Ahh it's getting ugly....short payment

DCG who's 3 stayed home Wednesday & Today because she'd been throwing up since Tuesday dinner-time.

1st - mom text me 20min before her due arrival on Wednesday (mistake #1) saying "Hi Mamma_Mia, ***** has been quite sick since last night. I wanted to wait and see if she got better. (I have a 24hr rule on our contract - so mistake #2) She was sick after dinner and once in the night and she finished her breakfast about 1/2 hr ago and just lost it again. I'm going to keep her home today (duh) and watch how she does, prob take her to the Dr too." I reply with sympathy & concern and say to let me know what the Dr says.

I then text her at 5pm asking how dcg is doing - she took her to the Dr and they can't find anything off so it's just a bug. "She hasn't kept much down at all today, so trying to get her some pedialite". I reccomend the B.R.A.T and some soup then wish them well - then I ask "I guess you're keeping her home tomorrow too then?"

Mom replies - "Unless she gets alot better, I think so. I don't want to make the other kids sick too" thanks me for the food tip.

I then msg mom "I hope it's just a bug too. I'll be at the park in the morning and have some errands, I'll be home by 1pm....will DAD be stopping by?" (with my $$) Mom - "of course, I'll let him know"

Dad comes at 4pm with a sealed envelope and shorted me the two days she didn't come!!

I called mom 2 times and she didn't answer so I messaged her "Hi ****, I'm sorry...I opened the envelope and noticed that I was shorted 2 days pay. In our contract it states "Full time and part time fees are based on booked days, not attendance, therefore parents are responsible for fees whether child attends or not. (This includes sick days, statutory holidays and vacation time)".

SHE REPLIES -- "I thought you didnt want the kids to come when they are sick, you said that before. I would have brought her and gone to work" (yet she said before that dcg is staying home as she didn't want to get the others ill)

ME - "Well of course she should be at home. I wouldn't want the other children to catch anything. I don't want to make this a 'big deal' but it's all in the contract we both agreed on. I hope you understand"

Mom - "Thats why I didn't bring her"
(So it would be OK for me to deal with your sick kid and cleaning up her puke all day....riiiight!!)

ME- "Well yes she was sick so can not attend but her spot was still 'taken' therefore fees still apply"


No response............ I HATE THIS!!!!!

Why on God's green earth would you take a child with the flu to the doctor's office? Just so you can infect everyone else in the entire office with the flu germ? That's ridiculous!

Grounds for termination! How long have they been with you? This is how it is worded in my contract:

Weekly fees are payable regardless of closed daycare holidays, missed or sick days. Fees are not due when the daycare is closed due to caregiver’s vacation or illness or emergency.

I would quote my contract to anybody who questioned me and tell them they read it and signed it and must abide by it, no questions.

GOOD LUCK!

And then you state that a termination letter will be written up if they can't come up with the shorted days.

Do you have it in your manual/contract with their signatures of this rule?

In my manual under the Illness Policy (it's bolded and capped):

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Regular child care fees apply for all children in times of illness.

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I also have in my manual (which they sign) under the Fees section, and in the Contract (which they also sign) that they HAVE to (again bolded and capped):

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Payment for late fees is due at time of drop-off the next day with exact cash or cheque or your child will not be allowed to come to care. If payment is late, I will require a $20 late fee per day. Each day that you do not pay, your child will NOT receive care.

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This pushes them to RESPECT me and my business, and that I do NOT put up with bullshit like your DCM is pulling.
She would get a termination asap from me, unless she wants to fork over the money. She's paying for the child's spot, no matter what! The only time parents do not pay for care is when I have to close.

She antis up the money or you terminate. Period. WTH would any parent assume that they could just bring a puking kid to daycare just so they could get their monies worth? And, furthermore, if it was all in the CONTRACT then why didn't she READ IT before she signed it? And, as you said, she obviously didn't read it because she was also clueless to the fact that there was a 24 hour exclusion policy.

I think it speaks VOLUMES about a parent who says they would have brought their sick, puking child to daycare if they thought they had to pay. Yeah, real nice parent to that child.

I don't know.....the fact alone that she admitted she cared so little for her kid as to have dumped her at daycare when sick if she had to pay would be enough for me to terminate this family. Because NEXT time she is just gonna medicate that kid to cover up the symptoms and dump her in your daycare and the next thing you know you are ALL gonna be sick.

Ugh, people can be so stupid. Why would any parent WANT to send their sick child and instead go to work??? What kind of 'threat' is that? If she doesn't respond, and she shows up Monday WITHOUT the owed fees, have a termination letter ready in hand.

Yes, Termination and immediate if she doesn't come around ... and fast! You should call her. Block your number so she doesn't know it's you. Sucks for the budget I'm sure, but, it's like not paying your lawyer if you didn't win the court case. You have an aggreement, she was aware of it when she signed on. If she misunderstood then you've corrected her and she should pay up. Like not paying for part of your meal at a restaurant because you didn't eat your potatoes. UGH! I don't charge for sick days, but still... a contract is just that. She's being sneaky and I don't like sneaky... it takes all the trust away from the parent provider relationship.

Best of luck... stand your ground.

Seriously, don't people just get you so angry sometimes? Just stick to your guns and let her know she needs to pay for those two days. Did she even read your contracts or just sign on the line? My contracts are the same and that has happened to me before too. Except for the comment of "I would have just brought her and gone to work" oh my! WOW! You may have a winner there.
Not sure if some people are really that dumb? or if they play "dumb" to try and get a break. I always say, not only do I require 24hr notice but you also have to concider there is nothing any of us can do about a child being ill. If I knew within 24hr that you would keep her home I wouldnt charge and would have enough time to fill her spot. I'm sure you'll get your cash!!

Totally agree with Momof4 too: that is one of my biggest pet peeves in the world.....people who are stupid enough to bring their kid to the Dr if they are vomiting. What? At least give it a couple days before making a call to the doc. If its so serious the child run the risk of dehidration after a week of vomiting or cant keep food down for like a week maybe, but seriously? That is exactly how that NASTY crap gets spread in the first place. IF YOU OR ANYONE IN YOUR HOUSE IS ILL... STAY HOME!!!! :cursing:

Oh wow :blink:
I'll share a note I wrote for someone on facebook who was complaining about her daycare for this reason. Amazes me that someone would drop their little one off sick. Don't you wish you could just hand out the below for your daycare parent!!


Your child is sick; do you bring them to daycare?
The idea to write this came from a comment hat someone hated their daycare as their little one is always getting sick and bringing the illness into their home.
Asking yourself if you should take your child to daycare and or keep them home, is something every parent has had to ask themselves. Things like ‘my boss is going to give me a hard time’ or ‘I have so much work to do’, ‘I have a meeting that I can’t miss’ all go through your mind. Just the simple fact of using up your own sick and vacation days is annoying. As a Mom and daycare provider, I have been on both sides. I’ve been a parent with two little ones ill with many colds/flu. My husband and I used to do rock paper sizzers as to who was going to take the day off of work. My husband was also paid hourly so it took a hit to our pocket book as well. As a daycare provider, it is not my job to take care of your sick child. As a parent, that job belongs to you. I can only care for a child with cold like symptoms
The first years of your little one is like a roller coaster of illness as they are building their immune systems.
He/she could catch a virus anywhere. The chances are higher that they caught it from daycare and or playing with other kids as children share toys and then share their germs.
As a daycare provider, I have had parents bring their child to daycare with a fever reducing medicine already given to them, without making me aware. Masking an illness that could make other’s sick.
Keep these things in mind when giving your little one medication like Advil or Tylenol without advising your daycare provider;
~ If there is an emergency and your little one is rushed to the hospital, medical professionals will need to know if your little one is on any medication. There are risks of over dosing and or reaction to another medication being administered
~ Knowingly passing on a virus to not only the other kids in the daycare but their extended families which can result in other families also losing days off work and income. Always put the shoe on the other foot. Would you want someone bringing their child to daycare with your little one’s symptoms and expose them and you to becoming ill.
~ What about yourself when you’re not feeling well, how simple things can seem overwhelming and exhausting. Putting a little one into a busy daycare environment when dealing with a fuzzy head or chills and aches isn’t fair. Being on a fever reducing medicine will cause drowsiness and affect their coping skills. A simple thing can turn into a big deal.
This brings me back to the reason above as to why I wrote this, that not all daycares are the reason your child brings an illness into your home. By bringing your little one to care knowing they are ill beyond cold like symptoms and or given them Advil or Tylenol to mask the symptoms, YOU may have brought that illness into someone else’s home. This note is to give parents a different perspective to look at when making the decision if they should bring their child to daycare when they are sick.
I am confident in saying that all daycare providers want their daycare families to be honest and upfront. The well being of your child and the other children in our care, always comes first.

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Originally Posted by Momof4

Grounds for termination! How long have they been with you?

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She has been wiht me for over 6 months now...she has the contract at home and I have a signed copy. No excuses! I agree she must pay up on Tuesday! (sigh) it's "simple" to just say pay me or go...but it's not easy, right?

Now the question is re: in the termination letter I was thinking of giving her 2 weeks...I'm such a sissy! This is the first BIG thing between us and I don't want to 'screw her'. I could say this is the last week or the full two? I don't know if I'll feel comfortable doing an immediate (unless she responds and really pisses me off 'more'). GRRRRRRR I feel like crap, I hate this stuff.

Yes, the confrontation sucks! I think that as long as everything is understood upfront there shouldn't be a problem.

I would maybe send her an email this weekend quoting the agreement and advising her that $XX is due prior to care on Monday in order to her child starting their day at your daycare in order to bring her account up to balance. And that's all I'd say. I wouldn't threaten to not care for the child etc.

When she comes on Monday, if she doesn't offer it to you right away I would say something like "$XX is owed to complete last weeks payment" If she argues or doesn't have it, then refuse care. "I'm sorry, but my policies states that I can't continue care for a child until the account is where it should be" And take it from there. Sounds like she's the type that might get snippy, and all the better if she does. At least if she get's snippy you can let her know that she can contact you by phone to finish the conversation if she'd like, but it's not a conversation you're able to have during daycare hours and ask her to leave.

I know... all is easier said then done. Try not to stress over it and enjoy your weekend. You deserve to get paid and if you have a contract you need to enforce it. If you let it go, what is she policy is she going to break next?

In my contract I also have a late payment fee ...I would charge her the late payment fees at well. You did not receive your full payment on time.

********** UPDATE ************

Mom just replied 3hours later "I'll come by to drop it off in the morning, if you aren't home, I'll leave it for you somewhere".

Should I discuss anything with her tomorrow (if I'm home)? Tuesday morning at drop off pretend like nothing happened?

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Originally Posted by Mamma_Mia

********** UPDATE ************

Mom just replied 3hours later "I'll come by to drop it off in the morning, if you aren't home, I'll leave it for you somewhere".

Should I discuss anything with her tomorrow (if I'm home)? Tuesday morning at drop off pretend like nothing happened?

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Definitely bring it up. It NEEDS to be discussed, and shouldn't be hushed away. You don't need this to happen again. I know you said you don't like confrontation, neither do I, but people have to understand why we have these rules and regulations! Good luck!

Here we go...

Mom just text me again with...

"I saw my OB today (I wonder if she took her daughter with her :roll:) as well and he put me on a bed rest anyhow. I can continue to work for 2 weeks so I guess I'll use it as my two weeks notice to you too for taking **** out of daycare. I don't want to leave you short, so I wont tell my OB. I'm sure I'll be fine".

JESUS!!!

Way to put a guilt trip on me? So if she continues to bring dcg to me for the 'remaining' two weeks and something happenes to her or the baby then it's my fault? because its the "two weeks notice" rule as per the contract.....nice move! She's 27wks along.

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Should I offer her to pay the two weeks upfront and not have to travel as to not risk anything?

Geez!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can the Dad bring the child? Empathetically tell her sorry that she has to be on bedrest, and thank her for the 2 weeks notice saying that you'll really miss *****. Then ask if Dad or a grandparent would be able to drop the child off so she doesn't overdo it?

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Originally Posted by Lou

Geez!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can the Dad bring the child? Empathetically tell her sorry that she has to be on bedrest, and thank her for the 2 weeks notice saying that you'll really miss *****. Then ask if Dad or a grandparent would be able to drop the child off so she doesn't overdo it?

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I was thinking along the same lines! What a day! :thumbdown:

Ok I'm totally confused ..... This is for a child thats already been given two weeks notice ???? I thought this was just a child who was sick and the parents didn't want to pay for sick days ..... I though I had a good grasp of what's transpired and now I'm totally out in left field ....

This was for a child who was sick for two days....I now feel the mom is so pissed that I've made her pay that she's taking the child out of daycare and "following the contract" but making me feel guilty about it in hopes that I'll just say -don't worry, don't pay-

I have no advice since my daycare doesn't open till January and I just more or less lurk here right now but just needed to say WOW!!!! :blink:

Tough. Stick to it anyways, she can pay up front if she can't get out of bed. (she's going to work anyways!)

If she wants to pull her, that's her choice.
If you don't care about the $ and don't want to have to see her , you could jut tell not to come back.

Good luck and good job sticking up for your hard earned$ .

Excuse me Mamma Mia, but do NOT feel one iota of guilt for any reason. These problems are not yours, they are HERS! I'm usually a softie but this is making me really mad! The only way a guilt trip works is if you let it work. You are in control of your business and your rules and you are enforcing them and as a business woman you have no reason to feel guilty about enforcing them. Would any other professional service person feel guilty about your problems. Do you think your doctor or electrician would feel guilty if you couldn't pay? No, they would take you to collections! So be tough and strong and put that guilt down the drain NOW!!!

Didn't her message say she can work for another 2 weeks? Seems awfully convenient that she's suddently put on bed rest. How does that work anyways? Bed rest with another little one around? She is going to risk less bringing her to daycare and going home to actually rest in her bed then she would making meals, chasing around, playing etc. You have nothing to feel guilty about. She can give 2 weeks notice and not bring her child, but still pay. That's called fulfilling an agreement. If her bedrest was that important and she was the kind of person that followed through on her word then she would do just that. She wouldn't risk her unborn child to fulfill 2 weeks notice just so she feels she's gotten her money's worth.

As far as addressing it on Tuesday, I think this ones a lost cause and not worth the stress of a confrontation. She hasn't done anything wrong except not pay you and that she is fixing by coming tomorrow to complete payment. She didn't bring her child to you sick, although it seemed like she threatened too. If by chance she stays with you and she does eventually bring the child sick, deal with it then and give a warning for not following policies.

Thank you all for all your supportive words....I need some "back up" at times!!

I almost slipped....These are MY rules and you can not change them or TRY to make me feel guilty to change them.

The way I see it:
A) she said she went to the Dr today? so did she bring her puking child to a room full of pregnant women?
B) is on bed rest but allowed to work two weeks? - BullSh!t if you're put on bed rest it's NOW not in 2 weeks to be still working!!!
C) You said you can have 2 working weeks left but wont tell you're OB that dcg is still coming to daycare? - why? if you CAN work why would you hide THAT from your OB?
D) I'm sure I'll be fine - DO NOT try to guilt trip me!!!


So NO - now I'm mad and "how dare you"? I'm NOT going to talk about anything with her now...as long as I get my $, I don't care. She MAY just not show up tomorrow or ever....but it's a risk I'm willing to take.

I replied to her with "Oh geeze! I'm sorry to hear that. Bed rest sucks! Thank you for the 2 weeks notice, I'll miss ***** for sure! Can DAD or gma drop her off so you don't over do it?"

I am willing to bet that she is at home fuming over having to apy only because her child is still sick and shes stressed out/overwhelmed. If she is a deccent person and values your care (which is THE ONLY type parent we want) she will come to her senses as soon as the illness is over and get you your money. Just keep firm on the fact she owes you, dont buckle. It's so easy to do when you are a nice person, even tell her that you feel for her and understand but point out to her, just as it was unfortunate that she had to put up with the illness and lose a days work, you also dont want to lose taking her child for care, but life can be infortunate we adults have to deal with it. sympathise with her rather than be hard on her, but let her know she does need to pay per contract. just think, IF her child spread that illness to the daycare and it went through all the kids, calculate how much cash you would lose IF you didnt charge any of them for their 2/3 day absence over illness! that would be majority of your income. (plus youd be next to get sick and close for 2/3 unpd. days)

wooooh! okay missed a message or two, sorry!!!!!!! this ladies a freak of a pregnant woman, didnt know she was expecting!!! that explains it maybe, she has alot on her plate, plus raging hormones. oh, just get your two days due and give her the heave ho! no two weeks, just tell her to stay home with her child on "bed rest".

I hate this stuff too. I would give her the two weeks to find care but I would have her pay in advance. If she balks at this just tell her termination weeks require it. Stand firm. If she refuses, then she has decided not to have the two weeks and should go.

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Originally Posted by apples and bananas

How does that work anyways? Bed rest with another little one around? She is going to risk less bringing her to daycare and going home to actually rest in her bed then she would making meals, chasing around, playing etc. You have nothing to feel guilty about.

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Completely agree with this.

:) Applause, applause!

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Originally Posted by Mamma_Mia

Thank you all for all your supportive words....I need some "back up" at times!!

I almost slipped....These are MY rules and you can not change them or TRY to make me feel guilty to change them.

The way I see it:
A) she said she went to the Dr today? so did she bring her puking child to a room full of pregnant women?
B) is on bed rest but allowed to work two weeks? - BullSh!t if you're put on bed rest it's NOW not in 2 weeks to be still working!!!
C) You said you can have 2 working weeks left but wont tell you're OB that dcg is still coming to daycare? - why? if you CAN work why would you hide THAT from your OB?
D) I'm sure I'll be fine - DO NOT try to guilt trip me!!!


So NO - now I'm mad and "how dare you"? I'm NOT going to talk about anything with her now...as long as I get my $, I don't care. She MAY just not show up tomorrow or ever....but it's a risk I'm willing to take.

I replied to her with "Oh geeze! I'm sorry to hear that. Bed rest sucks! Thank you for the 2 weeks notice, I'll miss ***** for sure! Can DAD or gma drop her off so you don't over do it?"

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Did she reply to your last message Mammamia??

She's just taking her out of child care and giving herself two weeks to find another provider. She's blaming it on "beyond her control" but really she's just mad and knows she'll be able to retailiate with enough time to find herself a provider. I always reccomend requiring a full MONTHS notice and only accept notice on Friday. This eliminates people making quick decisions like this when they are angry. They have to wait till Friday to give the notice and they have a full calander month to pay. I also accrue paid time off at 1.5 days per month so any unused portion of that will also be due. From the day the parent gives notice they usually owe me about 6-800 dollars to get out of the contract. That kind of money makes people think twice.

Okay, so she's going to go to work for 2 weeks just because she has to pay you and give notice. Sounds weird to me. why would she put her health and that of her baby's at risk? The other thing is if she is on bedrest and she takes the child out of your care who is looking after the child? Just doesn't make sense to me. I think she may not be being totally honest with you, seems a huge coincidence that it happens now.

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Originally Posted by Mamma_Mia

Here we go...

Mom just text me again with...

"I saw my OB today (I wonder if she took her daughter with her :roll:) as well and he put me on a bed rest anyhow. I can continue to work for 2 weeks so I guess I'll use it as my two weeks notice to you too for taking **** out of daycare. I don't want to leave you short, so I wont tell my OB. I'm sure I'll be fine".

JESUS!!!

Way to put a guilt trip on me? So if she continues to bring dcg to me for the 'remaining' two weeks and something happenes to her or the baby then it's my fault? because its the "two weeks notice" rule as per the contract.....nice move! She's 27wks along.

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Should I offer her to pay the two weeks upfront and not have to travel as to not risk anything?

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Sorry to hear that she is acting so selfishly! Her story is full of holes and she would cut her nose of despite her face, so say good bye, and wish her well. People like that you do not need, a contract is just that..an agreement between people that states all the rules and regulations of your daycare. How some folks want everything for free…people like that are only seeing the $$$ going out of their wallets and not thinking about your effort of taking care of their child. I have this argument with my sister in law and even my brother when it comes to paying their daycare provider!!! They only think they should pay for the time spent not for sick days or holidays!!! WTH!!! Are you kidding me?? Really?? They too read,and signed their day care providers contract yet they still complain about the $$.
LOL!! Here is my response to my kin on this exact situation: So how would you feel if your boss called to tell you that you are not needed today because your job was given to another person for the day and you would not be getting paid? What…you would be mad…but why? he called you to let you know before you actually left for work. What? because you were hired for that job? andYou have bills to pay? I then smile and say: you hired her to take care of your children did you not?so pay her,she too has bills,do you think her bills are any different than yours? but, you feel you shouldn't have to pay her for days not worked..how does this differ from when you are sick and can't go to work? Does your boss not pay you then? oh he does ,so what the heck is the problem??? Oh ,I see you have no answer, but, you still feel your daycare provider shouldn't get the same privileges you do at work. I take it you feel she does not work hard enough for her $$ and you do? Well let me tell you sweet heart…she works damn hard and longer hours than you do too so remember that!!!
Holiday pay you ask? yes pay her holiday pay..you get holiday pay so pay her too..she works, she too gets holidays, she gets paid ..same as you. No difference….just it comes from your pocket and not your bosses…part of the responsibility of being a parent who chooses to work….or even has to work….you must pay to have your child taken care of…. very simple logic ….
In my sister in laws case she is just plain old CHEAP…and my brother follows her lead as he has to live with her!!! The other thing that burns my behind is paying for stat holidays….some don't feel they should have to pay for that either….again I ask..do you get paid? Thought so..so pay up and stop cheating her out of her $$$!!! In their case she takes her kids no matter what…if she is paying then the kids will be there( other than on holidays and stat holidays…but, trust me she complains loudly that she is paying this "CHICK" good hard $$$ for nothing!!! Grrrr…..makes me soooo mad….I respond back with…do you like knowing that the kids have a safe place to go everyday, and have fun, and she is on the bus route so you don't have to pay extra fees for getting them to and from school, and you don't have to worry about where the kids will go tomorrow ?? That is what you are paying for you ""Idiots" security and knowing that your kids are safe and having fun!!! Wow …talk about being cheap and stupid…and this is in my own family!!!
I have this argument yearly with them and they compare my daycare rules against their providers rules and that too bugs the pants off of me too….we all have our own rules and that is why contracts are written up so the parents can read, understand, and sign them so there are no surprises…yet we still have struggles to deal with when it comes to $$. Blows my mind that even with a signed contract we have to REMIND PARENTS of what they signed when they "FORGET" to pay us the $$$ they owe us….How would they like it if we "forgot to get up in the morning" to let them in the door or we "forgot " to pick up their child from school !!! Something tells me that would not go over very well….
Sorry for the long winded email, but, it gets my goat when we all still have to deal with people who do not honour the very contract they said they read and signed!!!
So stick to your rules of your contract….they read it and signed it ..done deal!!
If she pulled her,she wasn't meant to be there in the first place….there are great parents out there who honour the very paper they signed and live up to their end of the deal….so cross your fingers and pray the next family you get are better than the let one.
Be sure to clarify everything you have written in your contract next time…I sit down with the parents and go through everything before hand so they understand what it is they are signing…no surprises for anyone then!!!!
Good luck !!:thumbsup: