Any providers been in this busness more than 10 years? Seriously is this job getting harder due to busy working families. Parents not taking the time to disipline etc...
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Any providers been in this busness more than 10 years? Seriously is this job getting harder due to busy working families. Parents not taking the time to disipline etc...
I havent been in business for ten years, but you are right things have changed I am in my late 20's and the way my grandparents did things and took time to do things is way different, respect is a big thign so many are disrespectful now... in so many ways
I know that a couple of my daycare children are coddled to a ridiculous extent. I am a very involved and attached parent who doesn't yell or belittle my kids, but it seems that a few of these parents let their kids rule their household, just so not to ever have the child in the least bit upset.
Anyone else see this trend? Parents who avoid upsetting their kids at all costs?
Ooohhhhhh, don't get me started.... Lol
I think that parenting these days has lost all meaning, honestly. People are so worried about being their kids friends, that they will do whatever the child wants. Actually, I think a larger problem is just plain LAZINESS. And I see it with young parents and older parents alike.
Case in point; we had family staying with us over the weekend. Their not-quite-3 yr old was up until after midnight (even though our kids were already in bed). They kept saying "ok, Little Girl, bedtime". LG says "NO!". And they do nothing. This went on for 2 hours. They actuallly told me that they just don't like to deal with her tantrums.
My hubby explained it all as "they are young parents, they just have to mature a little". But I was a 19 year old mom, too. And my kids are polite, and they listen (most of the time, hahaha). They don't destroy others' property, and I never have to worry about them treating other people poorly. They ain't perfect, but I get compliments ALL the time about how good they are. While LG's waiting for her parents to "mature", she is developing into regular brat.
Guess what people?? Parenting is hard sometimes, and you gotta do it everyday. What did you think you were getting into? But if you put the work in at the beginning, it's a hell of a lot easier later.
I also think that people just don't think things all the way through. For example; a daddy that always wrestles and plays rough, just doesn't realize that he is teaching junior that that's how we play with everyone. And then is surprised when junior tackles the other kids at daycare. I saw a mom playing with her baby a few days ago. Baby was a little under a year old, and started smacking mommy (hard!) in the face and chest. She wasn't doing it out of malice or anger, she thought it was funny. Me; I would take baby's hand and say "Oh, owies! Please don't hit, it hurts". We don't need to yell or scream or hit baby's hand away. But tell her that's not how we play!! Instead mommy laughed and kissed baby all over. So in 3 to 6 months, that mommy may be wondering why little darling thinks its funny to hit someone.
Sheesh... I could probably rant about this for a really long time. But I think that's enough. LoL
I am a newish mom (my son is 15 months old) and a new day home provider. I was previously a Nanny and I have definitely noticed a change in lack of parenting and poor behaviour. It is unreal how coddled some kids are and also how so many parents let their kids "rule the roost". I pray everyday that I will have the ability to actually PARENT my child. I would love to be my son's friend but I am his mother first. I want a child that is quiet and polite in restaurants, that uses good manners, is not a bully on the play ground, and so on. I know it will take lots of work and that my son will not always appreciate it but I want better for my son than what I see from other children.
Yup, I have 1 of these in care right now. I have to retrain him and it sucks :(Quote:
Originally Posted by mom-in-alberta
I have one who hits her mom in the face (she is 20 months) and the mom's reaction is so sweet and mild although she hates it...I can't believe anyone would allow a child to hit them!!! Where do parents think this is going to lead? Thankfully, that same child has never pulled a similar stunt with me and is not aggressive with the other kids. I agree with the others...parents are in this "heaven forbid our children might not like us" mode and it is ridiculous! Our children are our children, not our friends and they don't have to like us all of the time.
Just my opinion, but kids haven't changed PARENTING SUCKS THESE DAYS!!!!!
It is ok to say NO, it is ok to tell children you are the boss and they are the child and rules are rules and they are not in control of the family. It is not ok that a child who behaves well for me all day long turns into a pathetic whining mess of a kid that I don't even recognize when his Mom arrives to pick him up. Yes I tell her this!
It is not ok that a baby who is 1 year old or an older baby who is learning a lot of words who is 19 months old try fake baby crying. Their parents fall for it, but when I say hey stop - they do! Parents have to learn to parent!
Was just going to say that but thought someone might jump all over me. Some behaviours just deserve a quick swat on the butt and a firm NO! It isn't the kids that have changed it is the parents and each generation gets more week-kneed in the presence of their children than the last. I've been in daycare for over 25 years. What kids that come to my daycare learn very quickly is that when I say no I mean no. And while spanking is no longer allowed I do not pander to the kids or speak with smiles or hugs when I am correcting behaviour. They know that they have done wrong by the tone and volume of my voice. BUT because they know what my limits are they rarely push it more than once and because of that there is little need for discipline. I don't send a child to time out I simply tell them in my stern voice to stop, change the activity whatever and they rarely disobey. But when the parents come wow the nonsense that goes on at the door. I can stand only so much of that before I step in and remind the child that they are still in my house and as such will follow the behaviour rules of my house. I love the gaping mouths of the parents as the child stops and settles and does what they are supposed to do and the parent just stands there holding the coat not knowing what just happened.
In fairness to parents they are afraid to parent and who can blame them. "Emotional abuse" that is the culprit. In it's true form yes it is a bad thing with long term negative consequences. But it does not mean never saying no to a child or not buying them what they want or making them eat vegetables or any other "mean" thing on their list. Common sense is so lacking in society as a whole we need to pity the parents as they are just doing what they have been told or their interpretation of what they have been told.
I have been told I am so strict because I do not let my son have everything he asks for, yes you read that right. Like today was a prime example he decided that he was going to start breaking all his crayons while we were out for lunch...I told him to stop obviously didn't; so I had the waitress take his picture away and remove the crayons.He was also having a bird cause he wanted apple juice and refused to touch what he had asked for (I gave him 2 choices, so I also had the waitress pack up his food, and told him if he couldn't eat it nicely, then he was going to the car)
He started to wale...like I mean, bawl, so I took him to the car and said he was being very rude, (him bawling all the way out and people staring..) He was not allowed to go back in until he said sorry, and he had to apologize to the waitress for breaking the crayons (even though they weren't really hers)
People were commenting when I came back in that I bullied my child, and that he was to young to understand what sorry meant. (he is three)
When he came back to the table he had his food without a word, and told me he was sorry, and kissed me on the cheek, how was that bullying?
It's a sad world when people say a 3 year old is too young to understand "sorry". Even my youngest child who is 17 months understands sorry and gives hugs (she can't say it yet). Discipline does not just start at some magic age...it starts right from day one and grows with the child. Those same people judging would have judged just as much if you had let him scream and disrupt everyone...then they would have whispered about what a brat and how you can't control your kid. You can't win, so I just ignore all the looks and do my own thing. Most parents cave to the pressure though...they want to quiet the kid fast so people will stop staring, so they give him what he wants. It's not a very family friendly society here in North America I am afraid.
Not starting soon enough is a big issue. I so hate getting an older child into care and by that I mean over 18 months, lol. I want them as young as they can be and then they grow up thinking my way and my rules is the way. I start right from the beginning to enforce the way things will be and by the time they are old enough for it to matter they know and don't challenge. One example that seems silly but I have a one year old now learning what part of my kitchen is off limits. I have my working area (sink/stove/counter/fridge) and that U shaped alcove is a no enter area. I refuse to turn around from the stove with a hot pot and have a child underfoot. So everytime the baby comes in I move her out and say no we don't play here and of course she screams but I just go back to doing my cooking and repeat moving her as needed. Yes putting her in the highchair would be easier but doesn't give me this teaching moment. Now even the three year old will ask me if he wants to go into the alcove to put something in the garbage because he knows it is off limits. The sooner they learn these things the happier we all get along and down the road there is no unteaching needed which is the best part BUT it can sound harsh and unreasonable to treat the baby that way until you understand why it is being done.
My 2 year old understands 'please' 'sorry' and 'thank you' they are part of our vocabulary and we talk about compassion and empathy regularly.
I have not been doing this for long, but if I think about how kids were when I was growing up compared to now... I do think things have changed. I sometimes feel like i`m too hard on my kids but I think that there are things that are just unacceptable, and refuse to have my kids behave a certian way. I dont know how many times I have had to tell my school age daycare kids who are allowed a certian behaviours, or allowed to use certain language at home with their parents that I will not allow in my home, that even if their parents allow it it is NOT acceptable when you are with me in my home!
Just to add to my last post... thismorning I got told.... TOLD ....by one of my daycare kids, a boy who is 6.5, that he follows rules at school but he doesnt have to follow the rules at my house because I'm not a teacher and this isnt a school. When I tried to explain to him that regardless if he is at school or not, when he is at my house he follows my rules out of respect for me... he just raised his voice over mine and told me no he doesnt have to bc he doesnt have to at home either....
Nice eh?
I can't STAND when parents of children who are bullies are all like "we don't know where she gets it from??" ummm...YOU.
wow lilac, how did that work out? I probably would have told the parents (with the child present) exactly what he said and see how he reacted. The kid sounds like he's trying to see where the line is... I'm thinking he found it lol
I didnt see mom today, our school xmas concert was today so they went home with her afterschool.
He and his sister are the ones that are leaving me b/c of my mat leave, tommorow is their last day. I know he gives his parents a hard time and what I see at daycare is nothing compared to how he behaves at home. Hes always kinda had a bit of a smart alec attitude, but usually only needed reminding of how he is speaking to others. However his attitude towards me seems to have gone downhill here with me over the past couple of weeks. I dont know... does he figure he doesnt have to listen to me b/c I"m not going to look after him anymore?
Basically, I spoke firmly to him about speaking to everyone not only adults but everyone with respect and left it at that. His last day is tommorow, after that the new nanny can deal with the attitude. I did speak to my own kids about respecting the rules of whoever's home you are in and how they treat and speak to adults regardless of if they are teachers or not.
Lilac: he might actually be acting out because he knows that you won't be caring for you, and he's going to miss you! I know I had a little girl who always had a change in her behaviour if something was changing in her environment (ie; a move or some such thing). She was only 2, but it was like she could sense it.
Or, he might just be a brat. LoL :)
He was a little bugger again today, back talking, lying to me, bashing toys off the support posts in my basement. But when it came time to go he gave me a big long hug, which he NEVER does, his sister huggs me all the time, but he has never been affectionate to me at all. I was kinda surprised bc we were butting heads the whole time he was here today, but maybe that was part of it (although I suspect there is a bit of the brat factor in there too! LOL!)
I had a little girl graduate in Sept. and I swear she was a little terror for the last 2 months. Some of my friends who have been in business a lot longer than I have told me that they do see this behaviour a lot when the children know their time at the daycare is coming to a close. Who knows how a child's brain rationalizes or understands why there is going to be a big change in their lives that everyone is telling them about? I have to admit I prefer babies so I can train them right, although right now I have 2 new babies and they are both criers and it's wearing me down a bit. But I'm sure they will be happy soon and all will be wonderful in my world again.
good luck momof4, criers always seem to exhaust me too. I'm sure it will pass quickly!
Lilac, he's going to miss you, you impacting his life in a positive way :)