Just a vent....I guess :)

So I have had this stituation for the last 4 yrs and it's just getting worst. Before I start I'm just very annoyed and looking to vent to feel better. Lol. I know some may not agree with me but thats ok :p

There is a home daycare five doors down from me. She opened a yr before me and only had two kids through an agency. When I moved in and came on the scene she was very nice and welcoming and I helped her ALOT in regards to her business. Well now I know she was only nice to get info and grow her business. Which I totally don't mind helping newbies. Giving advice. Telling them about rules. Stuff they'll need. Don't mind. But in this case she has copied me in EVERYTHING!!! I mean everything she copies me. Yes I'm going to sound like a toddler here lol. She took word for word from my ad to use in her ad to advertise. we both have toys set up out front. But she waits for me to do it first. I'll put out my slide. Next day her's is out. I'll bring out my ride on cars next day hers are out. I put my slide away for winter next day hers is away. She copies me right down to toys. She gets her kids together and walks by my house to "see" what I have. One day I had a Spider-Man scooter out. Next day guess who has a Spider-Man scooter out?!?! I bought a new slide from toys r us. Next day she has the same one. Just last wk I bought foam swords to go with my castle slide and she walks by my house today and her two boys have the same swords. And she brings out and lines up all her toys as in like "see I have the same." She ALWAYS walks by my house to "show" me what she has. Like today walking by with the swords.

I just don't get it. It is sooo annoying. I try not to let it bother me. Thinking well she needs the help she's looking up to me or something. But four yrs later and still doing it. Our back yard is super small so all our playing is done out front. So it's just not that I cant void the stares and copying.

Sigh......what would would u do? Like I said I know I'm sounding like a toddler.....she's copying me. But she gets all her clients by using my stuff, ideas, supplies, words. I can't have anything my own. And then outsiders think whose idea was that first or think maybe I'm copying her.

I don't talk to her anymore as when I first opened I did play dates almost every day and fed lunch to both our kids and she never had me over said she couldn't handle all the kids over in her house. But really it was to get over in my house to see what I have. She constantly asks questions on what to do in stituations. I just feel so used :(.
I keep my distance now as I've seen the true her and I don't agree with some things she does. Having 8 kids at one time for a few mths. Or like today leaving a child napping ALONE in her house while she was at the bus stop.

Sorry that was so long :(

Do you guys play outside at the same time? Like you have your slide out and then you see her bringing out hers? I would wait until she drags hers out, and then do a quick switch to something else...bring out the ride on's instead ad see what happens, lol.
I agree, that's super annoying and no, you're not throwing a tantrum...no one likes to be copied. Being a daycare provider takes a creative mind, and she's using yours. As for the ad, I would call her out on it. "I noticed your ad this morning is a copy of mine but with your info switched in. I think it's best not to confuse potential clients, and it's better for you to come up with an ad that reflects your own services. Thanks!"

I have big little tike structures. So they stay out all summer and they go away for winter. I always put mine out around March break. This yr on purpose I waited. But this wk it's sunny and in the teens so I just couldnt wait any longer. I put them out on sat and guess who put hers out on Sunday? It's like she waits for my ok or something. I bring out the ride on toys and she does to. So i go for a walk or to the park and half an hr later she's walking around. It's just getting real old after 4 yrs. lol

Is it possible she has incredibly (like non-existent) self-esteem and does everything you do because she feels she has no ability to do anything on her own? Maybe she was raised in a manner that she never (like ever) had a chance to think for herself or act on her own and now she is clueless if not following someone else's lead?

Is she married?

I would find this so incredibly annoying, but I have to admit that reading it I was laughing out loud because it just sounds so, toddler like!!! I can totally see having side by side daycares and having the neighbor trigger some ideas...like hey wow it's beginning of April and I don't usually bring out the slide until May when the weather is nice but its warm and those kids are having fun so let's bring ours out too. But this is clearly more than that!

I also agree with having your stuff out, waiting until she comes out and copies then quickly switching...which you are both out to see if she switches in front of you. This would be just for kicks though...to get a chuckle if she copies (or stands there confused at your changes lol).

I really don't know what to suggest. There really isn't much you can do. You can talk to her and tell her you don't like being copied...but it's her house, her stuff so she can technically bring it out when ever she well likes. Really not sure what to suggest. Move??

Wow, yes that would be annoying! It's unfortunate as its great to have a friend who you can share ideas with, bounce things off of etc!

I had a provider once use my ad almost word for word. She called her daycare something very similar to mine as well. Luckily my daycare name is registered. Also working in the law field prior to daycare I knew she could not use a name so similar. I contacted her asking if her name was registered as mine was and I would like to see the approval she got to use that name. She didn't reply back but immediately deleted her ad.

Well, that is annoying and not at all professional. I know you might think you sound like a toddler but you have professional reasons for not wanting to be copied. She is acting like a child. Your story reminded me of two books, Ruby the Copycat and Stephanie's Ponytail. Maybe get one and wrap it up and deliver it to her front door. Leave a note so she knows it's from you. Might be too subtle. If only you could find a large toy or yard decoration that is unique. Hand made, maybe. Something she couldn't easily copy. Good luck!

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and you've gotta love Robert Munsch!

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Very odd. From a business standpoint, what does she gain from pulling out or buying the same toys as you? If you go for a walk and than she does, where is the benefit in this?? I just don't understand her side of it I guess.

I've helped so many start up and was starting to see a lot of similarities in contracts. For the most part, it doesn't bother me but I will admit, my offers to help newbies has decreased drastically!! Seems like everyone and their dog is opening a hdc. I'm all for healthy competition but my city is becoming far too saturated with hdc's.

I personally enjoy having the 2 ladies I speak too regularly and sharing ideas and such. We have fb pages and I've seen many art activities that we've all done....however, I blame Pinterest for that LOL

Haha lee bee I'm glad I made u laugh :). I know I sound like a toddler. Stop copying me. She's copying me. Haha. In the beginning it was great. We were friends I helped her out, got together everyday I didn't mind as much. But now four yrs later and we aren't friends anymore it's just getting old. I work hard to research what good toys are out there look for sales etc. it's like Im doing all the work then she just has to peak around the corner and go get what I got. I have honestly thought about moving. We are just renters so would be easier. Haha. Thanks all ladies. I just needed someone who got it. I vented to my mom and husband and they said so. So what. Let her copy u. U do ur thing. Don't let it bother u. Easier said then done. ;)

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Originally Posted by babydom

Haha lee bee I'm glad I made u laugh :). I know I sound like a toddler. Stop copying me. She's copying me. Haha. In the beginning it was great. We were friends I helped her out, got together everyday I didn't mind as much. But now four yrs later and we aren't friends anymore it's just getting old. I work hard to research what good toys are out there look for sales etc. it's like Im doing all the work then she just has to peak around the corner and go get what I got. I have honestly thought about moving. We are just renters so would be easier. Haha. Thanks all ladies. I just needed someone who got it. I vented to my mom and husband and they said so. So what. Let her copy u. U do ur thing. Don't let it bother u. Easier said then done. ;)

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Your response is perfectly legit, after 4yrs of this. I find HER actions very toddler like! Peeking at you, hovering to see what your doing then running off to copy! Something is just off about that. With the occasional idea for sure...but consistently for 4yrs really shows that something is off at her end.

I wish I had a solid idea on how to make it stop but I am clueless!

Very unnerving and annoying... Like she doesn't have her own identity. Hope she doesn't also drive the same car as u. I don't know what I'd do

Hopefully when you do buy your own house she won't move in to be 4 doors down from you again:)

Haha Van. Could u imagine???? Oh no! Lol

too funny LOL:)

Maybe you could find a few people to do an outdoor toy swap with, where you could rotate your outdoor toys more frequently. She may think you are buying them all new and get tired of trying to keep up.

If not, then just be you and do your own thing. You must be doing a pretty good job of it, if someone feels they need to take all their cues from you.