New starter today!

I have a 3 1/2 yr old boy starting today. A little aprihensive if I'm honest as he is considerably delayed. Not toilet trained, speech delayed although he definitely talks. I have another 3 year old who will hopefully do him the world of good and vice versa.

Living circumstances are a little unique. Lives full time with grandparents only sees his mum once a year, father isn't in the picture. Nana does everything for him and it seems like she has done the best she can considering the drama she has had to go through with his mum. Unfortunately I think she has overdone a bit which she has acknowledged and now he is delayed. He will not attempt to take his own coat and boots off or put them on. Doesn't ask for anything or show iniciative. Has to be told or his Nana just automatically does for him. She is on board to make changes thank goodness and I suppose I'm just a little nervous as to the extent of how much capacity he will have for following direction and doing as he is told, more so how nap time will go :-) I'm used to a great crew in a great nap time routine and typically my kids start much younger and if they are bad sleepers at least they are in a playpen initially till they get in the swing of things. I'm wondering if this delay is a product of circumstance or if there is a deeper underlying cause going on here. I suppose only time will tell.

As for toilet training, I've said to Nana I'll not even bring it up until he is settled in so a couple of weeks or so and then we will give it a go and she is on board to give it 100%. Apparently she has tried and he will go to the toilet when asked if he needs to go but will never ever actually go. He can pull his pants down and get on and off but doesn't do anything. She said if she puts him on without pulling his underwear down then he will pee. Any thoughts?

I was never 100% about taking this kid but it was a rare opportunity to fill my last spot until I close because then it will be time for JK. I also think while he has the potential to be a lot of work, that is no reason to pass on him. Everyone deserves a chance and these are the kids who need us the most. Sometimes kids need a break and this does have the potential of being a great opportunity for him and the group. I have also got no issue with letting him go should there be no signs of improvement at the 4 week mark. The last thing I want to do is have my last few months of work be a daily feeling of dread for going to work. I want to finish on a positive note. I've just got visions of him getting up and wandering around which I'm not going to be happy about if I have to stand guard at the nap room door when I'm usually pottering around the house getting multiple things done when the kids are sleeping.

Hopefully all your worrying will be pointless and it will turn out great!!! :)

I know you've mentioned before you don't have a video monitor but I love having mine for this exact reason! I actually have 2 lol. One is a mini tv monitor that sits in my living room and the other one is a handheld one with built in walkie talkie....I LOVE it!! Just last Friday I saw my 3 yo boy standing and kinda bouncing around, I asked what he was doing and he said he needed the washroom so I told him to go! Lol. I tell them every day when I tuck them in that if they need to go they can just go and than come back to bed but my 3 yo girl never has to go and he normally just pees his pants....so I'm glad to see that we're maybe over this soon!

Anyways, having the handheld allows me to do my things during nap without having to go down every 20-30 mins to check on them (dc centre habit that I still have lol)

Good luck, I hope today is going well!

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Originally Posted by 5 Little Monkeys

Hopefully all your worrying will be pointless and it will turn out great!!! :)

I know you've mentioned before you don't have a video monitor but I love having mine for this exact reason! I actually have 2 lol. One is a mini tv monitor that sits in my living room and the other one is a handheld one with built in walkie talkie....I LOVE it!! Just last Friday I saw my 3 yo boy standing and kinda bouncing around, I asked what he was doing and he said he needed the washroom so I told him to go! Lol. I tell them every day when I tuck them in that if they need to go they can just go and than come back to bed but my 3 yo girl never has to go and he normally just pees his pants....so I'm glad to see that we're maybe over this soon!

Anyways, having the handheld allows me to do my things during nap without having to go down every 20-30 mins to check on them (dc centre habit that I still have lol)

Good luck, I hope today is going well!

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I may see if I can borrow one as at this stage of the game I don't want any additional expenses but I can see me needing one.

He has been here an hour and DING DING DING...alarm bells and red flags going off all over the place. I think the delay is a little more deep rooted since the kid can not stop moving unless he is focused on something and he can not fix his eyes or stand still. A bull in a china shop too who doesn't seem to realize there are other people in this room as he just walked over a two year old as though he wasn't there. I'm going to keep a written record and hopefully he settles down and I'm able to help him. Nana has opted to not give vaccinations and said he only goes to the dr's when he is ill which is never so he clearly hasn't had developmental checks where I'm sure a dr would be noticing the constant moving amongst other things.

Happy kid though, very social even if there are some clear issues which does make it easier that he is a happy child. Not toilet trained...4 in August....not looking forward to toilet training a child who may or may not have special needs but at least for sure has some areas of need beyond the average at this point. Will do some research and call upon my special needs expert friends for some guidance. He also seems to struggle to follow any verbal direction, requires to be shown or led which at least has worked for now. Sometimes completely unresponsive where I raise my voice louder but I don't think it is a hearing issue at all because if he is engaged in something he likes he responds much better. I am definitely noticing some clusters so will just keep track as I said. So much has come up immediately I doubt at all that this is just simply a slow learner or delay issue.

I'll keep everyone posted and please cross your fingers for a successful naptime :)

Poor 3.5 year old who comes to my house only ever having eaten junk food. I actually feel really bad for the little boy as it's not his doing but now he is left with an empty belly till afternoon snack. �� I hope he learns fast but there's a huge difference between breaking poor habits at under 2 and pushing 4. (((Sigh)))

I got my handheld on Walmart.ca on Black Friday for $90. If you were closer I'd lend ya one!!! Lol. Maybe kijiji?

It is definitely hard to break bad habits at that age! At least grandma is on board with changes....that's half the battle!

Sounds like maybe autism? How is nap going? Hopefully well. 5LM what handheld and monitor do you use! Is it easy to set up and use? I'd like to get one.

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Originally Posted by 5 Little Monkeys

I got my handheld on Walmart.ca on Black Friday for $90. If you were closer I'd lend ya one!!! Lol. Maybe kijiji?

It is definitely hard to break bad habits at that age! At least grandma is on board with changes....that's half the battle!

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Not sure about the food though. I advertise very clearly that I serve all homemade. I very recently changed from Organic to Natural as you may remember on here a number of months ago I was trying to cut my costs. Even though I am not an exclusively Organic daycare anymore, I do not and will never serve any processed foods. It's my sell and generally the reason parents come to me although nobody doesn't come because I serve it lol Childrens info package is filled out and brought on the first day. Favourite foods are pizza, KD, Bear Paws, waffles, Noodles. Not a vegetable in sight lol Todays lunch was likely a stretch so tomorrow I will make some changes to the meal plan just to eliminate any additional transitioning obstacles but I'll make homemade favourites and see if he can stomach them. This fella didn't even try it though, he didn't want it on sight so I'm not sure he will eat home made mac n cheese as it won't look like KD let alone taste like it. Poor kid was begging me and pointing to the fridge for something else.

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Originally Posted by babydom

Sounds like maybe autism? How is nap going? Hopefully well. 5LM what handheld and monitor do you use! Is it easy to set up and use? I'd like to get one.

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I've worked with autistic children very closely and this isn't like those I've seen before. It seems more like attention. He sat for 20 minutes like a zombie and watched dinosaur train while I put lunch out. Didn't flinch. An autistic child would be moving, fidgeting or something.

He was upset about going to bed, but he isn't a screamer, more of a sobbing cry :( He was asleep within 10 minutes thank goodness. That was my biggest fear. He kept sitting up but I just kept popping in and telling him to lie down which he did each time.

I really hope it works out and it's just a matter of accommodating his extra needs. Toilet training though...wow that's going to be a laugh a minute!

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Originally Posted by 5 Little Monkeys

I got my handheld on Walmart.ca on Black Friday for $90. If you were closer I'd lend ya one!!! Lol. Maybe kijiji?

It is definitely hard to break bad habits at that age! At least grandma is on board with changes....that's half the battle!

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Kijiji is going to be my first stop but we will see.

http://www.walmart.ca/en/ip/11895914.../6000187517415

That is the handheld one. I really really like it. It was on sale for $84 not $90 sorry, on Black Friday. It looks small but with the way I have it, I can see 3 out of my 4 kids so by default, I know it's the 4th child making noise even though I can't see them lol. Super easy to use and set up is nothing but plugging it in!

And this one is the one I got in the States from walmart. It's nice too but not being able to carry the monitor around isn't as nice

http://www.walmart.com/ip/Summer-Inf...nitor/23735522

Well hopefully grandma is able to start giving more healthy choices at home! In all honesty, I find a lot of the families don't eat as healthy at home as they do here but hey....neither do I!! haha. I always say if I just ate what the kids ate, I would be fine. But I do have an addiction to food...and unfortunately, it's not good food!! lol

I give homemade mac and cheese as well but none of them really notice it's not KD...they gobble it up! I do give KD from time to time though even though I know I really shouldn't!!

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Originally Posted by 5 Little Monkeys

Well hopefully grandma is able to start giving more healthy choices at home! In all honesty, I find a lot of the families don't eat as healthy at home as they do here but hey....neither do I!! haha. I always say if I just ate what the kids ate, I would be fine. But I do have an addiction to food...and unfortunately, it's not good food!! lol

I give homemade mac and cheese as well but none of them really notice it's not KD...they gobble it up! I do give KD from time to time though even though I know I really shouldn't!!

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It's the fact that he wont even try it. He decided on sight that it wasn't for him lol Tomorrow is another day and obviously this is day 1. Fingers crossed for baby steps in the right direction as each day comes and goes.

Ugh....isn't that frustrating!! My 18 month old dck is like that. It drives me crazy lol. She's been here since November (I think? Terrible memory) and she's had ONE good week where she even ate meat!! That was huge progress and I thought we were good....but nope! Back to only eating fruit, cheese, yogurt, bread products and crackers. The only meat she has continued to eat is ham sausage. She's like this at home too. She's such a tiny thing too, I always feel so bad because she goes down for nap hungry. Usually only eats snacks.

I'm so sorry for that little guy. I wonder if grandma has avoided the doctor because she doesn't want to know. For mac and cheese, try grating orange cheddar in to it and mix, not as bright but is still orangeish. What's his fav flavour of bear paws? What about making muffies in the same flavour?

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Originally Posted by 33 Daiseys

I'm so sorry for that little guy. I wonder if grandma has avoided the doctor because she doesn't want to know. For mac and cheese, try grating orange cheddar in to it and mix, not as bright but is still orangeish. What's his fav flavour of bear paws? What about making muffies in the same flavour?

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Some great ideas thanks. Yes I feel bad for him too. I'm not sure why she hasn't gone to the doctors either. She is a young grandma in her late 40's and has 3 girls all in their early twenties. I think she is overwhelmed raising another child and I know she is just trying to make ends meet cleaning houses and driving a school bus. She recognized that her grandson needed socializing and was delayed and that was why she enrolled him in daycare. I think a preschool which would have been a more affordable option wouldn't have taken him but he isn't toilet trained. :-( Even with these obstacles, I am optimistic and will try hard to help him any way I can.

Off topic...my Mac and cheese calls for milk and cheddar cheese....is that uncommon? It looks orange/yellow when cooked.

Would adding turmeric make it more kd looking?

Those are all great ideas. Thanks ladies!

Day two for this guy and I'm actually pretty happy so far in his group interactions. Lots and lots of repeating but he is getting things fast and if I want to get him to give me info he seems to do better if he has his focus drawn to one particular thing. I think he may very well have some sensory overload so when he has one thing or one activity only he is more more focussed.

As for the food, I am a little wary of camouflaging foods or pretending because I am just "feeding" (ba bum) the issue. He needs to be allowed to try these foods without being tricked and realize that trying different and unfamiliar foods can be exciting and isn't something to be wary of. If I start making things look like junk food I will always have to do it further reinforcing this issue.

My kids really don't notice if it's KD or homemade so I'd just try it with him. Most kids love Mac and cheese regardless of look....as long as it tastes good, they're happy!

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Originally Posted by 5 Little Monkeys

My kids really don't notice if it's KD or homemade so I'd just try it with him. Most kids love Mac and cheese regardless of look....as long as it tastes good, they're happy!

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That is the meal for today!! I usually don't care what pasta it is but I made it with macaroni last night. For the other kids I have mixed cauliflower and chicken in but for the newbie initially I thought not as I want him to eat it and don't want to alter the taste and then I'll maybe add a puree or two in it after that another time and work from there. We will see. He was happy to come back today and his Nana said he talked none stop last night about his new friends. He clearly forgot about the whole lunchtime hard ass routine I pulled lol

I'd just give him his chicken and cauliflower on the side and see what he does. I have one child who doesn't like her food to be mixed and I do this for her a lot. Chili's and stews are horrible for her but she does try! Lol

Good luck today!

Try a recipe like this one: http://whiteonricecouple.com/recipes...cheese-recipe/

this isn't the recipe I used last (can't find it) but this uses milk to cook the pasta instead of water. So it is just much heartier. Ohhhh what I'd do for some cheesey mac and cheese! My daughter is allergic to milk so it's just easier to make a dairy free casserole here these days. But, I tell you when I next make this I will eat it ALL myself!!

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Originally Posted by Lee-Bee

Try a recipe like this one: http://whiteonricecouple.com/recipes...cheese-recipe/

this isn't the recipe I used last (can't find it) but this uses milk to cook the pasta instead of water. So it is just much heartier. Ohhhh what I'd do for some cheesey mac and cheese! My daughter is allergic to milk so it's just easier to make a dairy free casserole here these days. But, I tell you when I next make this I will eat it ALL myself!!

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I have a dairy free child in my care so I wouldn't be able to do this. i typically batch cook so when I make the dairy free version I freeze individual portions and then there is a tray of regular dairy mac n cheese big enough for four to be enough for the rest. I'd have to make him a whole other pan of pasta.

I've never heard of cooking pasta in milk. How does it make it heartier? I'm a little freaked out by the idea lolol my pasta is kamut, I don't serve any white products, and kamut is much more filling to begin with but a child or adult used to white pasta might initially not like the texture.

Lol if you are dairy free too then it's a no go. Too much work...that's why I don't make it!

It's not that it's healthier but the pasta that the child is eating just has some added protein in it from soaking up the milk. So it's more filling than pasta with water. For a child that doesn't eat much then some extra milk in there can help. It also makes the mac and cheese more cheesy as you are not just adding milk and cheese at the end...it's there from the start.

Where do you buy your Kamut pasta? I'd be curious to try it. We buy the whole wheat pasta...but wouldn't mind finding something that might be a bit more substantial and healthier.

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Originally Posted by Lee-Bee

Where do you buy your Kamut pasta? I'd be curious to try it. We buy the whole wheat pasta...but wouldn't mind finding something that might be a bit more substantial and healthier.

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I buy my grains organic and in bulk. Are you in Ontario? I can message the info of the supplier if you are. You can typically buy it in the health food aisle too if you just want to try it first, but when bought in bulk the organic works out the same price as none organic kamut pasta products. If you eat whole wheat then the kamut won't taste any different to you. Kamut also has protein in it so is already more filling and way healthier without the fat :)

I'm in Ontario. I'd be interested in that info. Will try to find some in store to buy but we are pretty easy going about food changes here so I think it would go over well. Always looking for better options and the added protein is awesome (with a dairy free child I'm always looking to boost the protein intake!).