.................... .
Printable View
.................... .
Just tell them that you don't mind one or two texts/emails a day but explain that you are busy looking after the kids. Good grief!
Just as every child is different, every parent is different. You will come across so many different types in this work environment lol.
I imagine it would be very hard for a parent to leave their child and I totally understand why some feel guilty. To those ones I tell them that they shouldn't feel guilty going to work because that is how they are going to financially support their family and there is no shame in that! I also explain how healthy and beneficial it is for their child to socialize and how nice it is that their child has another adult (dcprovider) that loves them and looks after them. Their time with their child will be so much more better because it will be quality time vs just quantity time. (Not that there's anything wrong with sahm's either but they get a different speech than the working moms lol)
I send pics via email or text to the parents and for new parents I send a lot in the first 2 weeks to let them "in" to their child's day. Parenting is a job that is a "damned if you do and damned if you don't" so I can't even to begin to understand all the challenges they face. Part of being a dcprovider is easing the parents feelings as well and making sure they are comfortable with the care I provide....IMO anyways :) even though sometimes they can be more exhausting than the children lol. Good luck!
I just reply to texts and emails when I can, usually during nap. If a parent were to call a lot though I'd ask them to refrain from doing so. They all know texts and emails are preferred unless it's an emergency.
I'm not "strong" enough to leave my babies with a virtual stranger.
I suspect they are texting you as a way to feel close to their children. It makes them feel better to reach out to you and feel like they are still a part of their child's day. You don't have to answer every text.
When I start a new family I let them know they can contact me anytime they like. I tell them I won't always have time to get back to them but will do my best to keep them up to date.
For the first couple of days I send Moms lots of pictures and texts. It usually doesn't take long for them to feel comfortable that their baby is safe and happy and doing ok without them.
If you don't draw a line in the sand, if you enable them, this will continue. I would suggest gently putting some boundaries in place. I put the boundaries in place from the get go. I will not issue my cellphone number to day care clients, I have a voice-message service on my house phone, I check e-mail first thing in the morning, at nap time and after close. If there is a real emergency, the longest it will take me to reply is in the morning if we are out for our walk. 2 hours only when I am not in contact. In all the years I've done this, there has never been a true emergency.
If a parent is calling to tell me information they forgot to give me at drop off, then a voice-message or an e-mail will enable them to do so. Neither requires me to reply. If they are calling to say they are picking up early, then again, they can leave a message and let me know, and I'll acknowledge receipt of that when I can.
Your difficulty is now to change the situation from what it current is, to one which is more acceptable to you. Firstly, I would explain to them that although I understand this is a very stressful time for them, they have to trust you. They chose you to care for their child based on your methods and experience and you take care of every child you are trusted with - not just the ones whose parents beg you to.
I would also explain that although I understand that texting throughout the day helps them feel in constant contact with their child, in reality it's you who is being messaged all the time and it is taking you away from fully interacting with the children. After all, I can't paint, colour, teach, hug and kiss and all those tasks which require two hands, if I am endlessly picking up messages and feeling obligated to respond to them. It might just take a couple of seconds, but it endlessly interrupts the routine or task/activity being performed. Ask them to consider how it would be if all the parents in your care messaged as frequently and ask them to consider how disruptive it is. As them how they would feel if you spent an equal amount of time x (# of other kids you care for), away from their child, replying to parents.
Once you've done that - ignore all the messages and all the e-mails until it's convenient. Either when the children are napping or for a very brief time at the end of the day - choose one time a day to reply. That sends a message that this is the first chance you've had, that you are busy, that you are getting the messages but you are not at their beck-and-call during business hours.
Also, I'd suggest for future clients, something I started doing a few years ago. During interview, I explain that for the first week or so, when it's a convenient time, I will send them a couple of photos of their child. Tell them they are welcome to call and check on their child for the first week or so if they have to leave whilst their child is upset but you will not be holding the phone up to their child's ear as it's confuses them. Explain to them that if they do call at an inconvenient time, it will go to voicemail and you will respond when you get a chance - it's just that you are busy with the children. I also explain to parents that although they might be paying me, my priority is the care of their children and so I can't always leave them to answer a phone. Most parents can understand that the child is my priority not the adult when it's stated so clearly.
An example I give is painting or a messy activity which requires supervision. I explain that in order to answer the telephone, I need to wash my own hands, wash all the children's hand and dry them so paint doesn't get all over the walls whilst my attention is split, and only then can I answer the phone. I make it clear that it's quite an inconvenience to do that if a parent is ringing for no particular reason and I explain that if every parent does that twice a day, it's 12 interruptions.
i have pretty much the same advice as the other ladies. At the beginning i tell them that a quick drop off is best and then they can go have a cry in the car. Then at drop off i let them know that I will text with an update soon. and during the first few weeks i test photos and updates more often. as time goes on i try to do an update once or twice a day or if their child does something funny or cute :) and there is no need for you to answer each text as they come in. just answer them after an hour or two or at nap and let them know that you have been busy with the children and unless its urgent you will answer messages at nap time. unfortunately this business its the whole family you sign up not just the kid!
For me, I only have my cell, haven't had a landline in probably 8 years. It's always with me especially when we go outside or for a walk. I MUCH prefer texts and emails because I can answer them when I want. I HATE phone calls lol. I am terrible for screening my calls lol.
I haven't had an issue with parents who needed constant reassurance (I expect multiple texts for the first couple weeks but after that it seems to stop) but if I was finding parents were doing this more and more OR I was getting annoyed with it, I would write up a little blurb about communication in my contract so that parents know from the get go what I expect and will tolerate.
Be honest with the parents if this is something that is truly annoying you and keeping you from taking care of the kids. I am a huge multi-tasker so I don't find texts annoying but I definitely can see why some would be frustrated with it! Don't stress about something that can easily be fixed :) Good luck!
Actually, I do consider this part of my job. To help the child transition in and to help the families feel safe and assure them that their child is in the best possible care besides their own. If the roles were reversed, I would have a hard time not texting a couple times a day as well, I have been there and if it had been an option I probably will have. I am their Mom...evolutionary speaking, my kids SHOULD be with with me. But, we don't all get to work from home so I don't see any problem with a parent checking in on their baby. I find that parents check in the most at the beginning...while the child is still transitioning, and the parent is also transitioning into a life where she isn't with her baby 24/7. I reassure, and if the texts become machine gun-like I either do not respond until my lunch break, or respond with a simple "We are doing just fine here, _____ is adjusting bit by bit, and doing very well. Enjoy your day and she'll be ready and waiting with big hugs at pick up time". But yeah, to sum up I don't consider myself only working with the child, I am working with the whole family..the best relationships are ones whose parents fully trust us, and a few correspondence throughout the day helps to build that.
Wow, they do sound a little over the top! I might be the odd man out on this one. I encourage parents to text as much as they need to, at the beginning, because I know they're completely stressed about leaving their baby. I want them to feel involved in the transition process and to know that I'll keep them up to date on what's happening. I've had clients with varying degrees of anxiety - some left without a second glance, others have cried at the door for a week or so, others needed substantially more hand holding and cajoling.
The nice thing about texts is that you can leave it alone until you have time. In the 13 years I've been doing this, I've found this technique useful in maintaining perceived transparency which is, in short, very comforting to parents. They just feel better. To add to this, I also tell them little things that will change along the way as the child transitions (will eventually stop crying quickly, or will reach for me, etc, etc). These things always happen so they can be predicted with reasonable certainty. Then when you let them know these things have happened, as they occur, it builds their confidence in you. When they leave me with a crying child, I'll text them when the crying stops (provided it stops quickly). This way they can see the progress, feel involved with the process and can relax more. Eventually, even my most nervous parents just learn that 'junior' is in very capable hands, is having fun and making the appropriate progress. I think parental involvement is a very useful tool. Time consuming at first, but well worth the effort.
No not odd one out. I encourage texts too :)
Funny story....I've had a child since June. He transitioned well and everything is great (best new napper ever!!) but he still cries at drop off. It is totally just for mom as he stops the second the door is closed, little turd! I text mom a picture 2-4x a week of him not crying and she probably isn't even out of my driveway yet! lol.
Well this week he has come in both days, waved bye to mom and ran into the living room to get the toys. No crying at all!! The whole time previous to this I had been telling mom it's very normal and that it will eventually stop. She now says she wants to cry!! LOL. As much as she hated seeing him cry when she left, I think she hates it even more that he doesn't now!!
Yes I think parents like that feeling and who can blame them ! I have the job to cuddle and play and they are rushing around trying to get lo fed , dressed and out the door ! I couldn't imagine my child being excited to play with another "mom" . In a perfect world I understand it is best for the child to feel connected to someone else but I'm not perfect and at times would prob feel badly as well !!
I would text her pics and reassure her as much as possible when you have the time , I may not always answer her texts so that she understands while you understand her feelings you have more than one child in your care and are not on call so to speak !!
Sounds like we're on the same page 5LM and 2ndtimearound! Yep, I have a little guy who would flip right out at the hand over. I told dad to stand outside the door for a second to hear what happens next - of course the kid stopped :) Something I've started doing, with the parents' permission of course, is to post pics of our meals and a couple activities through the day on FB. They love it!!! PLUS, it's awesome advertising for me as they share some of the photos on their pages too :) Helllooooo free advertising!
I keep saying that I'm going to start a fb page specifically for my daycare but I never get around to it!!
I strongly disagree with not giving out your cell number. In fact I don't give out my home number at all, because that is my personal number and my cell is my business number.
I also don't agree with parents not being able to get a hold of me for hours. We go to play groups, story time at the library, parks ect. We take the bus, and unlike you have have many emergencies. The most recent being that one of my clients had to be rushed to the hospital for a emergency c- section. The most serious being one of my families the dad was in a car accident 10 minutes after dropping off the kids, and almost being killed.
Possibly it is personal likes and taste, but I prefer that parents are able to get a hold of me, and know that they can at any time during the day. I know that I expect to be able to get a hold of the parents if I need them at any time ,and ask that if a parent is going to be in meetings or if they will be away from their cell for an extended period of time then to then to let me know.