Adjustment period

I have a new dcb that started part time last week, he just turned 1 and has never been in a playpen and never left alone for any period of time. If mom or dad are going to the washroom or showering, the little guy is inside the bathroom with them. He also sleeps in this "cocoon" thing. I have asked her to get a playpen and have him in it for 10 - 15 min. at a time, which she did, but she's still in the room with him, so when he's here and I have to put him in the play pen to answer the door, he loses his mind on me and screams and screams. He's terrified of being alone. Also I refused to use anything like this sleeping "thing" she has as he does not even fit into it anymore, he legs are all scrunched up and I did not think this was a good way to have him go down for his nap. My question is, what do you think the average amount of time is for a newbie to "adjust" I honestly have always (or most always) had the little ones start anywhere after 6 months of age, so by one, they are so adapted to my home, my other children, my schedule etc. it's been so long since I've taken one that is already one and has never had anyone but mom, dad or grandparents watch him. Just wondering what would be a "normal" amount of time to give him to adjust before thinking he may never :(

I think the average adjustment period is usually 2-4 weeks in my experience. Some are faster and some can take a bit longer. if he is part-time, it could take a couple of months though depending on how many days per week he is with you. I wouldn't allow a cocoon (I am guessing this is a baby hammock) at daycare either as there is too much potential for the child to fall out, be pushed out, etc. It sounds like it will be a slow and long adjustment if he has never been left alone or been in a playpen. Are you open to having him in a carrier on your back at busy times such as when kids are arriving and leaving? I do this with new babies and I find it helps them feel secure and safe and bond with me until they are fully used to the new routines. Good luck!

Poor boy!! I don't know why parents don't think of these things when raising their child. It is so hard on them to transition into daycare!

Is he screaming all the time? Is he napping for you? I would say normal transition is around 2 weeks. I have terminated though after 3 days for a boy who screamed bloody murder from the second he got here until I called mom half way through naptime. My new boy took a bit longer to adjust than usual, it was about 3-4 weeks but I could see improvement the whole time.

Do what feels right for you.

He is definitely to heavy for me to carry him on my back so can't do that. The "cocoon" thingy he has been sleeping in at home looks like sleeper, but with no leg openings, it's like a pouch and he goes in there and his arms go out the arm holes and it zips up to his neck so he cannot move much at all. Then he's wrapped all up like the wrap infants up when they are born. I think he is way to big for this, he is already a year old. I did send home some information on sleep training as it's my guess he does not know how to put himself to sleep without one of them rocking or soothing. He is one so he should know how to fall asleep on his own. I agree waiting until 3 days before,you return to work to look for daycare is not helping the child out at all. I told the mom I would give it 2 - 3 weeks to see improvement and if nine, he would not be able to stay in my daycare...it's to,upsetting to the other children especially when they really do not see much crying here at all. If you had a small,one adjusting, did you speak to the other dcp about this or not say anything

All my parents always know when a new child is starting and what age so they can realize that there will be some adjustment. I also refuse to carry a child at all. I always wonder what parents actually think is going to happen when they go to work.

The cocoon thing is called a sleep sac .... I've had a few who used them when they started here and I quickly transitioned them out of it (usually within a month its gone) .... Generally for a full time child it takes about 2-3 weeks to transition but part time and one who's parents have really done nothing to prepare them probably longer.... It will depend if the parents are going to help or if they are going to continue to coddle.

I am not sure who I feel more sorry for- you or this little boy!! :(
I also don't understand how parents can raise a child one way for an entire year, and then go back to work and think he/she will magically adjust to an environment that is vastly different than what they have seen so far.
I would be okay with the sleep-sack, if it fit him properly. He should have room to stretch his legs straight. I would not be swaddling a one year old.
And I would make sure mom and dad understand the difference between home and daycare. You will not be carrying him everywhere. You will not be in his sight for every minute of all day. And so on.
I think he will adjust eventually. Almost all kids do. But as for a timeline- that is so hard to say.
Wishing you good luck!!

It sounds like he is in a Woombie, which is snug like a swaddle but stretchy. They are intended for newborns!

I assume it is not a sleep sac...I actually have all my families provide them as it is chilly in the winter and we have central A/C in the summer so it helps the kids sleep better, in my experience. If it's a woombie, which is very stretchy and snug it is meant for newborns and is meant to help limit their startle reflex from waking them. They are not meant for children that can roll and it restrains their arms. There are many variations of these...meant to help children sleep but aside from a sleepsac which provides warmth and does not limit movement there is no need for one at 1 year of age.

Sadly the transition period for this child could be much longer than the average child. It will depend on their personality. I have a little one here that sounds rather similar, at 12month when he started he could not support his own weight on his feet, even with help. He had just never had the opportunity. His personality was perfect for group care and he is thriving and needs minimal attention (holding etc) throughout the day. He sucks as a sleeper but is otherwise a very happy, social and involved little guy.

I would just keep in mind that this child really is panic when you leave the room because he has never experienced that. He will get used to it, it will just be a lot harder on him and therefore on you and the other children. It really sucks that the family didn't think this through before starting him in daycare as they really made it much harder on the little guy by not preparing him for group care.

Also keep in mind that the majority of families that come to use having raised their child like this will not change because we tell them too and they will often say they are doing as you ask when they are still doing it their way. This is why I offer tips and idea but don't try to make them change anything. Kids quickly learn what is expected of them in different houses with different people. It's not worth my trying to insist they do it my way the child just learns to do it my way here. Point being...the child may not be in the play pen at home as much as you think he is so just train him to be in it as if he's never been in one before.

How part time is he? In my contract and policies, my transition period is 4 weeks for full time and 8 weeks for part time. Kids do not normally take this long (ft usually 2 weeks and pt usually 3) but it gives me and the parents the opportunity to try things out and make adjustments if necessary. Part timers can be REALLY hard to transition depending on the frequency they attend and their personality. That's why I give them longer.

Have you thought about having him come for 2 weeks full time? Give him an opportunity to get used to you and the others and then revert back to part time?

Is he napping? Eating? If he was doing these things, I would be inclined to give it a bit more time.

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Originally Posted by AcornsFalling

It sounds like he is in a Woombie, which is snug like a swaddle but stretchy. They are intended for newborns!

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I have never heard of a woombie!!!!

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Originally Posted by nschildcare

How part time is he? In my contract and policies, my transition period is 4 weeks for full time and 8 weeks for part time. Kids do not normally take this long (ft usually 2 weeks and pt usually 3) but it gives me and the parents the opportunity to try things out and make adjustments if necessary. Part timers can be REALLY hard to transition depending on the frequency they attend and their personality. That's why I give them longer.

Have you thought about having him come for 2 weeks full time? Give him an opportunity to get used to you and the others and then revert back to part time?

Is he napping? Eating? If he was doing these things, I would be inclined to give it a bit more time.

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nschildcare- I like that you have an outlined timeline for transitions. Can I ask how you word this? I have an interview this week and I was to outline this as well :)

I have a section in my policies about transition periods. I outline the length. I state that a parent can leave for any reason during the transition but they forfeit the fees. I state that I can withdraw care for any reason during the transition and will return fees. This is all immediate and with no notice. I think that's fair.... no one wants to be stuck in a horrible situation. I give a little blurb about what transitioning is... giving the child a chance to adapt to the group, letting the provider get to know their child, etc.

During the interview, I always let parents know that it will never come as a surprise if I decline to continue care as I will keep in contact with them and let them know how their little one is doing. I also explain that some kids transition quite easily, some take a bit longer, but with communication we can usually work these out well within the time frame.

I also go over my quick drop off policy at this time. Especially if they are unsure how their child will react.