Grumpy/ crying ( sorry, longer that i though it would be! )

Ok! I have 2 questions,

I have a 15 MO boy in care. He's 1 week into his integration, his mom drops him off around 12:30 and pick him up around 4:30. He is now doing much better with drop off, he will cry for a minute or two and then he's good to go! Until Nap time comes!
His mom still rocks him to sleep 3 times a day until he's asleep... then he puts him in the crib and if he wakes up, she stays with him and rubs his back until he's asleep again... if he cries, she will pick him up and rock him again. Now we all know that I don't have time to do that! It would be unfair to the other children that goes straight to sleep and Unfair to myself aswell since I would lose some of my very important quiet time..... for my sanity mostly.
Now we are doing a slow transition, I rock him to make him more relaxed and then i put him in the playpen awake.... But you can imagine the kind of meltdown I have. I usualy stay with him in the room until he fall asleep... but yesterday he cried for 75 minutes.... and he never fell asleep! We tried giving him his mom's scarf so he can have her smell, i has 3 blankets from home, his teddy bear... and TONS of white noise! I don't know how to help him more..... How long should I leave him in the playpen crying...? I know it will adjust but I just feel so bad for him!

Other thing on my mind, I have a almost 3 YO girl that has been grumpy all week, she cries for no reason, she won't play with us and she started to wet the bed....... AGAIN!
Should I try to invite her to participate in the activities and if she refuses I just '' let her be?'' and invite her every once in a while? She usualy is in a very good mood and since the little 15 MO started coming she is acting up! :no:

I wouldn't do any more activities with him before putting him down. I would put him into a playpen in a dark room and go in and check on him about every 10 minutes.I wouldn't get involved in his crying or protesting. I expect that he's not going to like it and I understand that he doesnt. He has a right to express his feelings all through nap. I would stay out of that and give him his privacy.

Ok! and... would you let him in the room for the 2 hours or after a while you go pick him up? I'm very confused about this situation since my son is an awesome sleeper and all the other kids are pretty good as well.
I know that he will eventualy understand... but i feel so bad for the poor guy

Is mom giving him a morning nap? How long is the nap if so, and when does he get it? That may be a problem. Also, if he gets dropped off at 12:30, how long does he have to adjust to being there before nap time starts?
Mom needs to stop comforting him ASAP. This is not helping him at all. Do not go back in the room. Do not pick him up. You will have just undone all that you did before by letting him cry. Leave him there for the full time. He will quickly learn that at nap time, he is expected to sleep, and you will not come in to get him. Even if mom doesn't do this at home, he will learn that at your house he is to go to sleep on his own.
It sounds harsh, but if mom isn't going to help, then it needs to be this way, imo.

Also, the girl is probably just reacting to the unrest in the household. Try talking to her to see if she can tell you what is upsetting her.

Mom is giving him a 45 to 60 nap time around 8:30... he is a early rise ( around 5:30) so I don't think it's causing him not wanting to sleep... Usualy he is happy again 5 minutes after mommy leaves... and nap time start at 1... so he has 25 minutes of happyness...!

he is starting full time on the second week of febuary, I just need to hold on that much longer...! I asked her to put him down awake and letting him cry it out for a little but... she wasn't too excited about it, but she said that she will give it a try.

And thank you for telling me to let him cry. I know that's what he needs... i just feel terrible for doing it.

I wonder if he would do better with you if he was there all day? For the reasons the others mentioned. Is mom giving him a morning nap? That may throw it all off right there.
At this point, there is nothing more you can do to "help" him fall asleep. I keep it very consistent for sleep here. We have a bum change before lunch, I clean them up after lunch, then take them one by one from the highchair to their nap zone. Sing a little song, have a QUICK cuddle while singing and then lay them down. Walk away, close the door, and come back at the end of nap/quiet time.
It gets so that the little ones are saying "night night" to the other kids as I am unbuckling them, LoL.
It is super hard to hear them cry, but I REALLY strongly believe that it is in the best interests of everyone. Mom has to be on board here, or it is going to be even harder, on HER SON.

And it does sound like the other little one is just a little stressed out by this. But have mom and dad mentioned anything? Maybe some changes going on at home?

her dad only mentioned that she had a hard time sleeping on tuesday... I'm thinking it's from being tired since all she could ear was the little guy crying.... so I moved her to an other room and she is sleeping better since she can't ear him cry... I guess it could take a few days before et gets better. she was doing better after snack though... so hopefully tomorrow I will get my little smiling 3 YO back! :)

as for the boy... well I'll keep on doing what i've been doing with him... He's the last one to go down because he takes more time... and it gives me a chance to spend a minute or 2 with him to try to calm him down... I'm looking foward for febuary!

Hope your little one adjust quick for you!Im just happy I'm not alone!! I have a little one that is sssooo loud at nap she is the loudest screamer I've heard. I only have her on Fridays which I'm sure doesn't help. But am also trying the cry it out and its hard!!!!! Good luck!!

thx! my little screamer didn't come today. he has a nasty cough... i'm kinda glad... ( that he stayed home... not that he's sick...! i need to rest a little... CRAZY week!