Can you keep my kid clean?

So my daycare has no TV time and the kids spend a lot of time outside. I had a DC parent nervously ask me if there is a way we can keep her child's clothes from getting "so trashed?" Her DD is 18 mos old and generally a messy kid to begin with. She actually loves being dirty and the look of bliss on her face is amazing when she is knee deep in the sandbox etc. I even tell my DC parents that "their kid will go home dirty every day" and that I see this "as a badge of honour." All my other DC parents love this. They love that their kid is having fun and being allowed to explore and play.

In talking to this mom I explained that we use splash pants once its cooler but in the summer the kids will just get over heated. I also suggested if it's an issue to have certain clothes that are for DC only where she won't care if they get stained. She seemed unsatisfied with these suggestions and said it may be a "moot point" anyways because the cooler weather will be coming and the water table will be put away. I said I'm not comfortable stopping her child from having fun and exploring. I don't want the fear of her getting dirty to get in the way of her having fun. She agreed (although hesitantly). Anyone ever had this request? This child isn't coming in fancy dresses or anything but I guess her pants and onesies aren't coming clean e.g. sandy knee stains etc. I suggested the stain cleaner i use but I don't think this was the solution she was looking for. She just wants me to change how they are playing.

That's an impossible request. Kids are going to get dirty no matter what. I've never had anyone ask me that. I think you handled it well!

This kid is probably never allowed to get messy at home at all! The mom doesn't seem to understand that letting kids play and explore and allowing a bit of dirt or mess sometimes, especially outside, is a good thing!

I have it in my contract that parents must send their child in "play" clothes, because messes, stains, accidents, etc happen and we are outside every day that we can. If mom doesn't think that's good enough, what about you or mom just going to the dollar store or value village and buying an outfit or 2 for a couple bucks? Kid arrives, you change them, let them play, change them back before pickup.

It's an unrealistic expectation and you can't accommodate it. If it is that concerning to them let them find a "clean" daycare.

Years ago I was a Girl Guide leader with the 5&6 yr olds. There was a mom that had a 5yr old in my group (and an 8yr old brother) the house rule was the kids couldn't bring paper home. All art work was tossed in the trash can as they left our meetings. Same for school art work. It all went in the trash immediately as mom didn't like paper cluttering the house.

At age 5 this girl had already learned to not put any effort or enjoyment into our art projects because it was thrown out. It was sad. It was an unrealistic rule to put on children.

Kids get dirty, kids should LOVE getting dirty and a dirty child is indeed a badge of honor of a good childcare group. Of course there are always those kids that can't handle getting dirty but it needs to the child that doesn't like it not the parent.

The compromise we came up with was to have her wear her splash pants if its cooler (she could this morning) or just a onesie if its hot. I expressed concern about her knees if she fell wearing just a onesie...this seemed less of a concern to her then her getting dirty, heh heh.

I wonder if the mom is more concerned about the amount of laundry more than the stains? She recently went back to school and is finding the adjustment overwhelming. I wonder if the 2 outfits a day is getting to be too much? (one outfit from the morning and when she picks her up she is normally already wet/sandy).

I'm going to be the oddball one on this one I think lol

I COMPLETELY agree that children should be allowed to play and get dirty and explore their surroundings. However, I can also see why some parents may be a little "upset" at this. I don't know what they are planning on doing after daycare...maybe they're going to a play date, the grocery store, the mall, a relative's house, etc etc so I TRY not to send them home too dirty.

Now having said this, we do messy stuff!! All the time actually! But I do it in the morning so that it is ME that changes them into clean clothes for nap and a play outside until pickup. Water play and sometimes sand play (depending how wet it is) isn't allowed in the afternoon. If we are painting, doing chalk, water play, sensory play, mud, etc than that is in the morning. I feel that the parents are sending their child to daycare to play and have fun but as part of that deal, it will be me that does the cleaning up.

Now of course, from time to time, the kids DO go home dirty (grass stains, food stains, wet from the ground etc) but they aren't going home dirty enough that a parent would ever ask me to keep them clean. They do quite often get a bag of dirty clothes sent home though :)

Well I guess I have a confession to make lol! I am the clean daycare!! Lol. I don't do sand! Nope no way! I rarely get out the paint and if I do it is very limited. I rarely do play dough either.

If the kids get dirty outside no big deal however I don't let them dig holes in the dirt, we don't make mud pies etc. water play is in the afternoon and then they go home wet (or they change out of their bathing suit if we did the pool).

I have heard comments from parents the odd time - "don't get your hair so messy", "don't scuff up your new boots". I have railway ties by my house and sometimes the kids sit on them. One mom was not happy her son got tar on his jeans.

My daughters teacher told me that they will get messy. She already came home with paint on her clothes. It doesn't bother me at all.

Bottom line is I don't care if the kids get dirty, I just don't want it tracked all over my home!! Lol.

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Originally Posted by mickyc

Well I guess I have a confession to make lol! I am the clean daycare!! Lol. I don't do sand! Nope no way! I rarely get out the paint and if I do it is very limited. I rarely do play dough either.

If the kids get dirty outside no big deal however I don't let them dig holes in the dirt, we don't make mud pies etc. water play is in the afternoon and then they go home wet (or they change out of their bathing suit if we did the pool).

I have heard comments from parents the odd time - "don't get your hair so messy", "don't scuff up your new boots". I have railway ties by my house and sometimes the kids sit on them. One mom was not happy her son got tar on his jeans.

My daughters teacher told me that they will get messy. She already came home with paint on her clothes. It doesn't bother me at all.

Bottom line is I don't care if the kids get dirty, I just don't want it tracked all over my home!! Lol.

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My husband is some what of a neat freak. Our house is very clean. But the kids get filthy. I strip them down at the door before the come in for new clothes. All art is done at the table with big smocks on and it is completely cleaned when we finish. When we play at the park shoes come off before the kids get in the car. I shake the sand out so it doesn't come home with us.

I also still make the kids use a bib for every meal, even dry snacks. Full body bibs with arms lol. I have no problem with mess but take the proper measures to contain the mess. I'd rather make 2 and 3yr olds wear bibs that stay completely clean than to have them not wear bibs and get food all over their clothes.

A perfectly clean house doesn't mean kids don't get to have fun and get messy...just means thought and care is put in the contain the messes to the proper places :-)

For the summer they wear long sleeved onesies to protect their skin from the sun for sandbox and water play for the fall and winter muddy buddies as we call the snow suits over in BC
so I change their clothes before we come in winter and summer as I don't want the sand in our new carpet yet the kids still enjoy themselves :)

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Originally Posted by mickyc

Bottom line is I don't care if the kids get dirty, I just don't want it tracked all over my home!! Lol.

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That's me. I don't like my house to get all dirty and keep cleaning it, but I let them play outside in the wet grass, with mud, sand, etc. Mainly during fall/winter kids pants get all muddy and that is the only time I change them (when they feel wet) if there is only dried sand I just dust them and clean up shoes before getting in the house.

Everybody uses large bibs for meal times and for messy sensory play and painting they use long sleeved smocks.

Usually kids get home with some dirt stains, even my crawling baby pants are all stained from the knees even after washing, but I don't even bother to use the stain remover since I know she will get them all stained again and again. No complains so far from families since they have acknowledged in the contract that this would happen. I think if I ever do, I would politely tell them that I cannot accommodate their request due to the nature of my program and it would be their decision whether to stay with me or look for something that better suits them. The only way to avoid kids getting stained here would be to have them restrained during outdoor time and I won't change their clothes unless they are wet or uncomfortable.

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Originally Posted by mickyc

I have railway ties by my house and sometimes the kids sit on them. One mom was not happy her son got tar on his jeans.

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Do you mean actual railway ties? From and old railroad? If I was that parent, I would be upset too because railroad ties contain all kinds of cancer causing chemicals like creosote. And you said they have tar on them... yikes. I just bought a new dryer last week and was reading the "instructions." And it says not to put any oil stained clothes in it. No oil, in any small quantity not even cooking oil. So I can't imagine tar would be safe in there.

As for the rest of it, bring on the messes! Kids generally love dirt and playing in the mud so more power to them. I'm not a clean freek so when I find the little bits of broken leaves and twigs from someone's pocket on the playroom floor... I bring out the vaccuum.

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Lee-Bee: Years ago I was a Girl Guide leader with the 5&6 yr olds. There was a mom that had a 5yr old in my group (and an 8yr old brother) the house rule was the kids couldn't bring paper home. All art work was tossed in the trash can as they left our meetings. Same for school art work. It all went in the trash immediately as mom didn't like paper cluttering the house.

At age 5 this girl had already learned to not put any effort or enjoyment into our art projects because it was thrown out. It was sad.

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That's not just sad, it's pathetic. Keeping a few prized pieces of art work isn't cluttering and if she was going to throw them out, she didn't have to be so blatant about it. I drove my mom crazy with all the "little bits of paper" all over the house when I was a kid. I was always doing some project or another. She certainly didn't keep every picture I ever drew, but two years ago when my parents moved, they cleaned house, so to speak. The whole family gathered around to go through the old cards, school projects and pictures that my brother and I did that she saved. We were in fits of laughter. It is one of my favorite family memories. And all of those things are now thrown out but it's okay, cuz I know they were appreciated at the time.

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torontokids: I wonder if the mom is more concerned about the amount of laundry more than the stains? She recently went back to school and is finding the adjustment overwhelming. I wonder if the 2 outfits a day is getting to be too much? (one outfit from the morning and when she picks her up she is normally already wet/sandy).

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Could be. If the outfit from the morning is just wet and sandy, can't you keep it at your house and hang it to dry? When dry, the sand will come off easily. You don't have to launder it every day, but use it for the week as her dirty clothes and send it home on Friday. I have been doing this with socks for the past week or so. The kids come in crocs with socks. The grass is so wet with dew, the socks get wet but I just rinse in the sink and hang to dry till tomorrow. If I send them home every day, they don't come back.

Yes railway ties from an old railway. The cement blocks at my back door are held in place by railway ties, they are also used as borders on the flower beds. Sometimes the kids sit on the step (railway tie). It was t a huge pile of tar, just a little spot. They are old and weathered ties. It's my yard and how it is.

There are so many cancer causing things around us. I am sure their exposure to the chemicals in my ties are next to nil.

grass stains, food stains that get under the bibs, paint markers stains that come with daycare.
Any parents who complain about kids having fun, need to get out and have some fun themselves. If you want your child to be 'fashion forward' do it on the weekends:)