Bright Sparks- I agree with both lines of thinking on replying and not replying. But I must admit that part of the reason I didn't give a more "invested/detailed" reply email was because I was not interested in seeming argumentative (which I also mentioned in the email). But then, what is the point in responding, if they've made up their mind to be angry? I didn't say anything really in my reply email, because I knew there was no point, they were angry and nothing I was going to say was going to change that, unfortunately.
I think it is hard to know what to do. Some parents have no problem placing blame and being inflammatory-and I really hope I don't get emails/calls ect. like this in the future from any family, but I don't know that I would bother replying again-seems pointless.