Bangs

Anyone ever have a child who's hair was so long it drove you insane?!? I have one DCG who is two and has never had her hair cut and right now her hair is hanging in her eyes ALL. THE. TIME. I can't stand it. I've put clips and hair ties in her hair to keep it away from her face which helps but she always seems to pull them out at some point and then we lose track of them etc. Man do I ever wish her parents would just cut her hair already! Her hair is way past her shoulders now too and she really REALLY could use a haircut.

This family in general seems to really baby her and they seem to have a hard time with just letting her grow up.

If I had it my way I would be taking my scissors out and snipping that hair! ( I cut my kids hair all the time :) )

I have an almost 3 dcg that comes in looking like an angry mouse spent the night in her hair. Her hair is clean, but I don't think it is brushed after bath and then let to air dry. So everyday, I bring out the brush and elastics and clean up the mess. She looks so relieved and happy to not have that mess hanging in her eyes. Her parents never say anything about her hair being done. She honestly transforms from a waif to a gorgeous little girl.

I would just buy a pack of those small elastics at dollarama (400 in a pack, kind of like the ones used for braces). I have had this with a few kids. I tell the parents that the hhair is bothering the child and then tell them about these elastics and how great they are, where to get them etc. Then when she comes in the morning if they haven't done it, throw one in her hair. I have done this with a few kids now and the parents always start doing it at home.

I have two girls who have long bangs. One mom always has her hair pulled back but she has a side part and some short hairs so it can be in her eyes from time to time. The other girl is 2.5 and has the shortest hair I've seen on a girl that age. Her mom or I will put it up sometimes but dcg doesn't really like it up, and she really doesn't have much to put up anyways lol but her bangs are annoying. I think mom doesn't want to cut it because she's wanting it to grow haha.

I was 7 or 8 when I had my first hair cut. I could literally sit on my hair. It wasn't that my parents babied me, my grandparents were old school and believed that girls should have long hair.

We've been doing elastics etc but she just does not keep them in. My daughter was the same so I just cut her hair and gave her bangs. I think if the child keeps it in fine, but for crying out loud her hair is directly in her eyes CUT IT!!!!

make the elastic tighter! it will hurt if she tries to pull it out.

we are in the process of growing out my daughters bangs and we are always using clips and I am constantly fixing it. I have a 2.5 year old with curly hair. she comes in the morning with it all done nicely and it is a mess by lunch.

I had a family once who would always be somewhat annoyed when their child's hair wasn't prefect when they picked her up. Ummmm....kids play, dress up, sleep etc and I am not a hairdresser! They always fixed her hair before they left my house lol. whatever!! LOL

I'm with you! Just cut the stupid bangs!!!! I have a little dcg who is 15 months old right now and her hair is in her eyes, in her mouth when she eats and a few weeks ago had a cold and it was full of SNOT! Seriously I ask every week when she will get a trim, mention the hair in her eyes almost daily and nothing. I give up, I put it up but she is too young to keep the clips/elastics in and I worry about choking hazards lying around the house. Thanks for letting me vent

I don't know if I am just more forward, but I would just tell the parents she needs her hair cut - could approach from the angle that it is a safety concern as she cannot see with the hair in her eyes.

There are a few things that I don't think we as dcp's get to have a say on and FOR ME, one of them is hair. I don't think I would appreciate a person telling me that my child needed to get a hair cut. Just my opinion :)

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Originally Posted by 5 Little Monkeys

There are a few things that I don't think we as dcp's get to have a say on and FOR ME, one of them is hair. I don't think I would appreciate a person telling me that my child needed to get a hair cut. Just my opinion :)

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Totally agree!

Flinstone ponytail right on top of the head with a non-slip elastic and as tight as you can. Fixes the problem.

I do the same as mickyc, but I call it a yoga bun to make mom feel better ha ha!

2cuteboys...I wear my hair in a high bun almost all the time so when I do the kids hair I try not to do it this way so the parents don't think I'm trying to make their kids mini me's!! haha One mom does her send her daughter in pigtails in buns from time to time though

I do the same as mickyc...I call it the pebbles look :)

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Originally Posted by 5 Little Monkeys

2cuteboys...I wear my hair in a high bun almost all the time so when I do the kids hair I try not to do it this way so the parents don't think I'm trying to make their kids mini me's!!

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I would probably do the same! That would make for an awkward encounter if everyone was twins at pick up.

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Originally Posted by 5 Little Monkeys

There are a few things that I don't think we as dcp's get to have a say on and FOR ME, one of them is hair. I don't think I would appreciate a person telling me that my child needed to get a hair cut. Just my opinion :)

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I understand your point of view, I really do, and the LAST thing I want to do is to tell these parents to cut their daughters hair but is it really fair to me that I am the one fixing her hair 1 trillion times per day, and is it really fair to dcg to have to deal with it either? All for the sake of mom or dad wanting their little girl to have a certain hair do?!?! She is so young...they can easily grow out her bangs when she is older and ready to handle clips and hair ties! Gosh I even find it messes with their posture...like she has to tilt her head a certain way all the time or look mostly downwards cuz when she lifts her head the hair is in her eyes. So she is walking around not able to see
with bad posture and hair flinging in her eyes...gah it just annoys me to no end.

On a different note this is also the same parents who send her in jeans all the time. Now I know everyone is going to have a different opinion on this one too but I hate seeing toddlers in jeans. They just can't move as freely I find and this DCG in particular tends to always have tight fitting ones...my kids wore nothing but stretchy comfy pants during their early years...just another one of my pet peeves I guess.

So imagine my delight when she showed up in jeans and her crazy long hair this morning...

I totally get what 5LM is saying and agree to a certain extent. As a parent they may not appreciate being told that they need to cut their child's hair, but the reality is that even if they don't like it, and even if it oversteps the boundary, in some cases they need to be told to do something if it is in the best interest of the child. I am not going to be passive to a parent for fear of upsetting them if it is at the expense of the child. Bangs seems like such a trivial thing to tell a parent to deal with, but with the added Info you gave Fun&care, I'd tell the parent to that they need to deal with the bangs issue. It's not my job to tell them to do this, they should use their head and sort it out to begin with. This isn't a case of style choice, seems more like complete ignorance to meeting a child's basic needs. Tie it back effectively, or cut the bloody fringe.

I understand your side too. I am a dcp as well (obviously lol) and I completely understand your frustrations of having to do something a million times a day. HOWEVER, I chose this career and with it comes annoying things. No different than any other career, there are always going to be things I may not like but I have to do because it's my job that I chose.

FOR ME, doing hair is just one of those things. I also understand your point with the jeans but these are NOT our children and even though we may cut hair or choose different outfits for our own children (or future children :P ) I don't think we have the right to tell a parent things like this. It has nothing to do with upsetting the parent but more to do with minding our own business. If a parent is doing something that is obviously harming the child than of course I would say something!! Having long bangs and putting them in jeans is not harmful in my eyes.

We don't have to like or even agree with the way parents parent their children but we do have to respect their choices. (in regard to trivial things) In my opinion, it would be similar to a teacher phoning you and telling you that your son's hair is too long and he's always shaking his head to get it out of his eyes and they are worried he's going to hurt his neck (think justin bieber lol) or that your child shouldn't be wearing jeans with holes in them even if they are intentional because it looks messy and they could get cold outside or that your daughter isn't allowed to wear hoop earrings to school because it's a safety concern.

Because we are all our own boss we can obviously make whatever rule we want but if I was a parent looking for a dcp and saw that I was not allowed to send my child in jeans or that their bangs had to be cut or pulled back at all times, I wouldn't even bother. I am much to relaxed of a person to be able to follow those rules.

(I hope this doesn't come across as rude or snarky because that is definitely NOT my intention!! If this is something that truly bothers you and stresses you out than by all means ask the parent to abide by your wishes :) The worse they can say is "No" )

PS. I have a list of pet peeves too so I understand your frustration and your need to vent :)

I agree with 5lm , their child , their choice , but I do understand your frustration !!! I have hair problems here too but I have never done their hair . I guess I never really thought about fixing it , I have sent home some wild haired children !! Lol.
I get the jeans too , I had dcb in skinnies , I took a pic and sent it to dcm , he was going up the slide with his butt hanging out , next day jogging pants ! Lol
I really do not mind how they are dressed , hair ect but I have told dcm do not send them in good clothes as we do play and get messy !

ok, to the person who said its part of the job, well guess what its not. So I have a child who I've had for a a long time. We always do hair here, not a big deal, but lately I've noticed that the child was being put to bed with the same hair do that we did and in the morning being brought here with the elastics still in the hair, never combed hair. They have now become lazy and refused to even take the hair clips out. Well I stopped fixing hair because if they can't take the time to take the clip out at night then why should I take the time to fix it in the morning. Also, I have never had a parent come and offer me hair clips or elastics.

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Originally Posted by 5 Little Monkeys

I understand your side too. I am a dcp as well (obviously lol) and I completely understand your frustrations of having to do something a million times a day. HOWEVER, I chose this career and with it comes annoying things. No different than any other career, there are always going to be things I may not like but I have to do because it's my job that I chose.

FOR ME, doing hair is just one of those things. I also understand your point with the jeans but these are NOT our children and even though we may cut hair or choose different outfits for our own children (or future children :P ) I don't think we have the right to tell a parent things like this. It has nothing to do with upsetting the parent but more to do with minding our own business. If a parent is doing something that is obviously harming the child than of course I would say something!! Having long bangs and putting them in jeans is not harmful in my eyes.

We don't have to like or even agree with the way parents parent their children but we do have to respect their choices. (in regard to trivial things) In my opinion, it would be similar to a teacher phoning you and telling you that your son's hair is too long and he's always shaking his head to get it out of his eyes and they are worried he's going to hurt his neck (think justin bieber lol) or that your child shouldn't be wearing jeans with holes in them even if they are intentional because it looks messy and they could get cold outside or that your daughter isn't allowed to wear hoop earrings to school because it's a safety concern.

Because we are all our own boss we can obviously make whatever rule we want but if I was a parent looking for a dcp and saw that I was not allowed to send my child in jeans or that their bangs had to be cut or pulled back at all times, I wouldn't even bother. I am much to relaxed of a person to be able to follow those rules.

(I hope this doesn't come across as rude or snarky because that is definitely NOT my intention!! If this is something that truly bothers you and stresses you out than by all means ask the parent to abide by your wishes :) The worse they can say is "No" )

PS. I have a list of pet peeves too so I understand your frustration and your need to vent :)

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Does this job come with "annoying" things? Of course but child safety should not be one of them. But I guess I should just mind my own business. Secondly, you would be surprised what school teachers call about. Thirdly I used to be pretty laid back myself but a few years in the childcare industry and there are things I just cannot stand anymore and parents being a little slow to realize what their child's basic needs are is one of them. The jeans comment of course was just an added thing that bothers me but that probably won't ever be mentioned to the parents. It was just to sort of point out that all too often parents do things for their children for vanity vs meeting basic needs. I am never going to impose my will on parents and tell them to cut their kids hair but for crying out loud this is something they should just DO because it's so obvious and I needed to vent about it.

Fun&Care, I understand your need to vent!! I didn't mean to offend or upset anyone with my opinion. I just don't see long bangs as being a huge safety hazard but hopefully the parents clue in soon and cut her hair. I am newer to the hdc business (over 2 years) but I have been in childcare for 6.5 years.

I also totally understand your jean comment. I find infants in jeans to be an odd choice. Toddlers not so much though.

Momofnerds...it was me that made that comment and we will have to agree to disagree. Nothing wrong with that :)

I would temporarily pull the hair back with elastics as well, as reduced vision is a safety issue and I would mention if the child was tripping or bumping into things as a result of the hair. I also get the jeans thing, but not for the sake of how it looks. I have issues with a chunky toddler who almost always comes in wearing skinny jeans, and I can't get them pulled down to change her diaper, as well as she can't properly walk or climb the stairs in them. I have made suggestions to parents, but they didn't catch a clue. I don't mind the jeans if they were loose or had the crotch snaps, so I could change the diaper. My other pet peeve is unclipped fingernails. I am doing all the kids regularly at about 10 day intervals as they are hurting their friends, and I tell parents I did it as they were scratching others/self or me, and my parents don't say thank you or feel embarassed that they forgot to do it. It drives me crazy! O.K. my rant is over!

I'm getting tired of convincing you and really I should just let it go. Her bangs are down to her mouth. If reduced visibility isn't a safety concern to you than I guess we will have to agree to having different standards :) I am more than happy to do this child's hair but not when she is constantly undoing what I do. My interests are the child's well being not the parents. But we will have to agree to disagree won't we :)

Completely understand the annoyance factor of the hair hanging in the face, the tight jeans and the messy hair.
I have the same issues with some of my dck. I almost wonder if any of them are bathed each night TBH. Messy rats nests hair, or hair elastics from the day before left in, clothes too tight dirty faces, long unkept fingernails, horrible diaper rashes every Monday morning... Makes me really wonder. How much extra time really does it take out of your morning to make sure your child is clean and ready for the day?
In regards to the hair in the eyes/safety/bangs issue - I would buy the little braces type elastics from Dollarama, do her hair in a ponytail out of her face and make a point of saying at pick up "I did her hair today since she could barely see while she was painting/colouring, etc hope that you don't mind" and I am sure they would get the hint.

You don't have to convince me. I do understand your frustrations, I really do. I will agree that vision issues is a concern but if the bangs are down to her mouth than I would guess they are growing them out to just be part of the hair and they don't want bangs. That is just a guess though. Like I said, if it bothers you so much than just talk to the parents and see what they say :) Nothing wrong with that.

I didn't realize that voicing my opinion would upset you so much. I am truly sorry for that!

You really need to stop apologizing for your opinion. It really just defeats the purpose. And I am not just referring to this thread but to many others. State your position and leave it. There is nothing wrong with having different opinions...I am ok with that but wanted to give you the full picture of this situation so you could assess it with all the facts. Maybe it's a case of "you just had to be there". I understand it is a touchy subject either way.

LUCKILY dcg actually let me put in an elastic this morning. Previously she would scream and refuse to have one in. So far so good, otherwise I would plan to have a chat about it with her parents tonight. Parents can do whatever the heck they like at home, but when things start to affect ME or a child negatively, I get involved because I am not going to sit here and let the well being of a child slip or risk potential liability for an injury because I want to protect either my relationship with the parents or their ego.

Oh my....This will be my last post on this because it's just becoming silly now. I never apologized for my opinion, I apologized for it upsetting you (which is not my fault but I am polite and thought it was the right thing to do, I guess I was wrong) I state my opinion/thougts but when someone replies back, I will as well. It's called having a conversation...or at least that's what I thought it was. My main priority is always the safety of children. I have had plenty of conversations with parents over the years that then in turn made our relationship awkward for a bit or hurt their ego but that is bound to happen and will happen plenty of more times throughout my career. I'm okay with that as it comes with the job.

Anyways, just wanted to say my peace and I am now moving on. :)

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Originally Posted by 5 Little Monkeys

I understand your side too. I am a dcp as well (obviously lol) and I completely understand your frustrations of having to do something a million times a day. HOWEVER, I chose this career and with it comes annoying things. No different than any other career, there are always going to be things I may not like but I have to do because it's my job that I chose.

FOR ME, doing hair is just one of those things. I also understand your point with the jeans but these are NOT our children and even though we may cut hair or choose different outfits for our own children (or future children :P ) I don't think we have the right to tell a parent things like this. It has nothing to do with upsetting the parent but more to do with minding our own business. If a parent is doing something that is obviously harming the child than of course I would say something!! Having long bangs and putting them in jeans is not harmful in my eyes.

We don't have to like or even agree with the way parents parent their children but we do have to respect their choices. (in regard to trivial things) In my opinion, it would be similar to a teacher phoning you and telling you that your son's hair is too long and he's always shaking his head to get it out of his eyes and they are worried he's going to hurt his neck (think justin bieber lol) or that your child shouldn't be wearing jeans with holes in them even if they are intentional because it looks messy and they could get cold outside or that your daughter isn't allowed to wear hoop earrings to school because it's a safety concern.

Because we are all our own boss we can obviously make whatever rule we want but if I was a parent looking for a dcp and saw that I was not allowed to send my child in jeans or that their bangs had to be cut or pulled back at all times, I wouldn't even bother. I am much to relaxed of a person to be able to follow those rules.

(I hope this doesn't come across as rude or snarky because that is definitely NOT my intention!! If this is something that truly bothers you and stresses you out than by all means ask the parent to abide by your wishes :) The worse they can say is "No" )

PS. I have a list of pet peeves too so I understand your frustration and your need to vent :)

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I missed looking at this post the last day or two and thought I would comment since I was the one that wrote that I would ask them to give their bangs a trim.

I HAVE had to be that teacher that sent notes home to the parent saying that they need to send healthier food in their child's lunches, that they need to wear appropriate clothes, and I would also mention if I felt their hair was a distraction in school (like the Justin Beiber hair style).

It sucks having to do these things sometimes, because you don't want to offend anyone, but at the end of the day my job includes the safety and well being of the child in all ways. Yes, hair that is hanging down in a child's eyes is a safety concern and should be addressed if it becomes obvious that the parent is not addressing it. So I would take that extra step to make everyone have a better day, if it affects everyone's daily life then I don't see why it can't be brought up. I don't see how it is any different than telling a parent what kind of winter clothing they need to provide, or that the mitts they sent are no good for playing outside.

I am a very laid back person too, but I am also not afraid to speak up if something isn't working. For how much time these kids spend with us, along with a herd of other kids to care for, the last thing I would want to do is fuss every day with a daycare child's hair - I already have two kids of my own to groom and that is enough work already.

You don't have to respond to this post 5 Little Monkeys if you don't want to, as you had stated you were done, but I just thought I would post again since it looks like I was the one that "stirred the pot" in this thread.

Couldn't agree more AmandaKDT. By the way I don't think you stirred the pot at all...I was suggesting from the OP that her hair should be cut. And for the record, I didn't mean any disrespect at all about teachers sending notes. Unfortunately sometimes we as teachers/ providers have to be the one to clue in the parents. It sucks to be in that position but obviously we take the child's well being to heart and want what's best for them. I think that's what bugs me the most and what I was trying to get at all along...I feel I am being put in an awkward position to get the parents to do something they should have figured out themselves a long time ago and I feel like I will be the bad guy for bringing it up. Not my favorite part of the job. I have had to nudge these parents several times about many things. It's just ridiculous after a while and I tire of being in that position. I feel like I am parenting the parents :(

For myself I don't see what the big deal is in putting the child's hair up yourself it is bothers you. It doesn't have to be a beautiful ponytail and if you do it tight enough with the non slip elastics the child should not be able to take it out.

As a parent who is in the middle of growing out my child's bangs and struggling with different clips and ponytails to keep her hair from going in her face all day I would be offended if her pre-school teacher hinted that I should cut her bangs.

There are certain things that are a must in my daycare and I have them in my contract. No overalls, no jewelry and no flip flops unless they have backs on them. There are things that annoy me - for example - I HATE onsies!! I really do but I certainly don't think it is something that I can ask the parents not to dress their child in.

Each to their own though. If the hair is that big of an issue then maybe put in your policy that all hair must be pulled up and away from the face.