So frustrated with these parents....

Sorry ladies but you are the only ones who understand what I'm going threw here and always give the best advice so here is my rant for the day!

I have this family in my dayhome who have a 3 year old boy and a 12 month old who will be starting with me in January. They really are such nice people but I am getting way to frustrated with them. First there little boy is my oldest full time child but acts younger than my 18 month old. It's clear his parents REALLY baby him. He came to me from another day home and I don't under stand how he knows nothing. He is not good with a fork or spoons and is unable to use any cup that isn't a sippy cup. He is in the process of potty training which isn't going to bad I have to remind him a lot to go but not to many accidents. He won't even attempt to pull up or take off his underwear or pants. I had a huge struggle with him for a couple weeks now because he refused to put on or take off his shoes or jacket. Every time I tell him to he cries and says I can't but doesn't even actually try. When I pointed this out to the parents they said well we will work on it at home but I can tell they aren't trying because every Monday it starts all over again.

Now my first problem is I feel like I care about this little boy more than his parents and past care provider because I'm the only one who is actually helping him. It would be so much easier to just do it for him but he is three and these are things he needs to know for preschool, kindergarten and just life. His mom asked me to teach him his last name and address so i made him a somg but the parents arent rrying at home so i have yet to get him to say his last name. He has fun when he is here but makes a big fuss in the morning because he knows I'm going to make him do these things. I can tell his mom is frustrated but again I feel it is her making it hard by not also encouraging him.

I am starting to think maybe there is a bigger problem here as he is very clumsy, mumbles most of the time and is way behind all my two year olds. However I don't think it's my place to say anything.

Yesterday the mom asked me to take the little boy for remembrance day which I should have said no because he will be my only child. Her husband is away so she is taking care of her two children alone and says she can't handle it...... her child comes to me full time and she is on maternity leave...... I know I shouldn't judge but seriously?

She is obviously overwhelmed which explains why she isn't trying to teach The little boy these things and also explains why he comes to dayhome with a cookie at least once a week ( 700am and she says he cried if she doesn't give it to him...)

Are my expectations to high? I just don't think it is my job to parent this boy, there should be work on both sides. How will I ever teach him to do anything when his parents give in to his every cry?

Unfortunately it just seems the way parents parent these days. My advice is to not worry about what mom does at home, do what you do at your house and that's it.

I can't help but worry about what she is doing at home as it directly affects my dayhome. I have to look forward to a miserable day of screaming everyday now because they want him to learn these things but want me to do it on my own.

just call her and say sorry but i have decided to support the vets tomorrow, see u on thursday

I just re-read your post. You are taking the child tomorrow?!! No no no no! Stat holiday in my contract. I think I would actually laugh in a parents face if they ever asked me to take a child on a stat day/day off.

Sorry to say but by you saying yes just gives them the inch they need to take a mile!

Nov 11th isn't a stat for everyone.

It isn't an actual stat in Manitoba but it is a day off. In my contract it is a paid day. Only essential services/gas stations etc are open in the morning. Everything else can be open after 1, school is closed. Very sad in other provinces if it is work as usual.

Stat holidays are in my contract as well I just felt so bad for her being so overwhelmed even though I don't understand I feel for her.

at pick-up time just tell her he is the only one in tomorrow so you can't do it, or at least make sure it is a shorter day for him at daycare and arrange the time that suits you

I actually was considering opening tomorrow if anyone needed care. Turns out, at least one parent in every family has the day off this year so it wasn't needed. I have in my contract that it's a paid stat day but I also say that I'll let them know if I decide to stay open for any stat day.

As for the other stuff....it really isn't fair to expect you to do all the work! I would ask what methods they are using at home to teach xyz and say that you will follow their lead. Things like abc's, numbers, manners, colours etc are of course taught here but I don't officially set off to teach them their address and I won't attempt to potty train if I know they aren't on board with it yet because it just causes too much stress in both myself and the child and I feel like it sets us up to fail!

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Originally Posted by mickyc

It isn't an actual stat in Manitoba but it is a day off. In my contract it is a paid day. Only essential services/gas stations etc are open in the morning. Everything else can be open after 1, school is closed. Very sad in other provinces if it is work as usual.

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It's technically classified as an optional stat in MB. It's up to the employer to decide how they wanna handle it

I would actually like to see it go back to the "olden" days as I feel it was honoured more. Now people just view it as a "holiday" which I don't think it should be.

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Originally Posted by Van

at pick-up time just tell her he is the only one in tomorrow so you can't do it, or at least make sure it is a shorter day for him at daycare and arrange the time that suits you

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Personally, I think it is too late for this. She agreed to do it willingly. Always take the time to consider the request before answering!!

Yes, always respond with "let me get back to you on that" when a parent makes a request. Doesn't matter how simple the request. Wait till they are gone so you can think it through clearly before committing to anything!

Unfortunately they are raising a child in a manner that means he will be helpless and dependent for much longer than necessary. They will either need to continue to pay for outside care to manage 2 kids or shape up and train the kids to be independent so they aren't doing everything.

It is sad, yes, that they have made it so they truly don't feel they can handle caring for their own 2 kids at the same time but that is the sad reality of their parenting style.

If your remembrance day is a paid day off it NEVER makes any sense to willingly take one child. You are now working for the same money you would get for not working. If the situation truly arises where it is reasonable to request care on a paid day off then you need to charge at least time and a half...if not double pay. That said, you already agreed to it and it would be unfair to change your mind now. Just ensure in the future you do not respond in the moment and think it through before committing and then make sure you are being paid for your time!!

[QUOTE=Lee-Bee;80861]Yes, always respond with "let me get back to you on that" when a parent makes a request. Doesn't matter how simple the request. Wait till they are gone so you can think it through clearly before committing to anything!


Best advise! I need to remember this as I often want to answer and resolve things quickly and have regretted it. Can say this to my kids and hubby too. Haha

Wow all my parents work as normal tomorrow. I never take the 11th off as its not recognized as a stat in ont. :(

You have to take your heart out of it. Save your heart for the kids not their parents. If she can't handle both kids oh well!! She better hurry up and get used to it - they are hers after all and will be forever.

same here babydon...I have a somewhat similar situation here...I have an almost 3 year old little boy..his mother wants me to potty train him. We talked about it about 6 months ago and I flat out told her.... please don't ask me to treat your child as a "BIG BOY" here at my home....when you treat him like a BABY at home. Please let me know when he is NOT sucking on a bottle anymore...and we will talk." YES...THIS CHILD IS STILL HAVING HIS MILK IN A BOTTLE AT HOME. HE HAS NEVER HAD A BOTTLE AT MY HOUSE IN OVER 18 MONTHS!!! ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS.... It's been 6 months and she still hasn't asked me about it...so can only assume he is still on that BOTTLE!!!: