"Please stop potty training"

So, I have a little guy (23 months) who showed signs of readiness for potty training. And...I was really tired of his #2s in his diaper :woot: So within a week, I had him trained. Not outside and not sleeping, but 100% in the house.....apparently just at daycare, though. His mom says that at home he will not go on the potty. He pees all over the floor and doesn't tell them. Here he peed once on the floor the first day. After that, he SO got it. I don't even have to tell him when to go...he just goes.
BUT since it's not working at home, mom wants me stop here. Back in diapers, put away the potty. But, I don't want to. It works here. It's a great first step. Why say, "ok, you can, but nah, here's a diaper, pee away" ?!?! :no:
Do I have to respect mom's wishes? They are generally great parents and we always see eye to eye...until this.

sounds like she's a little jealous that it works for you and not her. You probably can imagine the feelings that go along with it.
Has she only asked that you stop? or have you had a conversation about continuing at your house and stopping at home?

I wouldn't stop! That's SOOOOOO confusing for a kid!

No way, really? He should be praised! And how about the financial aspect...saving on diapers? Sure!! I just don't get parents. I would be tempted to do what you always do and throw a diaper back on 15 min. Before pick up time.

I wouldn't even throw a diaper back on him before leaving. Obviously he is ready, but knows how to push his parents buttons!

Why stop when it works for you!? Congrats to the little guy! :)

LOl I'd probably be a little sneaky and throw the diaper back on 15 min before pick up too. then when she teaches his at home she feels good that it was HER doing.

I would never revert backwards either. If he's doing it for you fantastic! Keep doing whatever it is you are doing. If she wants him in diapers at home then he gets put in one just before leaving your house and she can keep him in them until she sees fit.

I get that she wants him to do it at home and for her, but why make your child go backwards??? I have a little here who is the opposite...will do it at home but refuses to even try here...so she stays in diapers here until she is ready to do it here and at home she is in underwear...

She definitely wants me to stop if he doesn't improve at home over the long weekend. She said she wants both of us to do the same thing, and if it doesn't work at home she stops, therefore I stop.
But I won't. The other day the dad said they asked him to go potty...he didn't, then did it right after in his Pull-Up. Well, duh! A Pull-Up is a diaper. They gave him the choice. Here there are no Pull-Ups unless we're going outside. It's potty or all over yourself! Guess what, he chooses potty!
Thanks ladies. At least I know I'm not being stubborn. I can NOT go back to his #2s in a diaper! Trust me!!!!!

I've had others that have a lot of accidents at home after daycare even if it works here. I think that's more a matter of the child just being tired.

I have the same problem...little one who has been doing really well at home, but won't go for me...won't even try! It's a little frustrating for his parents, but we've tried everything. I can't imagine telling the parents that they should stop at home too since it isn't working here (to turn the situation around). However, I do think you need to have an honest discussion about it with the parents. I would explain all the reasons why you think it is better for the child to continute training with you. I wouldn't lie and pretend he is wearing diapers.

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Originally Posted by michellesmunchkins

I would never revert backwards either. If he's doing it for you fantastic! Keep doing whatever it is you are doing. If she wants him in diapers at home then he gets put in one just before leaving your house and she can keep him in them until she sees fit.

I get that she wants him to do it at home and for her, but why make your child go backwards??? I have a little here who is the opposite...will do it at home but refuses to even try here...so she stays in diapers here until she is ready to do it here and at home she is in underwear...

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Originally Posted by kangaroomama

I have the same problem...little one who has been doing really well at home, but won't go for me...won't even try! It's a little frustrating for his parents, but we've tried everything. I can't imagine telling the parents that they should stop at home too since it isn't working here (to turn the situation around). However, I do think you need to have an honest discussion about it with the parents. I would explain all the reasons why you think it is better for the child to continute training with you. I wouldn't lie and pretend he is wearing diapers.

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Kangaroomama I have tried everything with her as well. I don't give candy as rewards but use sticker books and other items to encourage them to try. I won't force them either. If she flat out refuses then that's the end of it. I won't have a child upset and crying over peeing on the potty. When she's ready to do it here it will happen. I'm sure the parents aren't happy that she won't do it here either since she's so good with it at home. It all takes time and they eventually come around and do it when THEY are ready. I keep encouraging it everyday, but no pressure!

Ya that is a tough one for sure ... I am generally one for 'consistency = success but well in this case there is success despite the inconsistency :unsure:.

Personally if the child is showing interest and success in the program I would not force him back into the diaper for program either ... that would be like refusing to allow a toddler 'solids' in the program when they were asking for them and able to manage them because at home he turns his nose up at the parents cooking and will only eat 'baby food'!

I would just explain to the parent that sometimes it is normal to want to be like the other kids in the group but at home to go back to what is comfortable and easy - this is why some kids talk more in program, engage in more self directed play, willing to write their name and so forth or a in this case want to pee on the potty verses the diaper and it is your role to ENCOURAGE their independence ... however if they do not want to push training at home that is cool and you respect that but that in the program you do not want to DISCOURAGE it either and therefore if he is continuing to show interest and success for you that you need to be supporting him in that until the interest and success rolls over into home as well.

I would be asking mom to use pullups instead of diapers then you can do whatever you want at daycare. Tell her you will keep working with him at daycare because he is learning to follow what his friends do and the more he gets used to it the sooner he will start doing it at home when his friends aren't there. That makes it sound like it has nothing to do with you but all about him and his friends - as in mom is not at fault. That should please both of you, and yes you can teach him that we do not pee in our pullup at daycare. I train only using pullups until they are well trained before we do underwear. Just not worth my trouble to clean up underwear messes.

I've always found that kids know that Pull-Ups are just glorified diapers. They can pee in them, so they do. They've never worked for me. I use them to go out or naps. How do you get them to not pee in a Pull-Up?

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Originally Posted by gcj

I've always found that kids know that Pull-Ups are just glorified diapers. They can pee in them, so they do. They've never worked for me. I use them to go out or naps. How do you get them to not pee in a Pull-Up?

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I agree ... I only like them as a 'containment unit' overtop of underwear during that 'last' stage of training where they are in underwear but still having the odd accident so I do not get pee all over my furniture or carpets or carseats.

The trick is not to make the switch too soon. Start training using diapers and just putting them on at strategic times when you would normally change diapers. Once they get the hang of going on the potty, are staying dry several hours ....all the usual signs then you make the switch. Do not call a pullup a diaper. Sometimes call them diaper pants vice underpants. They usually have a character on them and we do not pee on Dora or Thomas or whoever. I put them back into a diaper for outside, outings, naptime because we are not responsible if we pee while we are sleeping or not near a bathroom but when we are awake we are in our pullup and expected to pee.

Have the parents put a pullup on before coming with a happy face drawn on it in sharpie marker. They get a special treat from parents when they get home if they go home with the same pullup. I do not give treats at daycare for peeing - it is just something we do because we are growing up as in they do it for themselves not for me.

Yes it can take awhile doing it this way but I see no reason when pullups are available that I should have to deal with accidents at daycare. For the difference of a couple months if that it is so a more sanitary version. There is no magic age by which a child is supposed to be trained so I don't fret it anymore and it just happens naturally when the body and mind are ready and no matter what we do we can't make it happen any sooner just frustrate everyone.

Playfelt I love the happy face idea!

I don't understand how this affects mom and dad, really? Ok, so he's having accidents at home. They can deal with that how they choose. But if he is not having accidents at your home, then I would say what's the big issue with him being "potty trained" at your house?
I agree that it sounds like he is using this as a control issue at home!!
I don't think I would feel comfortable saying, "Too bad, I am going to keep doing what I think is best." or fibbing to the parents about what you are doing. I think you have to let mom and dad know what you are thinking, including "I find it difficult and un-necessary to change his poopy diapers when I know that he is willing and able to use the potty."
And I find that parents often switch to pull-ups waaaaaay too soon, so yes, the child believes that they are just a new kind of diaper. We made wearing a pull-up a reward in itself, and used the same "Don't pee on Diego/Dora!" tactic. Pull ups are for AFTER the child has had experience using the potty, and has shown some success doing so.

I think you are amazing to have this little guy trained at 23 months at daycare! I have a little boy who turns 2 this month who has not shown any interest in the potty yet. The other ladies have provided all the great advice so I just wanted to pat you on the back.:thumbsup:

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Originally Posted by Momof4

I think you are amazing to have this little guy trained at 23 months at daycare! I have a little boy who turns 2 this month who has not shown any interest in the potty yet. The other ladies have provided all the great advice so I just wanted to pat you on the back.:thumbsup:

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ah, thanks Momof4. I can't take all the credit....he was quick. Just shows how they all have different strengths...he's not the quickest in many other areas...he barely even talks at all! But apparently he understands this.

And that makes it even worse to ask him to stop the one thing he seems to be good at. As long as he asks to go potty or wants a turn to sit on the potty like the other kids then let him and I wouldn't tell mom. I often have kids starting to train here before home because I let them "try" if they want to. When I think they can I will ask them if they want a turn and if they say yes we do. It is all about learning what to do - just like they say to let a child sit on the potty seat with their clothes on to get used to it - not that I agree with that but not everything we do at daycare gets told to parents. There would be absolutely no pressure if child said no they didn't want to.