Can you ask a provider not to wear perfume?

I got an email today from a friend with an interesting question, I figured I'd pass it off to you ladies:

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So this is something I never thought I would be posting about. As you may have seen from my other message, I started day care this week. Things seem to be going well. She already seems to have I on more of a schedule. He is sleeping way better. He has been taking 3 naps there and going to bed for me a lot earlier than he did and sleeping longer. Did anyone else experience this with daycare?

Then to my other question. His daycare provider wears way too much perfume. Somehow I hadn't noticed before when we met her, but now I am over powered by it. The worst is Itotally smells like her perfume when he gets home (at least I know she is holding him, right?). Yesterday I gave him a bath and changed his clothes and he still smelled like her perfume. I hate it. I should say I am sensitive to smells. I had to rewash all the baby clothes my mom washed for me because she used scented detergent and I am the one turning off those automatic air scent sprayers in my work bathroom when no one is around.

Should I say something? I don't know her that well and we also have a bit of a communication barrier because her English isn't great. WWIBCC do?

Am I over reacting? Should I let it go?

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I would personally say something, as I myself am sensitive to smells. Hell, I can't go on public transit because I get instant migraines!

I don't know what I'd say though...she's in a tough spot...

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Originally Posted by mamaof4

I got an email today from a friend with an interesting question, I figured I'd pass it off to you ladies:

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Just tell her to let her know it makes her sensative and she gets bad headaches from the smell of perfume & she is worried her son may have a similar allergy.

Just the thought of it is making me feel ill, I get migraines from strong smells too!

In this day and age of concerns about smells, perfumes, odours, and allergies and restrictions in most public places I think it is ok to say something. Also since it bothers you that much and does present a potential if not real threat to your child then you have two choices - hope she changes her methods or give her notice and find another caregiver and make use of scents part of the interview.

I would say something at drop off, super casual about the sensitivity but not directed at her. Something like, "I had a terrible headache all night and couldnt sleep, I have an allergy to perfume and strong scents. Lately it's been worse and worse" I'm sure she will get the hint or at least be more aware. Good luck

I would say something. I would be apologetic (even if I felt that she was wearing too much anyway), and explain that I just had a really bad sensitivity that I should have mentioned. And I would make sure that I also mention those positives that she talked about too!! IE: the easier bedtimes, etc. So that she knows it's not about her, or the care that she is giving.

hmmm, this is a tough one.
I myself also get migraines if I am around anyone who wears it. I have always let my Daycare parents know not to wear it before coming into my house.

On the other hand however, as a provider who is working out of my own home, running my own business,I don't think I would like to be told not to wear it.
I know this may not be what I'm"supposed" to say but that's just my opinion.

Good luck !

I think, as a provider, if a parent told me they had a sensitivity to it, I would not mind leaving perfume for the weekends (I don't wear it anyway, but if I did). Most workplaces are nwo scent free, so it doesn't seem out of line to me that this could be extended to our workplaces which happen to be our homes. Of course, she has the right to say no as she does make the rules for her daycare, but then you have the right to look elsewhere.

I would have to agree with Sunflower, in the respect that I am self employeed individual and I set the ground rules for my business. It is up to the parents to make an informed decision during the interview process.

I wear perfume daily, if a daycare family even politely requested that I stop wearing my perfume, I would have to consider termination as an option. I love wearing my perfume.

With that being said, I am super sensitive to most perfumes and I have found only 3 perfumes that I can wear. Very few people will even notice that I am wearing my daily perfume it is so soft. I also wear this perfume to places that I know are scent free and no one has ever noticed ;) I would never request that daycare parent stop wearing perfume/calogne because I have a sensitivity to it. It has happened and continues to happen that I will have children who come in smelling like their parents and I have to work very hard to get past the smell of the child to provide appropriate childcare.

BUT during an interview I will request that if a family is partial to Ivory snow laundry detergent and are not willing to switch that I can not accept their child, clothes washed in it will burn me.

I guess my advice to parents is to ask about smellies before making your final decision on childcare, if you are scent sensitive find a provider who doesn't wear perfumes or use perfume style air freshners in their home. Or discuss compromises prior to childcare commencing when it isn't as personal. The perfume that you may be trying to gently ask your provider to stop wearing maybe part of the caregivers morning ritual that she looks forward to the most, or she might wear that perfume becuase her husband gave it to her and he is away, or she has fond memories from the smell which brighten her morning .....

I wouldn't like my kids to smell perfume too much as I am scents sensitive and odor for me is a big thing. But I would have never thought of asking this question!! Should definitely have though!

I got a few visits from really nice smelling parents and kids, but smelling too strong. It bothers my nose! lol!!! So I never called them back.

To answer you question, I would tell her, the way you told us. Tell her you do not want to lose her, tell her you didn't think about asking this perfume question but now that you are faced with the nice smell but too strong for you, you sure would appreciate if she wore less or none.

Sarah

hmmmm this is a tough one. First I think its a little odd that she is wearing so much to begin with working all day with little children that are typically more sensitive to smells. Second you have to say something because it will drive you crazy. But third, you would probably offend her because really there isn't much of a nice way to say it. Maybe just tell her straight up-pray she doesn't get too offended, and try to make it a light situation if that makes any sense. :unsure:

My Mom wore the same perfume for like 20 years, and near the last few years she could not smell it very much, so she LOADED it on LOL. I think our noses can get used to smells and maybe that's why she wears more??

Tough situation. I myself don't wear perfume but I do have those automatic air fresheners in my home and I use fabric softener in my laundry. I would honestly be offended if someone asked me to switch or not to use any. It is my home and my business. I would say that you should just try and get used to it or find someone else. You also mentioned that there is a language barrier as she doesn't speak much English so you also need to remember that in her culture strong smells could be the norm.

I too get migraines from scents so if someone asked me to stop or change or decrease the scents I do use in my home, I would have to tell them no as these are the scents I can tolerate.

Honestly, if a parent asked me this, I would think of them as high maintenance and not be very happy. If it bothers you this much than I think it is up to you to find another dcp as this is her home and I don't think you have the right to ask her to not wear perfume.

I would ask for her to not wear around your child. I'm my opinion and this is mine not passing judgment on those who don't agree is that children don't need to be exposed to more chemicals then they already are.

I wear perfume but my own children are older now and I never wore allot where if need to re wash clothing.

I would suggest to your provider that it's a bit to much and if she couldn't wear or wore less due to sensitive you are I'm sure she will understand.

You should phrase it in the most kind, politest, non-confrontational way possible. DO NOT tell her she is wearing too much, DO NOT ask her to stop wearing it. Bring it up and ask her if she thinks there is any solution she can think of. She will likely volunteer to wear less or stop wearing it during work hours. Approach her as though you are asking her for her advice on the matter, not as though you are telling her what to do.

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Originally Posted by daycaremum

You should phrase it in the most kind, politest, non-confrontational way possible. DO NOT tell her she is wearing too much, DO NOT ask her to stop wearing it. Bring it up and ask her if she thinks there is any solution she can think of. She will likely volunteer to wear less or stop wearing it during work hours. Approach her as though you are asking her for her advice on the matter, not as though you are telling her what to do.

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That would be a very professional way to go about it.
With adults or children, they will change easier if they feel it's their choice or idea.