Concerned about my daughter...feel so stuck sometimes with a daycare

My DD is 5. She has been sick for the last 2 months. Horrible cough (still has it), complained of ear pain, had a ruptured eardrum given antibiotics for it, complaining of headaches etc, starts falling a lot (fell down the stairs twice in a couple days), go back to Dr and they said her ear was bad still, gave more antibiotics. Said her lungs are clear and even if she had something (I was worried about pneumonia) then the antibiotics would have taken care of it. Starts throwing up on Fri, has a fever, headaches still. I go back to Dr. I ask about ear, it is now better. I explain that her having a fever is a big deal as she never gets a fever (even when her ear ruptured), they test for Strep (neg), listen to the lungs (clear). They say she has the flu and still post viral cough. My daughter is still not well. She is exhausted, not eating much, crying at the drop of a hat. I called the school to see how she is doing there and they report she is much quieter and doing more sitting down activities as of late. I want to take her to Sick Kids tonight, demand blood work, xrays the whole deal. My husband thinks we need to follow up with regular Dr. I am super worried about something like Meningitis or a larger infection that has moved from her ear to her sinus' or something.

Even as I type this I don't think I am over reacting. Feel so helpless having a daycare. I have been taking her to urgent care clinics so there has been no continuity of care which is too bad.

WWYD?

Follow your gut. A mother has instincts for a reason.

One of my sons now in his 20's was seriously ill as a child. If I hadn't followed my instinct, we wouldn't have him with us today.

It's tough. There actually are similar bugs going around here too. Bad cold which seems to have passed and now there might be a flu going around as one dcg was feverish from Friday to Tuesday.

Blood work probably isn't a bad idea and could identify deficiencies that are contributing to a shitty immune system.

I do strongly recommend you look into vitamin D though. My family and I wouldn't be able to live without it considering the onslaught of germs we are constantly exposed to. The vitamin D council recommends about 35 IU per pound per day. Which is a lot more than what the general recommendations are right now. It's very very safe because your body will simply get rid of what it doesn't need, it doesn't build up in the system and is almost impossible to overdose on. It has made all the difference for us. We hardly get sick anymore compared to before and even when we do it's such a shorter duration. It could really help her get back on her feet.

Hope she gets better soon

If you do go I suggest writing all the above, and anything else down before you go. Have it in writing. It is so easy to get overwhelmed or distracted while at an appointment and forgetting to pass on useful info.

Stay positive, it may just be a bad run of luck and all will clear. But, ultimately you have to trust your gut instincts and go in for extra screening and second opinions.

Follow your gut. Take her to Sick Kids and have them run a battery of tests. Leave no stone unturned. At the very least, you will get some reassurance that it is just a bad virus that needs to clear up and has run her ragged. At the most...Sick Kids is a great hospital and will dig until they can treat her accordingly.

Stay strong momma. Big hugs. Let us know how she is doing.

I feel for you and remember how draining it is to have a small child so sick for so long. My daughter developed ear infections around that age and they became non-stop.

Can you give her some time off school to rest at home? I had my kids home up to 2 weeks at a time occasionally at that age with back-to-back colds and flus. Does she get enough rest in general? I over-scheduled my kids, unfortunately, at times (gymnastics/dance/music/swimming etc.) and it can get to be a bit much.

Keep sugar to a minimum as that will help her immune system bounce back. If she has a lot of ear infections, tubes may be in her future. They did wonders for my daughter.

Keep us posted.

i would suggest going to sick kids emerge
I hope she feels better fast hopefully it is just a virus....

So, I don't think I have ever been as made to feel embarrassed as I did last night.

I took my daughter to Sick Kids. She looked like a zombie when I picked her up from school, ate little for supper and was falling asleep at the table. I get there and they send me to urgent care at the hospital. Fine, I understand she doesn't have a broken leg or an ax in her head, makes sense. I meet with the Dr (Fellow) who is nice and does some neurological tests on her to account for her headaches mainly. Checks her lungs, reflexes etc. My DD has to pee so we go to the bathroom and the Fellow says she will be back when we're done. She comes back with the Dr for urgent care. No niceties or anything just basically tells me that I have a family Dr and I should be there, not at ER. I said that we are very concerned and this has been going on for some time. She said they only deal with acute problems, not ongoing issues. I said that I felt this was acute as she is not well and we wanted the best care for her as it is difficult for me to take her to her Dr during the day as I run a home daycare and have to close it for the day. I told her I have been accessing the Urgent Care which is connected with my Dr's office. She said "I appreciate you have a job but you're also a parent! Maybe you need to close the daycare ad take your child to the Dr" If I hadn't been so shocked at what she said I would have had a few choice things to say but instead I said "I think you are being extremely condescending and I thought I was being a good parent by bringing her here! This has been going on for 2 months and we have been taking her to the Dr. Also my husband has been taking time off of his job as well to take her"

She left and I chatted with the fellow for a bit about their recommendations which were to go see my Dr. I told the fellow that I didn't appreciate how the Dr spoke to me and no one should treat someone that way. She apologized and explained in better words what the other Dr was saying.

My husband took the morning off of work and brought her to her family Dr walk-in. She didn't even get to see her regular Dr anyways so it is not like it mattered. They are running blood work to find out what is wrong. We kept my DD home from school and she is sleeping as I type. I feel so bad for her!

This is a quote from the begining of the news story in Ottawa yesterday about the children's hospital here:

Emergency room doctors at the Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario will be talking to every parent or guardian that visits them about the possibility their child's health issues could have been treated elsewhere.

A news release from the hospital on Wednesday said their new "Choose Wisely" program is coming after an internal study showed an average of 80 to 100 of their 200 emergency room visits per day could have been managed "safely and effectively" by a family doctor.


I don't think you have anything to be embarrased about. A cold or the flu lasts for a few days, not months. Maybe your daughter (hopefully) will get better on her own really soon but with everything that has been going on with her, I think you did the right thing. The doctor you had to deal with may have been having a bad day but saying they don't treat sick kids if they've been sick for a long time is ridiculous.

I hope it all works out and she is fine and if so, you should still not be embarrased. Good luck

I would have gone to hospital too as it is hard to be a worried parent and do our job of caring for other children, but it is upsetting to know that the dr was extremely condescending to you - someone should teach dr to talk to a worried person as I do feel a lot of dr have a superior attitude about themselves in general

I think there was definitely a better way of saying that to you, but Dr's, especially emerg dr's are not known for their bedside manner. I have worked in emerg in the UK and it is not a place to bring a sick child, it is for emergencies requiring immediate attention. Under the circumstances with the history you explained torontokids of toing and froing to numerous walk ins and urgent care, I think you were well within your rights to go to sick kids. Falling asleep at the table without explanation paired with failing appetite and the history of illness over the last couple of months....that is definitely something requiring immediate attention in my book. I have a huge problem with people taking kids to the ER for things that can be genuinely dealt with by a family dr or walk in clinic, but have accepted that it is what it is and what a parent feels most comfortable doing with their child. It is a massive burden on the system when so many kids are taken to the ER simply because they have a fever, and so many parent's automatically go to McMaster or Sick Kids thinking they will get better treatment, but ultimately preventing those with real need the care they require as efficiently. The system doesn't work though in the ER's over here. Triage doesn't work otherwise x-rays could be ordered by nurses without a Dr's oversight and people could be redirected to walk in clinics as and when if they are not presenting with symptoms fitting the "emergency" criteria. Regardless though and that being said, I hate the Dr's who make parents feel foolish for seeking medical advice for things and respond with this arrogant and really unacceptable attitude. They get so wrapped up in the medicine they loose sight of all aspects of patient "care".

Sorry this happened to you, and I hope you get some answers soon....on a side note, I'd suggest eliminating all sources of dairy for 2-4 weeks and see if there is a noticeable difference in your daughters symptoms. Dairy would clogg up the whole ears, nose and throat system and if it has then any infections could be reoccurring regardless of antibiotics and might additionally cause headaches, fever and vomiting...worth a thought while you wait for medical testing. If everything is coming back negative, it could actually be a food allergy.

Watch this video Torontokids https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDBI9txA-W0&app=desktop

My kids have an autoimmune disease. One of them is out of symptoms and the one that was worst it is almost there (I would say about 95% healed) by following this approach. My husband and I have had health issues of our own that have improved a lot too.

Toronto Kids....How is your daughter feeling? Did you follow up once again with your family/pediatrician? Hope she is on the road to recovery. Big hugs.

So we kept her home Thurs and Fri and she slept all day/night pretty much. Got the blood results on Sat that there didn't seem to be any abnormalities aside from some inflammation "somewhere in her body." She was born with bowel abnormalities and had corrective surgery, so it may have to do with that. By Sat afternoon she seemed much better and she started smiling again! Its weird how you can stress about something for so long then it just suddenly stops. I forgot what it was like to have her be herself again: goofy, smiling and loud! I am glad she is better, however we still don't know what it was. I am hoping it was just a virus that kicked her butt after having the ear infections and then rupture. My biggest fear was leukemia so I am glad its not that.

Thanks for asking.

so glad she is on the mend. sounds like it was just a virus. maybe keep a log of her symptoms and timeline just in case, that way you can refer back if anything else arises. :)

So glad to hear a happier post about your daughter and her improvement. As for the test for inflammation, that is perfect conditions for other things to arise, so I would probably think about looking into an anti-inflammatory diet, and trying to get at the very least as much curcumin/turmeric into her as possible. Inflammation cause hormones to go out of wack which effects the thyroid which could explain low energy, infections and general poor wellbeing. May have been a virus, but could actually just have been your daughters system trying to manage the inflammation. I know a couple of healthcare professionals in Toronto who specialize in inflammation if you are interested. Just send me a message if you are and I can pass on their contact info. May be a good preventative strategy moving forward so there aren't a repeat of the last couple of months.