Very Frustrated

I so cross right now and thought this good place to express frustration.

I have a vacancy which is taking time to fill. It very quiet in this area at moment. A few week back a parent name came up in provider circles warning about parent who making appointments, cancelling or not showing up. Soon after this warning, the lady contact me. I thought I give benefit of doubt and agree to meet last Thursday. I send message 24 hours before reminder and she confirm coming but then on Thursday, she message to reschedule as daughter sick. This is reason she give other providers too. I reschedule for today.

Then on Friday evening, I get message from different parent wanting to come interview. Normally I not do interview on weekend but my husband playing golf on Saturday so I agree since I be home anyway and it not affecting family plan. They come out, wanting part-time for two month before switching to full time. I explain that I have family coming today too and Mom burst into tear and say she desperate come here, brought money for deposit and first two week care. I explain that I felt it only professional honour today's appointment especially as I let this family come weekend when normally they wouldn't been here and that I promise make fast decision by Monday night after see other family.

Late last night, I get message from family who wanted place saying that they could not risk not have place, look at somewhere else on Sunday, been offered place and taking it.

And just now I have message from lady who should be come today, with some other excuse for delaying appointment.

I so angry because I thought I doing professional thing in honouring today's appointment and now I missed out on client.

I wondering how other provider's would have handle it.

Would you have just taken money from lady on Saturday and told today's people they missed out?

Yes. If I loved that client and that child and they offered $$ on the spot then yes I would fill the spot Right then and there and tell other interviews sorry spot no longer available. I have done this before actually.

Now that is just me. I know how some parents especially moms get desperate and want a secure spot right away so if this mom was crying for my spot and I liked the family, I'd go with her. But I can also see ur pt and think ya that's not perfessional I need to honour the other interviews.

You can't do anything now. It totally sucks! And I'm sorry it happen to u :( all you can do it learn from this experience. One..... other caregivers do have merit if they say a parent is not good. U were good to give benefit of doubt but once she canceled that first interview I would have said ok sorry if u don't come tonight then the spot is gone as the other caregivers tried to warn u. And again if a mom comes with $$ in hand, ur spot is open and u like then....take it!

It will be ok though. You can only move forward. Can't do anything about the past. You will fill your spot soon!! I am sure.

I just lost my whole group.....4 children to a local preschool so I'm having a great morning too!!! Hahah!!

Yes I would have filled the space with the family that showed up especially since there were warnings that the other family was always cancelling or a no-show and had already cancelled once ... The woman showed up and offered to sign on the spot !!u

Oh no!! I'm so sorry that happened to you :(

It's easy to say that we'd take the family on Saturday but who knows how we'd feel if we were in the situation. I think it was nice of you to give the other family the benefit of the doubt but I'm so sorry it didn't work out in your favour! I'd personally tell the other family what happened and state, "if you don't/can't attend our next meeting, I will be moving on"

I do interviews one at a time and if a family wants to sign on the spot, and if I like them, I do it. It's happened a handful of times so I just do it this way now as than I usually end up just doing one interview. You sound like a great daycare provider so I'm sure your spot will fill soon :)

Babydom....I feel for you!! About 3 years ago, I lost 3 all at once....to preschool and a mom was laid off. I still remember that feeling of shock, sadness and panic!!! I think within the month though, all spaces filled. It will work out, good luck!!

For my daycare, it is first come first serve. If I interview and the family seems to be a good fit, they are welcome to the spot. Especially, if I've heard negative things about the other family.

I have so many people set up a time and never show up for some reason or another. I wouldn't have risked that I wouldn't get either family.

Twice since March I've had parents make appointments and just not show, and not reply when I sent a message 2 hours afterwards asking if they'd like to reschedule. It's made me pretty cynical... Now I will take any client I want-and just apologize to any other that was waiting for an interview, and offer to do the interview anyway if they're interested in joining a wait list or having back up/casual care when space allows.

It's tough to really know. I have interviewed multiple families for one spot. I have had to make the tough choice to pick one family over others, I have also only had 1 out of multiple interviews interested in the spot. I have also taken the first family to want the spot and then cancelled other interviews saying the spot is filled. I think there is no set way to do the right thing. It's all in what feels right for you.

In this situation I would have likely booked the family from Saturday based on the fact that you have been warned from others and she has already cancelled once. If she keeps cancelling and providers keep filling spots on her then finally she will start showing up the first time.

Thank you.

I kicking myself now for not taking money. Can't undo it now sadly.

Let that family from Saturday know that the spot is available as the other family baled (AGAIN) and who knows maybe things won't work out at the other daycare

I don't work on a first come first serve. I also interview families as well as them interviewing me. I will interview multiple people for the same spot and honor each booked appointment prior to informing families of result. I look for the family who is the best fit for me. First person who wants the spot may not be the ideal family to work with me and their child may not be the best within the dynamic of my current group. I am up front with parents who are interviewing for the same spot and let them know that they should inform me asap if they want the spot, in addition I inform them of when I will let them know either way.

I also insist that a parent who interviews goes home and sleeps on it. I never accept a family on the spot, and it is a red flag to me if someone comes with money and ready to sign to the interview. I prefer those who take some extra time to go home and discuss regardless of how much they like me initially. A desperate family may make rash decisions and while they may love a provider, IMO they haven't had enough time to really think about my contract and policies to be sure that they are entirely on the same page. That being said I know a lot of providers who send the contract out ahead of time for parents to review, I do not do this though.

I understand the stress of needing to fill a spot, but knowing the reputation of the one family from the circle of providers, I wouldn't have rescheduled her after the initial no show. Also I wouldn't have taken the desperate family. Sucks to be out of pocket and have had two opportunities to fill the spot, but I personally don't see either of these families being a good fit for me based on what you have said, although again I know that everyone has different criteria. Unfortunately every time I do give these families the benefit of the doubt, it always ends in regret and I know I should have walked away.

As much as it sucks to be out of pocket, I do think that you may very well have dodged two bullets in this case. No show parent really couldn't indicate any clearer to me high odds that they are an unreliable and difficult client and desperate client who shows up ready to sign on the spot is high risk IMO of not taking tame to consider policies and greater chance of not sticking to policies once some time has passed and they realize perhaps they not able to fully comply since decision for care was mostly made on urgency and availability.

I wouldn't take a deposit at first meeting. I always insist on at least two visits...the second can be a contract signing and deposit giving meeting. But I feel families need to go home and thinking and come back before making such a big decision. If they are just feeling stressed and grabbing what they can find then they are more likely to over look things and make a poor choice.

I would let them know you were not happy with the second family to come through and let them know if they are still interested they are welcome to a second visit. In the least if they find they are unhappy with the daycare they secured they know they can potentially come back to you.

I was thinking that too. Let the Saturday family know ur spot is still open. Maybe they will think, yes I liked that daycare better, ok I'm going there. U never know :)

Maybe it's just me, but I think that trying to act professionally in this business is often lost on people. You explained to the Saturday family what you were doing and why, and they chose to look elsewhere. Absolutely their choice, mind you. Hopefully, they will realise why you said no to them in that moment, and remember that if your name comes up to them in the future. You did what you thought was best, who could ask more of themselves? Good luck.

Oh that is so sad and soo annoying too - it feels like a slap in the face for trying to be professional and honouring the other arranged appointment , so we all feel for you

I do hope you fill the spot soon and there is no harm in emailing the other parent just to let her know the spot is open and see what happens
Good Luck Suzi and Babydom I hope you fill the spots soon

Yes, to clarify, I send out my whole parent package prior to meeting. I don't waste time interviewing families that don't agree to my rules/policies and contract. Than when we meet, it's basically just to see how our personalities mesh and how their child interacts with my current group. Easy peasy!! :) I always tell them to take a day or 2 to think about it but I've had some say they like me and my dc and are ready to sign on. Thankfully, it's worked out thus far!! Lol

I was thinking about this some more. It's odd that the first mom keeps making/cancelling appointments. Does she even need daycare? Does she get a spot than leave? Does she just get a kick out of messing with providers? Strange!

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Originally Posted by 5 Little Monkeys

I was thinking about this some more. It's odd that the first mom keeps making/cancelling appointments. Does she even need daycare? Does she get a spot than leave? Does she just get a kick out of messing with providers? Strange!

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I think maybe she not mentally ready go back work.

I would have done the same as you did. I actually did for the new client I just singed on. Another family was ready to deposit and sing right away but I had a verbal engagement with another family before I met with them. For me it turned out okay because the first family had better hours and just seemed a better fit. (Will see when they start) haha. So don't beat yourself up to much over it. Maybe everything happened as it was suppose too because none of these 2 families sound like the BEST candidates anyway.