Christmas crafts and parents......:(

Advice with how to move forward.
So I have a difficult parents that really gets on my nerves at times. thinks we sit on our butts all days that that i shouldnt get a break while they nap.
Anyways, yesterday she drops dkc off, hands me heir bag and off she goes.
12:30 just as lunch is wrapping up I get a text " Just wanted to let you know that there is a craft set I thought you might enjoy doing".
Said ok, but nap time in in a few minutes so we would have to wait until tomorrow ( today) to do it. After getting the kids into bed, I go and get out said craft. I'm like wholly crap it's one of these 300 peice gingerbread sets which have to be hot glued into place.
So I go to text mom that this might be a bit difficult to do here because 1 it is a solo set so only one child could take it home, and 2 it is labeled as being age appropriate for a 8 year old. Her child is 2, and can barely hold a fricking spoon.
Here back from mom " Oh, I understand its for an older child my though was that you could do it during nap so dck can bring it to grandparents house since I don't have time for arts and crafts. Please make sure its in a shoe box so it wont get ruined on the drive over.";)
At that point I was just like no, I'm not going to sit and take an hour or more of my day to do a craft that if you want done with your child, take the time to do it with your child.
More showed up 10 minutes late, granted it was a snow day here, and was like so how did the craft go. I handed her the bag, with kit unopened, and said as nicely as I could, "I appreciate the though, and I would love to spend the afternoon crafting( which is true), and asked if she would like to provide a cooking and cleaning service to come to free up my time?'
She just game me a huff and said something about how disappointed the grandparents are going to be.
Child is off on holidays for the rest of the week, so I wont see thttp://www.daycarebear.ca/forum/images/smilies/RpS/RpS_wink.gifhem until Monday. Would you address it further?

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Originally Posted by 33 Daiseys

Advice with how to move forward.... Would you address it further?

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No. Leave alone now.

I would not have been impressed either but I do think your reply about cooking and cleaning maybe unprofessional. I would have just explained that nap time I am washing dishes from lunch, mopping floor and bathroom and preparing for afternoon so I not have time either and not see it as my role to facilitate one family's gift for grandparents.

But you made your point - why stir it up more? It will only result in bad feeling and drama. There nothing to be gained from poking the bear.

I seriously just spit my tea out.

I don't even know what to say.

I mean, put the boxed kit in a show box and hand it over? I just don't know what to say. Who in their right mind asks a daycare provider to hot glue gun 300 pieces together for grandparents? You don't ask them to glue 2 pieces together. It is the equivalent of handing you their shopping list and telling you to wrap it all after you've bought it.

Maybe print off your contract and have them revisit it? Inform them of what your responsibilities are since they don't seem to know.

I know at times it can be frustrating. But, as a professional probably I could have gave her the option to choose: 1 the craft is not age appropriate (and your role as educator is to make sure every child is able to participate and support the craft activity with any little skills they have); 2 how ever it can get done but not as the picture in the box. Using al the pieces as a loose parts and regular glue for everyone and when everyone is able to participate. 3 for the grand parents to see, you can send a digital picture of the grand child hands on. Or last, the mother and the child can do it together. (As you stated before) but not just you doing it alone and on your own afternoon prep. time. I'm sure the grand parents will love to see their grand child working on it. Not just and the end product.

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Originally Posted by Peacefulbird

I know at times it can be frustrating. But, as a professional probably I could have gave her the option to choose: 1 the craft is not age appropriate (and your role as educator is to make sure every child is able to participate and support the craft activity with any little skills they have); 2 how ever it can get done but not as the picture in the box. Using al the pieces as a loose parts and regular glue for everyone and when everyone is able to participate. 3 for the grand parents to see, you can send a digital picture of the grand child hands on. Or last, the mother and the child can do it together. (As you stated before) but not just you doing it alone and on your own afternoon prep. time. I'm sure the grand parents will love to see their grand child working on it. Not just and the end product.

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I truthfully am not sure that giving the parents options is the right way to go. They have stepped outside the boundary of acceptable expectations. They have sent a 300 pc hot glue gun project to the caregiver to be done during nap to then be sent to grandparents as a gift. They did not mistakenly overestimate the children's abilities and send a group activity for the daycare they intentionally sent an activity for the caregiver to do by herself for a present for someone else.

It is not acceptable in any career for someone to be given a project that is not related to the career to be done on work time. It is certainly not acceptable for a home daycare parent to be giving a self employed home daycare provider this project to be done during her working day.

Options just give the parent the idea that they just chose the wrong activity and next time they want Christmas presents made they need to send one that is just a bit easier. The box needed to be returned unopened with a clear discussion about how it was not acceptable to send it so this doesn't happen again.

Hi all, thanks for the thoughts. This parent will be getting a term letter in the new year. This is the third time some thing has come up. and both myself and my husband are fed up with her.
2 - Last week we did a bunch of baking for a local nursing home, I'm talking 4 days of cookies and squares:) I had bought tins so that each child including my own would get one of each to take home ( I bought the big metal tins so there was more then enough sent home). The rest I had packaged up so that we could take it in for the seniors. This was the Tuesday night.
Mom shows up to pick up on Wednesday with a second EMPTY tin, " So I have a christmas party on Friday at work, can put some cookies in her for me?"
My response was, "Sorry they were dropped off this am ( there was a permission for set out saying we were visiting , and bringing the baked goods), but if you want the recipies dck can help you, they were a great help".
Her response, "Well I don't have time for that!", and stormed out dragging dck behind her.
1 - The first time was when she got made that i didn't take the kids trick or treating on Halloween day at the mall like i did last year. This year the local mall did there trick or treating on the Saturday. She had know that we wouldn't be going, {since it wasn't happening }, and that we would have a party and craft day here.
Any how she wanted me to keep her child here to take out since "she hates being outside".
I told her sorry but we had just gotten over a cold (which we had) and that my husband was going to take my kids out since I had to catch up on cooking and cleaning. Her reply was that if it took so long to clean and cook that I should hire help( that's where my comment came from).
Needless to say she stomped off saying to dck" Well I guess you don't get to go trick or treating this year"
It really is a shame the dad is great, but I never see him, and I love the grandparents( If i had know that the craft was for grandparents, and had been given ample notice, I would have just because they are always so kind. They showed up with a cake on my birthday, and last Christmas brought all of the kids presents and timbits)

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Originally Posted by Lee-Bee

I truthfully am not sure that giving the parents options is the right way to go. They have stepped outside the boundary of acceptable expectations. They have sent a 300 pc hot glue gun project to the caregiver to be done during nap to then be sent to grandparents as a gift. They did not mistakenly overestimate the children's abilities and send a group activity for the daycare they intentionally sent an activity for the caregiver to do by herself for a present for someone else.

It is not acceptable in any career for someone to be given a project that is not related to the career to be done on work time. It is certainly not acceptable for a home daycare parent to be giving a self employed home daycare provider this project to be done during her working day.

Options just give the parent the idea that they just chose the wrong activity and next time they want Christmas presents made they need to send one that is just a bit easier. The box needed to be returned unopened with a clear discussion about how it was not acceptable to send it so this doesn't happen again.

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Thanks I just couldn't believe it.

She wanted you to take her kid trick or treating on Saturday? Did I read that right?

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Originally Posted by superfun

She wanted you to take her kid trick or treating on Saturday? Did I read that right?

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No she wanted me to take her kid out trick or treating, after hours on a school night.

I had told her the mall was doing an inside trick or treat on the Saturday before Halloween( last year they did it on halloween day, but due to low attendance they did it this way this year).

Ooh... that's still nuts. I can't believe she'd even think that.

Whoa, that mom needs a major dose of reality! If she wants to give the grandparents a gift that wasn't even made by her child, buy one!! How ridiculous....."here grandma and grandpa! My dcp made you a lovely craft but we'll just say it was from me!" Lol

I'm not even sure how'd I respond tbh because I've never had anything even remotely similar happen....good grief, some parents! Haha

Glad you're going to term. Mom doesn't deserve your childcare services. Hope u replace with someone that respects you. I feel bad for her daughter being parented this way; it's going to mess her up.

I can't help but feel that the mom just wasn't equipped to be a parent yet. Perhaps she came from a home where she didn't have to do anything for herself through until she moved out. So as a mother still just expects others to do everything and really doesn't realize that just isn't how things work in the real world!

Maybe the grandparents would enjoy doing it with the child

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Originally Posted by Lee-Bee

I can't help but feel that the mom just wasn't equipped to be a parent yet. Perhaps she came from a home where she didn't have to do anything for herself through until she moved out. So as a mother still just expects others to do everything and really doesn't realize that just isn't how things work in the real world!

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possibly, but more and more I find that parents dont want to do anything with their children, and basically want to get them home feed them and put them into bed.

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Originally Posted by Crayola kiddies

Maybe the grandparents would enjoy doing it with the child

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You would think. The grandparents are really nice and will bring me little gifts and coffee, even when the child is not in care. I am really going to miss them

They showed up with a cake on my birthday, and last Christmas brought all of the kids presents and timbits)

What a tool. I don't envy you for having to deal with such selfishness and inconsideration. Like what? We don't need a hour to relax?? Argh!! Just tell her that that is your break time and you're job isn't to do crafts for her!! :unsure: