What I really think.....

I have been around this forum for a very long time, and I have to say..and this is not drama seeking...That I am very intimidated to post my views on a variety of topics, as I know I will be "razed" or "taken to the cleaners for my POV." These are my feelings I am not saying I am better than any of you, I simply need to say this.

A number of you have posted that it gets you angry, when parents leave their kids with you, and they are not working....I have to say....So??? I know that you don't like when others say it, but I will anyway. Our doors are open to provide a service, and as long as policies are being followed, and you are truly not being taken for a fool what is the big deal?

When my child was with a provider, I sent my child on all open days, because the spot after all was reserved for our family use. And he loved having the time with his daycare friends, and the provider was someone he really loved....

Now that being said I certainly did not throw it in my DCP's face that this is what I was doing; but to be honest, I didn't want to "hurt her" or be told that this was wrong or be made to feel guilty. So I was not honest about the days that were not being used for non work purposes. But she could always contact someone in the event of an urgent matter, or emergency....Because Let's face it some of you have shared your opinion about this, and if she feels like any of you...I did not want to be confronted about why my child was not at home.

I respected her rules, did not arrive early etc, all the stuff I was supposed to do, so why am I being "chastised" for using my spot? (Based on some of the posts I read) Contrary to what you may think after reading this part of my post my child is very much loved, and knows that we as parents are here for him, anytime he needs us.

We did not dump our toddler his daycare and leave the kid there right until closing time. We told him what time we would be back, and kept our word almost every time, and when we were not able to be there we explained that to him as best as we could... in terms that he could understand. (not often)

Fast forward to 2014, he is now a school ager, who is confident in himself, others, and someone who understands when others need to step in...(for example in school or sports) as authority figures. He has no trouble making friends, or understanding that both his mom and dad love him...There is not a doubt in his mind. He tells me how much he loves us every day, and is well adjusted in every aspect of social and educational development.

And guess what he goes to camp, we go places without him, and he takes healthy risk his teachers are impressed about his emotional awareness, all of that...... He is well liked, and does not have the behavioral issues that some have alluded to in their forum posts, and vents....

I do not expect parents to give me a day off, if their family are the only ones in care today, I make the best of it. I have taken a "lone dck" shopping, to movies etc, and parents know that the routine is more relaxed if they are the only one in attendance. I have had parents elect that their child stay with them if everyone else is absent, but it is not an expectation. I am not at all offended that children are attached to me, it shows that I am doing my job, and that these children can show healthy emotions to those who help them in the early years of their childhood.

On the other hand if a parent is not respecting my policies, and is consistently abusing the privilege of their space that I have issue with, and it is only a matter of time before they are terminated regardless of how they elect to "use the child care space."

It is not my job to police parenting or judge, as there comes a time in everyone's life, where they will face something and just need someone to be there without bias or judgment. Do I have opinions about my daycare families?.... yes, but for the most part they know what those are and I am open enough to tell them how I feel.....(unless it is pointless to share)

You may ask if this leads to "resentment" no....Really it doesn't, in fact these parents trust me enough to leave the child with me overnight, during an adult only vacation, or when they are ill... (the parent) The type of relationship I have with my clients is one of trust, and that is what I value most..... (I also not provide any of my services for free, and am paid fairly for what I do)

It makes me feel sad that I cannot post this under my real name, because of bullies who will tell me that I am out of my gourd for doing extra, or that I am a unicorn provider with rainbows coming out of my butt....

I am just a realistic person, I mean really, its what works for me... and I should not be made to feel that I suck because I have these opinions, I am rather just someone who does her best. Her best to leave her judgy pants off, (in regards to parenting style, etc) while finding a great balance between identity, marriage and family.

I am sorry to hear that you are scared to post! Even though I don't always agree with what people say (online and in person!), I hope I never come across as intimidating and make people scared to tell me their honest opinions!! It is always okay to disagree with someone's POV but it's not okay to make them feel ashamed or guilty of it or that they have to hide their true opinions.

I think you sound like a great parent and have raised a great kid :)

In regard to this specific issue....I have had plenty of parents take the day off and still send their child. As long as they aren't here past closing time, it's really not a big deal in the big picture. I have never had a family take holidays and not take their child though so I can't comment on that. Even though I may complain about how some families do things, I do logically know that it's not up to me and how they parent their child is their decision. I may vent from time to time to a friend or my fiance but I can honestly say that I love my job and spend more time talking about that than I do complaining.

Great post MyRealThoughs and I stated early on in the thread that went wild that I understand that parents feel that if they are paying for their space (and they are paying full fees no matter what) that they can use the space and take a day off for themselves for whatever reason. It happens all the time. All I ask is to know how to reach them in case of an emergency and I appreciate it when they use a short day, 7 or 8 hours, not 9, no problem.

You definitely put your finger on the problem on this site and I may get flamed for saying it out loud too, but bullying happens here. It's the reason I don't post any more and have taken a long break. Admin needs to take a long hard look at the way this site is run and soon!

Ha ha...we're all anonymous here! I think that is what makes people meaner than they would be in real life!! Don't worry about it. Seriously....you don't need to care what a faceless username thinks of you!

I don't post that often but have no problem sharing my opinions....and I am usually the one saying "who gives a furry rats bum" ha ha!! I don't bitch about my clients because I honestly
don't care what they do with their lives. I am way too old for that nonsense.

This can be a lonely, boring job sometimes. I think this leads to people stirring shite so they have something to amuse them. They can because it ALWAYS works.

We all know that no one should feel this way about a forum, but the truth is some do, and nothing is really done to stop the non sense...Some just post under a new name, and others you're right are crap disturbers......

But why is it that there seems to be such nepotism, I mean really...I have been called out for moaning and told to grow a pair, while others can moan without consequence and are told its ok and that people are here for them....? I can see that there are favorites here, and daycare space opinions aside, that's what I think.

I think the thing about this post is we do get to voice our opinions !! There are those that disagree and are forward in how they present their opinions but who cares ? I like to read and see the different way people see and view issues ! I like the experience that is presented in this forum ! I feel bad that you do not reveal who you are ! I know what you are saying about the issue of parents dropping off and having a free day , I read that post ( can't remember if I posted) and remember disagreeing but understanding !! A day off is a nice surprise !! The responses were varied and opinionated !! I strive to become a unicorn provider !!! Lol
I hope you feel friendship and non judgement from me ! I also feel too old to think I am right or have the answers to life's problems !!

Thank you for your post and please be assured that there will always be someone else who shares your viewpoints. (Even if quietly from the safety of their own home. LOL.) I too have no problem with a parent leaving a child while they aren't at work. I know that all of my little ones are loved and well cared for. I see the proof everyday. In fact-maybe I'm the odd one here but I'll say it anyways- lots of my kids are/ have been part time with stay at home moms. They come to me to learn to be social, to get used to other adults and so that they are prepared for school. Not only that but if they miss a day that they've paid for (get ready for it) I allow them to make up that day if I have another available space open during the week.

I don't know if I'll be able to get my point across very well, but I'll try. I didn't realize there was anyone picking sides, or making anyone feel like their opinion is wrong. However, now that I know there are people who aren't comfortable sharing the way they run their daycare, I am truly wishing they will start to share. I feel myself, and probably many others, would benefit from hearing all these other opinions.

I thought the anonymous poster worded that beautifully and echoed my own sentiments on the subject.

I have nothing more to say on that matter; she nailed it. I believe we're on the same page :)

It's not that I care about it as much as I do not want anything to get out of hand, or judged.

Too, I am someone who is here for my daycare families; but that does not mean I allow my business to take over my life.

I am well rested, book vacation etc.

I know that some who post against doing extra or about daycare spaces have different thoughts than I do, and that's okay, but your way isn't my way and that's what makes us all independent business, yes?

myrealthoughts - please don't feel like you cannot post! I agree I didn't think we were "picking sides". The whole point of this forum is to express our views and feelings. We won't all agree with each other and that is OK. I am one who disagrees with you. Just as I have posted on the other thread on this topic I do not like the "I am paying you therefore I will send my child no matter what" attitude. My example of this is the poor boy who was forced to come to daycare while older sibling got to go to grandma's house. This grandma was one he did not see regularly and it was not a case of grandma not wanting him but because she was not allowed to take him because "they were paying me!". Another family - same thing, grandparents never were allowed to have the children for a week or few days because they were paying for them to be here. Maybe I have just had a bad group of families but I still believe there is nothing more wonderful than a "special" unexpected day at home with mom/dad/grandparents. Yes they are paying me but they don't have to make sure they are here to get their money's worth.

We can all share opinions and feelings and they don't have to be the same. We all have different life experiences that have caused us to have the views we do. Neither is right or wrong. The site is a great place for everyone to share those feelings and experiences and to hear different points of view.

I think the main problem could be that the poster (with the crazy thread) ended up clumping us all together and calling people names and such. I think they just wanted to come here and cause problems. You can post and like I tell people, if you don't like what is said, you can move on, its a computer just step away. We all have reasons why we do things, but this one poster said that we need to spend every single waking moment with our kids (she should come hang out with my own teenage crowd, she'll be singing a different tune) so post away and don't be afraid.

I must be out of the loop then , I didn't read any of that !!
I think it's easy to sit and comment on how we would do things and should do things when we are not involved in the situation .
Your business is yours to run , same as me ! If I get advice I use it to help me decide what to do , if I advise someone I try to be helpful and put myself in their shoes , not just go off with , " you need to do this !!!!" Kind of attitude !
We all have different personalities and experiences and that can effect how we present our "help"
We all have to have a balance of running our dayhomes and keeping our families happy and we all give in and change our policies whenever we feel the need or desire ! I certainly have allowed things that I know some might say on this forum ," not to do " but ultimately it is up to me to decide what I do , I personally do not get upset when people disagree or do not like what I'm saying . Maybe it's age or personality ( raised in an Italian home with 2 sisters lol )
I hope you feel more confidence expressing your opinions especially with all the support you have received !!!
:-)