I finally terminated them but it did not end on good terms

Well, it came to and end. Psycho mom went COMPLETELY psycho on me yesterday and I had to end it on the spot.

Mom was 20 minutes late picking up her son and never called. I sent a text ( because I was watching both our kids and attempting to cook supper) and simply stated that she must have $10 at pick up. Apparently my text was rude. Whatever. So, for anyone who has been aware of this issue, last week she was determined to send an extra pair of clothes every day for me to change him into at the end of the day. I guess dad put his cup in there (usually he comes here with water in his cup) but I never saw it. Well, yesterday it was milk, not water. She texted me this at 6:30: "The milk you let in ____ bag is sour. Can you make sure to be more attentive towards his food and beverages next time? Negligence will not be tolerated any more (this is the FIRST time this has happened) 20 minutes later for pick up would not cause milk to sour. Please be more careful next time for your daycare's sake"
I tried calling her, but as usual, she wouldn't answer. So I texted her back and said I didn't realize the milk was in there, I should have been notified, however, I apologize for the milk having gone sour. But it's not like I made him drink it. Also, I have spoken to you before about your tone with me, and this is your last warning. There is no reason to talk to me that way. This was her reply:
"Excuse me? you need to watch your tone with me first. I'm just replicating ur attitude. And as a daycare provider, it is your job to check the milk bottle. It shows how much you actually pay attention to your daycare kids. Next time, do your job."
Again, I tried calling but she wouldn't answer. So, I texted her and said simply that there woulnd't be a next time that today was his last day.
She called me and started yelling at me. She was asking me all these questions and when I tried to answer, she told me to shut up like 6 times. I tried to remain calm and rational the entire time, but it was really hard. The worst part was that I was walking with my son, so he was subjected to the whole thing. Thankfully, i didn't yell.
When I got home, I was SEETHING. I told her I was sad that I was losing him because the kids love him and he loves being here. That seemed to quiet her down for a minute. But then she threatened to take me to court. The worst part was, and the part I don't understand, is that they pay up front for their two weeks. The end of the pay period is tomorrow. She said, no, today is not his last day. I paid till friday, he'll be there till Friday. Why would she want to bring her child to me after all that? If I'm such a bad child care provider.
It got so bad, my husband had to get involved. He works for the government and writes contracts and deals with legal issues during his day, so he texted both her and husband, in legaleeze, and basically told them to shove it. It ended after that. But it was about a 3 hour affair where she called me and texted me and yelled at me.

I am so upset! I HATE her and I am so sad that I lost the little boy. He was such a good little boy. I felt so little and, again, started second guessing myself again. Am I a bad daycare provider? Do I not take proper care of my kids? Then, I was worried she would start bad mouthing me. She's the type of person who would post a mean post on kijiji. I'm praying her level-headed husband can tame her.

Oh well, I guess this goes with the business, but it's still sad nonetheless.

Oh my LittleDragon: you have just had your first encounter with the third kind!!!! Good for you, you made it through....this is like "hazing" for the newbie! Congratulations you survived unscathed! Here's the deal, she was not the last...you need to take from it the good, the bad and the ugly. Remember the good, add a policy to protect you from the bad, and remember...some will always be "UGLY". She WILL say bad things about you....SO WHAT!!! many people will before your are through, the intelligent people of the world will always consider the source! and move on....you gave her way more time than she deserved. Take the high road and keep doing what you do, but dont let ANYONE do that to you again! (try not to anyway) :) :)

First of all..If she wants to take you to court let her..Save all you texts, vm, etc.

Secondly if she showed up for care I would have told her that her care was terminated as per (sight section about immed. term clause) and if she did not leave the property call police to escort her away, and I would call EVERYTIME-eithier until she got the message or the police dealt with her within the law...

Wow, I would never allow anybody to talk to me that way! Not even in a text or email. But if anybody told me to 'shut up' they would be done so fast it would spin their head! I would be furious and would not be able to hide it. Also, nobody is supposed to bring anything to my daycare unless it is not perishable and is to be saved for the bus ride home, etc. How were you supposed to know they put milk in their bag? That's ridiculous. I'm sure you are a wonderful caregiver as evidenced by all your posts and things you have shared with us.

Do you have something like this in your contract?

Termination of Agreement/Contract__________

Two weeks verbal and written notice by the home childcare provider or parent is required to terminate this agreement. Payment by the parent/guardian is due for the notice period regardless of whether or not the child is brought to daycare.

Failure by the home childcare provider to enforce one or more terms of the contract does not waive the right to enforce any other terms of the contract. I reserve the right to enforce or waive any term at my discretion after considering the family situation involved.

The following are grounds for immediate termination and deposit may be forfeited and become the property of ____________________ Daycare:
 Failure to pay tuition fees on time or failure to pay late fees
 Dishonesty or abusive language by parent or child
 Excessive aggressive behaviour by parent or child
 Failure to follow policies
 Failure to provide requested information, signed contract or medical form

There will be a one month probation period for newly accepted families and if the contract is terminated by either party within the first month payment is only required for the days for which childcare was provided.


Littledragon, I just got off the phone with a friend who called me in tears because she can't handle her daycare children and she's been doing this for almost 5 years. She has a particularly unruly group right now which would exhaust me completely. I told her she needs to terminate the troublemaker but she's so kind she's risking her own sanity and health to keep trying. Sometimes it's so much better to move on.

Wow, Wow................W ow! Can't believe this woman :eek: How horrible for you and your family to be subjected to her abuse. I feel so sorry for her little boy. He is going to miss you and his friends and he has her as a mother. At least thankfully, through the legalese tactics from your hubby, she is out of your life. Should she attempted to contact you, even to apologize, do not respond. Do not open the door for her to come back into your life. Yikes, she's scary. Can you imagine working for/with her? Unfortunately, she won't be the last abusive parent, however since you have this experience under your belt you now know to cut this behavior in the bud and never ever let anyone tell you to shut up again :mad:

Oh my, what is she going to take you to court over? Spoiled milk? Ha Ha! It's a shame that HER child has to suffer because of her adult bullying (that's what it seems to me) If that was me, her very first rude comment would of been her LAST! I would of said don't bother bring 'child's name' tomorrow your terminated for harassing behavior, don't bother text me either.

Hang in there - don't let one jerk rattle your cage. You're an awesome caregiver, and she is a rude bully - nothing more. I love Mom of 4's clause - I might just build it into my own contract. =) Hang in there. Fortunately this is a super time of year - everyone is looking for a caregiver. You'll have a new "Monday to Friday baby" to spoil before you know it !

Dont worry, 99.99999% sure she is NOT taking you to court, people who have issues say things like that, she didn't have a leg to stand on and wanted to scare you. I had a NASTY Mom leave my care after a HUGE screaming match (mostly her) about a week later I brought all her sons things to there house along with a Christmas card for him (I felt bad he left, It wasnt his fault his Mom was crazy!) a few days later I received a rediculous letter from her stating that "if I ever attempted to contact them again she was have her attourney contact me". It was a case of the "last word", I had taken the oppourtunity to make my "last word" a kind one, I think it made her stew, she was in the process of "bad mouthing" me to everyone in town.....she had to make it sound as if I were harassing her family (rather than just being kind enough to drop everything off and wish a Merry Christmas to the Boy). ........what was she going to spread about me then? "That nasty Day Care Lady had the nerve to kindly show up at my door with my sons freshly washed linens and spare clothes AND a Christmas Card full of Love". The Nerve!:ohmy:

Holy CRAP!!!!! That would deifnitely leave me shaken so I don't blame you in the slightest for being so upset!!! DO NOT question yourself for even a moment...that was her goal...don't let her succeed. So glad she's out of your hair for good!

I'm so sorry, dragon. :glomp: What a nasty, nasty woman. I hope you've heard the last from her. If she does badmouth you on kijiji or wherever, remember that you can report the post. It's also a legal issue (as your husband can likely tell you) if she slanders your business with falsehoods.

I feel sorry for the little guy too. Imagine having that kind of mother? I bet you dollars to donuts this won't be the last thing she screws up for him. :(

OH wow! I can't believe you had to go through that. Unreal how people are. She's a horrible person. Good for you to have them out of your life. Everything she demanded was ridiculous. People like that should have a nanny, not a daycare provider. Get an employee if you want to treat someone like crap!

I terminated a long time pain in the XXX a month ago. It felt so good! She wrote me a nasty email but I ignored it. Then she had the nerve to text me this past weekend and ask me if I'd take her son back. Seriously? People are crazy!

That is crazy! I am so sorry you had to deal with such abuse! I would try not to spend anymore time or energy on this horrible woman!

Holy Cow! I'd (sadly) go to the next level if someone told me to shut up! Seriously she would have had a black eye....professional or not, Fu*k Off B!tch!!

I'm sorry you've had to go through that! Stay strong and be thankful she's gone.

Thanks ladies for all the words! The support I receive on this board is priceless. My husband told me to not allow this woman to rent any more space in brain but I'm still seething. It's the sentence where she told me to next time do my job that got me over the edge. And then the way she spoke to me on the phone...

The reason why she wanted to take me to court was because since they started, I changed my policies. There's a section on misconduct - that I promise to always remain professional however, if there is ever a time where I am feeling arrassed, abused or confronted in my own home, the parent will be terminated immediately and they forfeit any deposit or payment that have already made. UNFORTUNATELY, it wasn't on her contract, which I didn't realize. So, my husband paid the money but because he's such a smarty pants, left it open to my being able to take action if she contacts me again.

I am really sad over this. I was worried about telling my kids, and they honestly didn't care. I said "I'm sad that he's gone, are you?" I wanted them feel like it was OK to be sad. But they said no and moved on. But I was almost in tears lol. This kid wasn't here long and I know I will find others, but maybe it's just the circumstances. It's just sad that all this had to happen. When we were on the phone, I was so upset and frazzled I called her a mean person lol imagine! A grown woman calling someone else mean, but she didn't like it lol apparently she doesn't like being called mean. She's probably been called mean before. I don't know how her husband puts up with her.

Oh well, onward and upward, right?

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Originally Posted by Littledragon

Oh well, onward and upward, right?

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Good for you ~ she is the one who was unprofessional as she apparently she thought she had the upper hand since she seemed to have a history of speaking down to you.
You were way nicer than I would have been and I bet...it won't take long for her next provider to feel the sting that you did. She sounds like she just isn't a nice person and will treat the next provider the same. Hopefully that provider asks where her little one was and calls you for a reference on her!!! Here's a perfect example of why I'm always nervous about taking someone one who left another daycare.

Good luck in filling the spot- you did the right thing

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Originally Posted by jec

Good for you ~ she is the one who was unprofessional as she apparently she thought she had the upper hand since she seemed to have a history of speaking down to you.
You were way nicer than I would have been and I bet...it won't take long for her next provider to feel the sting that you did. She sounds like she just isn't a nice person and will treat the next provider the same. Hopefully that provider asks where her little one was and calls you for a reference on her!!! Here's a perfect example of why I'm always nervous about taking someone one who left another daycare.

Good luck in filling the spot- you did the right thing

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There won't be another provider. The reason why I was toying on keeping them was because she is moving back to Asia at the end of the month. Her contract doesn't end until the end of the month, so needed care until the 28th. Now, she's left with nothing. She screwed herself, in the end. And that's what makes this SO satisfying. She has to deal with the fact that her and her family are completely screwed for care for the next three weeks. I doubt there will be any way she'd find daycare knowing she is leaving. Unless she lies, which she did to me. But I prefer to think she screwed and husband (who I really liked) is really mad at her. lol I know, I'm sad. But that little but makes me feel better. LOL

Karma eh!! She is getting what she gave out!
It sounds as though you turned a blind eye more than once to a comment and or policy that she broke. I'm learning to be firm on policies and building up the back bone. At the end of the day we are working with families and kids and that plays on our heart stings. You should feel satisfaction - she really had this coming speaking to you like that was not called for

I thought she was just going for two months on holidays ?

ok so the plot thickens.......she is miserable because perhaps there is a separation or divorce in the works, maybe she hates this country and has been homesick. There is always a reason for a persons unhappiness. Too bad she has to throw it on everyone else though. :(

Sorry!!! Mis-information. Yes, vacation for 2 months, but I have it in my head that she's not coming back. The husband actually told me he was excited for them to go, that he was looking forward to some freedom - now I see why. They seem to communicate very well, but I don't think they get along. He was REALLY nice to me, and was constantly undermining her to me - telling me she was rude and confrontational and that she shouldn't have said a lot of the things she said. I really don't think she will be coming back. Especially because she won't have a job.

I feel a lot better about this whole situation now. I am glad I let her go and I was the one to pull the plug. I have a new part timer starting on Monday and an after school kid starting in a few weeks so I'm good :)

Life really does throw you some curve balls sometimes. I prayed the other night for guidance because I was feeling so low and wasn't sure I could continue. The idea of having to find another full timer was so daunting. But now, I have a little girl coming three days a week, and a 7 year old coming after school. These two amount to the full day fees, however, for two days during the week I only have my son and two other kids. So now, I'm less stressed in the day and we can actually go out and DO stuff!! :cool:

So happy that everything turned out for the best for you. I truly beleive that everything happens for a reason.

Sorry!! Misinformation! Yes, 2 months vacation, but I have it in my head that she's not coming back. She seems SO miserable! And her husband actually told me that he's excited to have some freedom. No doubt! lol

Have you ever noticed on a parenting forum where someone calls their daycare provider their employee as if they are the boss? It seems to me that is the mentality of this parent. She is misinformed and if she wants an employee she needs a nanny. But we are business owners and enter into legal contracts to provide a very valuable service for income, but we make the rules and provide the service. And we deserve respect for all of our hard work and dedication.

Yay for you for filling your space so quickly!

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Originally Posted by Momof4

And we deserve respect for all of our hard work and dedication.

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I couldn't agree more. :) Keep up the good job.
____________________ ____________________
Steve Works
limo vancouver

Oh my word!! This lady sounds nuts! Be thankful you are finally done with her :)

I am like you and would be royally pissed off too though. I know that I provide quality care so if someone told me to "do my job better", you can bet I would be seeing red!! I have had a few awkward conversations with parents in the past and thankfully was always able to keep my cool. I don't know what I would have done in this case!! I think I likely would have just hung up and texted her to call me when she had a chance to calm down and wanted to talk like a mature adult.

It makes my minor complaints with past and current parents seem almost enjoyable! lol. That is great that you were able to find other clients! :)

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Originally Posted by 5 Little Monkeys

Oh my word!! This lady sounds nuts! Be thankful you are finally done with her :)

I am like you and would be royally pissed off too though. I know that I provide quality care so if someone told me to "do my job better", you can bet I would be seeing red!! I have had a few awkward conversations with parents in the past and thankfully was always able to keep my cool. I don't know what I would have done in this case!! I think I likely would have just hung up and texted her to call me when she had a chance to calm down and wanted to talk like a mature adult.

It makes my minor complaints with past and current parents seem almost enjoyable! lol. That is great that you were able to find other clients! :)

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5LM .... This thread is 18 months old and the OP no longer does day care.

OHH haha. I don't look at the dates of posted comments. It just showed up on my "new posts" from today lol.