Need advice on mom who can't pay!!!!!

[Littledragon]

So, I mentioned in another post that mom may not pay bc she doesn't have the money.

So here's the thing. I REQUIRE stated in my contract that I receive THREE weeks notice for termination. In my mind, this three weeks includes the last 2 weeks pay that I will receive. Mom sent me an email on Monday and said her daughter's last day would be aug 3. That's not even two weeks, let alone three. I sent her an email and told her that I require 3 weeks notice and that on Monday, payment due will be $400. She sent me two emails. These are them:

first: "I won't have $400. I know it was late but if I don't have the money, i can't pay you. I meant to send it last week, but with all the sick stuff (he kid was sick), I didn't get the email out. I physically will not have the $400 for you."

I didn't reply.

Second email: "I'm honestly not trying to screw you. i sent you an email on Monday explaining this. If I had the money, I would pay you. I don't even have the money to feed my family."

WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT?! If she doesn't pay me, I don't have the money to feed my family! When she started, I did her a favour and lowered my daily fee so she could afford care. Now she's doing this. I need that money. It's not an option, but I feel like a heartless bitch. What do I say???????????

[Inspired by Reggio]

Hon ~ I am so sorry you are in this position!

I know it sounds harsh but this is going to be a tough lesson learned for you ~ do not do anyone a FAVOR in business unless you can afford to be charitable and not care if they do not 'appreciate' the favor cause fact remains they do not see it as a favor they see it as a norm for them and it sets the precedent that your 'contract' is negotiable ... which is why she is now trying to change it again cause it worked last time she plead' cannot afford' you buckled and lowered your fee!

Being able to AFFORD childcare is about priorities and if they set their childcare bill above their lets say cable/internet/phone upgrades and cellphone packages, their dinner out and entertainment, clothes on their back, vehicle and other 'expenses' ... most people will choose to pay ALL THOSE before paying for childcare which shows the PRIORITY they place on their childcare ... you do not NEED cable, internet, phone upgrades, cellphones, dinner out, movies, new clothes, a vehicle ~ but if you have no childcare you cannot WORK to pay for any of those things and yet people put them FIRST on their lists of things they can 'afford' ????

Unfortunately without a security deposit or payment in advance of service you are screwed here! The first option you have is if she shows up for care without the FULL payment due ~ refuse service until the payment is received and account is in 'good standing! But seeing as she does not NEED care cause she is not working and leaving she just wont come ~you'd have to sue her for the $$$ and well that will likely cost you more in time off work than the $$ you would get from her!

Do you take a security deposit when you START the relationship to apply to the notice period at the end? IMO your security deposit should be equal to the notice you require them to give ~ so if it is THREE WEEKS than your deposit is equal to 3 weeks of fees that are applied when the notice is given ... if they do not give proper notice they FORFEIT the security deposit and you at least have X money to use while trying to find a replacement client!

This way you are never out money because they than continue to pay in 'advance' of care ... if a payment bounces or they just take off you have the 3 weeks of fees 'banked' for them.

[ladyjbug]

You are not a heartless bitch. I'm calling BS on this woman. She is PLAYING you. She knows that you are a nice person and will feel bad about that statement that she can't feed her family. If someone was that hard up for money, she wouldn't be able to afford even one more day in daycare, but she can afford two weeks more? Whether the money is there or not is a matter of priorities. Does she still have cable? A cell phone bill? A gym membership? If she is hard up, she needs to get rid of all the extras in her life and pay her outstanding bills. I would just simply write back that you can sympathize with her situation as her not paying you will put you in the same exact situation, and that your income is NOT disposable. Therefore, you will need to enforce the contract or you will see them in court (or send them to collections). I bet they will figure out how to get the money to you. If not, you just show the judge the signed contract and then they will owe your money AND your legal fees. Not your problem!

[ladyjbug]

And apparently, Reggio and I were typing at the same time. I DO think you should sue or send to collections. Even if you never see a penny, it is the principle of the thing! People should pay their debts, and people should honour the commitments they make to us! We are businesses and should be treated as such.

[Littledragon]

Do you take a security deposit when you START the relationship to apply to the notice period at the end? IMO your security deposit should be equal to the notice you require them to give ~ so if it is THREE WEEKS than your deposit is equal to 3 weeks of fees that are applied when the notice is given ... if they do not give proper notice they FORFEIT the security deposit and you at least have X money to use while trying to find a replacement client!.

Yes, I do take a security deposit but it's only for one week and is for their last week. In my mind, the way it would work would be that the family would give their three weeks notice on pay day, so then they pay for the next two weeks and then have the last one paid.

I'm glad you guys are saying all this because this is how I feel. She should pay me, the money is owed to me, and she is playing her sympathy card. I just don't know how to say it without sounding like a mean person. And, I'm afraid that if I do say "you owe the money, too bad" (not in so many words) she just won't show up tomorrow. Since she's not working, she doesn't have to take time off. She can just yank her. But, I will threaten to take her to court if it escalates, and hopefully just the threat will get her off her ass. This is something she knew would happen. When she paid last week, she said there was a possibility she would take her out. I told her THAT day she had to give 3 weeks notice. If she'd done it that day, none of this would be an issue. But she was waited a whole week before giving notice, and now she owes.

This is what I am going to say:

Dear _____,

I sympathize with your situation, however, the fact remains that payment of $400 is still due on Monday, July 30th. If you had given notice a week earlier, this would not be an issue, however, notice as of Monday, July 23rd, was not sufficient notice as per stated in our signed agreement. This is a business, and if I allowed everyone to bend the rules, my business would be sunk.

That being said, your daughter has a place here until August 10th, and $400 is due Monday, July 30th.

Have a great day

It's going to make it really awkward for early morning drop offs, but whatever.

Is there another way that I should word this? I really struggled with that lol trying to keep emotion out of these things is very difficult for me lol

[Littledragon]

Okay, this is what I ended up writing:

I can sympathize with your situation, I really do, however, not paying would put me in the very same position. My income is not disposable, and my business is what puts food on my table. Therefore, I am going to have to enforce my contract policies. This was something you were aware of, and should have been planned for.
Therefore, payment of $400 is still due Monday, July 30th. If sufficient notice had been given a week earlier (as we had discusses this could be a possibility), this would not be an issue. However, notice as of Monday, July 23rd, is not sufficient notice for termination of August 3rd, as stipulated in our signed agreement (page 3, first paragraph “By Parent: Once the Agreement it in effect the Parent is required to give the Provider three (3) full weeks’ notice, in writing for termination of care or they will be held liable to cover full care fees for this period. This is non-negotiable.”).
All that being said, D*** has a place here until August 10th, if you so choose, and $400 is due Monday, July 30th, 2012
I have very much enjoyed working with you in raising your daughter for the short amount of time that she was here. I do hope this doesn’t put a dent in our friendly relationship, however, if I bent the rules for everyone, I would no longer have a business.

Sincerely,
______

[jec]

Your letter sounds good- wonder how she is will respond!!

[Judy Trickett]

What you do is then refuse any further care until she DOES pay you what is left to pay. So, let's say she paid you on Monday for this week - you KEEP that money and don't allow her to come thursday or Friday.

My contract says that the second you give me notice you owe me the remaining amount of weeks FEES that day in order to get any more care. That way, if they don't pay me I won't care for their child for the duration of the stay they still need.

[kidlove]

unless you want to go so far to try and sue her in small claims court, you could. but to me, that would be just too much for such a small amount of cash. not to mention it will only cause you to harbor more resentment against her. if you needed to do her a favor of lowering her rates in the first place? there was your flag....sounds like you may have been a little desperate to fill a spot, and maybe you should have concidered if she cant afford your rates, and she isnt solidly employed yet......this may not be a good fit/good idea to take this family on! I would put myself in her shoes for a second and realize she probly just doesnt have the money and the longer she drags it out the less she will regard even paying you at all. Cut your losses, wish her the best, kiss her kid, and mark in your notes to "never take her back", just another lesson learned in the fun business of daycare!!!!!!!! someone else will come along soon enough...just dont make the same mistakes twice. make sure they have solid employment.

[jec]

If the lady comes back to say she just can't pay, I think taking Judy's and kidlove's advice by saying sorry I can't continue care and wish her well and end on a professonal way.
Good luck tought spot