadows, switching papers - keep pieces in zip bags with the correct paper.
Make them wash all the toys in the playroom a few at a time and lay in sun to dry. Great thing for blocks that can be floated in a pool of water and then scooped out.
If they are content to create their own play outside and are easily bored having that interrupted with planned activities then just let them explore and make their own fun.
That is where caregivers that have been in it for many years find the boring time. We learned that kids need to be in charge of their playtime more than they need us to run it for them so while we still program and plan activities it takes up less of the day and there is more child led play/learning going on. But it takes time and experience to master setting up the environment to allow that kind of self learning.
I feel the same as those who have said that it is more a lack of intellectual stimulation that can get to you. I don't have much downtime in my day as I have 5 dck's plus my own 2 (one is in school during the year)...so while they freeplay, I am always either changing someone, cleaning up after a meal or prepping a meal. It's only once in awhile that I actually get to sit down and just watch them play...and I savour those moments and enjoy them. I can see how I might have more down time once my own kids are both in school full-time though as I notice when they are not here that I pretty much don't know what to do with myself as I have so much more time and less demands on me. My kids all play really well on their own and I wouldn't want to start structuring all of their play just to keep myself entertained. I do some work on my computer at naptime, which helps keep my brain active. I also get out almost every day to the park where I talk to whoever I see there. I am lucky too that my neighbour has a daycare and we go for walks together or meet at the park...it is really really great to have an adult ot talk to and someone to chat about daycare stuff with. I am not sure hw I would manage if I had to stay home all the time and not have any adults to talk to.
Yeah, I have struggled with the free play issue from the beginning. We do primarily free play and they love it. I structured it that way on purpose as I think it is important for them. This has been really validated once my 3 yo dcg started as she does not know how to play independently at all and struggles with this. I think he parents unfortunately have done her a disservice by playing with her too much that she gets bored quickly and looks to adults for entertainment. None of my other kids are like this. I think I am looking for other activities not to entertain myself but to have ready and waiting for those moments that free play seems to be not enough at that moment.
I tried incorporating some theme week activities and they largely sat "undone" as they were content to have free play and my introducing something would have interfered with that.
Playfelt- all of my kids are great at playing independently and I have created an environment that helps them foster a healthy curiosity and imagination. I suppose I wasn't clear. I am not needing activities. I guess I was just curious as to what you all do when you feel like you don't have enough adult interaction throughout your day.
Momof4-hmmm..I don't know what to tell ya-I guess all kids are different, because my kids right now definitely would not work with just me at the park, but I think that has a bit to do with the fact that some of them like to wonder off as it is. My kids are ALL between 15 and 24 months. We do get out - I go for walks almost everyday if we don't want to play in the yard.
I have been doing working with children for over 10 years and running my own daycare for 3 years now, I suppose I am just feeling a bit isolated.
Anyway, thanks for all you insights-but it seems like different stuff works for different folks.
Everyone is different and has different needs. Personally I like living in my own little space with no one to bother me or comment on any thing I do or don't d0 - hence the young ages of my gang too. But I know that is not for everyone.
If you go to the home page and put in your postal code it will bring up other providers in your area. If you can find someone that is close you could contact them and ask if they would be interested in going for a walk or meeting at the park or getting together for coffee in an evening and that way you will have someone that understands what your day was like.
How old are your own kids? Once they get into activities your social life will start to revolve around the moms of kids they are with so you chat with moms at school drop offs, soccer games, sparks meetings etc.
YES!! And stressful! Especially in the beginning. You are taking on a whole new identity . Before having my daycare I for up in the morning, put my nice office clothes on, went to work where I was social and my work was evaluated on an ongoing basis, this giving me validation. It's all different now - I wear Yoga pants everyday, rarely do my hair, etc.
I think it's really important to find a social outlet outside I work that allows you to interact and get away from mom/daycare provider life on a Regular basis.
Well thanks everyone :) I think I am in a bit of a rut, but knowing that everyone has days like this has made me feel better and human! Thanks for all the support!
Wow sorry for the typos - I'm on my phone trying to type quickly before the kids wake up!!!
I haven't been doing it nearly as long, but I hear you!Quote:
Originally Posted by Daycare123
I know it sounds a bit boring and controlling, but we started planning our weekends... It seems counter intuitive, but that way we can make sure we do everything we need/want to AND still do something social. Even just having friends and their kids over for a play date or games after bedtime. My husband is more social than me, so he loves it, and it's enough to get me through the week. And yes, occasionally "nap" and "movie" are on our schedule :)...
I am the same. I love the solitude of just me and the kiddies. When I want to talk to other adults, I use the phone at nap, or talk on one of my message boards. :laugh:Quote:
Originally Posted by playfelt;51483[B
Sometimes I go to the park, but when I have a full house, it's much easier to stay in my yard.
Don't misunderstand me, I have terrible down times when I don't want to change any more diapers or sing any more children's songs or even hear their voices for a while! That's why I take a vacation week every 3 months. One time at an interview a Mom asked me "You must miss them terribly when you go away on vacation?" to which I gave her the deer in the headlight response but I zipped my lip so I didn't say "Are you kidding, I NEED a break from them every 3 months."
But also, I think back to my last job where the management treated half of us like the stuff you see in diapers every day and I came home feeling worse than I ever had in my life and I stuck that out for 10 years. So even though this job isn't intellectually stimulating except for my surfing the net daily to find the craft of the week or checking in with my forum pals daily, this job is doing my health, attitude and well being a lot of good.
Also, Daycare123, at the park if any child wanders off they go directly into the stroller and are left there for the rest of the park visit. That teaches them quickly that they should NOT wander off and they MUST listen to my rules. Hope that helps.
That is me to a "T". I, too, am very intellectual and love to learn and research. I am very much an analytical thinker as well. I swear to God that some days I can feel my brain cells exploding in my head from sheer atrophy! :p I find the mundane nature of this job stifling at the best of times. I NEED to think, to use my brain. One of the reasons I frequent daycare forums so much is that it helps me to fill the gap. And what I mean by "fill the gap" is that forums afford me the opportunity to be useful - to coach others and share my skill set. Without forums I honestly don't know if I could do this job. I would be totally unfulfilled.Quote:
Originally Posted by bright sparks
I am also one who withers without intellectual stimulation, so I read during nap time. I still teach one course per semester at the university, so I find just keeping up in my field provides that to some degree, but I also read a wide variety of books. I need to learn something new every day, and as much as I enjoy the little ones, my brain cells were starting to atrophy when I was spending nap time cleaning up from lunch. I am glad I am not the only one to feel this way.
I have been attending night school to get my grade 12 as I graduated high school in the UK which is at a Grade 11 equivalency so I need to upgrade in order to meet my UNI admission requirements, and honestly it makes a big difference to my day. I am undeniably more tired being out twice a week at nights until late. I finish daycare at 5:15 and have 30 minutes before I have to leave the house to be at night school on time and am there until 9:30 and not home until at least 10, but the very next day I feel like I am functioning on all cylinders. Unfortunately it tends to be short lived so I make the most of it. I feel less fatigued and more enthusiastic about my job although nothing really changes. I finished my last course in June and 2 weeks after completion I was back to feeling like a basket case lol I'm not sure if there is any way around this other than the fact that long term, this is not where I see myself permanently.
In the meantime though, I have dropped a day. Come September (I have kids going into JK), all my families are Mon-Thurs and on the Friday I will be doing a combination of self-study courses, again to get my Grade 12 done, volunteer work hopefully with youth within the LGBTQ... community, and also for self-care. Time for me is something that has never existed and I am that caregiver who burns out on average at the moment every 8 weeks because I am busy caring for everyone else and always give 100%, all of the time. To prevent this I now turn every long weekend into a 4 or 5 day weekend so I can immerse myself in being ME as an individual, versus me who has the roles of being a mother, wife and daycare provider. I find it helps me to maintain consistent exceptional care for my daycare children when I put THAT "hat" on.
Good for you for going back to school brightsparks, that's hard to do.
It is hard just getting to the point where I can just get there let alone be in school. That being said, just having the short term goal to go ignites the passion I need to drive me to do it. I CAN"T WAIT!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Momof4
Well, it sounds like I am lacking balance. Hard to find Balance when the days are so long but it's not impossible! :)
Bright Sparks- good for you! That's wonderful!
I think this is for sure the problem we have. All day we care for other people's kids and at night we still care for our kids and well a lot of hubbys are just big kids with even bigger needs. We sort of cease to exist when we do daycare because our life doesn't change. When working outside the home someone else does the daytime care for us and we have our own time. Not that we enjoy the work either but it is our time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Daycare123
If you can get hubby on board or hire someone to do part of the daycare for your kids in an evening or a weekend then you can find that I am really a separate person time - even just going to the mall and trying on a new outfit that you can't imagine yourself wearing just for fun. It doesn't have to cost anything it just has to be alone or with someone not connected to your day.
A lot of caregivers take evening or weekend workshops dealing with childcare not because they care about the information but because they just want to be around other women that understand what their day was like.
My husband for the most part is a great help, and we are ok, but since we have gotten back from the in-laws he has been horrible in regards to picking up after himself...etc....
So he is working weekends this week, and I am sending ds to a friend's and just going to do something other than stress about his non-sense!
Good luck!
My husband is amazing- he is supportive and very helpful :) and it really does help when I have had a long work week :)
Had a great day with the kids today-feeling less isolated from talking to all of you!
thanks!
Oh, I think you pinpointed the problem. :thumbsup: That's the solution! In my daycare business experience so far I've been exhausted, happy, burned out, relaxed, over-stressed, couldn't fill spaces, full and happy again, need to fill spaces again.......it's a real roller coaster ride.Quote:
Originally Posted by Daycare123
But with time and practice you figure out how to make it work best for yourself, how to cut back on crafting or whatever isn't your favourite thing to do and just let the children play. That's ok you know, children SHOULD play. Also, as the groups change and the ages change you have to adjust and go with the flow. I've found my groove I guess so I'm not overworked and dying at the end of the day the way I was when I started out.
Ah now this describes me! I don't have younger children, my youngest is 15. I am not bored with daycare, love it, been doing childcare for over 20 years (if I include the 2 years I was a live out nanny and the one year I worked at a centre). I love working from home, not having to travel to work, being able to be my own boss, etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by playfelt
I know we all have our own opinions, this is just mine ... I'm frustrate with today's parenting trends, frustrated that I feel like I have to baby sit the parents, the children I have had in care for 2 years are horrible nappers so I'm also burnt out, I have only about 30 minutes where children are napping and to get that I have to spend an hour+ watching over them, few of my parents will help in the learning process, my children aren't taught self help routines at home, but the one thing I am so tired of is changing bums and parents not helping with potty training. I have 2 children that should have been trained almost a year ago, but excuse 'weekends are too busy'! But like I said this is just me, parenting 15+ years ago was so different than now, and I have had a hard time moving forward with the trends and I know I am burnt out.
I'm in Ontario so not having play dates has been a bit depressing and has added to my frustration. I miss the social interaction, the shared activities, the big parties for birthdays and special events. Throwing a birthday party with 5 kids instead of 15 isn't as fun.
But daycare frustrations aside, you hit the nail on the head with me. Because I work from home with the younger ones, my schedule is different than my friends so I don't get to the park the same time to have those stolen moments of social interaction for me, I don't have school runs. I attend field trips, but I am always so busy watching and helping my group enjoy the event that again I miss the stolen moments of adult time. I also find I'm in a hard age, most of the people I know who are my age have young children, so I find after work, I don't get the same social interaction because I spend my days with younger kids and in the evenings or weekends I don't want to. I don't get to take care of me! The only time I do, is those few times I can afford to do a photo shoot with a group of people, but then we are so busy taking pictures sometimes there is little time for socialization. Oh, I should add I'm the Mommy of a competitive dancer, who dances 6 days a week, being a single parent a lot, all the chauffeuring falls on my shoulders unless my oldest is kind to me. Right now, between chauffeuring and work, I'm on the go from 7 am to 7 pm, by the time I get 'home' I'm exhausted.
The main reason why I'm ready to close down daycare is because I want to find out who I am, I want to have some me time and take care of myself, get into photography, lose weight, etc I would in a heart beat if the budget allowed.
I would love to take just a few months off daycare, I know me, all it would take is 3 months and I would be ready to go back to work ;) I'm just burned out and frustrated. Bored, is generally not in my vocabulary.