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Hi all, has anyone heard of RIE parenting?
Had a parent call and ask about a spot, and after reading about this new, how should I put it nicely "fad", i called her up and informed her I was not a good fit.:no::blink::huh:
Would any of you even entertain the idea of allowing this in your business?
That's my thought. I had never heard of this new"fad" until I received an inquire for care.
I think what gets me is that this is the new in thing for celebs. Fine the can afford 24 hour care, and dozens of nannies to dote on babies.
What about the single mom that works and has to do it all on her own?
I've done some good reading on this since reading this post. I find it quite an interesting concept, although not one I'd adopt altogether. Upon doing some research I think there are some huge benefits in this method like encouraging independence and combating the ever growing issue of helicopter parenting.
I think like anything though, extreme measures are not always, if rarely, going to end well. Implementing a child's eating to be self feeding as early as possible, at a child safe table without restraint but in fact teaching them rather than restraining them, and drinking out of open cup vessels is something of great benefit to children. As for toys, I guess not taking what you read to literally in that the no toys thing really translates to, real world play versus mass marketed plastic BS, do your research on that because Mattel and Barbie have a lot to be accountable for, and no plastic full stop can not be slated as a bad thing at all.
Talking to children like adults is something I take issue with at age 1 and they just physiologically aren't developed enough to understand, but not to say that the opposite is any better, with a stupid squeaky baby voice and praising and disciplining in the same tone is just ridiculous. I've asked a lot of open questions to my kids and tried not to tell them in a power struggle, superior/inferior/respect your elders kind of way, what they should do, how they should act etc etc. "Just do as you are told", without explanation. I also never sought to suppress their expression of emotion...to a point. As long as nobody was being hurt, and it wasn't the middle of the night lol I am very close with my teenagers now and while we talk about everything...Nothing is all positive, all the time as I'm sure all parents know. Try teaching a child that they can be open and honest with you, and they are allowed an opinion of their own and to be self confident and proud of who they are, and then deal with a teenager who doesn't seek to fit in with the peer groups of high school girls....that's a tough call, she will be better for it, but a hard thing to deal with now. Try having a conversation with a teenage boy who is in fact correct and doesn't understand the concept of doing as he is told "just because" if it doesn't fit with his own moral compass lol Not one of us is perfect, and I don't believe any parenting style is either. I get flack off friends for how I raise my children and how liberal I am, but screw their opinion of how I parent my kids. They are damn good kids and if it wasn't one thing it would be another. Believe it or not, I am the bad cop in our household, my husband is the pushover. No means no. If you want to talk about it, then fine, once, but the answer is still the same.
Additionally, the way each parenting style is adopted and implemented will be different so not every child parented a certain way will be the same. I have a harder time with standardized conforming social norms than anything else. My son is 2E and anything standardized suppresses him and it is a massive disservice to him, so maybe that is why I have this opinion because I see it from another angle.
I think a lot of parenting styles seek to pacify a child, and in the reality of todays world, that is what we need in the moment to be able to juggle our busy lives. Is it the best thing for the child though? Likely not, but do I think that in the grand scheme of things it`s a bad thing? Not particularly but within reason. I am guilty of this like many others I am sure.
Lots of toys are educational and fun and spark imagination, but this current generation is often spoiled to the point of entitlement and under appreciative and I honestly think this method of teaching play without commercial toys would be of great service to this generations youth. But in order to learn one must be taught and parents are usually to busy, me included, or to tired. Plus its hard to teach an old dog new tricks. Got to start from day one.
From what I read about this, it's also not a new method, only a fad because celebrities are painted that way by the media, and because of gossip. In a society where non-conforming to social norms presents huge obstacles, no wonder most go along with the herd. This post exactly. Standardized models of care where variance is not able to be tailored to in cases like this. Attachment parenting is also another style that gets slaughtered a lot in addition to homeschooling. Although I'd hazard a guess that most children grow up to be well adjusted and perfectly independent and social human beings, it is outside of the norm and gets slandered, a lot! Hearing more about the negatives than the positives.
I couldn't take a child like this because I couldn't accommodate the style, but what a neat idea to have a daycare or schooling setup that could. Similar to Montessori, it could be implemented into a daycare, but would just take a bit of working and everyone would have to do the same thing. I imagine most difficult for a child coming in at a later age without the early stages of none commercial play in place. A realistic alternative approach could work wonders for many children.
Sorry for going on, just going with my train of thoughts. Thanks for bringing up this as I had not heard of it before. Fascinating really...
I don't think this parenting style claims anywhere to prevent children from playing and having fun. It just takes a different approach to playing without the mass marketing commercial toys, which can in fact have negative consequences unbeknownst to many.Quote:
Originally Posted by mattsmom
Just as an idea of toys/playtime that would fall into this parenting style, look up treasure baskets. They are all household objects that are used for play and discovery. Typically aimed at children as soon as they are able to manipulate the items. Also no adult interaction is "allowed" only observation. Children are to play with the baskets and content as they choose.
I do these on a regular basis and have a number of them set up in my basement ready for rainy days and themes.
I haven't heard of this before. I do find, having just read up on it that a lot of it makes sense. Some of it we already do in daycare settings (child size furniture, sitting in chairs not high chairs, eating without throwing everything on the floor etc. BUT, like most everything as a whole it just can't be easily done in a group setting. BUT, a lot of it can in a slightly modified way.
When I took my ECE exersaucers were referred to as "the circle of neglect" which is essentially what they are...a place we toss a young child when we can't pay any attention to them. Are they evil, no. Are they developmentally needed, no. But, when you are one adult with many children sometimes you just need to put a child somewhere safe so you can tend to other things...so they do serve a great purpose (same for playpen, highchair etc). Not ideal for long periods of time but essentially for making it through our day.
Interesting parenting style but like ANY parenting styles parents that will need daycare later on need to realize that daycare runs differently and they have to prepare their children for those changes, BEFORE those changes take place.
I just read up on it but I would have called her back and said not a good fit too
I hadn't heard of it before. I just read the main page on rie.org and those principles all seem like good objectives. I do montessori, and they seem very similar. No restraints for infants (exersaucer, high chairs, etc), having an environment scaled to the child, helping the child to do things for themselves, following their interests for learning. We have toys, but they are open ended toys (like blocks, or for role play (dolls, kitchen). During our morning work period, I introduce an activity during circle time, then they can choose anything they want to work with. I keep record of what they've done, how they progress and what will be next.
Just wondering how anyone would manage meal time for infants without using high chairs
as i have 4 infants and I would be lost without my highchairs LOL
Toddler sized chairs with a waist strap (made with buckle and backpack strapping from fabric store). The belt just keeps them from running off...they can sit on their own from 10months + for sure. I had 5 kids 10-14months last year and no highchairs. Small amounts of food on the table in front of them at a time (with suction cup plates). They learn quick :-) Kids, even under a year old, are capable of a lot if you expect it of them (and are patient about it).Quote:
Originally Posted by Van
I know about it, mostly through following Janet Lansbury on facebook. I like a lot of things about it, and agree with allowing your child to be independent early on, and letting them develop at your their own pace. I like her thoughts on not "walking" your child before they are ready to walk. I also talk to all my daycare kids like I would with an adult. How else would I talk to them? The more you talk to them, the more they understand.
I use a regular table for lunch, so I do use high chairs until they're stable enough for a jr chair (from ikea, no straps, just child sized and taller, with cross bars to help them climb up), around 18mo. For snacks we use the classroom. Toddlers/preschoolers eat at their table, the infants eat at a special lower table (sawed off coffee table with shortened ikea chairs). They learn quickly to stay at the table til everyone is done eating. It takes a few reminders for new kids, but they get used to it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Van
Thanks for the ideas of life beyond the regular high-chair Lee-Bee and Kindredspirit :)