Hey all,
I terminated care for a family a couple of weeks ago.
The Dad sent me an angry email this morning criticizing me and just in general ranting. Should I reply at all?
So frustrating and upsetting
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Hey all,
I terminated care for a family a couple of weeks ago.
The Dad sent me an angry email this morning criticizing me and just in general ranting. Should I reply at all?
So frustrating and upsetting
I wouldn't reply... I would add his email address to your junk pile or block list. Don't engage.
Smart of you to think before you sent the reply. I think I would ignore his rant.
You know you termed for the betterment of your daycare. Let Dad vent and you not replying shows who is the mature person.
Thanks for the quick replies!
I think I will send a very short email tomorrow saying thanks for sharing thoughts and take care.
This just makes me sure I did the right thing.
I would likely respond but in a mature manner, keep it short and not be defensive at all. Something along the lines of " I am sorry you feel this way. I enjoyed looking after xxx and did it to the best of my ability but unfortunately it didn't work out. I wish her all the best in her new daycare. Take care"
Thanks so much everyone :)
WTH? i hate parents who are so quick to criticize you when you terminate care, even though you did your best for their kid. i just went thru this.
I don't get why you would want your child somewhere that isnt a match for them. Like thats why there are different kinds of daycares!
I am so glad you guys were online! Thanks you!
What was he so angry about? I agree with 5LM. I would reply in a calm and respectful manner. He might be upset because he wants his child in your care. Maybe he can’t find another dcp and is angry at the whole situation and unfortunately people take it out on the wrong person. If he replies to your reply and still upset I would then ignore. But sometimes calming words, calms the storm. He will get over it. Let us know how it goes.
Poor you! Just wanted to add that I would recommend saving copies of all communication. Doubt anything will come of it but never hurts to just in case:)
Thanks everyone! It's just weird, but I am not going to focus on it. I always get parents (at least one on behalf of family) to sign a termination form even if their child is graduating stating terms of end of contract (i.e. This was an amicable end of contract etc. etc.) and at a few weeks ago when we did that there was no problem. They were probably just frustrated that they couldn't find care afterwards....
Is it possible they did find care but the child was the same at the new daycare and they were let go from that one too and now they are mad but there anger is being directed in the way.
I don't think it is a good idea to respond. Even more so if as you said there was a signed termination form outlining the whys and parents were okay about it. No matter how you respond, or how polite you are, it looks like he is looking to get a rise out of you. If he is angry a week after the termination, there is nothing you can say that will ease these feelings. If you are calm and mature, he could easily take it as not caring and it could make him more irritable. I think you should act like no email came at all. If he is going to act like a child with not controlling his emotions and having an outburst, no matter how human it is to react that way, I would treat it the same as though a child was acting out and give them absolutely no attention.
I totally agree with Bright Sparks. Ignore, ignore, ignore.
Well, I did respond. I just sent a very short email just saying thank you for sharing your thoughts and I did what I thought was best. I will not be responding to any further emails. I probably shouldn't have bothered and will keep that in mind for the future-though I am hoping this doesn't happen again!
Thanks for all the support!
I think you did the right thing. We run a business and need to keep it professional. I don't think ignoring someone would be. Hopefully they just leave it at that.
I think it is professional to reply to emails, but when I receive an angry rant from a parent it wouldn't help IMO or change anything to respond. If you knew me, you would know I am an absolute stickler for customer service. Coming from England where customer service is HUGE, I already have to work a great deal on myself over here with the massive difference in North America, so I am all about providing professional business conduct and great customer service. It would be my instinct to respond too, but if I was not being treated with respect, the best way for me to deal with this, would be to not respond. The issue had already been addressed with these parents so its not like not responding would be dismissing their feelings and concerns, but it is not within my job description to sooth an angry parent with kind words after they have been abusive or rude to me. This doesn't help and implies that it was okay for them to treat me that way if I just offer a polite and courteous response rather than telling them they are out of line speaking to me that way, although that wouldn't help so shouldn't be done either. If they want my respect, they have to treat me with respect. You wouldn't walk into a shop a week after being refused a refund because you didn't stick to the store policy and start going off on a rant at the manager. It's not like the dad even had the balls to say any of this to the providers face, which is likely a blessing not having that kind of confrontation. If it is professional to always respond to emails, at what point do you stop? In this case or another, every response you make could feed the emotions of the other party involved making the situation worse, but should I keep being professional by responding every single time? Professionalism is about good communication, yes, but having boundaries is also a huge part of having a successful business and being a successful business person. Ignoring this person and not engaging in a conversation, all be it passive aggressive ranting on the fathers part in this instance, is the most professional thing to do in this situation I believe because it stops the line of communication which no longer serves a purpose and prevents escalation in an angry parent.Quote:
Originally Posted by mickyc
Bright Sparks- I agree with both lines of thinking on replying and not replying. But I must admit that part of the reason I didn't give a more "invested/detailed" reply email was because I was not interested in seeming argumentative (which I also mentioned in the email). But then, what is the point in responding, if they've made up their mind to be angry? I didn't say anything really in my reply email, because I knew there was no point, they were angry and nothing I was going to say was going to change that, unfortunately.
I think it is hard to know what to do. Some parents have no problem placing blame and being inflammatory-and I really hope I don't get emails/calls ect. like this in the future from any family, but I don't know that I would bother replying again-seems pointless.
I think it is still more common than not for most parents to act in a much more passive way, which is good for us, in situations like this. It's not like there is even anything left to resolve. I try not to pass judgement too quickly on people in these circumstances as we are all victims of our own hot head at times which means that some innocent has to bare the wrath of our mood lol. It's totally unacceptable to treat someone like crap for any reason but it is still normal for people to do so and it is in OUR best interest sometimes to let it go and not respond. It sounds like you did what was best for you and in your particular situation. I hope you never have to deal with people like this again.Quote:
Originally Posted by Daycare123
Weird he would wait to send it !!! I think I prob would of replied as you did ! I think acknowledging it was professional , especially not engaging !!
I'm not sure what he thought to accomplish