When to announce pregnancy and how to do it?

I am 2 mos pregnant and I am stressing about how my DC families are going to take the news. I have decided to wait until October to announce my pregnancy to my current families since they may leave me earlier if a September spot became available at a preschool.

I have one family that doesn't start with me until September (I signed them on before getting pregnant). They are full time. I keep going back and forth about whether or not I tell them prior to starting. The reality is, I need them to stay and he would be with me for 6 mos so it is not like he would be with me for only a month or so...WWYD?

When I announce, should I pretend we just found out? Do I act as if this is a surprise and unplanned? The reality is, if we hadn't been planning this pregnancy, I may not even be aware that I am pregnant. I have zero morning sickness (way different than with my first 2 pregnancies) and aside from my pants getting a bit tighter and no period I have no symptoms.

6 months still isn't a very long time and whether you act like you just found out or not, I think they'll be able to do the math and figure that you knew regardless. I understand the position you are in but if the roles were reversed and I was that parent, it would leave a bitter taste in my mouth. To only be with you 6 months and then have to look for another provider, I'd only want my child to have to transition once if I had any control over it which if you are up front with them, they would have that choice.

Take that one family out of the equation for a minute and I think it's perfectly acceptable to withhold this info from your current families if for no other reason than to get through your first trimester. While withholding this info for any kind of financial reason makes sense for your income which I do understand, I think the other family is an exception and regardless of your need for income, I personally think being upfront with them is in the best interest of this child and their family.

I disagree. Not with the reasons of wanting only one transition if given choice but with putting a stranger's family above own.

This is business. We don't tell client all our personal business until we are ready. If moving, they would have less than 6 months notice. If a client was moving, apply for job outside area, they wouldn't tell us in advance. A client will do what in best interest of own family and just because we home day care, that does not negate our right to do same.

If you need protect your income for set period of time, I think you do all you can to do that.

Does it suck for client? Of course. But if contract permit provider giving certain amount of notice, that all you have to do. Just like client can often give more notice than contract say, but opt not to, to protect their day care place.

I think for the current clients, 6 months is plenty of notice. There are some friends and family members that won't be finding out I'm pregnant until I'm 3 months (3 more weeks!) so I definitely won't be telling my dc families until after that.

However, this new family, is tricky. I think I would likely tell them now and give them the choice, if they decide not to come, I'd advertise that I have a spot opening up from xx date to xx date and hope to fill it that way. Not sure about TO but dc spots are sometimes hard to find here so I think the chance of filling it would be okay.

If finances are a concern though, you need to do what's best for YOUR family and don't feel guilty about it!!!

This is why I'm so torn! I had decided before to tell the mom at the end of this week but i am getting cold feet for sure. Truthfully, I can manage financially without them. It would be tighter but more importantly, I would not get the amount I need on EI based on the reduced income. They are nice people and a sweet family so I think I will tell them...the question now is, how? Email OK?

I think email is fine. This way they can read it when they have time and can thoroughly read over their options. Than you can ask them to email or phone you when they've made their decision (I'd set a date that they need to tell you by though)

Well that's great for you torontokids !! Congrats !

For me, I felt me comfortable telling them as soon as possible but NOT before I had a clear definite plan and NOT before the first 12 weeks. Then I announced them one morning when they dropped off and told them not to worry that they will ALL be receiving an e-mail with all the details and how I plan to manage my time off due to medical appointments and when I planed to close and re-opened and all that kind of good stuff. IN the end some left early some left at the very last day but everyone was happy and left in good terms.

It was about ME and what I was comfortable doing or not doing right. So I think as long as you are respectful of your clients but also don't compromise your own situation your decision will work out for the best.

Good luck !!

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Originally Posted by crafty

Well that's great for you torontokids !! Congrats !

For me, I felt me comfortable telling them as soon as possible but NOT before I had a clear definite plan and NOT before the first 12 weeks. Then I announced them one morning when they dropped off and told them not to worry that they will ALL be receiving an e-mail with all the details and how I plan to manage my time off due to medical appointments and when I planed to close and re-opened and all that kind of good stuff. IN the end some left early some left at the very last day but everyone was happy and left in good terms.

It was about ME and what I was comfortable doing or not doing right. So I think as long as you are respectful of your clients but also don't compromise your own situation your decision will work out for the best.

Good luck !!

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Thanks! The tricky part with my situation is that I am closing. If I was staying open or only closing for 6 wks I would be less worried. They have no reason to stick around if something else comes up

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Originally Posted by Suzie_Homemaker

I disagree. Not with the reasons of wanting only one transition if given choice but with putting a stranger's family above own.

This is business. We don't tell client all our personal business until we are ready. If moving, they would have less than 6 months notice. If a client was moving, apply for job outside area, they wouldn't tell us in advance. A client will do what in best interest of own family and just because we home day care, that does not negate our right to do same.

If you need protect your income for set period of time, I think you do all you can to do that.

Does it suck for client? Of course. But if contract permit provider giving certain amount of notice, that all you have to do. Just like client can often give more notice than contract say, but opt not to, to protect their day care place.

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given the fact that she is closing after 6 months, and even at this point knowing that before this child has even started makes this unethical in my opinion. I'd be torn too because finances for any person are obviously number 1, but I couldn't sleep well at night keeping this from them given the circumstances. It's altogether unfair to them and I don't think it's good practice. My concience would cause me to much stress which would make for a somewhat unpleasant period of care in the back of my mind and I always try to put myself in another's shoes if I'm torn. Would I like it if someone did this to me? No way, so why would I treat them as such. If this isn't a case of putting food on the table, then it just seems like the wrong thing to keep from them. Also in all honesty, karma is a bitch!

I would also not feel right. I would tell just this one family that is yet to start. I would be honest and say I still hope you will start your child with me as I am looking forward to having him/her in my group but I totally understand if you rather look elsewhere as I will only be available for 6mths. Don't tell her to go but give the choice to her. You never know they may come on for 6mths. Maybe another daycare they want is not available till the time you close and therefor it work out for all parties. However obviously be prepare that she will not start and look elsewhere. But I too would feel bad letting them start knowing I'm only open for 6 Mths. As for the other families....I'd give my contract notice. Mine is 2wks but I'd probably give them 3-4 wks. Good luck! And know whatever you decide, it will all work out.....try not to stress to much.....your growing a new little one in you. :)

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Originally Posted by babydom

I would also not feel right. I would tell just this one family that is yet to start. I would be honest and say I still hope you will start your child with me as I am looking forward to having him/her in my group but I totally understand if you rather look elsewhere as I will only be available for 6mths. Don't tell her to go but give the choice to her. You never know they may come on for 6mths. Maybe another daycare they want is not available till the time you close and therefor it work out for all parties. However obviously be prepare that she will not start and look elsewhere. But I too would feel bad letting them start knowing I'm only open for 6 Mths. As for the other families....I'd give my contract notice. Mine is 2wks but I'd probably give them 3-4 wks. Good luck! And know whatever you decide, it will all work out.....try not to stress to much.....your growing a new little one in you. :)

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Heh heh, how do you give only 2-4 wks notice when you're 8 months pregnant??

Oh ha. Haha. Ok earlier then. I guess I'm thinking of my self. Im big so I hide it well. Haha