HELP! I have a hitter!

[playfelt]

Put an end to touching as much as you can. One of the things I would not do is the go back and give a hug - I would be teaching the child that she is not allowed to touch her friends because until she learns not to hurt them. Schools have a hands off policy - in theory.

I don't do a time out as such but more a turn away. Meaning your friends don't want to play with you when you hurt them so go play somewhere else, then turn her around and steer her in the other direction. After two hits in the same freeplay session she plays alone for the rest of the time. Each day she gets to "try" being social, is reminded at the start of freeplay that we don't hit our friends and if we have a problem we come and get my help.

Take note if she is feeling threatened by the ones she hits - if a child is close enough to be hit then they are in the personal space of the hitter so something to consider. Was she afraid they were going to take what she was playing with, was she being ignored by the child she was trying to play with. Not that that means the hitting is ok but at least you will have found the trigger to work on.

Sometimes it does come down to teaching the other kids to keep their distance as in they bring it on themselves by getting in her space.

Hitting tends to give more warning than biting so that is one good thing. What is the opinion of teaching the other children that it is ok to defend yourself from a hitter or biter by pushing them away. I know not standard curriculum but it is also true that a bully will target those they know won't fight back.

As the words come the hitting usually stops so that is one eventual positive. Actually teaching the child to put their hands on their hips and say no, or me mad or something they can say when they are feeling like hitting - gives them the physical release they need, keeps the other child from getting hurt and warns them of the child's anger, gives you time to get there to interceded and use the incident as a teaching moment rather than coming in after the fact as the referee and calling a 2 minute penalty.

[Mamma_Mia]

Take note if she is feeling threatened by the ones she hits - if a child is close enough to be hit then they are in the personal space of the hitter so something to consider. Was she afraid they were going to take what she was playing with, was she being ignored by the child she was trying to play with. Not that that means the hitting is ok but at least you will have found the trigger to work on.

My own daughter hit dcg today and I was shocked! I firmly said NO we dont hit and removed her from the playtime into the kitchen with me. As she went back to play I was hearing dcg whimpering....I stood in the back doorway to "spy"...well dcg was trying to force my daughter to sit next to her, my kid was pushing her away over and over again until wack! I went over and again said that hitting isn't allowed and to say NO I don't want to or to call me ---- then I turned to dcg and had a talking with her too. You cn't MAKE ppl do things (she has a bad habbit of being a "boss" directing others, barking orders that would come from an adult etc.)

So yeah I'd try to figure out why...