HELP! Throwing Up

I recently took in a 13 month old daycare child that is here once a week. The parents seems to be practising their version of attachment parenting. Which makes things a bit difficult when transitioning. But I am fine with the crying. However, she throws up on demand. Before 8am this I had already cleaned up three things of throw up. It is taking away from the other children, and is not sanitary. I am not sure what to do. The parents know that she vomits on demand when she is not being paid attention to or is upset. I cant get her to have a nap, so she is exhausted on top of everything. I have a few things, but do you all have any suggestions?

A child who throws up goes home end of story. I had a boy who would throw up when eating just because he didn't want to sit down and eat - playing was too much fun. I kept phoning mom for pick up. She soon got tough on this behaviour and it quit.

I have enough things to do and to clean up at the end of the day, throw up is not one of them!! I don't care if it is on demand - not here!!

Sorry but vomiting based on demand, nope, won't have it. It's one of the few habits, I won't even try to tackle. I know it's not fair but vomit is my personal weakness. Hate it, was crap when my own kids were vomiting if sick but I cannot tolerate a habitual puker.

No day care parent will ever have enough money to pay me to deal with this habit.

Well there are a few things working against you. First of all the fact that the child is only with you once a week provides zero consistency and very few children actually transition well if completely when only coming once a week. On top of that this child is an AP child which means even more inconsistency between the relationship with the parent compared to group care. Put these together and it really isn't suprising that this child is vomiting on demand for attention when they have been raised with a variation of AP theory. Honestly, I think this parent needs to send for at least three days a week and start adopting a "detachment parenting" routine at home in the best interest of the child being able to settle at your place, or...you need to terminate. I think it's highly unlikely that this child will change. Not impossible but at what price to you, the other children and the child in question. 1 day a week doesn't provide enough of a chance to change habits. One day a week inconsistency at daycare plus attachment parenting issues to begin with when it comes to going into a group care setting would have personally had me saying no from the start. I know for some of us, if not a lot of us filling spots has been tough, but for 1 day a week are you able to terminate if the parents aren't willing and/or able to send more frequently to give their child a fighting chance of adjusting?

I most certainly can afford to terminate. She is filling the one space that I have with one of my 4 day per week children. And the only reason I am trying to hold on longer then usual, is because the mother is friends with another one of my full timers. The 1 day child came as a referral.

Thanks ladies. I think that I needed to hear it for someone else. I was just talking it over with my hubby and said the exact same thing:

a) she needs to attend at least 3 days per week
b) she needs to attend daddy and me classes where she can get used to having the shared attention, and not throwing up.
c) the parents need to STOP. The child will not sleep because she is used to sleeping on daddys chest
d) Throwing up= home

Yikes, I am sorry you are dealing with that!! I am also one of those who can not handle puke!! I've dealt with a lot of crap in all my years in child and healthcare but puke is the worst!! I have vomited myself after cleaning it up!! lol

I have had a few kids spit up/puke at daycare and if I KNEW for sure the reason (crying too hard, gagged on food etc) I have allowed them stay but for the most part, puking at daycare is an instant reason to go home. I feel for this child because her behaviour sounds like it's a direct result from her parenting but cleaning up puke that many times in just the morning alone would not make me happy and I'd call for pick up. I'd also explain to them that it's just not feasible for me to have someone like their child in my daycare for sanitary reasons as well as the fact that I have to be able to be available for the others. Sounds like she may need another daycare or perhaps even a nanny?

The thing is that they do not NEED the care. The day works from home. They only want her here in order to socialize her. But she is not socializing, she is constantly upset. Nap time is HORRID. The other children are having a rough time as well, because she is crying the full time.

Sounds to me like they need to take her out of daycare and sign up for play groups with a parent until she is old enough to attend preschool and then send her there.

I am not a fan of AP on any level. I understand that every parent gets to choose but in my experience, it creates far more problems later down the line. AP children tend to be overly anxious, they don't adjust well to being told no, they struggle to perform simple instructions independently, the list goes on.

Of course the parents don't have to handle any of this - they trot off back to work at the end of mat leave, making it the carer's issue and the child's issue or they remain as stay-at-home parents and the teachers have to deal with it all once the child begins school.

In the meantime, when the parent is with the child at the end of they day, the AP continues, further confusing a child who has to switch between the real world and their home life.

I'd love for any new parent considering AP, to come into a day care and see for themselves how much harder their own child will struggle vs a child who is encouraged to be independent, self-sooth, etc.

Since it's only one day a week and it's for social interaction, I too think that the parent taking the child to social activities within the community would be a better option than day care once a week.

[QUOTE=Rachael;68958]I am not a fan of AP on any level. I understand that every parent gets to choose but in my experience, it creates far more problems later down the line. AP children tend to be overly anxious, they don't adjust well to being told no, they struggle to perform simple instructions independently, the list goes on.

Research (and lots of it) says the opposite. AP children grow up to be confident, independent fully capable children. The problem is a crap load of parents out there confused AP parenting as meaning you never let your child's feet touch the ground and that you never let them so much as whimper (let alone cry)...which leads to a bunch of children that rule the house, are in capable of self soothing and just don't function in group settings.

AP parenting is about recognizing and responding to your child's emotions. It doesn't mean you have to give in to those emotions. It doesn't mean you can't still be the boss! Drives me up the wall when parents call themselves AP when they are just permissive parents that choose to let their child run the families lives.

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Originally Posted by Rachael

I am not a fan of AP on any level. I understand that every parent gets to choose but in my experience, it creates far more problems later down the line. AP children tend to be overly anxious, they don't adjust well to being told no, they struggle to perform simple instructions independently, the list goes on.

Of course the parents don't have to handle any of this - they trot off back to work at the end of mat leave, making it the carer's issue and the child's issue or they remain as stay-at-home parents and the teachers have to deal with it all once the child begins school.

In the meantime, when the parent is with the child at the end of they day, the AP continues, further confusing a child who has to switch between the real world and their home life.

I'd love for any new parent considering AP, to come into a day care and see for themselves how much harder their own child will struggle vs a child who is encouraged to be independent, self-sooth, etc.

Since it's only one day a week and it's for social interaction, I too think that the parent taking the child to social activities within the community would be a better option than day care once a week.

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Oh my God, i agree with this entire post wholeheartedly. Thank you ;)

Oh you poor thing.

I couldn't do it. Vomit just gives me the heebie jeebies.

I would probably have quit this family or I would be calling every time it happened for a pickup