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  1. #1
    Euphoric ! Inspired by Reggio's Avatar
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    Ya I would not say it is NORMAL as in a very high percentage of kids are that way in infancy - those to me are signs over an overtired child who has been allowed to hit/scream/tantrum to have their needs met ... Infants are cause and effect oriented if it works to get their need met they repeat it of it does NOT they try something else ... all adults need to be sending that poor thing the message GENTLE HANDS and so forth otherwise you are in for challenges as she gets older at brewing that "problem solving strategy" later

    It shocks me how many times I see parents allowing their infant to hit slap kick at them and they do not DO anything other that give the kid what they wanted ... Seriously regardless of the age that is NOT appropriate behavior!!!!
    Children construct their own intelligence. The adult must provide activities and context, but most of all must be able to listen. Children need proof that adults believe in them. Their three great desires are to be listened to, to understand, and to demonstrate that they are exactly what we expect."
    Loris Malaguzzi

  2. #2
    Euphoric ! Sandbox Sally's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Inspired by Reggio View Post
    It shocks me how many times I see parents allowing their infant to hit slap kick at them and they do not DO anything other that give the kid what they wanted ... Seriously regardless of the age that is NOT appropriate behavior!!!!
    Me too! I have a parent whose son (at pickup) full out whacks her across the face and kicks her in the stomach, and she says NOTHING. He doesn't do this with me, as he learned very early on that it wouldn't fly - I taught him without yelling or upsetting him.

  3. #3
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    It sounds like this child is way over the top in terms of transitioning.
    Transitioning usually means crying and being scared to move even 2 inches from your clutches until they feel comfy with the surroundings and get used to routines. Other transitioning things are constantly wanting to be carried and just being unable to play independently for even 30 seconds.

    Vomit is where I draw the line every time. If a kid would cry to that point then I would head for the hills. Vomit is just so gross and extreme that it is a red flag

    Are there other people who you could interview and give the spot to? This child may take a loooong time to transition and I would be scared that the behaviour might not improve before your trial period is up and then it is harder to get rid of them.

    Good luck though. I feel for you !!

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spixie33 View Post
    It sounds like this child is way over the top in terms of transitioning.
    Transitioning usually means crying and being scared to move even 2 inches from your clutches until they feel comfy with the surroundings and get used to routines. Other transitioning things are constantly wanting to be carried and just being unable to play independently for even 30 seconds.

    Vomit is where I draw the line every time. If a kid would cry to that point then I would head for the hills. Vomit is just so gross and extreme that it is a red flag

    Are there other people who you could interview and give the spot to? This child may take a loooong time to transition and I would be scared that the behaviour might not improve before your trial period is up and then it is harder to get rid of them.

    Good luck though. I feel for you !!
    She doesn't cry... Doesn't cling to me... And honestly it has just gotten worse. She did way better her first couple of days here then she's doing now. I guess she realizes that this is permanent.

    The vomit disgusts me... Especially the forceful, hands down her throat vomit.

    I would have absolutely no problem filling the space. I actually have a wait list for this age. Seriously there is NO childcare available. This is the problem, I feel way too bad to terminate because I KNOW the parents will NOT find childcare! Most waiting lists are 2 years long.

    AND... Like you all have warned... these are acquaintances. My husband has to work with the Dad every day. Leaving them stranded would be difficult. So I'm determined to make this work! But not at the expense of my own children. My 10 MO flinches when she goes near her. I can only handle a couple of more bruises on my babe before I give up!

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by olivetree View Post
    She doesn't cry... Doesn't cling to me... And honestly it has just gotten worse. She did way better her first couple of days here then she's doing now. I guess she realizes that this is permanent.

    The vomit disgusts me... Especially the forceful, hands down her throat vomit.

    I would have absolutely no problem filling the space. I actually have a wait list for this age. Seriously there is NO childcare available. This is the problem, I feel way too bad to terminate because I KNOW the parents will NOT find childcare! Most waiting lists are 2 years long.

    AND... Like you all have warned... these are acquaintances. My husband has to work with the Dad every day. Leaving them stranded would be difficult. So I'm determined to make this work! But not at the expense of my own children. My 10 MO flinches when she goes near her. I can only handle a couple of more bruises on my babe before I give up!
    Yikes - having a personal connection to the parents does make it ten times worse because it makes you worry what they will think and how it will affect the relationship.

    I think - honestly though - if I had a 10 month old who ended up with bruises then I would show them to mom and say you have to think of your child first....she should be able to understand that as a mother and apologize profusely and give them 3-4 weeks notice and say also that you are worried about the vomit and that your child may touch it etc. Or tell them you are willing to try another 3 weeks and see if it gets better but after that time you might have no choice but to let them go if things don't get better.

    It sounds awful. I feel your pain

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