She wants to pay me on a different day than everyone else -- should I let her?

Hey everyone! All the parents in my day care -- except one -- pay me every second Monday, for the two weeks coming. I've had a LOT of feedback from parents saying, "Oh, I can't pay that Monday, because my pay day was the week before." It seems like it's impossible for them to set the money aside that they will need to pay me and not touch it until the day their bill is due.

Well, I've worked it out with all the parents and everyone has been running smoothly. Except this one mom, we'll call her C. C insists on paying me on HER pay days -- so, for example, this April my pay days were the 14th and the upcoming 28th. But because she gets paid on the 15th and last day of every month, she told me she couldn't pay me until Tuesday (not the Monday), and she won't be able to pay me until the Wednesday instead of the Monday next week.

This is annoying for me because I'd like to have everyone pay me on the same day -- that way I don't have to wait to do my money managing, divvying up my money do my different bills and expenses and bank accounts. Plus, if I want to have any automatic withdrawals set up this wouldn't really be possible unless everyone is paying me on the same day.

I've brought this up to her before but she hasn't really been cooperative. I feel like if you can't manage your money enough to save what you need to pay your day care and not touch it until you pay me, then you have major money management issues!

Should I just put a letter in her child's diaper bag that states that from now on, all parents will be paying me every second Monday (and make a list of dates from now until the new year) or they'll be subject to my late fee ($20)? Or try to talk to her about it again? English is not her first language, and I don't know if that's why but she can often come across as very blunt. (For example, I needed the address of her child's father, and she said, "I'm not giving you that. He doesn't even live in this town." I was kind of taken aback.)

My day-care coordinator who got me licensed says whenever she used to have to deal with payment issues, she wouldn't talk about it to the parent face to face but just put a letter in the child's bag. That way she could keep the face to face interactions strictly positive.

What are your opinions?

I would send her a letter and add that late payment fees will apply when payment is not done the scheduled days. By paying you at the middle and at the end of the month she is paying you less per year than the other parents (if you are not adjusting her rate). I would be more concern about that than she not following your rules. If you charge for example $350 per week, assuming that you are paid the whole year (52 weeks or 26 bi-weekly payments) you are paid $9,100 ($350 by 26 bi-weekly payments). If you are paid twice per month as this mom is doing you are getting $8,400 ($350 by 2 times per month by 12 months). She is paying $700 less per year than the others. She is skipping 2 bi-weekly payments per year!

Here parents paid on the same schedule, not exceptions. Since I get better organized this way.

Gosh, I never even factored that in! Thank you!

I'm shocked actually. I have never ever had a parent ask to pay on a different day and they certainly have never asked to have a different payday than all the other parents. Here, every 2nd Friday payment is due, no exceptions. If they don't pay, their child doesn't come until the bill is paid. I charge two weeks in advance so that I am not providing a service first and than not getting paid.

I would put the note in her bag explaining that these are the paydays and that there are no exceptions to this. If she is not willing to abide by the contract she will have to find alternate care.

I make up a letter every year with all the payment days on it and give this to each new family so that they always know. I also list the stats on this letter so they are informed well ahead of time. I know that some of my parents find the dc bill huge but that isn't my problem. If they have signed on with me they know that this is the fee I charge and they have to pay it.

I say this is your business so it's your rules. If you let her dictate when she pays you then how long before she starts sending you other changes she wishes to make.

Is it just me, or does slipping a letter in the diaper bag for them to discover when they get home kind of passive. What if they have issue with it? Do you wait for them to bring it up?

It just feels weird to me that they would come and pick up their child, you would smile and say have a good night and then have them find out at home that you have an issue with them? I think I would be irritated if that happened to me, especially from a home daycare provider that only has a handful of kids. Maybe it would be a different situation if it were a daycare center where there maybe be varying staff interacting with parents on a daily basis.

Maybe giving the letter along with a face to face conversation, so they have the info to take home with them.

But, for sure you can set the payment dates and it is up to the parent to make it work on their end financially. It is their responsibility, not yours.

I would just tell her that your paydays are your paydays and no she can't pay you on a different day. Maybe she needs to budget differently - not your problem.

Tell her face to face. Don't back down. If we don't enforce our own policies then who will!

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Originally Posted by mickyc

I would just tell her that your paydays are your paydays and no she can't pay you on a different day. Maybe she needs to budget differently - not your problem.

Tell her face to face. Don't back down. If we don't enforce our own policies then who will!

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agreed!!!!

Hey everyone! So I did type up a letter, explaining the situation, but I also talked to her about it face to face. I could tell she was pretty annoyed. I told her that I need everyone to pay me on the same day because I am running a small business and need to do bookkeeping and be organized. She argued for a bit about how she doesn't think it's going to work out now because she is going to have a hard time setting that money aside. I told her that I understand, but that the other parents have to do the exact same thing. She just kept saying she'd try but that she wasn't sure it would work out -- she even said that she definitely won't be able to for the next pay day (April 30). I told her we could start the pay day after that but she was still pretty argumentative. I just told her that I have budgeting that I need to do too, and I need everyone to pay me on the same day.

She's in her early forties. And yet she can't just set aside the $350 and not touch it? I get that she's a single mom, but she is getting child support payments from BOTH fathers of her two children, and she works full-time. I want to be a kind person, and try to help people as much as I can, but this is still my business and I need to do what works for me. I'd hate to lose a client over this but she seems pretty set against it.

I think it's pretty crazy that she came right out and said she wouldn't be able to this time, and then started complaining about the late fee I'd have to charge her. That's why I told her I could start for the next payment after that. But ugh. She doesn't seem very happy.

Also, she told me, "You said at the beginning that this would be fine", when in actuality what I told her is that we would see how it goes and we would try to work it out. Well, now that I'm licensed I want to be 100% professional, and that means no one gets special treatment. I also want to be 100% organized with my bookkeeping!

Hi Seven,

Realistically licensed or private you need to do what you need to do right? I do not change my pay dates for anyone. If they are late they have up to 14 days to pay (with a late fee attached for every day) and then the spot is filled and they are sent to collections for no pay.

I have had parents that pay bi weekly (because that is what they feel they need to do) but payment is always due on the 30th of every month by 5 pm, regardless of what their pay days are.

Hey everyone, so she sent me a big long text, and essentially she is fine with doing it, but is still very grumbly and complainy. But that's not my issue! Thanks for all your advice!