Change of situation

I know that your daycare income is your job--- but do you make certain allowances?

An example:

A friend cares for a few children in addition to her own and the parents of one of the children have just split and the father (gem that he is) is refusing to pay child- support until there is an order- even then I suspect it will be like pulling teeth)

The mother loves her day care provider but cannot afford the full fee without her soon to be ex's contribution.

My friend (the daycare provider) is considering letting this particular child slide on reduced fees for a bit- is this a bad idea? would you do it? What would you do in a similar situation?

ewww....I would NOT do this! Then she might ask for more things to slide as well. I would not chance it, and would rather loose this parent then to give her a discount.

OR, what I suppose you could do, is to write out a loan system type of thing. So, I would ask for what she can pay for, and then when dumbass dad finally comes through with the money, that's when she will provide the money back to you. Does that make sense? It does in my brain...but it's 9 p.m. on a Friday...

But my opinion, I would say, NEXT!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by mamaof4

I know that your daycare income is your job--- but do you make certain allowances?

An example:

A friend cares for a few children in addition to her own and the parents of one of the children have just split and the father (gem that he is) is refusing to pay child- support until there is an order- even then I suspect it will be like pulling teeth)

The mother loves her day care provider but cannot afford the full fee without her soon to be ex's contribution.

My friend (the daycare provider) is considering letting this particular child slide on reduced fees for a bit- is this a bad idea? would you do it? What would you do in a similar situation?

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She shouldn't as say he refuses to pay anything and this can take a while in court, she will be out of pocket. I had a similar situation last year and I allowed the child to come part time on the Mom's days. Then when the situation changed she came back full time.

Unfortunately I cannot afford to make such allowances. She has to do what's best for her family and I have to do what's best for mine. I have four children of my own to house and feed.

Oooooooh..... I would LOVE to say, give her a break on fees for a bit, and tell her to pay in full again as soon as things get sorted out.
UNFORTUNATELY; that is where issues usually begin. I don't want to be cynical, but I see it ending badly (ie; provider sees money getting spent elsewhere and gets upset, or mom gets back on her feet and decides that she likes the extra cash flow so doesn't start paying what she should and when she should). There goes the friendship, that's for sure!!
If a provider was going to do this I say that some guidelines need to be in place.
- decide in advance what the discount will be (not just "pay me what you can manage") because otherwise, those fees will be the first things to go unpaid
- decide in advance exactly how long this will last before the situation either goes back to regular fees or terminates
- agree that she will not discuss this with other dayhome parents, as it is none of thier business (and the sob stories may come out if others hear she is giving "breaks")
- ensure that her own budget and her family's needs are still going to be taken care of
- be completely honest with the parent that this IS impacting her income and is a serious favor, so that when things change it is important that she is honest about that part

Ugh... I hate that we assume the worst about people so often, but it is usually the childcare provider who gets screwed over first!! :(

Rather than let her pay less she should be charged the regular amount with a debt accumulating for unpaid fees (the dad's portion). That will be needed in court to prove that his contribution is needed.

Be aware that the family will likely leave as soon as a subsidized spot is available so cutting some slack till she finds cheaper care is one option if you want to help out and it gives time to replace. As far as doing it on a long term basis her situation isn't your fault either and you should not be made to suffer.

Basically she is asking the DCP to loan her money though. Does she not have family that she can borrow $ from? It is inappropriate to ask your daycare provider for a loan, IMO.

Nope, no way no how.

I don't think it is unfair of me to say that their problem is not our problem. Hey, I might like you a lot but I simply can NOT assume every problem of every daycare family I have. This is my INCOME here.

If that daycare provider worked outside the home at any other job and her boss came to her and said, "Hey, would you work for reduced fees because my hubby and I just split and he isn't paying me child support", she would FLIP out, give a very big NO and then find a different job.

Why are we in a position, as daycare providers, to even be ASKING these questions?? It's completely ridiculous, IMO, that anyone, least alone a PROVIDER, would even be questioning this.

I'm not answering the question, but what does IMO means?

Now to answer the question, I would never to that, except for a really good friend and only if I myself coul afford the loss!

Sarah

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sarah

I'm not answering the question, but what does IMO means?

Sarah

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IMO = In my opinion

now to make it more complicated:

recently split mom is offering to barter (she says she feels terrible about everything and while she can't pay financially she is offering her time)

She is offering to watch providers kids so provider and hubby can have time away for 4 hours once a week, clean providers home once a week

ewww that can turn horrible. If this provider decides to do this with the mom, make sure they make up a contract and both to sign, with a witness. Otherwise, it can get ugly!

As heartless as it may seem, I agree with the previous posts suggesting that business and friendship should remain seperate. There is no room for favours in a business. I think that she should cut her losses with this family and suggest she find a more affordable daycare because cleaning the house does not pay provider's bills. Money does!!

I agree with Judy, if you start this when do you stop? I let the parents know that I need to supplement the family income, if I did not I would not charge at all. My family relies on my income.
In BC we have a subsidy system and if you are not able to afford daycare the Provincial government will help. All you need to do is make a phone call, go in for an interview and you will get a percentage of your daycare fees paid for. I charge the parent for anything shortage in the subsidy paid to me.
Have the parent call to find out any information from the provincial government.

I was in a situation like this one December of last year...The dad wouldn't pay until the courts told him to and the mom couldn't afford the full fees on her own...long story short the courts told him he had to pay half. mom was always on time with her half and if she wasn't she told me as soon as she knew she was going to be a day or two late, dad on the other hand never paid on time....EVER!!! the courts made their decission in January I terminated mid May after yet again being informed at 9pm that payment was not coming... it was so frustrating and stressfull going through those 6 months...i would say 'I'm sorry but this isn't personal, it's business. You wouldn't put up with your work not paying you when they're supposed to so why should I..."

I wouldn't ever go there again! 3 strikes, late payments, and you're out....Sorry!

I have made concessions i.e., one parent is laid off so kept the child a couple of days a week rather than full time at a reduced rate, when the parent was back to work the pay rate went back up, loved the child and turned out fine... was worth the dip in pay but... In another situation, it blew up in my face to the point the parents paid what they felt like paying.... have to really weigh it out... and honestly try to to daycare for friends it gets awkward at a certain point although after 15 years I have another friends child.... everytime I think it will be different guess I need to get tougher lol.

In Ontario we have subsidy too, but it is a 3 year waitlist in our area, all regions are different but I don't think there are any regions that do not have a wait list... unless you are in a dangerous situation, that is a long time, for a single Mom to foot the bill herself... especially since "we girls" just don't seem to have the same high paying employment many of the "dads" do sound as though the BC programme is better