Very unhealthy eater

I have a kindergarten child who I've had for nearly 3 years. This child has always been super picky about fruits and veggies. I once had them eating apples, corn, carrots, tomato sauce. But it's become so much worse over the past year. Recently all the kids got a gross cold around the same time and I noticed that everyone but this kid haas now recovered. This child is still coughing, runny nose, cranky 2 weeks later. The only real difference is that all my other kids eat whatever I give them. When I started thinking about this kids diet all this kid will eat is bread, crackers, granola bars, yogurt and only if its a tube, cheese or milk if they FEEL like it. I've tried saying everyone must eat 5 bites of everything before leaving the table. This kid will sit all day before eating one bite. I've tried for one snack a day offering only things this child finds unacceptable(in the hope they will eat out of simply having no other chioice) like non tube yogurt and a variety of cut up fruit. Nope, kid will starve until next meal. This child receives fruit ONLY from juice! Won't even eat tomato soup or smoothies. I love this kid and otherwise mom and dad are great, but this kid is sickly, tired, constipated tons. I've asked mom and dad about diet at home they say the kid won't eat veggies or fruit but they're not too concerned as long as the kid ears something. School snack packed by parents is always fruit roll up, Rice Krispies squares, chips, chocolate bars and a juice. I feel so frustrated and worried for the kid but there is nothing I can do if parents aren't in board.

I know this certainly does not take the place of eating veggies and I am pretty hard core about eating what is served as one of my children is not a great eater but there are vitamins that cater to children who don't eat veggies. My own child would be a vegetarian if I let her and I have a difficult time getting protein in to her .... She does not like peanut butter or hummus either and she would prefer not to eat potatoes or rice either but my rule is you eat what we are eating or it becomes your bedtime snack. If you choose not to eat it you get nothing and breakfast is a long way away. There are certain proteins she will eat but I get tired of chicken wings and homemade chicken fingers. On the plus side she loves eggs!! My daycare kids eat everything cause they know they can't get down from the table to play if they don't .

I agree with everything Crayola kiddies said, and another suggestion is to try some pureed veggies, if she will eat pasta with any sort of sauce? or pureed veggies or fruit in homemade banana or zucchini bread, muffins, etc.

You can only do what you can do though. Given that she's already kindergarten age, and her parents don't put a high value on nutrition or healthy food for her, and willingly provide her with junk food instead of what her body needs... it's probably a battle you can't really win, at this point.

The purees in homemade breads/muffins/pasta sauces might help get a bit of nutrition in her, at least.

If the child will drink juice how about the sunrype brand that has veggies in it?

Mostly apple juice is all I can get this kid to drink. I have tried the sun rype fruits and veggies juice but this kid won't drink it. Now and then they might drink a wild berry flavor. Puréed veggies in stuff is a good idea to at least boost nutrition a bit. I have told this kid they may not leave the table until
Trying a single big bite of whatever veggies or fruits I served but the kid honestly sat there nearly 90 minutes throwing a fit before dad came to pickup at regular time. Dads okay with sitting until a bite or more is tried but mom feels it is cruel and asked me never to do it again. So I haven't. I still
Push the fruits and veggies but I just feel that this kid is being done a huge injustice and it makes me angry and sad that the parents don't seem
Concerned. Those special vitamins are a good idea too.

I feel so bad for kids whose parents don't have the knowledge and/or care enough to feed their kids well. It will definitely be a battle for you if the parents are not on board with healthy eating. The child fills up on junk and can hold out until he gets home if need be rather than eating the healthy foods you try to offer. One note about juice...it fills kids up and takes space that could be used by foods. I don't serve juice for this reason. Maybe she could have it as a treat ater having eaten some healthy food? WIll she drink a smoothie? If so, one thing I do is make fruit and yogurt smoothies and throw in raw spainch...the kids can't taste it ;) I also load all of my pasta sauces with a ton of veggies and puree it...never had a kid yet who won't eat it ;) I also throw veggies and fruits into all muffins I make or pancakes. Basically, there is no point in giving empty calories, so everything has to have maximum nurtition, especially if the child isn't eating much. Good luck! I had one little girl who ate junk at home and it took a long time for me to get her eating even half the fruits and vegetables I serve.

I've tried smoothies but if kid sees pulp or seeds of berries, they refuse to eat it. Generally this kid has figured out that there is fruit in smoothies and because there is refuses to try one sip because 'fruit is gross'. I've put various fruits in waffles and pancakes but again, if kid sees fruit pieces no matter how small, won't eat it. I think I'll try pureeing veggies into breads and muffins. This kid won't even eat pasta if it doesn't have either a cream or cheese sauce on it. If I top it with tomato sauce, it will remain untouched. Now that this kid is in kindergarten parents pack a snack for the morning recess at school and it's always quite large and junky. For instance today's was a kool aid juice pack, 2 chocolate chip cookies and a Rice Krispie treat. So it's sometimes enough to pull the kid through til afternoon snack or even home time if I don't serve what they feel like eating.

I hate to say it, but the parents have lost the battle for you before it even began. This is absolutely disgusting...that the parents would pack all that sugary junk for his snack!!! I am surprised the school hasn't said anything...I know my son's school has guidelines about what can be sent and they promote healthy lunches and snacks, don't allow chocolate or sugary treats, etc. If that is what he is eating for morning snack, there is no way you are going to get anywhere with lunch I am afraid. He is loaded full of sugar and junk and isn't likely to care if he misses lunch because he doesn't like what you are serving. How is his behaviour? Does he act out a lot, have trouble sitting still, etc? I would expect that kind of food to have en effect on behaviour as well as health :( Poor kid!!!

I'd advise the parents to go see a dr or nutritionist. If it's impacting their immunity, it's beyond the realm of "picky eating" in my opinion. You could also suggest they buy pediasure or some other nutrition replacement and have the child drink it before school (before breAkfast would be ideal, since it sounds like they eat junk for breakfast too). A dr can prescribe it so that insurance would cover a portion (that might entice the parents to actually see a dr).

You can't do much in terms of breakfast, but if you're up for it, you might want to offer to send the school snack (give what you'd serve at home). They're likely filling up on the junk, and it keeps then for the rest of the day. If they eat your snack at school, great; if not, then at least you have a shot at getting a good lunch in them. It sounds bad but it's going to be easier for you if they're hungry at lunch.

As far as losing food, it sounds like food jagging, which tends to be temporary, so I'd keep offering them small portions of the foods they've lost. They'd be more likely to pick up one of their old foods than a new one, so you might have more success that way.
I'd also try to create variety in the limited foods they will eat, so they begin to be flexible with food in general. So if they'll eat the tube yogurt, let them watch you squeeze it into a bowl and eat it that way, then different flavours of the tube yogurt, then try a similar flavour of different yogurt, then try puréed fruit mixed in, then bigger chunks or fruit or some granola, etc. Try different toppings on bread, then different types of bread, moving up to a bread with fruit or veggies in it. Break the crackers in half, make cheese stackers, add pieces of meat or pickles eventually. Baby steps are key, otherwise they might move backwards again.

There are parents who WANT their child to be a “picky" eater. They feel it makes their child unique and special. They also believe that specialness will defy human nature and THEIR child is the one who can have the special treat diet and be perfectly fine.

They may know some fundamental things about the basic food groups but they don't feel it applies to them. They want their kid to be happy and NO crying. If that means candy and treats are their main diet then so be it.

When it hits your table it becomes a source of conflict IF you allow that. The best thing you can do is name it, claim it, then release it.

Name it by referring to his diet as a candy and treat diet. Use phrases like "he wants treats" “he wants candy" “he drinks sugar" to the parents.

Claim it means to tell them what you offer... you offer specific foods only. The candy, treats, and sugar drinks are not at your house. You don't have them. You don't serve them. You won't.

Release it means to let it out of your mind and don't let it back in. This is there gig and it has NOTHING to do with you. The only talk you will talk is the name it claim it. You won't be a part of anything else regarding it.

It's okay if they want to live a treat and candy life. They can and they do. They will continue no matter what you want. It's not about you and they don't care what you think about it.

Don't expect him to try anything or eat anything. Just offer the meals and if he says no say “cool" and have him sit quitely while the others enjoy their meal. I wouldn't offer any juice and I wouldn't make anything treat wise that he likes. I would stick to offering the minimum serving of bread products and make them completely plain... like a half slice of whole wheat bread. No seconds on bread and NO bread snacks.

Let him leave your house hungry and complaining. When they confirm his hunger and his complaints you name it, claim it, then release it.

I stopped stressing about the non-eaters and realize it isn't my job to make them eat and it isn't my job to be a magician and make things like veggies disappear into other foods. My job is to serve a balanced meal and the parents to pick up the slack since I agree that in many cases they made the problem in the first place.

I agree with DCW and Playfelt...stressing about food is not worth it. On the other hand, it is in my best interest as well as the childrens' that they eat well and stay healthy as if one is constantly picking up colds and flus, it passes to the rest of us as well and not only that, but I have to care for a constantly sick and cranky child. I don't make special meals for any one child, but I do put thought into my meals and try to pack as much nutrition in there as possible so that we all stay as healthy as possible. I can't force them to eat it and I can't force their parents to feed them well at home, so I don't worry about it too much.

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Originally Posted by playfelt

I stopped stressing about the non-eaters and realize it isn't my job to make them eat and it isn't my job to be a magician and make things like veggies disappear into other foods. My job is to serve a balanced meal and the parents to pick up the slack since I agree that in many cases they made the problem in the first place.

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I realized this after the first year of having this daycare. I used to hide veggies in meals. I am not doing that anymore. They get to see the broccoli, cucumber, cauliflower, carrots, etc. and they eat them most of the time. A favorite with my current group is cheesy cauliflower. It took me about 4 times of serving it and we went from nobody touching it to everybody asking for more now. I don't know how they eat at home and I don't ask parents. I serve foods and if they don't eat what I serve they go hungry so they learn very fast to eat when meals are served. I think it also helps in my particular case that I always start with infants. So they get to learn our daycare eating habits since the beginning.

In agreeance with the last few posters on this one. I make it, I serve it, you eat or you don't, your choice. And that is that. I used to stress big time. I had a little boy who would cry hungry when mom/dad picked up at the end of the day. I could tell that Mom, in particular, thought that I must be starving her darling boy. So I started to say "I bet your tummy is so hungry because you chose not to eat snack today! Tomorrow, make sure you fill it up when we eat. *happy Daycare-lady smile plastered on* But I can't fight it if Mom then says, "Oh, I have some licorice strings in the car, baby!! You can eat some of those."
I am all for hiding veggies and fruits if that is what you are going to do anyway. But I am not sure doing so, just for this one particular child, really helps anyone. Then the rest of the daycare kids are not seeing all the healthy foods that they are eating, right? I would continue to offer balanced choices. If she eats, she eats.
Unfortunately, you have her for one meal and one snack, 5 days a week. Mom/Dad have her 2-3meals and 2 snacks a day, every day. You can only do what you can do. Sounds like they have made their choice.

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Originally Posted by Artsand crafts

I realized this after the first year of having this daycare. I used to hide veggies in meals. I am not doing that anymore. They get to see the broccoli, cucumber, cauliflower, carrots, etc. and they eat them most of the time....I don't know how they eat at home and I don't ask parents. I serve foods and if they don't eat what I serve they go hungry so they learn very fast to eat when meals are served. I think it also helps in my particular case that I always start with infants. So they get to learn our daycare eating habits since the beginning.

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I could not agree more:). Another poster gave great advice on this to me when I first started, that it simply our job to offer healthy food. I used to hate throwing out so much. In fact, I bring that up in interview. That I serve what I serve; of course, allergies being the exception. I've learned to serve my super slow eater first, to start with very small portions and to serve the dessert (usually fruit) only to those that finish.
I have 2 in care right now that won't touch a vegetable at home...but gobble everything up here:)

Kids have great power when it comes to food and I feel they realize that. So, I try to take a relaxed approach in that they have to try but beyond that I don't get upset. I have one that holds everything in his mouth if he doesn't like it...soooo gross! I'm still working on overcoming this one (right now he stays in his chair until the food is swallowed...not safe otherwise!).

It's true. Mom and dad have made their decision. They'd rather not bother trying to teach him proper nutrition at all if it involves ANY sort of possibility of dispute. I just feel so bad for this kid because he is not as healthy as the other kids are and I'm sure it's because they eat healthy. And they've even begun letting him pick exactly what he wants for dinner regardless of what it is. Needless to say this causes many disputes with little sibling who is still made to eat what mom and dad eat for dinner. It's getting harder to feed him each day but I'm trying not to let it bother me. There are many days he won't eat even things he used to because he has become so used to eating exactly what he wants at home. The kid won't even eat jam now because it's made of fruit. Parents have even gone do far as to tell him it's okay to not eat fruits and veggies as 'everyone's body is different and he just doesn't need fruit or veggies'. Why????!!!!!

I suggested making a one bite of everything rule it you don't leave the table or get dessert etc. they responded with 'that is cruel and unfair'.

jam is fruit LOL...it's too bad that the parents are teaching and allowing this behaviour and way of thinking.

I don't think your rule is cruel or unfair. I have a picky eater and I do this with her as well. She will now take a bite and some things she said she didn't like she now eats. There are days I am sure she is going home hungry but I don't know what else to do. I refuse to give her mac and cheese every day which is what she tells me she eats for supper every night.....and I believe her! I have though included her in the meal planning some days and this helps. You can adapt it a bit to make it healthier...for example whole wheat pasta instead of white.