Risky question - what do you think about a male opening a home daycare?

I've made my decision and have received quite a few opinions from friends, family, and some yard sales last summer from closing daycare providers. That's one reason I'm relocating. No daycare need where I currently live.

I more or less decided last spring that I wanted to do this. I went to yard sales to buy things I would need. I did make sure they were safe and no recalls. In going to yard sales, 3 of the ones I went to were ladies closing their daycare. 2 of those ladies asked who I'm buying for because I was buying for different ages, and boy and girl items. I told them my plans. One said "good for you" and the other said "That's a great idea. I've actually had parents tell me they wish there were male daycare providers ...", so basically both daycare providers I told saw nothing wrong with the idea.

Friends and family - a mixture.

Family
My brother, he's an old fashioned person, and he's younger than me. He's probably even against women's lib. He says "you can't do that". I asked why and he said "guys don't do that". My mother and father are 50/50, saying I would be good at it, but they don't think it will work. My sister says no because a man can't be alone with children. I can get in trouble. Reason: A friend of my fathers married a single mom. Shortly after his step-daughter turned 16, he was charged with child molesting. His story was that she got mad when he wouldn't buy her a car for her birthday and threatened him with that. Her story was that she never told earlier because he promised to buy her a car if she kept quiet. Only God and those 2 know the real truth. He was in jail for 14 months when she admitted she lied. I'm guessing she did lie. Now, he has CAS orders to not be alone with any children, even his own. His life is ruined. With CAS here in Ontario, an accusation, proved or not, and you're on their bad records for life.

Friends
I have some friends that were children when I first became friends with their father. I was a part of their life as children, and am now a part of their children's lives. They all say I'd be great at it, but like family, they're half and half about doing it. Some say go for it, and others say it's risky.

So, aside from the risk, what do you daycare providers, and parents, think about a male (me) doing home daycare? The risk topic might be a new thread some day.

Male daycare? yes or no?

I think male providers can provide great quality childcare. I know from working in centres, the male staff were always loved by the children, both boys and girls. The older boy school age children especially loved the male staff.

I don't personally know any hdcp's who are male but I did watch a Canadian show (some house show, maybe love it or list it?) and there was a family on the show where the father was a hdcp. It was in Toronto I believe. He had a house full of kids :)

I do think you might run into some families who will not be comfortable with a male hdcp. It is sad but yes, this job is usually looked at as a "woman's job". My fiance works evenings and will often look after the children if I need to run to the doctors or to the store. I have had some parents who want to get to know him more and see how their child will react to him before they feel comfortable leaving their child with him. There was one time I had to do some morning bloodwork and one parent had just started 2 weeks before. She just kept her child home until I got back home. Soon both her and her daughter came to love my fiance just as much as they did me and she was totally fine with him watching the kids. I actually find the kids look forward to when he gets to "babysit" lol.

Just as not every parent finds me acceptable to be their child's hdcp, you will find the same. However, I am sure you will find parents who trust you and when that happens, word of mouth will be your biggest advertising!

I'll be honest. I found a great daycare that I liked but didn't go with them because it was run by a husband/wife team and the male provider made me uncomfortable. I think it was mostly this guy that made me nervous but also I was a first time parent, I have daughter and he also kissed her on the first visit (without asking her and she didn't initiate). I just didn't want to have to wonder/worry. I think if she had been older I wouldn't have worried as much but only because she could tell me if something happened. I also have worked with children who were sexually abused so this is more likely on my radar

Getting started will be the tricky part. Once I get the first one, references will help grow, so that brings up another question. Should I offer a good discount for the first child in exchange for being a reference once they "try me out"?

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the male provider made me uncomfortable. I think it was mostly this guy that made me nervous

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That could be a good thing. No parent should leave their child with someone they feel uncomfortable around or nervous about, man or woman. Feelings can have good reason.

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he also kissed her on the first visit

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That right there says don't leave her there. Neither man nor woman should kiss a strangers child after a first meeting. I've had a few dozen different children in my life, but only 11 that I have ever kissed, and that was never until I knew that they knew I loved them, and it was also never on the lips either, or if I felt they didn't want a kiss. Same with hugs.

Sexual abuse is a topic all of its own, and something I plan to teach. My website and parents handbook say that I will be teaching about that topic, age appropriately, unless they say no. That's a serious topic to me.

I think you'll attract the clients, obviously, who are comfortable with it. It wouldn't be a big deal, for me, but I do think there will be some for whom it would be. But those parents are obviously not even in your potential client pool.

I think all providers attract parents with the obvious things: set up, program, hours, rates, etc but in a home daycare setting I think it is the personality of the provider that seal the deal. Can they connect with you? Do you have similar philosophies wrt children's needs, discipline, etc? If they feel comfortable with you, they feel comfortable. Whether you are male or female, young or old, kwim?

Good luck! Are you open now or just getting set up? What ages are you providing care for?

Planning to open late May or early June. I know care needs go up for the summer due to school age children being off, so want to be ready for then. The higher the demand, the better the chance of getting clients.

Age will depend on the need, but I'm thinking about trying to have a range so it is more family like and to be prepared in case I decide later, or we're forced, to go registered.

I don't think it will be too hard to get clients. As long as some parents are willing to at least consider me and set up a meeting, the rest will be easy.

I have to admit that I would probably be hesitant to leave my kids with an unknown man...but I recognize that this is a really biased point of view and I feel bad having it! I guess it's because you rarely hear about a female pedophile...they are normally men...so it creates fear in parents' minds. I know men can be equally great daycare providers...I would have no hesitations with whether a man can do a good job...it would simply be this fear factor. I think it will be very important for you to have a current police check as well as lots of references from people who know you and have children who have been around you. Once you get going, you will have parent references, but for now you will need to use friends or anyone you have babysat for, etc. I think it will also be important for you to to prospective parents about why you want to run a home daycare. It will be on their minds, but they may be too shy to ask...so if you can break the ice by getting that out of the way, it will likely ease their minds a lot. It definitely might be harder for you to start out...but then there may be families who are thrilled about having a male provider and choose you because you are a man not in spite of. Also, it may be harder if you don't have a family of your own (I am assuming you don't from what you have said). Many of us get into home daycare because we want to be home with our own kids. If you don't have this motivation, parents might wonder what your motivation is. Be prepared to explain! Good luck!

That's all planned for. I went to the OPP Friday about getting a CPIC and because it's for daycare, it's a vulnerable sector check needed. I got the paper and will be bringing it in Monday. They said for a VSC I need a letter from the employer. I told them that would be me and they said just write a letter yourself then explaining why you need the check.

I'm taking the CPR Level C course next month.

I have why I'm doing daycare on my website and will also be telling any prospective parents.

My parents and 3 or 4 friends and relatives all said they would be references. I'm going to have them write a letter of reference to give those interested, then they can call if they have questions. My brother and sister won't because like I said in the OP they both say don't do it.

I don't have children, which is part of the reason for doing this. Women are lucky there. If they can't find a husband, they can still have kids pretty easily. Men can't do that. I'll add a bit about myself to my intro post, or you can read it on my website.

I hate to saythis but I wouldn't leave my kids with a male provider....

Very understandable. I expect a few with that opinion and there's nothing wrong with that. Nobody needs to be afraid to give negative posts. That's why I titled it "Risky question...".

My boyfriend used to work in a playcentre/ preschool kindergarten in Hong Kong. Every country is different but he loved what he did and is amazing with children mine ,and my friend who home schools her children and asked when he could come back to entertain her kids.

What I suggest and what made me comfortable with him with my own children is reference letters. You have friends and families and I'm assuming you have watched other people children and been responsible in there development somehow.

Maybe they can write reference letters. Also a suggestion find some play group drop in centers maybe you can volunteer at, my current daycare my children attended to they have different people in at times gaining experience who are completing the e.c.e

I'd contact some providers grated you will need to provide a police clearance as I will be working in some daycares to gain experience before I open mine as well.

Personally I wouldn't have a problem but as someone who has been abused the red flags would click in for me.

If I was going to use you as a provider I would expect the following but this is just me.

Police clearance

Maybe something from child services saying your a fit person ( overprotective mom )

C.p.r for children

First aid

And something that give some formal training on daycare

Reference letters from parent of children's you have cared for or from a placement to gain exp.

I hope I have not offended you in anyway as being a male daycare provider. I have red flags as being abused as a child I wouldn't want to have my children go through that. That being said not every un related male would do that.

Just my words

Good luck

Chiyo

I made a similar comment on the other thread titled "pricing" I read your home page and I'm not too sure what to think ..... You made some statements such as "women do childcare because that's all they know how to do or thats their only option" You also made another comment to the effect of ..some women don't even like looking after kids and often do a poor job of raising their own children...... This was all under the heading if why parents should go with a male provider... You also made the revelation that you are 50 years old and struggle with mental health issues and that children saved your life twice..... While I applaud you for being open and upfront about this because its important I will be honest and tell you I would never leave my children with a 50 yr old single male provider with mental health issues. Actually I probably would never leave my children with a male provider that I didn't know personally for many years.... Sorry

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Originally Posted by Chiyo

I hope I have not offended you in anyway

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No way. Thanks for your input.

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Originally Posted by Crayola kiddies

You made some statements such as ...

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Sorry, from personal knowledge, I know several that fit those descriptions, but I guess I only know those people, not the ones who count. I'm going to do some rewording there.

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Originally Posted by Crayola kiddies

You also made the revelation that you are 50 years old and struggle with mental health issues and that children saved your life twice..... While I applaud you for being open and upfront about this because its important I will be honest and tell you I would never leave my children with a 50 yr old single male provider with mental health issues.

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After being active here, I realised that I am being a bit too upfront on my site.

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Originally Posted by Crayola kiddies

Actually I probably would never leave my children with a male provider that I didn't know personally for many years.... Sorry

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Good and smart choice. Personally, I don't think I would either if I had children. Sounds dumb, but I am different. People who know me say so.

I think at first and for a long while you may have to stress an "open door" policy. Tell the parents they may drop in at anytime to "see how things are going" . If it is nap time then let them know they are free to come by for a coffee and have a little chat if they like.
My point is if you show you have nothing to hide and the parents will feel like you are not hiding anything (like bad intentions towards the children)
This open door policy may prove to be a bit tiresome because we all do need our breaks and quiet time but unfortunately, just as some women have to jump through hoops to get a male dominated job, you may have to jump through some hoops of your own to reassure parents.
With reassurance of this kind, yes, I would have sent my child to a male provider providing he was the best choice. :)

Open door is my plans. Once they get to know me, they will want their day off anyway. I plan on having to work harder to get my business going. Once I get established, it'll be much easier.