Bottles at Nap

I was wondering what other providers do when it comes to parents wanting their child to have a bottle at nap time.

I have had my daycare for 3 years now and never had any kids that still required a bottle. My daughter never had a bottle in bed either and I weaned her at around 16 months.

I started care for a girl (she is currently 12 months) in Sept. Mom told me to just give her a bottle for nap. This poor girl barely eats because mom feeds her approx. 5 full large bottles a day. They bring 2-3 to my house daily. I only give her 1 at nap. I mentioned to mom that she would only need 1 here but mom continues to send 2-3 here. They feed her a bottle on the way to my house and one on the way home (this is not counting the 2-3 they leave here). I have hinted that she would likely be close to transitioning off but I know mom won't do so easily. I have their oldest daughter and she was on a soother/bottle until 3 years old (I would just pour her milk in a cup here and never told mom I didn't give it to her in her bottle, also I never gave her the soother while she was here either).

I also had a new boy start a month ago. He is 15 months and still takes a bottle to bed as well. His bottle is formula even (not just milk). I also mentioned to his mom that he would likely be ready to transition off soon and she told me no she doesn't think he gets enough nutrition from food yet even though he is a good eater.

What would you do? I feel both kids certainly don't need their bottles during nap but ultimately they are not my kids and the mom's are both not too ready to move off bottles.

I have had a few kids who still took bottles at nap(however, they started when they were 8,10,12 months old!) I never had an issue with it as they all took their bottle themselves and I didn't have to sit and feed it to them. A couple of them would even have their bottle in the highchairs while I cleaned up after lunch and then I would do diaper changes and put them to bed. All 3 also took soothers so that probably helped. I know at home they all sat with mom and got rocked but they didn't here and they were fine. Eventually I just did what you did and dumped it into sippy cups and told the parents. They were fine with this but I think they still continued to get a bottle at home which was fine with me.

I did have a 2.5 year old who still got a bottle at home but at daycare he didn't. Mom sent a bottle for me to use here but I never did use it as he went to bed without it. Mom was shocked and said the only way he would nap at home was if she rocked him with it. I think it was mom who needed it but I didn't say anything lol. He was always the first one fast asleep here!

I would just ask if the parents are okay with them getting their milk in a sippy cup with their lunch and see how nap time goes.

I would never give a daycare child a bottle in bed as its a choking hazard .... Huge liability!! Not to mention bottles drip so your play pen is going to stink after awhile and milk that remains in the child's mouth once they go to sleep rots their teeth since its full of sugar. Unless for a medical reason children don't need to be on a bottle after 12 months and once the child is eating four food groups they don't need formula .... The formula is a meal and the child will not eat more real food until the formula is gone. I would tell the parent due to insurance liability reason you cannot give a bottle in bed so they would be really helping the child by not doing it at home.

Since we usually interview a family at least a couple months before they start care I always just plead ignorance if called out about something later - as in I just assume things (whatever is in my favour). By that even if a parent tells me their 10 month old doesn't use a cup, needs a bottle to fall asleep, etc. I just "assume" when they start that they have progressed to where they should be and don't ask. If I don't ask, parents don't usually tell just assuming I remember from the interview. Milk goes into a cup and they take as much as they can. I will hold for a bottle till they have been with me for a month or so by putting everyone else down and then holding the child to drink then into bed. Mom just assumes one thing, I do what I feel is in the best interest of the child and everyone is happy. Then when mom says 6 months or so down the road they think it is time to introduce a cup you just say oh really I just assume he was already trying to use one at home because he has been on a cup here and not the bottle for 4 months. Just assumed you brought the milk in the bottle out of convenience.

I've had issues with milk too...I had one who was having so much ( I think 4-5 bottles per day total) that she always had runny poops and therefore lots of bad diaper rashes. I tried hinting and hinting and finally they cut back to just one at daycare instead of two and it made a huge difference.

I also won't do a bottle at naptime because of it rotting teeth and also because I find kids who fall asleep with a bottle don't sleep as well because when they wake at some point during naptime they need a bottle to go back to sleep again. Same with soothers, when I start out a little one I try to cut this out too from day one.

Well both of these mom's have told me to feed the bottles in the playpen for nap. Like I said I have mentioned hint hint that it should be time soon to transition out of them. They both were very quick to express their disapproval.

Personally, I have never put a child in their bed with a bottle. Yes, it is a choking hazard, it smells and it is also really unhealthy for the child. The child has to learn to fall asleep without eating and that can be a very hard habit to break. It also leads to childhood tooth decay and can cause permanent damage to those little teeth (http://www.cda-adc.ca/en/oral_health...ooth_decay.asp). This is something that I am clear about in the interview process. When I transition a new baby who is still using a bottle I will use it to comfort the child before naptime or if the child is really having a tough time but I do not rock them to sleep with the bottle and I don't use it as part of the naptime routine.
I think you have two options, mickyc: 1) you can just transition the child of the bottle and tell the parents after the fact or 2) you can tell the parents that you feel the child is ready to give up the naptime bottle as there are some serious health risks associated with bottles in the bed. You have to be firm about this and be prepared for them to argue and tell you that it will never work. Tell them it is amazing how well children respond to rules in daycare, etc. etc. I have a little one who is still using a soother at 2.5. I told him he could only use it here at naptime and I recently just told him that he isn't using it here at all anymore. End of story and that was that. He still comes in regularly with it in the mornings though as mom swears that he won't give it up at home :-S.
Also, 5 Little Monkeys - a bottle at 2.5 is ridiculous!!!!

Well if you disagree with it then just cut it out yourself.... Or just put water in the bottle then there's no rotting teeth and no smelly playpens. You will have a few days of crying through transitioning but if you stand your ground it wont last long. I also cut out soothers as soon as possible too ... They disgust me.

Mickyc - that is tough because you want to maintain a healthy relationship with the moms too, but it is your house and your rules. The bottom line is that it is not safe and not healthy they can't argue that.
Instead of hinting maybe just tell them that this is how it is now and reassure them that their child will learn to sleep without the bottle. You can explain that you let it slide for the first while because you assumed it was a short term solution while the child transitioned to daycare?

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Originally Posted by mickyc

Well both of these mom's have told me to feed the bottles in the playpen for nap. Like I said I have mentioned hint hint that it should be time soon to transition out of them. They both were very quick to express their disapproval.

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They don't get to make that decision. YOU decide when it's time for them to have their bottle. At my daycare in the interview process I tell parents that all the kids have their milk after lunch and while they have their milk we do storytime. And then it's naptime. We have busy schedules and therefore WE decide when it's convenient to do certain things. If the moms don't like it, just use the choking hazard and tooth decay as your excuse and that because of liability you won't do it anymore and they will have to learn to fall asleep without their bottle.

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Originally Posted by Crayola kiddies

Well if you disagree with it then just cut it out yourself.... Or just put water in the bottle then there's no rotting teeth and no smelly playpens. You will have a few days of crying through transitioning but if you stand your ground it wont last long. I also cut out soothers as soon as possible too ... They disgust me.

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YES! They are filthy! I only use them for naptime here. I hate when the kids open their mouths for me to pop it in! I usually just hand it to them to do themselves. Hahaha!

This is another case where we have to make a decision of where our responsibilities lie. I know the parents pay our fee and have the right to parent as they want but I really wonder when our loyalty needs to pass to the child and that for those brief hours I have control of the child I let them grow up, learn new skills etc. - having a child use a cup or use the potty, fingerpaint or pile blocks is no different when you think about it. It is all part of "teaching" the child.

Thanks playfelt. I agree. The one mom babies her children so much. The dad told me today that the 4 year old has trouble with her zipper so could I please do it for her. I have taught her to do it but she doesn't like to because it takes her a few tries. Her parents dress her. Needless to say when it came for outside time I still made her do it herself and surprise surprise she did it all alone.

So after lunch today I gave both kids their bottles in their highchair. The 12 month old only drank a little bit and was done. The 15 month old drank most of his bottle (formula). He cried for a bit when I put him for nap but did go to sleep. The 12 month old went right to sleep without her bottle. I likely won't tell their mom's.

that's awesome, mickyc! good job!

gravy train....I agree. I actually think the mom finally gave up the bottle at about 3 or 3.5? I can't remember but he was old!! lol

I allow soothers but they stay in their playpen and if they grab it at naptime than that is fine but I don't give it to them. They don't gross me out......sucking on thumbs gross me out!! haha It's also a lot easier to take away the soother than it is to take away the thumb! I went to school with a girl who sucked her thumb until like grade 4!!! It was odd....

Hi jacking your post somewhat.... one of my biggest pet peeves is parents who send their kids to care, and they CANNOT HOLD THEIR OWN BOTTLE, let alone a cup. Arrrrgggghhhhhhh!!!! !
Who do you figure is going to sit down with your child, and hold it for them? ME, or the 5 other children under 5 that I am caring for? Ugh.
Sorry, had to get that out. LoL. This seemed like an appropriate thread. ;)
I think you did exactly the right thing. And it worked!

Think that is a common peeve for sure. I harken back to the days of 6 month mat leaves then baby came to care and grew up. Now moms spend the first 6 months pushing their kids to do it first over the neighbour's kid and then the next 6 months undoing the child's attempts because they don't want to lose their baby or they just don't know any better.

I am with mickyc on this one. I have a little boy who is 12 months, just started with me, and uses a bottle twice a day for naps. Once he is used to my home, I'm going to give him his bottle at the table and put him down for naps without a bottle.

Nap went fantastic today. Other than the 15 month old with a bit of crying he finally went to sleep. They both slept the full time. I am going to do bottles at the table for a week and then start dumping it into the sippy cup. I won't be telling the mom's though.

I won't allow a child to take a bottle to bed mostly because the drips make the bedding and play pen a mess. I use my daycare furniture everyday and I need it to last a long time, so I try to take very good care of it. So, when I have a client who says that this is what happens when they interview, I advise them to break the habit at home, otherwise the transition will be much harder on the child when they start here.

As far as having bottles long term. It's their child and it's not up to me to discuss tooth decay, transitioning out of the bottle etc with the parent. That's their choice. However, if it effects my day I will change them to a sippy and I will let the client know.

I never thought of choking hazard !! Yikes I have dcb at 2 and parents are insistent that it is a comfort he needs also a 17 month old who goes down with milk , she is undersized and very picky eater . Hmmm not sure what to do ?

Seems like a no brainer to me. The 2 yr old doesn't need it ... The parents need it cause they don't want to have confrontation at bed time ... They just want to kid to shut up and go to sleep. Seriously no bottles after a year ... It's not necessary and the longer the parent waits to take it away the harder it is for the child ... The 17 month old is under weight perhaps because she us filling up on milk ... Perhaps not eating as much as she know the bottle is coming .... Put the liquid in a cup and that's it ... Yes you will have a few difficult naps at first but it won't take long.

Oh my goodness !!!! Knowledge is .....? I read this post this morning and was shocked !!! Yikes never thought of anything giving my 2 dck their bottles at nap !!! So I decided wow ok no more bottles at nap !!!!! Oh my !!!!!! Dcb aged 2 was just confused , where's bubba um I just prattled on to him sleep tight !!! And walked out !! His parents have zero issue as its a comfort to him ! But my 17 month old dcg screamed her head off for 45 min !!!!! Yesterday she laid down beautifully !!! Lol so while I'm happier that it is safer !!! (Thank you !!) my head is killing me !!!

nap time around here was about the same as yesterday. I gave dcb his bottle in his chair. Mom sent him a small one today as she wants to start weaning him off. He drank his whole bottle even after eating his whole lunch. He must have been stuffed! He cried for about 10 minutes before he went to sleep.

I didn't have my 12 month old today but will do the same again with her tomorrow.

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Originally Posted by Crayola kiddies

Seems like a no brainer to me. The 2 yr old doesn't need it ... The parents need it cause they don't want to have confrontation at bed time ... They just want to kid to shut up and go to sleep. Seriously no bottles after a year ... It's not necessary and the longer the parent waits to take it away the harder it is for the child ... The 17 month old is under weight perhaps because she us filling up on milk ... Perhaps not eating as much as she know the bottle is coming .... Put the liquid in a cup and that's it ... Yes you will have a few difficult naps at first but it won't take long.

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While I do think that some parents use the bottle for the reason you stated, I do know some parents who have kept the bottle longer than I think is necessary because it's a bonding time for them and the parent isn't ready to give that up. It's not how I would do things but they aren't my children and how they do things at home is out of my control.

Have never understood the link between bottle and bonding - yes when they were infants but you can hold and cuddle your even very large child while THEY hold their sippy cup and drink it. In fact it gives you two hands/arms to cuddle with.

Well I never put my own children down with one but honestly never even thought about it !!! So everyone is sleeping nicely now !!! And all is good ! I think I'm still old school where we did everything the parents wanted , I've got to get back into the game !!

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Originally Posted by 5 Little Monkeys

While I do think that some parents use the bottle for the reason you stated, I do know some parents who have kept the bottle longer than I think is necessary because it's a bonding time for them and the parent isn't ready to give that up. It's not how I would do things but they aren't my children and how they do things at home is out of my control.

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I'm not sure how putting a child to bed with a bottle is bonding

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Originally Posted by Secondtimearound

Well I never put my own children down with one but honestly never even thought about it !!! So everyone is sleeping nicely now !!! And all is good ! I think I'm still old school where we did everything the parents wanted , I've got to get back into the game !!

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Yes they are not your boss .... This is your business .. Your house.... Your insurance (liability) .... You sometimes need to do what you know is best.

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Originally Posted by Crayola kiddies

I'm not sure how putting a child to bed with a bottle is bonding

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I took it to mean that some parents keep their child on a bottle so that they can have that time especially in the evening to cuddle with the child and keep the child dependent on them so that they feel needed. It is about the parents not the child.

Thanks playfelt, that is exactly what I meant. :) You are so right....it ends up being about the parent and not the child.

You have a good point....it can be done with a sippy cup as well! If I run into this issue with a parent again I will remember to tell them that a sippy cup while cuddling would be an easier transition for the child. The problem with either is that sometimes the child becomes so dependent on it that they have a hard time falling asleep without drinking something and that makes naps at daycare incredibly tough on the child! (and the dcp! lol)

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Originally Posted by 5 Little Monkeys

Thanks playfelt, that is exactly what I meant. :) You are so right....it ends up being about the parent and not the child.

You have a good point....it can be done with a sippy cup as well! If I run into this issue with a parent again I will remember to tell them that a sippy cup while cuddling would be an easier transition for the child. The problem with either is that sometimes the child becomes so dependent on it that they have a hard time falling asleep without drinking something and that makes naps at daycare incredibly tough on the child! (and the dcp! lol)

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Absolutely right monkeys ..... It also creates a problem for some children who wake due to a soiled diaper ... So they really can't sleep through the night and if they can't go back to sleep with out the bottle it just becomes a vicious cycle. It's a lot of broken sleep for both the parents and the children. Children need to learn to be able go to sleep on their own.... It's a very important skill.
It's also a problem when they are potty training as they will be a long time in the night time diaper as long as they are drinking right before they go to sleep. Really if a child can drink from a cup there's no need for a bottle

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Originally Posted by Crayola kiddies

Seems like a no brainer to me. The 2 yr old doesn't need it ... The parents need it cause they don't want to have confrontation at bed time ... They just want to kid to shut up and go to sleep.

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This is a massive pet peeve of mine. I am extremely irritated with the practise of giving in to a child to make life easy NOW. If you put in the work with children, do the hard thing FIRST, then they will learn what is right.

If child absolutely must have a bottle in bed and parent refuses to switch to a soother instead - would rather a 2-3 year old with a soother than a bottle if I have to choose then there is no reason after a full meal that the bottle can't be filled with just water - it is about sucking not nourishment. That also helps to break the habit as in the child has to really want it to actually use it and end up weaning themselves off.

I agree playfelt. I'm not a huge fan of soothers when the child is awake but I have no issue with soothers for nap time. I would rather have this than a bottle or thumb sucking. I feel that a soother is the easiest to wean off but that has just been my experience.