Support please

[torontokids]

What about renting the basement out as you suggested. You take your vacation with your daughter to get in better head space. Maybe see your family so you have offers of childcare and you can take time for yourself. Start selling off your daycare stuff and throw that money at your debt or look into refinancing your mortgage and use that money to pay off your debt. Then you have just one bill that once amortized over 20 yrs is not that substantial and may be more manageable. You could also look at part time work one or two evenings a week to help out and get you out of the house so you can start to get your identity back.

[Lee-Bee]

What about renting the basement out as you suggested. You take your vacation with your daughter to get in better head space. Maybe see your family so you have offers of childcare and you can take time for yourself. Start selling off your daycare stuff and throw that money at your debt or look into refinancing your mortgage and use that money to pay off your debt. Then you have just one bill that once amortized over 20 yrs is not that substantial and may be more manageable. You could also look at part time work one or two evenings a week to help out and get you out of the house so you can start to get your identity back.

Thanks...I've put the ball in my husband court to take some time and figure out what he wants. I made it clear that I was not willing to give up on our marriage. He said he needs time (undefined amount of time) to see if he wants a divorce or to see if over reacted and made a big mistake.

If he decides to try and work things out then we just need to get creative and make some sacrifices. If he is willing to flex on life a bit then money is not an issue. We have a second house we rent out. It could easily be sold and that money could pay off my debt and keep us going. Would he do that...doubt it. We are both of the mindset that my debt is mine and I really don't want him paying it off. I have always stressed about not pulling my weight...quitting work to have time and energy to devote to him and to fix things is a huge, huge step for me. It means he has to pick up my slack...and I hate that. But, if it helps I'll swallow my pride.

I HATE the idea of having someone living in our house. He proposed the plan awhile back and I shot it down. We don't need the income and I just don't like strangers in the house and the people they bring through...with a child now it freaks me out even more. But, I would be willing to take that leap if it helps bring in some money as a 'pretend income' for me. I can sell everything off (it's all good quality and near brand new) but I still doubt it'd bring in a huge amount second hand.

Anyways...the ball is in his court. I indeed have to sit around and see. Sucks to be me...but I will give him some time. Hopefully my being away with our daughter for a week is enough for him.