Disrepected! :(

How do you deal with being disrespected in your business? I just feel so disrespected in my own home and in this business. Like today a mom comes in and drops off this morning and as she's leaving out the door says that Shes working 30mins away today and ends at 4:30 but will try to make it back with the traffic. I close at 5. And of course it's heavily snowing and what do I get right now....a text saying that she just left 10 minutes ago. So now she's not even going to be here till six or after. she doesn't even ask if I have anything on tonight, sometimes my daughter has classes and I have appointments and doesn't even care to ask if I can watch her child later. I've never had late fees because I've never had problems. I used to have one parent come late sometimes due to traffic 5 to 10 minutes and felt so bad she always paid me extra without me asking but now I'll start implementing late fees because of her. I swear she'll just pay it. If it's like $1000 for five minutes late she'd pay it. Lol.
it's so hard to just terminate her because I've had her son since six months old :(
what would you do because you get so attach to the kids and the parents ruin it by disrespecting you:(:(:( rant done. Just feeling sad and down being taken advantage of not respected you know?

Here, the parents are required to provide alternate people to pick up when necessary. I would NEVER put up with this kind of thing. 5-15 minutes late, you get a fine ($1/minute) but to be an hour late. OMG. I would have all of her kid's stuff packed and her termination paperwork done and hand it all to her when she arrived.

You absolutely do not deserve this behaviour. If you put up with it, it will continue.

If you aren't going to terminate the contract, then please, make it clear to her today how hurt you are that she has taken advantage of you. That you have opened your home to her children and that you don't want to lose them but if her lack of respect continues, you won't be able to keep them.

I know I agree. She has no one here. No family and apparently no friends. Is a single mom. So she doesn't have anyone else to pick up her kid. But that shouldn't b my problem right? :( and of coarse the baby is starving so I got to do dinner. I already did breakfast lunch two snacks. There goes my pay in food today. Sigh!

No, it isn't your problem... but it is good to know. So you definately have to tell her that this won't fly in the future.

you need to tell her today that late fees will be charged the next time she is later then her scheduled pick up time at $1/min for the first 15 mins then it doubles

I've never done late fees so if she arrives at 5:02. She pays 2$? Or 5:01 she pays 1$? After 15mins it's 2$/min?

That's what I have done. Although, the 1-5 minutes, I won't usually ask for that, there's an unwritten grace period for people who don't make a habit of it. I have had a couple walk in the door with the 2$ though. I have had a few parents that work till 4:30, my closing time, so they leave work early and might be 1 minute over. I've had 2 parents who worked at a daycare center. If those parents were late, my dcm would be late. I understood that. It's more about the lack of respect. If they assume it's okay to just show up whenever, that's not respectful.

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Originally Posted by babydom

How do you deal with being disrespected in your business? I just feel so disrespected in my own home and in this business. Like today a mom comes in and drops off this morning and as she's leaving out the door says that Shes working 30mins away today and ends at 4:30 but will try to make it back with the traffic. I close at 5. And of course it's heavily snowing and what do I get right now....a text saying that she just left 10 minutes ago. So now she's not even going to be here till six or after. she doesn't even ask if I have anything on tonight, sometimes my daughter has classes and I have appointments and doesn't even care to ask if I can watch her child later. I've never had late fees because I've never had problems. I used to have one parent come late sometimes due to traffic 5 to 10 minutes and felt so bad she always paid me extra without me asking but now I'll start implementing late fees because of her. I swear she'll just pay it. If it's like $1000 for five minutes late she'd pay it. Lol.
it's so hard to just terminate her because I've had her son since six months old :(
what would you do because you get so attach to the kids and the parents ruin it by disrespecting you:(:(:( rant done. Just feeling sad and down being taken advantage of not respected you know?

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If it was me, I wouldn't have let her leave in the morning thinking it was okay to pick up late. Even though it is a hard conversation, the only way to prevent being disrespected is to let them know (in a face to face conversation) that what is happening is not okay.

Sorry to hear about this. Does she arrive late often? I would definitely mention the late fees and see her reaction. The same thing happened to me a month ago. They just kept arriving later and later. When I mentioned late fees to them, the mom threatened to find alternative care...which they have. For some reason, there are a few clients who just happen to make our lives more stressful than it should be. We are here for the children, to care for them and guide them, but our day ends too...do they not understand that?

I find that only way to stop disrespect is to nip in bud immediately. I would have said at drop off "Keep eye on weather. I close at 5pm and not available after then so you must be here before I close. Lateness not an option."

Tell her you have contract to provide care from start to end of your hours, not later. You also not have agreement for supper. State clearly not be tolerated again.

Have a conversation with her. I think people get it in their minds that we're just always here and don't mind "because we love children". They have zero concept that we have a life beyond our job since it's at home.
Tell/text/email her that you "felt very disrespected yesterday that you did not respect my closing time, nor even ask if it was ok if you pick your child up well past closing time. Yes the weather was bad but you didn't even leave work until _____. From here on out ______ must be picked up by 5pm at the very latest so that I may get on with my evening with my family. Thank you for your cooperation."

Trust me I would have loved to mention something this morning but she literaty told it to me as she had the door open leaving and another parent was coming in. What I should have done was text her this morning saying to watch for the snow coming and leave early. But the day got busy and I forgot. She finally got here at 6 and she could tell I was upset and said sorry and will pay me more on payday. I said good thank u. I didn't want to say more cuz I was fuming and I wanted to get to my kids before they went to bed so I said good bye c u tomorrow. I will b texting tomorrow during nap though my new late fees. Can it just b Verble? Or will I have to write out another contract with the late fees stated and get her to sign? Thanks all for the advice. I have since calmed down. Lol.

I would do verbal but also have a piece of paper (2 actually, one for her one for you) dated and signed to add with contract on file

No, it can't be just verbal. That give no proof that she was told about late fee. But you can text or e-mail it and when she replies, that then is written and her reply mean she see it. Print off and keep with contract in case text/e-mail get lost and so proof gone.

I agree...tell them there is a late fee....you would be surprised how many times she is late in the future....when it comes to $....they aren't late....good luck...I completely know where you are coming from as far as disrespect....there is nothing lower....if it is difficult to say it to her face....put it in writing...I had to once....I clearly put it on paper..."I WILL NOT ASK...BEG...OR CHASE PEOPLE DOWN MY DRIVEWAY FOR MY PAY...I AM PAID FRIDAY MORNING...I DO NOT DO OVERTIME...PLEASE HAVE YOUR BACK-UP PICK UP YOUR CHILD IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE LATE...IF THIS ARRANGEMENT DOES NOT WORK FOR YOU...PLEASE FIND SOMEONE ELSE....THERE IS NO ROOM FOR NEGOTIATION IN BOTH OF THESE DEPARTMENTS.." and it worked...it was simple...to the point ....and they ALL got the message...I haven't had a problem since....

Sandylynn, I also have "please do not make me beg for my pay." It definitely seems to work!!

If you have a late fee, make sure it's high. One family (actually the only family) paid me late fees 3x, $60 for about 30-40 mins total. They didn't care, they just paid the fee! They always had it ready though, I never had to ask. Still annoying to have to work late though!!

I also like the idea of no late fee though...shows that option is not there! However, some of mine get stopped by a train near my house so in those cases, the alternate pick up person couldn't have been arranged anyways

Being late is not acceptable in my house!! Parents know that right from the start. I do have a late fee though. $1 for every minute past 5. When it gets to 5:20 it is the full days rate. I can tell you that I would be calling or texting at 5:05 too to see where they are at.

I had one dad who was late a few times a week shortly after they started. I texted mom at 5:03 asking if he was being picked up? After a few times late I told them I needed them here before 5. My contract also reads that it takes a few minutes to get your child ready and out the door so please come before 5.

Only you can stop being taken advantage of. If you allow it it will continue to happen. Revise your contract, include a hearty late pick up fee, make it effective immediately. Also add failure to pickup on time could result in termination.

Forget $1 a minute-my late fees are $20 even if it's 1-2minutes late. Every 1/2 hr, the $20 doubles in fees. Rewrite the contract with the late fees and get her to sign it. I would never be made responsible to feed a child dinner as well, that's rediculous. Put that in writing too.

How did the convo go? Hope everything is back to running smoothly!

Yes curious how things are going?

Thanks for checking in. It's not in my contract but I advertise in my ad that I offer evening and wkend care very casual if parents want to go to dinner or something, at 10$ an an hour. So because she came an hour late she paid me $10 which I felt was very low but couldn't blame her as she thought that was my rate according to my ad so I told her that effective this wk evening and wkend care is out and it's a dollar a minute past five minutes she agreed and has come 20mins early to pick up yesterday. Well c if itll last. She knew I was upset.